It's been a rough season.

[She-Hulk]

Hey, everyone.

 

Been a while, huh? So...

 

Things have been not so great for me lately. After hitting my goal of getting into remission and finally getting a job (WOO!) among other things, a lot of stuff happened.

 

I had been on Klonopin for a number of years. Too many for someone my age. I saw a new doctor and pleaded with him to help me get off of it. Enter: withdrawal. Mega. Awful.

 

Everything I have taught my body to love and want went right in the garbage along with my meds.

I began binge eating again, I haven't even looked at a weight in months, I'm eating junk food non-stop, not counting.

 

I even had a soda a few weeks ago.

(This is HUGE because I cut soda years and years ago).

Basically, I'm not doing well.

 

It really hit me last Tuesday. I'm seeing a new Rheumatologist and after a series of tests he's discovered that I might not just have RA. More blood tests are happening... but it's looking like Lupus. 

 

I'm sad, I'm scared, I'm frustrated, I'm exhausted.

 

The only thing I can think to do is jump in and take control again. Start over. Par down. Keep going. It's going to be hard. Definitely will be harder than last time... but I can do it.

 

So.

She-Hulk returns for the next challenge.

 

I'm thinking of wiping the slate clean. Starting at 1 again. Is that something I can do? I guess we'll see with the new rules. 

[Kes]

*hugs*

 

You'll get through this, too.  It may seem overwhelming right now, but give it a little bit and you'll get your feet back under you.

[DarK_RaideR]

Ouch. Still, it's good to have you back with us, Shulkie. I admire your tenacity

[She-Hulk]

*hugs*

 

You'll get through this, too.  It may seem overwhelming right now, but give it a little bit and you'll get your feet back under you.

 

Thanks. Just gotta power through.

 

Ouch. Still, it's good to have you back with us, Shulkie. I admire your tenacity

 

I am definitely tenacious. I'm steadily parring down on the sugars and increasing my protein intake this week. Hopefully things can get back into balance soon. Now I just need to find the energy to hit the gym. Oof. 

[fitnessgurl]

*hugs* You can do this.

[sylvanides]

I have a lot of respect for you sharing and reflecting on your challenges. (The biggest stumbling block for a lot of people is denial!) I think you've thought of a lot of good concrete and small steps you can take to work towards your goals. As others have said, it's taking and then encouraging yourself for taking the small steps that will lead you to your goals. I'll add to the encouragement too! You can do this!