Men ONLY please...

[Church]

Holy cow, I completely missed the latest topic! My phone didn't load anything after Snakes dilemma.

As for the family ostracizing the wife and kid I'd have a heart to heart with of if them that you're close to, try see what's up. But I'd also be willing to disown them if they can't be reasonable.

[RaeVynn]

It is imperative that your wife and child know that you are on their side in this whole thing. If that means that you no longer see your extended family, oh well.

Or, as has been suggested, occasionally see family members on your own.

There is no reason to subject someone you love to the emotional pain of that situation. And, seriously, do you want your child growing up learning that behaviour?

[BarefootDawsy]

Thanks for the input everyone. Just to add a bit of detail, my wife is Australian and I'm Canadian. We're in Canada right now but will be heading back to Oz in a few weeks.

I'm leaning towards just trying to bite my tongue until we leave for sanity's sake but am accutely aware that this doesn't solve the problem and that it will still be there the next time we're in town.

I feel sick about this situation as I feel like I'm being disloyal to my wife and kids but that the alternative is basically excommunication from the rest of my family. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place!

Maybe there is no solution. I hate that though as I'm a fixer and can't bear to leave it unresolved.

[Church]

That's a rough situation man. I really feel for ya. I'm going to assume that you're close to your family, and that excommunication would be a major issue. But at the end of the day, what course of action would let you respect yourself more? To excommunicate and have your own family? to try ignore the issue and hope for the best? Or to grab the bull by the horns and confront the issue, to whatever outcome that would entail?

And as I said before, of you do confront the issue head on, I'd recommend going to someone you're particularly close to, and who is also close to the situation, like a sibling or a cousin, or an aunt/uncle, or even one of your parents and saying "hey, I've been noticing (situation) happening. What's up?"

Best of luck bro, hope it all turns out for you.

[Red1263]

My standing is that now that you have a family of your own, They are your priority! The extended family had their chance to become welcomed in to your lives, but they refused that opportunity and so now, they must face the consequences of their actions. Talk to them, yes. But as much as it'll pain you, Should they refuse your welcoming them, then why introduce such awful influence into the life of your kid? Why introduce people who are willing to not welcome their own family, either by marriage or blood, into so innocent a world?

If there was a disaster, you think of your wife and kid first, before your extended family. I come from a large family, and all of my extended family hated my mother, so despite that they were welcomed into our homes, in the end, I don't know them. If they came to me for a favor saying, "Hey cousin/brother/Nephew, remember me?" I'm going to look at them with some distance. It shouldn't be difficult to be Family, and for all those who do not see this, always find themselves alone in the world.

You should do what's right for those who depend on you, Dawsy. The extended family don't look up to you as a symbol of a father-figure, as an example of what it means to be a Man. Do what's right for the Kid, because he is innocent in all this.

[azsf]

@BFD - i agree with phi, set the record straight with your family and tell them what's what. ask them why. if they evade, or deny, then tell them you're disappointed that they can't accept your wife/child/lifestyle and walk away. let them know you have a family and that comes first. if you like, you can also add on the old "if you decide to get over whatever your problem is you can contact me on this number", but this depends on whether or not you want them to be a part of your life. long story short, you're an adult, you get to decide who is and who isn't part of your life.

@snake - hate to say it, but it's not just about what she wants, you have to get what you want to. even if you love her/want her, if she can't give you what you want in a relationship (in this case; exclusivity and surety) then leave her. don't feel bad about saying what you want, and going for it. if this girl says she wants to see other people, and you don't like that, leave and don't look back.

[Guest Snake McClain]

This is going to be a long post gang.

First off I want to talk about my situation briefly.

I had to make a decision with this girl. She says, to me she still wants to date me. But "I need time for my heart to catch up to yours." and "I just need to know this is real." SO I have to decide that I'm going to trust she wants to me with me but is just scared. So I have determined that I really have two options.

1) Stop seeing her. And in a few months I know I will regret it and it will eat me away inside.

2) Keep seeing her and the worst case scenario is that she decides after those months she doesn't feel for me what is needed to continue then yes I will be hurt but I won't die. It will suck and I'll cry a lot (yeah i'm a girl) and it'll sting really bad but I have decided she is worth that risk. The other side of this is...well it could work out and be awesome.

