I think I went to college too soon

[Leego]

I'm just not enjoying college so far. Almost the entire time I've been in college, I've hated it. I've only enjoyed certain times in college, and the only semester that I ever really loved was the first Freshman semester, and that's because everything was so new, and shiny, and I was thrilled to meet new people.

 

Now it just feels like a chore or grind, and like everyone moves too fast for me to ever have a meaningful connection with them. Especially since I go to a commuter school, in one of the most dangerous cities in the country, which is another reason why I hate it here.

 

Right now, I'm trying to decide whether if I want to stay with Earth Science and join the military afterwards, stay with Engineering Technology and possibly join the military afterwards, or quit after this current school year and enlist, or try going to college while in the military.

 

It seems like all the things I want to do in life, like seeing the world, helping others directly or in-directly (like doing rescue work), learning how to take care of myself, how to defend myself and others, how to save others, how to build, repair, and drive/pilot vehicles and drones, and so on, are either not easily done in civilian life, or are expensive, or the pay-off isn't good. To do rescue work outside of the Coast Guard, I would probably be an EMT or firefighter, which from what I hear, isn't a very good-paying career path, and not worth leaving college for. To travel, I would have to pay to do so.

 

Besides that, I just want to pursue my other goals and hobbies. Like parkour and martial arts, learning how to play the harmonica, piloting drones and taking photographs (or at least until they're outlawed). But those are just hobbies, and I'm still not entirely sure what I would be doing as an Engineer Technologist. I would assume more work with things like wiring and robotics, if I went down the Electrical Engineer path.

 

If I stick with Earth Science, I may get to do more surveying work that involves more interaction with people, and surveying and examining certain wild locations, as well as potentially make good money from working with GIS systems, which is what I'm more interested in, and it would let me graduate sooner. The only problem with it, is that I have to learn how to speak another language.

 

Now, I think it is important and very useful for any being to learn another language. It's just, I really, really don't enjoy learning how to speak Spanish. To me, it's too similar to English. Some words are just like the English version, some are swapped all around and are spelled completely different. Also, I still can't roll my R's. But everyone said "Spanish is the best language for business", they said. "It's the easiest language to learn", they said.

 

It's fairly uninteresting to me, and very difficult for me to learn, and it doesn't help that I took a year off from Spanish because I was major-hopping, and learning a secondary language is a requirement for Earth Science, but not for Engineering Technology. Everyone tells me it's best to stick with the language I started learning, but I'd rather learn French or something. At least with French, there are other pronunciations I can handle (correct me if I'm wrong), and I can practice by watching an anime I really wanted to watch called Wakfu.

 

I'd even rather learn Japanese or Arabic. From what I've heard, Japanese and Chinese, although quite different, are more systematic than English or Spanish. Also, they look like an alien language to me. Yes, that makes them a fuck-ton harder to learn, but at least it's interesting. Like learning some language from an ancient alien civilization. Plus, there's plenty of animes and mangas I can read that use Japanese. Virtually all of them. Hell, I'd LOVE to practice learning how to speak and read another language by watching and reading something I already love. I can't easily think of anything I would want to, or can, watch in Spanish, unless I try to watch some Spanish dubbing of some show, which is kind of hard without a TV. Hell, I'd say I recognize more Japanese phrases when I hear them than Spanish phrases.

 

I can even learn another language and graduate on time, if I can take a course over the summer, although that's a fair-sized IF.

 

Besides that, everything is OK, it's just I have no interest in most of my courses this semester, and I almost feel like putting no effort into Spanish. The only courses I'm really interested in, are one of my Earth Science classes that have to do with natural events and how they affect people, and a First Aid and CPR class that I chose to take because I felt it was something I needed to know for my own sake and others.

