Men ONLY please...

[Griffin III]

Its time to man up and go on living life, or you're just going to continuously think about it. Can't let some girl get you this down. Completely agree with Razor. It sucks that I'm new and this is my first impression of you.

[azsf]

how is anyone supposed to cope with this?

Just remember

Get angry, hate everyone. Cry your eyes out and punch walls. Write songs, smash out heavy sets, get blind drunk and stumble into work in the same clothes you've been wearing for a week. Break down.

That's the only way we grow stronger.

[Jcannon98188]

Just remember

Get angry, hate everyone. Cry your eyes out and punch walls. Write songs, smash out heavy sets, get blind drunk and stumble into work in the same clothes you've been wearing for a week. Break down.

That's the only way we grow stronger.

This is the greatest song ever.

[CyningaDena]

Just remember

Get angry, hate everyone. Cry your eyes out and punch walls. Write songs, smash out heavy sets, get blind drunk and stumble into work in the same clothes you've been wearing for a week. Break down.

That's the only way we grow stronger.

Given that this is Nerd Fitness, this might be more understandable:

[Guest Snake McClain]

Get angry, hate everyone. Cry your eyes out and punch walls. Write songs, smash out heavy sets, get blind drunk and stumble into work in the same clothes you've been wearing for a week. Break down.

That's the only way we grow stronger.

i like this answer.

[BopGun]

Given that this is Nerd Fitness, this might be more understandable:

Best Venn diagram I have ever seen. I love it!

[Guest Snake McClain]

alright men. big news/question.

It is quite possible...like...nearly 100% that i am buying a ticket to move to phoenix arizona to live with... Loren Wade.

I have no job lined up, but my job here is about to be gone. And as it stands right now I dont have anything here to...i cant think of the words. let me try it this way.

the only thing about my situation that will change is the people/scenery. but the way things have been in my life here that is probably a good thing. a very good thing. and if it doesnt work out i have a support system and could always come back.

I feel the majority of me telling me to go. but a small part of me is saying no and i dont know why. fear maybe? just uncertainty? i have no idea.

If you were me what would you do? Should I go? I think it would be a fantastic adventure. Which is more exciting to me than anything else.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

What the heck? You have nothing holding you back. A change of scenery can be good to help you get over what has recently happened, the physical distance can help you put mental distance behind the past. Also, there won't be the constant reminders of the dark times by having to go past places where she who must not be named and you have shared memories. Just be sure to bring sunscreen and an eighty bagillion oz. water bottle, phoenix is HOT.

[Artinum]

It is better to regret something you did than something you did not. Go for it - you have nothing holding you back apart from yourself.

[Jcannon98188]

That would be way sweet!

Make the move. Do things that scare you. I don't know about that Loren Wade fellow though. He sounds like trouble. Probably a nerd or something.

[Aqweei]

I'd say go for it. If there is literally nothing holding you back and you feel like you can make it work. Why wouldnt you go? Youre obviously ready for a change and here it is!

[ETFnerd]

look what i found on the interwebs...

[Jcannon98188]

look what i found on the interwebs...

Dibs on being campaign manager

[smedly]

I already am backing another candidate because what can I say, cake.

[KillerGriller]

Hey Snake, what about school? aren't you currently enrolled in classes?

[Red1263]

alright men. big news/question.

It is quite possible...like...nearly 100% that i am buying a ticket to move to phoenix arizona to live with... Loren Wade.

I have no job lined up, but my job here is about to be gone. And as it stands right now I dont have anything here to...i cant think of the words. let me try it this way.

the only thing about my situation that will change is the people/scenery. but the way things have been in my life here that is probably a good thing. a very good thing. and if it doesnt work out i have a support system and could always come back.

I feel the majority of me telling me to go. but a small part of me is saying no and i dont know why. fear maybe? just uncertainty? i have no idea.

If you were me what would you do? Should I go? I think it would be a fantastic adventure. Which is more exciting to me than anything else.

My guess is that what you're feeling is that small bit of Uncertainty/Fear that everyone feels when trying something new. It's there to help you heighten your sense and make sure that your mind thinks faster so that you can consider all possibilities/outcomes, if you have a good handle on it, you can use it to think of not only Life with the infamous Darth Wader, but with possible activities and opportunities that can come with living in Arizona.

So my recommendation is simply this: Grit your teeth, and Pack your bags! You're going to live with a Nerd!

[Church]

Sounds to me like you got the beginnings of an epic adventure on your hands. Assuming, of course, that you're not incompatible roommates who end up killing each other. Just sayin'.

[katpower]

I'm just gonna sneak in, give Snake a big girly manhug, and sneak out again before anyone notices a feminine presence...

[Church]

So I don't know what to make of this online dating thing. I feel that I've crafted a good profile that is representative of who I am and acquits myself rather well. And I've only tried to contact girls who I honestly feel I might have a legitimate shot with (in reference to likes/dislikes, what we're both looking for, etc.) and I've sent, what I feel are intelligent, well thought out and amiable. And the response has been downright depressing.