So i decided to go for it again. We went out saturday night. While out it was a bit awkward at first, I could tell everything was off. I told her, "Look I know you don't want to talk about these other things but we need to. If we don't it's just going to hang over us and nothing will get better. You want to see me, and I want to see you and this is part of that." So...we talked. About the dating thing. About what she's afraid of, and what I'm afraid of. So here are the key points.

1) Her "seeing other people" thing is all about a big miscommunication. Let me explain. Basically her idea of "dates" with other people are not romantic. They are lunch dates with friends. As in she has guy friends or even if she makes new friends she wants to be able to go eat or hang out with them and have that freedom. And I said, "Wait...so you just want to be able to hang out with your friends? Why the fuck would I care about that? I have girl friends that I hang out with. People care about this?" So yes. that was a big stupid miscommunication. A big BIG stupid miscommunication. She told me when we first started, that if she is kissing one guy or whatever she won't be with anyone else. And she told me that if she was getting anywhere close to having those types of feelings with another person she would tell me. And I told her that was fine. Then she told me that no one is even close to that at all. Not even in the radar. So that's good.

2) We discussed her fears:

a) She is afraid because of her age (35) that if she wants to have another kid I may not be good for her in that regard because she has a time line of when it could work and with me doing school and such that it may not work. I told her that as a man I am not concerned with this AT ALL. In no way whatsoever. IF that happened, say she got pregnant by mistake or it was planned....then so what. We handle it. I'll be working full time and in school full time. Big deal. My best friend did it for 7 years. two kids. full time job and school full time for SEVEN YEARS. No reason I can't do it for one if it came up. She later told me that is a smaller concern and it's just a small fear of hers. Okay cool. not really that big of a thing.

Her other fear is that this is a fairy tale and it isn't going last. That I am acting this way temporarily and won't be treating her this way for good. Or that I am going to abandon her down the road. So I had to address why this is a fear of hers. And she's got her reasons. big time. some guys have done some rough things to her. i.e. writing her these letters and telling her she's the one for her and they love her then running off with another woman a few months later. She said she just needs time to know that I'm for real.

After some more talking we discovered that in reality she isn't afraid I am going anywhere. She just needs time to realize it. So that makes it easy.

So next question of advice from my dudes here. I need to focus on not being so serious every time we are together. To get the serious stuff out of my head and get back to having lots of fun. How do you suggest I do this? What can I do to remind myself to wake up and get back to the right way of doing this and forget all this b.s.?

now to address my friend Mr. BareFoot

OK guys, it's not so much a man-specific question, but since you're the best source of advice on the web, here goes!

There's a lot of back story and history to this, but I'll give you the bullet point version:

Basically my family doesn't seem to like my 3 year old kid, and pretty much ignores my wife.

My kid gets disapproving glances and comments, even though he's not doing anything that his cousins (who are golden children) do the same and worse, and even get complimented on it. He's a normal 3 year old, who has the occasional moment, but is generally a really good-natured, social, and friendly kid.

My wife of 11 years has basically been ostracised since we got married. She's mostly ignored, but nobody's openly rude to her (though they can be very rude "inadvertently").

I raised the issue with my mum years ago and after denying any wrongdoing, my family didn't speak to me for a year.

The problem is that I feel now that I can't say anything to my family lest I be shunned again, but I can't put up with my child/wife being mistreated any longer. The current answer is to just keep the 2 physically separated as much as possible, but this is just a band-aid, and not a real solution.

What can I do to fix this situation? What would you do in my place?

Okay buddy. Obviously your wife isn't going anywhere. Neither is your son. When a man get's married that relationship becomes (or should) the priority of their LIFE. Your other family takes a becond second to that relationship. It should be the primary thing you nurture on a daily basis. PERIOD.

So if this were me, I would be having a big talk with my family. Explaining to them that your family is important but your wife and children are far far far more important and if they don't get it together...well then you don't know if you can keep them around.

The problem is this is easy for me to say because my family and I aren't all that super close. So it's a lot different for me. For you it may be more difficult. I just would tell them I won't put up with it. Even if you are moving back to Oz soon...still. They need to know that you won't put up with it. Being a man today doesn't mean protecting our families from wild boars (it means that too i guess) but it means protecting our women's hearts from the dangers of being hurt unjustly. I simply wouldn't put up with it at all in any regard. Draw the line. Let them cross it if they dare.

[wildross]

Barefoot..been there, done that. As the Bible says, leave your mother and father and cleave to your wife. Never let her doubt who your first priority is. You'll have to explain things to the kid(s) later, but if you and your wife are agreed, they will be all right too

Sent from my DROID4 using Tapatalk 2

[ChristArtist]

Barefoot....let me clarify what wildross lost....he has been written out of the will several times...and now its final....