 

I think if I just find some way to keep myself occupied, and once I've gotten a handle on or drop Spanish, I'll be alright for this semester, at least. But I don't want to just be "alright" and make it through each semester. I want to be great. I've been working on some personal issues and trying to figure out why I don't feel motivated to do anything (other than work on my fitness, play games, do CPR, and learn how to fly drones, and learn how to fight) since my second Freshman semester, but I haven't had much success. Some suggested that it might be depression, so I took anti-depressants, but then my dad tried talking me out of using them, and then someone told me that it wasn't depression. Then someone told me it might be ADHD, but I haven't been able to get tested for it because I didn't think I could afford it, until recently. So I'm gonna get tested for it ASAP.

 

I've grown and matured in many ways, and have gotten more control over my social anxiety (mainly by not caring about others and what they think nearly as much), and I actually do have an idea of what I want to do in life, but I still don't feel like doing this school business.

 

That's why I think I went to college too soon. My family's poor, I was eager to get out of my parents' house, I didn't think it was possible to travel or join the Peace Corps or something for a few years before going. The college I'm attending doesn't teach me all the things I'm interested in, and I'd rather go to trade school, but I'm here now, and if I continue down the Earth Science path, I'll graduate in two academic years, if I get no Fs or Ds, and my language classes go OK. It's tempting to drop out and join the military, but that won't impress the Coast Guard, I need time to get in shape, and if I decide I don't want to join, I need something to fall back on.

 

OK, rants over. I just needed some time and space to write my thoughts out and organize them. I think I know what I have to do now.

[SpecialSundae]

Just to be clear, what are you looking for out of college? 

[Leego]

Right now, all I'm looking for out of college is an education in Geology or Geography so I can get a decent job, and to work, volunteer, and make connections so that my resume looks more impressive, and so that I may have more people to back me up in the future.

 

When I first came to college, I almost want to tell myself I wanted to learn about engineering things, but I mostly was just looking to get away from home and experience a teenhood I missed out on, for the most part. I distinctly remember someone telling me I need to take some time off and do something else for awhile before going to college due to being homeschooled, but I was so eager to get out and afraid of missing out on anything else, that I went anyways.

 

At the time, I didn't know of any other thing to do in life: I wasn't that interested in being a firefighter at the time. I still believed the military was a bad idea. I assumed that travelling would be impossible because it would be too expensive, and I wouldn't even know what to do on my own in a foreign land anyways.

[jfreaksho]

So I'm guessing you are 18-20 and never really been away from home.  You picked a major based on things you learned as a teenager and how much you thought you'd like it, without really having a good understanding of what it takes or what the end result would be.  You've probably eliminated some majors that you might even prefer because you know that the job market for those things is just not very good.  Depending on how you were taught prior to college, you could have done very well (and be very smart) without truly understanding how to work hard and study effectively, leading to the possibility that you are getting grades far worse than you think you are capable of and making you question what you are doing there.  You don't know what you want to do, you just know you haven't found it yet.

 

How close am I?

 

Everything I wrote is what I went through when I was 18-20.  As far as I can tell, this is fairly normal.  I didn't really feel like I had a good understanding of what I wanted to do until I was 23 and randomly took a Chinese class.  Suddenly I realized that I could enjoy going to class and that homework didn't have to suck the life out of me.  I learned how to study properly when I had a topic I enjoyed, rather than a box that needed to be checked.  At 35 years old, I'm working on a master's degree and finally feel like I have a decent handle on my 5-year plan.

 

My suggestion is to undeclare your major, and take classes that interest you.  Learn things because you want to.  Join clubs.  Take a phys ed class in rock climbing or scuba.  Take a semester abroad (preferably in a non-English-speaking country).  You'll find a major that you care about.  A college degree that you enjoyed getting, regardless of your major, is still better than the one you didn't finish because you just couldn't take it anymore.

 

It's scary trying to step away from the secure path to do something without a clearly-defined outcome, but it was totally worth it.  I learned about how humans make sounds, I took a class on the Palestine conflict from a professor who is known for his work on Northern Ireland (the Troubles, as it were).  I took a few months to go to Taiwan.  I took an Arabic class.  I did these things because I wanted to, and I enjoyed it (well, except for the Arabic).

