PixieKitten Posted July 15, 2015 Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 This has been the absolute worst 12 months that I've had in a long, long time.In July last year, just asfter building myself up and feeling amazing, I broke my foot. Suddenly couldn't do a damn thing.Then I got a job. and it sucked. the manager was awful and was constantly making me cry and I hated it.Then he left, and it got better, and I really got on well with the other members of staff.Too well.I break up with my almost-fiance(as in he's bought the ring and was 2 weeks away from officially proposing) because of various reasons that boil down to the fact that he was making my depression not only come back but worse than ever. So he's completely broken hearted and I feel like an ass.I get with the newly-promoted assistant manager. At first it was just for fun, we're drinking a lot, going out, then all of a sudden he's talking long term stuff. Then he's saying how he's fallen for me really hard, THEN he's saying he loves me. So I open up, and god help me, I fall in love too. Pretty hard.2 weeks later, he's dumped me. By text. I'm in pieces. Everytime I see him I don't know if I want to punch him or myself for being such an idiot. I do know I want to cry. Which isn't great considering we work together 4+ times a week. So yeah. Health slipped, workouts disappeared, my love life crumbled into a pathetic pile of dust right before my eyes, and I'm falling asleep crying and having dreams about suicide.On top of it all, yesterday was my birthday. And I had to work. With him. ...Didn't even get a cake. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS ANY MORE. I miss being happy, and having friends, and not relying on alcohol to get to sleep, and eating, and working out, and having fun, and FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK everything and everyone right now, I'm getting it back. Time to respawn. I'm going to be spending the next few weeks before the next challenge preparing myself. For the last 2 weeks, I've actually been tracking all my food to make sure I eat enough. I'm really surprised I only took one day off when I got dumped, actually. I guess however much I love/d him, there was still a sliver of self-preservation in me. Which is weird because my diet is usually the first thing to suffer. Sorry guys, this is turning into a bit of a rant. I'm getting my life back. It's not going to be anything like the life I had, but it'll be mine all the same. Quote Level 9 Pixie I may not be the strongest, the fastest, or the bravest. But I'll be damned if I'm not trying my hardest. 17 STR ¦ 17 STA ¦ 13 CON ¦ 17 WIS ¦ 13 CHA ¦ 12 DEX Latest Challenge! , Battle Log! , CHARACTERYAY Link to comment
shaar Posted July 15, 2015 Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 Oh jeez, girl. You've had a hell of a time. I'm sorry your life turned into a whirlwind of destruction and yuck. But look at you committed to coming back strong and giving it another go!! That's a big first step to say, yeah, I need to make things better. The Rebellion's got your back no matter what. Welcome back, and good luck on crushing your next challenge! Here's to picking yourself up and feeling better and happier about everything. 1 Quote Tell me, if you had the strength to take another step, could you do it? Level ?? Bard & Monk of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted July 15, 2015 Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 Well,that sucked. Sorry you've been through the ringer, it's not fair. We're here for you, good on you for getting back on track. Channel that anger into determination to be healthy. 2 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
SomeGuyFromScotland Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 "Why do we fall? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up." You got this. I'll keep my eyes open for your next challenge and follow along. Quote ~~ VALHALLA, I AM COMING! ~~ Season 1 (2015): #0 #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 Season 2 (2016): #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 Season 3 (2017): #16 #17 #18 Link to comment
basscrack Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 I hear you, depression really can suck the life out of you. Good on you for wanting to get back up and brush the dust off. I'm struggling with a lot of that myself right now too, so if you want an accountabilibuddy, feel free to PM me. Sometimes it helps just to have other people keeping you on track. We can struggle together, haha. Sometimes it helps me to have someone else's problems to focus on. Like I need to make myself stronger to help other people through their hard times, then my problems don't seem so big. So whether it is someone on NF or someone close to you, find someone you can help who can help you too. Quote Lvl. 2 Ranger Assassin Shapeshifter STR - 3 | DEX - 3 | STA - 7 | CON - 4 | WIS - 4 | CHA - 4 Current Challenge: Breaking Chains(Really) Old Challenges 1 | 2 | 3 Link to comment
PixieKitten Posted July 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2015 Thanmk you so much guys! I've definitely given myself something to cheer myself up.. yesterday I booked two tickets to Disneyland Paris! Now when it gets tough at work, I can just think 'It's gonna be ok...You're going to Disneyland!'I'm a massive Disney fan so this is awesome. And now I have more motivation to work to earn that £900 back I've Just got my new passport so if ever I feel like I need to get away for a bit, it's finally a possibility! 2 Quote Level 9 Pixie I may not be the strongest, the fastest, or the bravest. But I'll be damned if I'm not trying my hardest. 17 STR ¦ 17 STA ¦ 13 CON ¦ 17 WIS ¦ 13 CHA ¦ 12 DEX Latest Challenge! , Battle Log! , CHARACTERYAY Link to comment
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