I tried for years to be a bridge, I was the best daughter-in-law, our children were the most respectful and helpful, but his family almost destroyed us, including encouraging him to divorce me...

He stopped forcing his family relationship, and we joyfully celebrate 32 years on August 2.

He choose me, and I choose him, it hurts, but its real. Choose your wife and children, it will win you're wifes heart, a real life Romeo and Juliet without the poison!

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

[Jcannon98188]

Barefoot....let me clarify what wildross lost....he has been written out of the will several times...and now its final....

I tried for years to be a bridge, I was the best daughter-in-law, our children were the most respectful and helpful, but his family almost destroyed us, including encouraging him to divorce me...

He stopped forcing his family relationship, and we joyfully celebrate 32 years on August 2.

He choose me, and I choose him, it hurts, but its real. Choose your wife and children, it will win you're wifes heart, a real life Romeo and Juliet without the poison!

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

Do NOT choose the poison!

[Jcannon98188]

This is going to be a long post gang.

First off I want to talk about my situation briefly.

I had to make a decision with this girl. She says, to me she still wants to date me. But "I need time for my heart to catch up to yours." and "I just need to know this is real." SO I have to decide that I'm going to trust she wants to me with me but is just scared. So I have determined that I really have two options.

1) Stop seeing her. And in a few months I know I will regret it and it will eat me away inside.

2) Keep seeing her and the worst case scenario is that she decides after those months she doesn't feel for me what is needed to continue then yes I will be hurt but I won't die. It will suck and I'll cry a lot (yeah i'm a girl) and it'll sting really bad but I have decided she is worth that risk. The other side of this is...well it could work out and be awesome.

So i decided to go for it again. We went out saturday night. While out it was a bit awkward at first, I could tell everything was off. I told her, "Look I know you don't want to talk about these other things but we need to. If we don't it's just going to hang over us and nothing will get better. You want to see me, and I want to see you and this is part of that." So...we talked. About the dating thing. About what she's afraid of, and what I'm afraid of. So here are the key points.

1) Her "seeing other people" thing is all about a big miscommunication. Let me explain. Basically her idea of "dates" with other people are not romantic. They are lunch dates with friends. As in she has guy friends or even if she makes new friends she wants to be able to go eat or hang out with them and have that freedom. And I said, "Wait...so you just want to be able to hang out with your friends? Why the fuck would I care about that? I have girl friends that I hang out with. People care about this?" So yes. that was a big stupid miscommunication. A big BIG stupid miscommunication. She told me when we first started, that if she is kissing one guy or whatever she won't be with anyone else. And she told me that if she was getting anywhere close to having those types of feelings with another person she would tell me. And I told her that was fine. Then she told me that no one is even close to that at all. Not even in the radar. So that's good.

2) We discussed her fears:

a) She is afraid because of her age (35) that if she wants to have another kid I may not be good for her in that regard because she has a time line of when it could work and with me doing school and such that it may not work. I told her that as a man I am not concerned with this AT ALL. In no way whatsoever. IF that happened, say she got pregnant by mistake or it was planned....then so what. We handle it. I'll be working full time and in school full time. Big deal. My best friend did it for 7 years. two kids. full time job and school full time for SEVEN YEARS. No reason I can't do it for one if it came up. She later told me that is a smaller concern and it's just a small fear of hers. Okay cool. not really that big of a thing.

Her other fear is that this is a fairy tale and it isn't going last. That I am acting this way temporarily and won't be treating her this way for good. Or that I am going to abandon her down the road. So I had to address why this is a fear of hers. And she's got her reasons. big time. some guys have done some rough things to her. i.e. writing her these letters and telling her she's the one for her and they love her then running off with another woman a few months later. She said she just needs time to know that I'm for real.

After some more talking we discovered that in reality she isn't afraid I am going anywhere. She just needs time to realize it. So that makes it easy.

So next question of advice from my dudes here. I need to focus on not being so serious every time we are together. To get the serious stuff out of my head and get back to having lots of fun. How do you suggest I do this? What can I do to remind myself to wake up and get back to the right way of doing this and forget all this b.s.?

First off, glad to hear that things are going well. Women have a way of making guys freak out don't they?