I realize that I haven't been online for that long, but I'm really beginning to wonder if maybe I'm not as awesome as I thought. It's a horrible feeling to doubt your self worth like this. I realize, intellectually that they're just random strangers and they're getting swamped by guys, but come on! You know?

[wildross]

Bruce, I'm not sure why you are even asking. Just shut up and go. We are more likely to regret what we have not done than what we have.

wildross - warriors count tons, not reps

[TheSavageBean]

It gets worse the more effort you put into it Church.

I want to tell you that the next girl you message will send back if you just fix this or that but it doesn't work that way.

The problem with online dating is that it's impossible to "get a signal" from a girl. If you're in a social setting girls will normally signal that it's okay to talk to them, or that they like your company. The signals are normally little things like sustained eye contact, warm smile, hair fiddling and etcetera. Online you don't have any of these signals to work with so you're just approaching cold, and you have no idea what kind of mood she's in when she's reading (or skipping over) your message. It's like walking up to a woman who's obviously on her way somewhere and asking her about her favourite band. It just doesn't work that way and she gave you no signal that it was alright to talk with her.

[Razor]

Is your profile viewable to non-members, or can you copy paste the descriptions? There might be some sort of red flag in there you looked over.

On another note, don't try too hard. Most people say they want somebody who puts a lot of effort into everything they do, but the truth is most people are intimidated by that. At least in our society, and especially the immature members of it, tend to gravitate towards the people who make it "look easy" and look like they can succeed or be awesome without trying. If you have a text wall, it might be a turn-off to others.

I'm not saying I agree with the mentality, but I've noticed in my experience the only other people who aren't turned off by the mentality are those who have it themselves. So again, it might act as another bullshit filter for all the girls you wouldn't be compatible with.

[CyningaDena]

So I don't know what to make of this online dating thing. I feel that I've crafted a good profile that is representative of who I am and acquits myself rather well. And I've only tried to contact girls who I honestly feel I might have a legitimate shot with (in reference to likes/dislikes, what we're both looking for, etc.) and I've sent, what I feel are intelligent, well thought out and amiable. And the response has been downright depressing.

I realize that I haven't been online for that long, but I'm really beginning to wonder if maybe I'm not as awesome as I thought. It's a horrible feeling to doubt your self worth like this. I realize, intellectually that they're just random strangers and they're getting swamped by guys, but come on! You know?

Dude, you've been on there for, what, a week? Relaaaax. You're just chilling, brah, emailing some ladies when the mood strikes, and maybe they respond and maybe they don't, but ain't no thang. 'Cause you're just checking the scene, and you're suave like the

.

These things happen in runs and I attribute it to the lunar cycle. You'll have dry spells, and then suddenly there will be a week where everyone wants to sit in your lap and you'll be posting very sad threads about how you've double-booked yourself. If you were hitting the singles groups or the book club or the biker bar, you wouldn't find a great date (let alone a partner) within just a week. Online dating doesn't speed up that (rightfully) slow human process -- it just takes liquor out of the equation and helps even the field for people who aren't metropolitan. I totally understand that there are also periods where you can feel very much alone, and also feel that being lonely maybe indicates some failure in yourself as a citizen/human/studly fugger, but the secret is to find peace in those periods of being alone and to trust that those self-deprecating feelings will pass and leave you just as awesome as you were before. The etymology of "alone," after all, comes from the original phrase "all one," and carried overtones of being complete and whole in oneself.

For some insane reason (probably because the deity in charge gets a kick out of it), you generally find someone incredible when you stop jonesing for someone incredible so badly. Like most good things in life, they happen upon you when you aren't tracking them down like it's a mission. So be patient, hang in there, and let your life proceed at its own Zen pace. Just keep plugging along at becoming the best version of you that you can be, and trust that the true awesomeness of your journey will eventually attract someone who blows your mind. It'll happen. Not tomorrow, probably, but it'll happen.

[Church]

You guys are awesome. Seriously, like a whole other order of magnitude from all the regular 'awesome' folks out there. And I totally get what you're saying, I'm just generally one of those people who falls into a sort of funk when I have tons of free time but no way to fill it, you know?

So I'm turning it around. Tomorrow I'm killing a workout, trying to swim, maybe golfing, and calling about a new place to live!

Somehow I just now realized that this issue is just a symptom and that, in reality, it is a non-issue. I've known for a while now that I need to better myself, but lately that has stagnated. It is a constant struggle to keep myself upon the right path, one that I have been slacking on lately.

Thanks guys

[67alecto]

I feel the majority of me telling me to go. but a small part of me is saying no and i dont know why. fear maybe? just uncertainty? i have no idea.

If you were me what would you do? Should I go? I think it would be a fantastic adventure. Which is more exciting to me than anything else.

The comfort of routine is the final thing you need to overcome.