I was vegan for 13 years years and all I got was this lousy fat body

[catsrgods]

Without writing my entire life story in this intro, I will just say that I am 33 years old, female and I became a vegetarian when I was approx. 16 years old and went vegan soon after at just 19. I went from being a stocky, but proper weight, person to very overweight in a matter of months when I went vegan. However, since I was under the spell of my supposed ethics and misinformation about a healthy diet I continued to be vegan.

Frustrated with my weight after only a few months as a vegan (I gained enough weight in a couple months that my clothes did not fit), I dieted. I tried cutting calories. I tried changing my diet to a macrobiotic one. I tried raw food. I tried protein shakes. I tried low-fat diets. I tried going to the gym and doing lots of cardio 4-5 days a week. I skipped breakfast. I skipped lunch. I fasted. I tried cleanses and smoothies and water and just kept hoping that something would work. I have spent THOUSANDS of dollars on every vegetarian/ vegan cook book and diet book (China Study, SkinnyBitch, Dr. Dean Ornish stuff, Neal Nernard, Gabriel Cousens, David Wolfe, books on juice diets and raw food and even "low-carb" vegan books) out there hoping for inspiration or something that would help me "do veganism right." I've paid personal trainers. I've started and restarted so many fucking times that there have been thousands of times I just wanted to give up and say, "Fuck it. Just accept that you are going to be chubby or fat for the rest of your life. It's just how it is. We can't all be beautiful." All this time I would see other vegan girls who were petite and I figured that it was just my destiny to be fat and I should blame myself for not doing veganism correctly or my parents for giving me the genes I had.

Then one of my closest friends stopped being vegan. He lost weight and went from being a big chubby vegan to a handsome, muscley (though still in the process, of course) meat eating dude. I confessed that I was at my wits end and his suggestion: the paleo diet.

I stopped being vegan and vegetarian after a trip to Germany and Italy in Dec. 2010 and have never looked back. I admit that I have not been following a paleo diet (after NOT eating meat and dairy for so many years I wanted to eat whatever I wanted for a bit. It's been fun, but I'm over it) but I have toyed with it and am not accustomed to eating all sorts of meats and foods I never ate before.

I am now ready to get real fucking serious. I am at a point in my life where I am not long so young and the choices I have made in the past, and the ones I am making now, will directly affect the course of my life. I am ready to commit to a paleo diet, regular exercise and a completely different attitude towards weight loss and how it can be achieved. Yesterday I walked past a mirror and wanted to cry because of how I look right now. I was feeling awful and then I got an email from Nerd Fitness about how not to suck at life. It was just what I needed. I joined the site yesterday and am committed to my first 6 week challenge. Yay!

Other things about me: After years of being vegan I ate roasted chicken hearts and they were fucking delicious. I have a BA in Art History and Classical Civilizations. I am currently pursuing a Master's degree in Art History with the intention of continuing on to a PhD program in 2013 (my specialization is ancient Roman art, in case you care.) I'm a cat person, but I love dogs, especially pit bulls. I'm a widow and single mom. I am a docent at a large museum in Los Angeles and I do volunteer work with cats. I listen to hardcore, metal and some hip-hop and I have been known to like booty bass with no shame. I never liked donuts. I love writing handwritten letters. I love road trips, winding roads, San Francisco, properly made lattes, and independent book stores.

WHEW! Sorry for the novella. I hope to meet some interesting folks on here for mutual support!

-Christina

[Loren Wade]

Wow! I love the intro. I usually have a rough time reading long intros... but I couldn't help it. I love your story. I live with vegetarians/vegans, so as a paleo-ite, I can relate to your story. I have been vegetarian and vegan, done the cardio thing, low carb thing, etc. and none of it worked.

Paleo. Boom. Weight lost. Strength gained.

Anyway, is that your plan? Are you going paleo?

Also, what are you doing for exercise these days?

We're glad to have you. Welcome to the REBELLION.

[scarletleavy]

Hello and welcome!

I can definitely relate to your story, been there and done that. I was a vegetarian for a few years and vegan for 6 months, until my health deteriorated enough that I had to start eating meat again. I had gained weight, I was bloated, miserable, moody, etc. It took me a few months to fully transition to Paleo, mainly because I wasn't used to eating meat, the taste and texture mainly. I'm fully Paleo now, doing strength training and some Yoga, happier and healthier than ever.