And just start having fun again. Go play some minigolf, go dancing, do something fun. Date like teenagers. This shouldn't be too hard, because it sounds like this is what you guys were doing a month ago (or however long it has been). To be less serious, and to have fun, do fun things.

[KillerGriller]

Thanks for the input everyone. Just to add a bit of detail, my wife is Australian and I'm Canadian. We're in Canada right now but will be heading back to Oz in a few weeks.

I'm leaning towards just trying to bite my tongue until we leave for sanity's sake but am accutely aware that this doesn't solve the problem and that it will still be there the next time we're in town.

I feel sick about this situation as I feel like I'm being disloyal to my wife and kids but that the alternative is basically excommunication from the rest of my family. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place!

Maybe there is no solution. I hate that though as I'm a fixer and can't bear to leave it unresolved.

I used to be a fixer (and still fall into it way too much), but one thing I finally started to realize is that everyone has the opportunity to choose and responsibility for how they act and there's not much you can do to change that (even if they're being dicks). If it's going to kill you to leave it unresolved then step up and deal with it, have the discussion and don't take no for an answer. They need to know what you see/hear/feel and they need to respect that and respect you, if they can't then maybe it really is time to move on. It's a terrible thing to hear, but only you can truly know what you can/can't deal with. You just have to figure out whether constant stress gnawing at your gut is better than the pain of walking away from a bad situation. Once you make your step, it's up to them to act and if they make the effort then the decision has been made for you. Sorry for the ramble

[Zima]

Snake -

Sounds like things are much better than I expected! I may have been somewhat pessimistic in my advice. I tend to assume when girls are being weird that they're trying to use you/play games/etc, when in reality she was afraid that you're doing that yourself. Sounds like talking things out helped a lot! To answer your question, now that you know you're both relatively on the same page, except she needs time to build trust and know that this is the real deal, just remember that things are going well and enjoy each other's company! Do fun, adventurous activities together. Is she into fitness? If not, get her into it. Go hiking, running, play racquetball, stuff like that.

[Waldo]

I used to be a fixer (and still fall into it way too much), but one thing I finally started to realize is that everyone has the opportunity to choose and responsibility for how they act and there's not much you can do to change that (even if they're being dicks). If it's going to kill you to leave it unresolved then step up and deal with it, have the discussion and don't take no for an answer. They need to know what you see/hear/feel and they need to respect that and respect you, if they can't then maybe it really is time to move on. It's a terrible thing to hear, but only you can truly know what you can/can't deal with. You just have to figure out whether constant stress gnawing at your gut is better than the pain of walking away from a bad situation. Once you make your step, it's up to them to act and if they make the effort then the decision has been made for you. Sorry for the ramble

This.

My wife's family has a very similar situation with other siblings. You really can't do anything about it. After years of trying to be nice, they gave up the charade and pretty much just avoid each other now (her mom with her sister's husband and their kid that he's poisoned).

[Church]

Snake, I think your best course of action is to chill out. Yes, a single date COULD possibly, somewhere down the road with some hope and luck and just a little pixie dust, turn into a lifelong commitment with marriage, a minivan, a dog, a nice little house with a white picket fence and 2.3 kids (assuming that thats the dream). But you've only been together for a month. That's WAY too early to be seriously discussing these things, if at all.

And yes, she's amazing. And you're amazing. Because you're both still crushing. HARD. You haven't had time for the endorphins and stuff to wear off and allow you to see the things about the other person that makes you wanna drink yourself into a coma do that you don't have to put up with them for a few hours of blissful unconsciousness.

I get where you're coming from, in an abstract way. But if you don't reign in your emotions you're just going to get hurt. I'm not saying to change who you are or how you treat her, because the most manly thing you can do is treat a lady with respect and kindness. But it really sounds like the best thing you can do is pull back a little. Stop resting all of your future hopes and dreams and plans on this poor girl, thats a heavy load to bear!

You two may be meant to go the distance, but only time will tell. And at this point, forcing it or rushing will only cut that time tragically short.

And Barefoot, I have to agree with everyone else. Draw the line in the sand and let them make the final decision. You and your wife and little one are one and the same. If they don't accept them than they don't accept you. Simple as that. It may hurt, but ultimately it will be their choice. And their very regrettable loss.

[Jcannon98188]

Snake, I think your best course of action is to chill out. Yes, a single date COULD possibly, somewhere down the road with some hope and luck and just a little pixie dust, turn into a lifelong commitment with marriage, a minivan, a dog, a nice little house with a white picket fence and 2.3 kids (assuming that thats the dream). But you've only been together for a month. That's WAY too early to be seriously discussing these things, if at all.

