A bumpy road to health

[Ayla14]

Oh boy.

 

This is at least the 5th time this year that I tried to reboot and get healthy and I seem to crash out faster each time.

 

This year has been hard and I have seen the full blown return of a pretty bad negative attitude and depression I haven't had since high school.  After my senior year in high school I had worked very hard to improve my attitude and perspective on life and I was really proud of myself.  There would be tiny little bouts of it but I would be able to handle it.  Than 2015 rolled in and I found myself just crumbling. I got a boyfriend who is quite honestly the love of my life at the tail end of 2014.  January rolls in and 2015 took no prisoners. Boyfriend decides to move in with parents to save money for apartment, tells landlord that he will give him the month as promised. Week later Landlord gets into argument with boyfriend and boyfriend immediatley moves out. (The argument was over grains of sugar on the counter by the way it was ridiculious.) Parents are of course overwhelmed but take him in. Boyfriend than owes lots of money for fixing up his car to his parents. 

 

In February boyfriend ends up in the hospital and I am emotional incompassetated for a whole week even though he recovered quickly and he stated that it wasn't a big deal.  His car has still not been fixed and driveable because of the constant snowstorms and its causing tension with his parents.  I also had to quit my job because a manager was making my life a living hell at the time. In retrospect I should not have quit because I have learned the hard lesson that this economy has taught many. Jobs are hard to come by.

 

In March and April boyfriend and I have a hard time and our relationship takes a pretty bad hit and the subsequent months are spent trying to recover.

 

In May, relationship is still recovering. Still no results on the job hunt other than a couple interviews that I don't hear back from till this month.  June and July I have been constantly sick, from a cold to a tonsil infection which lead to an allergic reaction to medicine and than a yeast infection. I have finally recoverd from all of it.  Apart from that I have found myself being more angry and sad than anything else and taking it out on boyfriend and family even though they are only trying to help me to be more positive.

 

With all this going on I should be writing but I the wheels of creativity have just not been turning at all. I blame stress on that.  With all this going on or from all that has happened getting healthy has just gone downhill.  My first go around I lasted two months and was making great progress and lost 10lbs. The last few attempts at exercising has been derailed as well because of constant upset muscles and tension headaches.  I am seeing people to get that all taken care off.  Walking for now till I can get back into what I want to do.

 

It's just how can you try to eat healthy and avoid the vices when your family continues to buy the junk food and essentially hounds you every time you eat?  I am very weak willed around certain foods and right now it is all present and I have politely asked my family if we could once again cut back on them. The only ever say this "If you eat it, it's going to be your fault." Essentially we will buy what we want and you are on your own.  Which is real world thinking but I just wish they were willing to help.

 

I just felt like writing out to the community about what I have felt like recently and what I am trying to do to get going albeit slowly again on the road to good health.

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Welcome back. You've got a lot going on right now. Focusing on your own well being is going to be tough, and may I suggest that your physical well-being is not as important as your emotional well-being. Certainly, working out can make you feel better emotionally, but you've had a lot of setbacks and need to heal. 

[Ojuntapu]

Sounds like it's going to be hard to focus on losing weight or building lots of muscle/getting toned. Maybe it would be good to focus on self care activities.  When things are tough a short walk will often get my blood going, help me destress and get more relaxed. As simple as walking is its also surprisingly effective as keeping you healthy, too. I've found it's a good foundation in itself, both mentally and physically.