I'm sure you'll find a lot of support around here in reaching all of your goals. I can't wait to read about your challenge.

And p.s love Art History. I've always thought it would be really cool to work at an art museum.

[ETFnerd]

welcome to the nerd museum... i was also an art history lover (northern renaissance) and would have pursued it if I didn't feel compelled to make a living... such is life. Glad to see you here (and in the blogs) and best of luck in getting what you want...

[The Shogun]

Welcome to the rebellion!

I felt the same as Loren with the intro, I saw it was long and I almost went to another post but then I started reading and loved it! Specially the art history and the fact that you have educated yourself. Those are great ways to have a healthy lifestyle but not every one of them works for everybody, let's hope that Paleo is really what works for you.

I'm curious on how such a educated person is going to train. Let me know when you start your workout log!.

[dpasion]

Welcome!

[ebm1224]

wow...your story really breaks my heart because i feel like my sister and you have alot in common. she's 23 and has been vegetarian (for ethical reasons though she was never a meat lover) for something like 8 years now. and i'm at the point where i'm worried about her health. i got her a gym pass for 2 months for the holidays which she is using and plans to keep with after the 2 months trial but i'm beginning to worry that if she doesn't start eating meat again her health is going to deteriorate even further.... ok, i'll stop there but just say that most everything in your post (from your love of cats to handwriting) reminds me of her...and i'm so glad you're here. i'm not a diet hard paleo-er at this point (only 3 days in to giving it a try) but i think that, while the way we treat animals in order to eat them is horrible...we need to eat them to thrive.

ok, sorry for the rant. welcome - glad you're here!

[catsrgods]

I know, it was long winded, my apologies. I hadn't meant for it to be that way BUT I felt the whole vegan thing was important and I wanted to convey exactly where I am coming from. I'm not the usual sedentary, junk food eating, tv watcher that was fit when there were young and then got fat. I got fat when I was TRYING to be healthy. Weird. And stupid. I know I hung on to veganism for so long because it became a part of my identity. Not many people can make the same claim when it comes to changing their diets =) I mean, is soda hard to give up because you're identity is based on soda? When you are vegan or vegetarian it's a part of "who" you are. Don't get me wrong, I'm the same person, I just have a different view on the food chain and where I belong in it.

As far as exercise goes, I have a membership at my local Crossfit gym and I enjoy it. I have had it for awhile but I have been inconsistent. I went yesterday, which explains why it was awful to get out of bed this morning, and I plan to go tomorrow if my soreness allows. Any other exercise suggestions are welcome.

Diet wise, yes, paleo. Just like with vegetarianism/veganism, I have read a lot. I have pretty much every major paleo style book out there and have most of what I've bought. I am currently re-reading Paleo Solution because I joined a 5 week program on paleo nutrition at my Crossfit gym that starts tonight. I am supposed to read the first 3 chapters for today to prepare. So yeah, I am ok with eating meat, ok with not eating sugar, ok with kicking stupid, delicious bread to the curb. Some sacrifices are worth it.

ART HISTORY! I am SO glad a few people have a similar interest! As far as jobs go, they are out there. You just have to have those advanced degrees to get them Fortunately for me I live near the richest, and best, sources for art: The Getty Museums. I am a docent at the Getty Villa in Malibu (google it, it's beautiful) and I plan on working my way into a job in their research department at some point. I'm def a huge nerd when it comes to the Romans and their art. I am also fascinated with their food...I'd like to try and make some authentic Roman food (and you thought YOU were a nerd, sheesh!)

THANKS for reading my long winded-ness. I have NO ONE else to talk about weight loss, paleo eating or Crossfit to in my house or immediate group of friends (my sister is STICK thin, 90 percent of my friends are vegan, and no one I know in this area wants to work out really hard). This will be a great outlet for me.

[catsrgods]

wow...your story really breaks my heart because i feel like my sister and you have alot in common. she's 23 and has been vegetarian (for ethical reasons though she was never a meat lover) for something like 8 years now."..."but i think that, while the way we treat animals in order to eat them is horrible...we need to eat them to thrive."