And yes, she's amazing. And you're amazing. Because you're both still crushing. HARD. You haven't had time for the endorphins and stuff to wear off and allow you to see the things about the other person that makes you wanna drink yourself into a coma do that you don't have to put up with them for a few hours of blissful unconsciousness.

I get where you're coming from, in an abstract way. But if you don't reign in your emotions you're just going to get hurt. I'm not saying to change who you are or how you treat her, because the most manly thing you can do is treat a lady with respect and kindness. But it really sounds like the best thing you can do is pull back a little. Stop resting all of your future hopes and dreams and plans on this poor girl, thats a heavy load to bear!

You two may be meant to go the distance, but only time will tell. And at this point, forcing it or rushing will only cut that time tragically short.

And Barefoot, I have to agree with everyone else. Draw the line in the sand and let them make the final decision. You and your wife and little one are one and the same. If they don't accept them than they don't accept you. Simple as that. It may hurt, but ultimately it will be their choice. And their very regrettable loss.

People say this alot, but I knew a couple that got married 2 weeks after meeting. They recently celebrated their 50th anniversary. Some people can just know. Not saying this will happen for everyone, or even that it will happen for Snake, but it does happen.

[Guest Snake McClain]

Snake, I think your best course of action is to chill out. Yes, a single date COULD possibly, somewhere down the road with some hope and luck and just a little pixie dust, turn into a lifelong commitment with marriage, a minivan, a dog, a nice little house with a white picket fence and 2.3 kids (assuming that thats the dream). But you've only been together for a month. That's WAY too early to be seriously discussing these things, if at all.

And yes, she's amazing. And you're amazing. Because you're both still crushing. HARD. You haven't had time for the endorphins and stuff to wear off and allow you to see the things about the other person that makes you wanna drink yourself into a coma do that you don't have to put up with them for a few hours of blissful unconsciousness.

I get where you're coming from, in an abstract way. But if you don't reign in your emotions you're just going to get hurt. I'm not saying to change who you are or how you treat her, because the most manly thing you can do is treat a lady with respect and kindness. But it really sounds like the best thing you can do is pull back a little. Stop resting all of your future hopes and dreams and plans on this poor girl, thats a heavy load to bear!

You two may be meant to go the distance, but only time will tell. And at this point, forcing it or rushing will only cut that time tragically short.

.

The realist in me says this.

People say this alot, but I knew a couple that got married 2 weeks after meeting. They recently celebrated their 50th anniversary. Some people can just know. Not saying this will happen for everyone, or even that it will happen for Snake, but it does happen.

The hopeless romantic in me says this.

But in reality, Church, I know you are right. I need to take a step back and quit focusing on the big picture. I don't know what happened but something last week made me lose my mind over this woman and I can't seem to let the "drama" of it go and just enjoy and relax and have the fun we need. I'm trying to hit the reset button on myself.

Any one have any ideas?

[Church]

Any one have any ideas?

Bacon.

And dead lifts.

Also, pull ups.

And maybe interval sprints.

If none of that works, then pick one thing you've always wanted to do, and go do it. Weather it's skydiving (like me in less than two weeks! ), paintball, or being kind of like Jim Carrey in 'Yes Man' where he said 'yes' to every opportunity that came his way. Weather it was a date, volunteering, going to a club he would not otherwise attend, taking a random weekend trip to Vermont (or wherever he went)

[BarefootDawsy]

Thanks everyone. Of course you're all right and I really need to man up on this one. It's funny because I'm usually not backwards in coming forward, but with family I lose all sense of perspective.

I think what's made it hard is that my family aren't bad people. If anything they are generous to a fault and quite lovely. They would never come straight out and say mean things. Instead most of the problem comes from things they don't do, and from not admitting when they've done something hurtful, even unintentionally.

Plus both my parents' health isn't wonderful so adding stress is something I'm a bit loathe to do.

It all sounds like excuses and I'm sure it probably is but such is the way it is and why I feel so paralyzed to act.

It makes me sick to my stomach that I'm letting my wife and kids down but so does the idea of having a huge fall out with the rest of my family again.

[161803398874989]

Bacon.

And dead lifts.

Also, pull ups.

And maybe interval sprints.

You didn't say squats.

Hand in your man card.

