Just Keep Swimming...Swimming....Swimming... ((pos TW))

[MadameLucretia]

Alright, Where to begin?

 

I work 50 hours a week, at two jobs, an Asian Restaurant and a Deli. I'm supposed to be studying game design but I may have just failed because I didn't submit any work in the last month because I've had an increase in migraines and was told two weeks ago that we have to move by Jan 16th. 

 

I suffer Severe Depression, and am on Meds for it. I also suffer Anxiety. I've been going through a rough spot of late due to all the stress and am struggling to not shut down. 

 

I could sleep all day, quite literally. 

I am a nerd, I love books, video games, art and alternative culture. I am a goth. I have bodys mods and want to get more. 

I am determined to slowly (because I honestly cant handle much more.) change my routines, to eat healthier and exercise. I am going to be positive and happier. I am going to meditate and control my thoughts. I am going to be more productive, and not let myself drown.

[Raincloak]

If it helps, you don't specifically have to control your thoughts (especially to start with).  You can think about anything you like, but your brain will do some thinking without you, and that's okay.  The point is to be aware of your thoughts and remember not to take the negative ones too seriously.  That's where meditation comes in, cause you can listen to the chatter of your mind and just kind of go "huh, how interesting, maybe I will think about something else for a few minutes."  Don't make meditation / positive thinking a banesome to-do.  Make it a gift of a few minutes that you give yourself to chill.

 

It is possible that working 50 hours a week and studying is a bit too much for you, especially with illness and meds.  That is a lot on one plate.  You might want to dial back on work or school for the next month and focus on getting sufficient rest, preparing to move, and keeping your jobs or finding a better job.  

 

(I put the priorities in that order for a reason.  School can wait, but you need to rest because falling sick will slow down everything else, you need to prepare to move because homelessness is sucky, and work takes precedence over school IF you need that money to live on.)

 

meanwhile, speak to your instructor(s) and see if you can work out a schedule of bite-sized assignments to stay on track.  One thing I learned the hard way in school was that if you work with your instructors, ask for help, and show willingness to do your best, they'll work with you.  If you just quit showing up or submitting work, they'll fail you because that's all they can do.  You pay good money for their aid, and the fact is, they really care about  you and wanna see your face, so talk to them.  Go to office hours or send an email and set up a meeting.  You can do this.  Don't just curl up and avoid things or they will get worse.  You're a grown up, you got this.

[Kes]

One technique that sometimes helps when things get overwhelming is to write things down.

 

Have you seen this chart before?

 

 

 

Once things are sorted out, and you don't feel like you're having to hold them in your head all the time, sometimes the stress and anxiety can be eased a bit just by dint of not having to juggle remembering them. Also, you can try setting aside a particular time during the day when you can deal with or worry about these things, and when they pop into your mind at other points just remind yourself, "I have a particular time when I'm going to address this."

 

Humans are amazingly resilient, and you can do this.

 

But also, do you have any resources you can call on? Friends who are nearby who can help out? Even if you think you can't call somebody for something (like, "Hey, I'm having a really bad night and I need to talk to somebody" or "I need an extra pair of hands to help me move") you might sometimes be surprised at how often people are willing to help out. It may seem counter-intuitive, but asking for help often makes friendships stronger even than offering it does.

 

You will get through this.  One day at a time.