I empathize with your sister. I went vegetarian, at first, for purely ethical reasons. I have a soft spot for innocent things and animals absolutely fall into this category. A website that really changed my thinking is www.letthemeatmeat.com which is written by an ex-vegan. He interviews ex-vegans and talks a lot about ethics and how most arguments against eating animals for food just don't hold up. However, I still am conscious about my meat and dairy choices. Modern factory farms are disgusting and I am against them. I shop as often as I can at a famer's market for eggs and I buy meat, when I can, from free-range, small farm sources. Of course I am not perfect. I still buy discounted meat at Ralph's regularly because I can afford it and it's available.

I figure that I can live with some animals "taking one for the team" because, shit, I've been doing that for them for years. I hope you're sister uses her gym pass and at least cuts some of the carbs out of her diet. She can eat eggs if shes just vegetarian and, frankly, I love eggs and they are a main source of my protein. Thanks for the support!!!

[Guest guest4729]

What a compelling and awesome intro. I don't know HOW vegans do it - I really don't. Giving up breads and pastas and rice for paleo have been hard for me but MEAT? And all meat by-products? Might as well just take my stomach! Haha.

Glad to see that you've basically "seen the light" and are now changing your ways and your diet to suit YOU. While being vegan or vegetarian might (sorta) work for others it seems like it doesn't quite work with your body. I wish you the best of luck in finding the perfect diet for you and finding the perfect exercise routine for you.

One thing to keep in mind is do NOT overdo it at the gym right off the bat. I try to avoid going to the gym two days in a row because I want to give my muscles that time to relax, repair and do their thing before I jump in and work them more until they're so sore I can't lift them. Perhaps you can find a yummy protein shake for after work outs. I started drinking mine with milk but in order to eat more Paleo I switched to Coconut Milk - not bad, not bad. It's great to help rebuild your muscles if you're not getting enough protein in your diet.

[catsrgods]

What a compelling and awesome intro. I don't know HOW vegans do it - I really don't. Giving up breads and pastas and rice for paleo have been hard for me but MEAT? And all meat by-products? Might as well just take my stomach! Haha.

It was actually easy to go vegetarian AND vegan, but I think it's because I was literally surrounded by others on the same diet. I was involved with the animal rights movement so there was no shortage of pressure to stick to my guns. I always knew what to eat, where to eat out at, things like that. I am a decent cook so I knew how to substitute all kinds of things to make them work for my diet. But eating a vegan diet has not had a single health benefit for me. No matter how "clean" I ate, it didn't matter. I had blood work done while vegan and my cholesterol was very high and my blood sugar was in the high range. Sure, some of this could be genetic but I after reading more about our diet as we evolved as humans I started to realize that I was keeping ethics and beliefs that I had adopted when I was just a 16 yr old kid. I had to re-evaluate WHY, after all the health issues I was having, was I continuing to eat this way.

Also, REAL TALK: When I think about the ideal body that I would want and the mental clarity that I desire, I can honestly say that not a single one of my vegetarian or vegan friends and acquaintances had what I am looking for. The women are, let's be honest, either thin w/ little muscle or chubby and the men are the same way. I realized also that many of these so-called healthy eaters had a lot of mental issues, such as anxiety and depression, that I have been dealing with. Since switching to a relatively decent omnivore diet I have not taken a single pill for anxiety and am off all meds for it. I can't prove that these two things are related but I DO know that I am eating better fats and proteins than I have in YEARS.

Sorry I am SO long winded but I am really passionate about this topic! I am slightly angry at myself for allowing incorrect health info to completely dictate my life and cause serious damage to my health.

[Guest guest4729]

It was actually easy to go vegetarian AND vegan, but I think it's because I was literally surrounded by others on the same diet. I was involved with the animal rights movement so there was no shortage of pressure to stick to my guns. I always knew what to eat, where to eat out at, things like that. I am a decent cook so I knew how to substitute all kinds of things to make them work for my diet. But eating a vegan diet has not had a single health benefit for me. No matter how "clean" I ate, it didn't matter. I had blood work done while vegan and my cholesterol was very high and my blood sugar was in the high range. Sure, some of this could be genetic but I after reading more about our diet as we evolved as humans I started to realize that I was keeping ethics and beliefs that I had adopted when I was just a 16 yr old kid. I had to re-evaluate WHY, after all the health issues I was having, was I continuing to eat this way.