[Guest Snake McClain]

Thanks everyone. Of course you're all right and I really need to man up on this one. It's funny because I'm usually not backwards in coming forward, but with family I lose all sense of perspective.

I think what's made it hard is that my family aren't bad people. If anything they are generous to a fault and quite lovely. They would never come straight out and say mean things. Instead most of the problem comes from things they don't do, and from not admitting when they've done something hurtful, even unintentionally.

Plus both my parents' health isn't wonderful so adding stress is something I'm a bit loathe to do.

It all sounds like excuses and I'm sure it probably is but such is the way it is and why I feel so paralyzed to act.

It makes me sick to my stomach that I'm letting my wife and kids down but so does the idea of having a huge fall out with the rest of my family again.

man I'm sorry to hear this. It is a rough situation. period. The only way to truly let everyone down though is to do nothing at all. You have to make some sort of action one way or another. I'd much rather upset my family than my wife and child. Your family doesn't sleep in your bed or mother your child. Your family doesn't hold your hand when you're having a bad day. As for their health...well really there is a way to do it nicely. Just tell them you sense some trouble and you want to be at the bottom of it.

[Artinum]

I need to take a step back and quit focusing on the big picture. I don't know what happened but something last week made me lose my mind over this woman and I can't seem to let the "drama" of it go and just enjoy and relax and have the fun we need. I'm trying to hit the reset button on myself.

I fell in love about three times, and got my heart broken every time, and quickly. Then I gave up on love and got practical, and ended up in a relationship that lasted a year (sounds rubbish now, but it was far and away my best result at the time). It was exactly the relationship I needed at that point. But after that year, it wasn't right for me any more. Eventually I met someone new, and we've been together for ten years now (and still going). Do I love him? Yes. Sometimes I feel like strangling him, but there's still love there. If I ever doubt that, I just need to remember the bad times - they didn't shake us.

I think it's because, when we first met, there wasn't that sudden rush. We met up for a date, a bit of fun, and to see what happened. It led to several more dates, we got to know each other, and eventually love grew. It wasn't there to start with, but we cultivated it - and it took us by surprise when we discovered it (though the key moments are different for both of us!).

Sure, some people fall in love instantly and stay together for the rest of their lives. Some people win millions on the lottery too, but I think the odds might be similar. Take your time. If you start treating it too seriously too soon, you'll risk damaging it. So have fun, treat every date like the first one, live for today. Then, when you wake up a few years down the line and realise you're in a serious commitment, it'll be a nice surprise.

[Guest Snake McClain]

I fell in love about three times, and got my heart broken every time, and quickly. Then I gave up on love and got practical, and ended up in a relationship that lasted a year (sounds rubbish now, but it was far and away my best result at the time). It was exactly the relationship I needed at that point. But after that year, it wasn't right for me any more. Eventually I met someone new, and we've been together for ten years now (and still going). Do I love him? Yes. Sometimes I feel like strangling him, but there's still love there. If I ever doubt that, I just need to remember the bad times - they didn't shake us.

I think it's because, when we first met, there wasn't that sudden rush. We met up for a date, a bit of fun, and to see what happened. It led to several more dates, we got to know each other, and eventually love grew. It wasn't there to start with, but we cultivated it - and it took us by surprise when we discovered it (though the key moments are different for both of us!).

Sure, some people fall in love instantly and stay together for the rest of their lives. Some people win millions on the lottery too, but I think the odds might be similar. Take your time. If you start treating it too seriously too soon, you'll risk damaging it. So have fun, treat every date like the first one, live for today. Then, when you wake up a few years down the line and realize you're in a serious commitment, it'll be a nice surprise.

you're totally right. you hit it on the head. treat every date like the first one.

I am really trying to relax today. get my head around relaxing and being fun. being my relaxed self i was when we started and not the product of the fear i have because of this last week. I just need to wake up. *cue slapping*

I have an idea of how to bring some excitement into our day today. She isn't expecting me to come over. I am thinking I'll hit the gym (she likes me sweaty), but then I'll head over right after knock on the door (unexpectedly) then when she answers grab her and kiss her (yes we kiss a lot so this isn't weird) and then say, "I wasn't planning on staying I just really needed that." And then leaving. unless she stops me of course.

[Jcannon98188]

And then leaving. unless she stops me of course.

giggity

[Church]

You didn't say squats.

Hand in your man card.

..... *hangs head in shame* ........ *hands over man card*

.............. *grins because I had a man card to hand over.*