A Conflicted Novice

[Ferrass]

Hello!

I'm a long-time Nerd Fitness reader, and a first-time Forum Joiner! I picked up weigh-lifting again in September (hadn't done that since high school), and found Nerd Fitness maybe a month after that. I'm a lifter-swimmer-runner-martial artist, with varying degrees of competence in those four sports. Well, really, I'm average to good in everything except running, in which I am horrible. I have the honour of placing last in every 2001 cross country running meet hosted in my county (back in junior high). But I started training my running again in 2009, because my martial arts school wasn't going to give me my black belt unless I could run 2.4km in 12 minutes or less.

I'd love to be able to tell you my goals, but the truth is I'm pretty conflicted about them right now. I love lifting (I've always been better at "strength" sports, really), but I keep getting minor flak about my weight and such. The boyfriend is the major source. He's not trying to be an ass, it's just that the eat-horribly-and-run-full-marathons plan is working for him. He's consistently been losing weight since we started dating five years back, and doubly so since he took up running with me, really. Now he's down nearly 80lbs. It works for him. But the long distance running isn't something I really like. I've learned while training for three half-marathons that after about an hour, running really stops being fun for me. He's tried to cajole me into running a full marathon with him (his 2nd, my first), and I've refused. His training runs took him 3 hours. I am muuuch slower, and I would spend nearly five hours out running. That is no fun, in my mind, at all. He's also quite proud of his progress, and will announce, "Oh hey! I'm only 205lbs (or some such), now! How are you doing?" Which kinda puts me on the spot, sometimes, to answer about what I weigh.

So I feel like in weightlifting (based on the information I've gathered) I can either "bulk up" (meaning that I'm eating a calorie surplus to try and make strength gains), and have to explain that, no I didn't lose any weight this week, and yes, I'm okay with that. Or I can try to "cut", and just not make any new gains lifting. I'm not certain how true that is, but most of the information sources I've run across tell me that unless I'm eating a calorie surplus, I will not build new muscle, and will not get stronger.

The current workout game-plan is, for now, just to do what I love. I love weightlifting, and I love swimming. I haven't given up on running, but it do draw the line at about an hour's worth these days. I'd gotten a little hooked on seeing the lovely strength gains I've been getting in the gym. (which is why I find the idea of having to 'cut' and thus making no gains a little depressing)

Eating Habits:

I'm tracking what I eat religiously for now. But on par with my indecision about about what my goals should actually be, I'm not sure what exactly, I should be eating. For the time being, I've decided to set my calorie intake around 1925-2000, which SHOULD be close to what I burn on a completely sedentary day. Normally, I walk everywhere (I live in a good neighbourhood for that), and I'm lifting, running or swimming 4-5 days a week. In theory, I'm hoping that with my higher protein intake (I aim for 100g a day, preferably 120), this combo will mean I'll lose weight somewhat slowly, but that it should be nearly all fat, and hopefully I'll at least be able to make little strength increases while doing it. It hasn't been long enough to say if that's really been working or not, though. I've been doing it about 2 weeks.

I'm not really a paleo eater at the moment, but I've become concious of the principles at least (via the wide, wide world of blogs) over the past month or so, and I've made an effort in the same 2 weeks to limit my intake starch-y, grain-y things. Swapping out a breakfast sandwich in the name of an omlette and the like.

Lift Records:

(I'm somewhat timid still, and haven't tested my 1RMs yet, mostly because I have no spotter at the gym, and really dread/fear the idea of getting injured when I'm just getting started. )

Squat 125lbs x 5

Deadlift 125lbs x 5

Bench 75lbs x 8

Body Stats

5'7"

183lbs

about 34% bodyfat (measured by impedance, may be off)

A Pressing Question (haha! Punny!)

I was reading the Nerd Fitness Blog a good while back and Spezzy was the featured transformation. While reading the comments, something struck me. There was a comment by Viking that kinda resonated about wanting to lift, but not really wanting to fast down to the "appropriate" size first. The response was:

"You totally dont HAVE to lose the weight first - I wish I had started strength when I started exercising instead of wasting hours and hours running/elliptical."

So the question that's been burning in my brain is this, Spezzy (and others! join in too!), if you could hurl a note into a time machine for your past self, what WOULD you have told yourself to do?

[ETFnerd]

Welcome to the chateau du nerd...

[aj_rock]

My god, if I'd started lifting properly when I first picked up a weight at the tender age of 14, I'd probably be miles ahead of where I am now.

7 years training, maybe 1 1/2 actually effective. A lot of spinning of the wheels. I wish I could get that time back

Definitely would have told myself to drop the weight first. Eat healthy, tell ma n pa my goals, and don't fret the weight lifting (I definitely over-trained in highschool)

[ETFnerd]

If I had saved every penny I ever got, I would have missed a lot of enjoyable experiences and I wouldn't have had the satisfaction of helping others when I could. Also I can't undo what I've done, so I look fwd to leading a balanced life that is rich in many things other than fitness. Maybe not what you were expecting, but building a perfect plan is useless and futile because things change, and uncertainty cannot be fully accounted for a priori.