Also, REAL TALK: When I think about the ideal body that I would want and the mental clarity that I desire, I can honestly say that not a single one of my vegetarian or vegan friends and acquaintances had what I am looking for. The women are, let's be honest, either thin w/ little muscle or chubby and the men are the same way. I realized also that many of these so-called healthy eaters had a lot of mental issues, such as anxiety and depression, that I have been dealing with. Since switching to a relatively decent omnivore diet I have not taken a single pill for anxiety and am off all meds for it. I can't prove that these two things are related but I DO know that I am eating better fats and proteins than I have in YEARS.

Sorry I am SO long winded but I am really passionate about this topic! I am slightly angry at myself for allowing incorrect health info to completely dictate my life and cause serious damage to my health.

Well, things are different now! You can't go back and change your past, no matter how angry it makes you. Now it's time to do the right thing for you and your health! Take your past experiences, learn from them and move on accordingly. You not have a better idea of what you want so you should focus all of your energy on that. If you've got the willpower you'll be there in no time.

[catsrgods]

Thanks for all the support. The hardest thing is going to be telling all my long-time vegan and veg friends that I have, *gulp*, crossed over to the DARK SIDE. Seriously, people are going to be pissed. But, hopefully they will see the benefits and at the very least respect my decision.

[seraphsong]

Don't let them judge you. I'm a vegan myself, but I know better than to judge anyone else's diet choices. What works for one person, isn't necessarily going to work for another.

How upset do I get when people give me the nth degree about being vegan? Very. Therefore I choose not to give anyone grief over their dietary choices. Stay true to your motivations, and be the healthiest you that you can be.

Best of luck in your journey.

[oystergirl]

Welcome fellow cat worshipper and reformed vegan. I turned vegan years ago not for ethical reasons but because my holistic health counselor told me it would help me heal from chronic lyme disease. I probably should have known better because she literally was the size of a house thou a lovely person. I didn't understand my weight gain and went even more extreme from macrobiotic to raw vegan and finally serious health issues made me turn back to meat. I have since regained my health and immune function in a natural fashion and I eat a balance between pale/archevore/weston price type diet which is basically no gluten grains, small quantities of white rice/potato, no polyunsaturated seed oils or nuts (well, occasionally I have a few for flavor) and full fat raw dairy and grass fed meats. My family is healthy, we never get sick, haven't been to the doctor in years. I understand the need for a life path and to stand for something but it is sad for me that people stand for veganism because it is one of the most unhealthy things you can do to your body.

There is not ONE single historically vegan culture out there and even Jon Robbins, who is the poster child for vegetarianism and wrote the Diet for a New America was extremely surprised to find this out when he researched and wrote Healthy at 100 (he doesn't even promote this book, you have to look for it!)...healthy humans have lived for years eating meat when they could get their hands on it and supplemented it with starchy tubers, fruits and veg in season, fermented foods and dairy. Great info on the history of pale on Micheal Eades website and how they scientifically can tell what prehistoric man ate by analyzing the cartilage in fossilized bones.

Best of luck on your journey! As for your family and friends, do as I did. i told them I had to start eating meat for health reasons as prescribed by my doctor. How the hell can they argue with that?

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

A little late i know, but never to late to say welcome to nerd fitness!! I love this site, its turned my world around just like your discovery of the Paleo diet/eating meat again changed yours!

I've been vegetarian for about 8 years now. I'm starting to feel like you were in the sense where no matter how hard i work out i'm not going to have the body I could be able to if I started eating meat again. So to change this I'm planning on starting to eat meat again at the end of the month. As you probably know, its no little feat... I'm so mentally blocked out to meat its going to be very difficult, but your story helps me along

Looking forward to reading battle logs and blogs!! Welcome again!

[catsrgods]

Don't let them judge you. I'm a vegan myself, but I know better than to judge anyone else's diet choices. What works for one person, isn't necessarily going to work for another.