 

That being said, I had some decent safety nets- my parents would have been able to take me back in had I needed it, and I was able to find a decent job and work part-time while finishing school. 

 

Also, I've done the military thing, and the language thing.  I highly recommend both, with full knowledge that not it's not for everyone (more qualifiers on the military thing than the language study).  If you have any questions, quote me here or send me a PM.

 

*Edit* This commercial just came on TV and seemed appropriate.  Go explore.  Get lost.  Find yourself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjd7dildbi8

[Leego]

Disturbingly close.

 

I'm not sure if I can convince myself to declare undecided again, although I suppose that's basically what I am. Still, It's tempting to just do my own thing. I really want to just leave this place behind for at least a year. I'm close to getting a degree in Journalism, funny enough, and I really enjoyed journalist work, but I see it more as something I would do on my free time on the side, as a Freelance Journalist, and I'm still not convinced that it's something I can live off of.

 

It's real temping to just take some classes that are interesting to me next semester, get into shape, and see if I can just take a break and join the Coast Guard next summer: Something I am very interested in and passionate about.

[jfreaksho]

Disturbingly close.

 

I'm not sure if I can convince myself to declare undecided again, although I suppose that's basically what I am. Still, It's tempting to just do my own thing. I really want to just leave this place behind for at least a year. I'm close to getting a degree in Journalism, funny enough, and I really enjoyed journalist work, but I see it more as something I would do on my free time on the side, as a Freelance Journalist, and I'm still not convinced that it's something I can live off of.

 

It's real temping to just take some classes that are interesting to me next semester, get into shape, and see if I can just take a break and join the Coast Guard next summer: Something I am very interested in and passionate about.

I don't know about the USCG, but most branches of the military have a Delayed Entry Program, where you sign your contract but don't ship out for some months.  Signing the paperwork and committing to it might be a motivator, especially when you have a hard deadline for your ship date.

[Leego]

I talked to a Coast Guard recruiter, an Air Force recruiter, and a Marines recruiter, and they all said the same thing: Everything about me sounds great except for my weight.

 

The Coast Guard recruiter told me it is a good idea to finish up my degree and graduate first, but didn't want me to enlist and enter the Delayed Entry Program yet because I might be in the middle of a semester when they decide to ship me off. They have some college program, but I think he said either I didn't qualify for the Officer college program, or it's too late in the game for it to do me any good.

 

The Air Force guy just sort of sent me on my way, but then again, they have an ROTC group on campus, and I could always sign up for their bootcamp course next semester.

 

The Marines guy said that they host group fitness classes somewhere in the city that I stay in, but I don't have a consistent way of getting to them with me having no car. He said he would text me the details of it...he never did.

[Macha]

Have you checked the information on the CG site directly? www.gocoastguard.com There are officer paths that would be available to you once you finished your degree. But if you want to be in the thick of things for SAR (search and rescue) you're probably going to want to go enlisted, anyway. 

 

Don't forget that the CG isn't just SAR. It's also drug enforcement, marine/environmental protection, fisheries enforcement, climbing up buoys covered in dead fish and bird crap, and a whole lot of other less-glamorous jobs that are still hugely important to marine safety.

 

If you seriously think you want to enlist, I think you should look at it hard for right now. CG tends to be feast or famine when it comes to enlistment, and right now it's wide open. In a couple years, we could be completely restricted again. My boot camp class was only 25 people, and now they're back up to 100+ folks a week. Anyway, if you're interested in more CG info, feel free to ask me or PM me!

[Leego]

Thank you, Macha! It's really tempting to just enlist next summer, but I have to first work on losing weight over the next several months, and that's not including possibly having to get surgery for any knee issue I may have IF I have to have surgery. I'd say, if I can't get down to 168 lbs by fall of next year, I'll just finish up some degree and try to go for an officer position.