[ebm1224]

first off, welcome aboard. secondly, your boyfriend is being an ass. you sort of played it off in your post, but, if my bf was acting like yours is, i'd be really angry and hurt. as it is me and sweetie are about to start working out at the same gym and, for now, we'll be going at least some of the same days. i already feel myself getting competitive but i have ot keep reminding myself that's stupid...we are different people with different experiences and different goals. the only goals that really should matter are that we are getting healthy, in part, so that we can be together and living full lives for a long time to come. perhaps that was a bit of a detour or a bit of an overshare (i tend to do that) but maybe i'm picking up on something? if i'm reading too much into it, my bad but i can't imagine him saying and doing things like that make you feel good.

[ETFnerd]

me and sweetie

This sounds very southern...

[ETFnerd]

The current workout game-plan is, for now, just to do what I love.

Good for you. I love this attitude.

[scott82962]

My wife is very competitive, whereas I am very achievement oriented. She is motivated by the runner in front of her - she will catch her/him - and she WILL place in her age group. I know how much I lifted "last time" and work to lift more this time. We tease each other, sure, but the support for each other is never in doubt.

btw - don't worry about "bulking up". It won't happen by accident. People who gain significant weight through lifting and diet do it on purpose. If you throw yourself into a healthy routine your shape will likely change, but I wouldn't worry about getting too big.

[jessie75]

First of all Welcome!!!

2ndly Awesome finding something that you love doing just for the sake of doing it!! And BONUS its good for you!!

3rd: maybe you should point out to your bf a an interesting fact... weight is just a function of gravity. People get soooo stuck on a number. Tell him you aren't trying to lose weight you are out to lose body fat and gain muscle so the number on the scale has no bearing on your life at the moment. And being that you are losing body fat you can't measure that every day or even every week, but he will be happy to know that you are lifting greater weights than the week before. He should have respect for your goals and be happy to support you in it just like you support him. Sometimes boys forget that as a couple one of the things that makes it work out is that you guys have differing goals and interests. He can spend 5 hrs on his training run, you can do your hour, have a swim, hit the gym to lift heavy things, and still have time left for other things you enjoy, and be waiting for him when he gets back

[Guest Carjack]

So I feel like in weightlifting (based on the information I've gathered) I can either "bulk up" (meaning that I'm eating a calorie surplus to try and make strength gains), and have to explain that, no I didn't lose any weight this week, and yes, I'm okay with that. Or I can try to "cut", and just not make any new gains lifting. I'm not certain how true that is, but most of the information sources I've run across tell me that unless I'm eating a calorie surplus, I will not build new muscle, and will not get stronger.

Good news: It's all bull dung spread by weak people.

You can get stronger while losing fat, especially as a beginner with too much fat. A jacked Olympic lifter with abs showing might not be able to pull it off, but you can.

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAku98bpQjM

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=1otCMxeAfdI

This is the ultimate fat loss system.

[bigm141414]

'm not certain how true that is, but most of the information sources I've run across tell me that unless I'm eating a calorie surplus, I will not build new muscle, and will not get stronger.

It is true in the context of building muscle. When undergoing weight loss you burn a mix of fat and muscle. Strength training keeps the muscle lose to the single digits area instead of double digits with just running/diet. Anyways, it is completely untrue that you can't get stronger and still lose weight. I think anyone on the forums can tell you this is untrue. I've lost 65lbs and can now lift more than I ever did. I went from 3000 calories a day to 1700 and my weight lifting went up from nothing to lots. Because I was actually lifting.

Like Carjack said, that info is bull, and really only applies to people who want to get bigger looking muscles, and not get fit.

[Sloth the Enduring]

So the question that's been burning in my brain is this, Spezzy (and others! join in too!), if you could hurl a note into a time machine for your past self, what WOULD you have told yourself to do?

Welcome Shiami. I would tell myself to stop being a jack ass, but that isn't fitness related.

[Guest Carjack]

It is true in the context of building muscle. When undergoing weight loss you burn a mix of fat and muscle. Strength training keeps the muscle lose to the single digits area instead of double digits with just running/diet. Anyways, it is completely untrue that you can't get stronger and still lose weight. I think anyone on the forums can tell you this is untrue. I've lost 65lbs and can now lift more than I ever did. I went from 3000 calories a day to 1700 and my weight lifting went up from nothing to lots. Because I was actually lifting.

Like Carjack said, that info is bull, and really only applies to people who want to get bigger looking muscles, and not get fit.

Increasing muscle mass without putting on significant fat lowers body fat percentage as a consequence.

Bulking and cutting fat are just calorie cycling over a long period.

So you could just cycle calories over short periods (chaos and pain blog's diet) and get favorable body composition results. But that won't stop everyone on the internet from getting fat just to put on negligible muscle mass.

[Ryan Sannar]

Try running interval sprints. They burn fat like crazy throwing your metabolism all over the place. Plus they take less time and help with your explosive fast twitch muscle fibers which in turn should help with weight lifting.

His goals are not your goals. Stop loosing focus, go for your goals not his.