How upset do I get when people give me the nth degree about being vegan? Very. Therefore I choose not to give anyone grief over their dietary choices. Stay true to your motivations, and be the healthiest you that you can be.

Best of luck in your journey.

Thanks =) I know ALL about getting crap for being vegan! I try not to hassle anyone about what they eat. It's a personal choice and since I don't know everything *gasp* I have found that it is best to just shut up and let people do what they want to do.

[catsrgods]

Oystergirl, I totally have read John Robbins "Healthy at 100"! I have also, like you, read about the research done by Weston Price and I find it fascinating. It totally flies in the face of everything I thought to be true for so long. I have a few friends who are currently giving me shit for agreeing with Dr. Weston's conclusions, claiming that his organization has some other agenda. I don't see their agenda to be nearly as unnatural as many of the others supported by vegan groups, such as PETA. Regardless, I love the recipes in the cookbook "Nourishing Traditions" and I am trying to incorporate more traditional foods into my life. I already love to cook from scratch so it's a good book for me.

I have also read about the "archevore" style diet but didn't investigate it too much. I read that doctor's blog on occasion.

Thanks for the support =)

[catsrgods]

I've been vegetarian for about 8 years now. I'm starting to feel like you were in the sense where no matter how hard i work out i'm not going to have the body I could be able to if I started eating meat again.

I always thought, because people had made meat sound so toxic and unnatural, that if I ate meat again I would feel ill. Let me just tell you: that shit never happened. I have not had a single bout of stomach upset, diarrhea or other discomfort from eating meat. There have been a few times where I ate some kind of fast food meat and yeah I felt shitty but who wouldn't considering that stuff is more akin to wood pulp than real meat. I am still kind of grossed out by some seafood, but as far as meat and poultry goes I had no issues. I had to learn to boil an egg at the age of 32, that was humbling. But I think I can now make a pretty delicious roasted chicken, a far cry from the baked tofu slices I had lived on before.

Good luck with that transition!

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

I always thought, because people had made meat sound so toxic and unnatural, that if I ate meat again I would feel ill. Let me just tell you: that shit never happened.

That makes me feel a little better! All doctors told me I'd get "really sick and my body will reject the meat" when/if I started eating it again. One actually told me that it was too late to turn around again. This makes me feel better though because you made the transition after so long. Thank you so much!

[catsrgods]

That makes me feel a little better! All doctors told me I'd get "really sick and my body will reject the meat" when/if I started eating it again. One actually told me that it was too late to turn around again. This makes me feel better though because you made the transition after so long. Thank you so much!

No problem! Let me tell you, I hadn't eaten bacon since I was maybe 14 years old, or younger (I hadn't been a fan of bacon because it was always over cooked by my parents or restaurants. Now I know how to cook it right). The first time I ate it, at 33 years old, it was more delicious than ever. I never had a stomach issues, no diarrhea, no nothing...except for a really filling meal. I'm not saying that all vegetarians and vegans should eat meat, heavens no. People should do what they want. But do NOT let people frighten you with the whole "no turning back" shit. I mean if you are used to eating very little fat and you go and eat a fatty piece of meat, sure, you might get "the 'rrhea." But that can happen with a lot of food choices.

[spatzcat]

Christina, I also enjoy swearing and good lattes. I fucking love donuts though. Can't say I've had one in a looooooooong time. remember on your weight loss journey - refined sugars are EVIL.

[catsrgods]

Christina, I also enjoy swearing and good lattes. I fucking love donuts though. Can't say I've had one in a looooooooong time. remember on your weight loss journey - refined sugars are EVIL.

This may sound insane...but I fucking HATE donuts! Even the smell gives me a headache! I was always jealous of people who ate them, true story, because thy look cute and have all those sprinkles and stuff. But I can't eat them. People used to get all stoked on "vegan donuts" and I'd be like "fuck that, give me french fries or some soy ice cream." I know, I'm almost not-human for my dislike of donuts....it's kind of shameful.

I have been going on ad off sugar for awhile but this last time it "stuck." I have no cravings for sugar at all, not even in my lattes! I feel like this is a small, but significant, victory for me.