Hollow mind makes for lack of motivation...

[mandoris]

Hello,

 

I'm new to the forums, got an academy account a few months ago, did stuff on it for a bit, then sort of just..... didn't...  Trying to correct that now.    I am a 6'0, 265lbs, 38 yr old male, I work from home on 3rd shift doing a network engineer and support role.  The working from home is great, but makes it so there is some dead time, and ample opportunity to cook myself whatever I want, whenever I want, while at work. 

 

When I was down in the 230-250 range, I started doing OCR races and enjoyed that alot.  Winter is just clearing and I'm starting to feel the urge to get active again.  I don't mind exercise, though sometimes laziness takes over.  I am totally a food addict however, and eat too much of the wrong stuff too often. 

 

I think my main problem is this, and I was curious if anyone else could relate, or had any advice.  I feel like my mind is VERY cloudy most of the time, and it leaves me in kind of a haze of blah.  I can solve problems just fine, so it's not a problem for work, but life is kind of...  grey.  I don't have a strong feeling about anything, so it's hard to be motivated by anything, or work up ambition in the moment to fix something.  It's not that I don't want to fix it, it's more that I don't actually think about it to even audit internally whether I should be doing something different.  I remember saying to my wife recently, "I need to figure out how to want to want to fix this."  I live day to day just fine, contentedly, but without feeling strongly about anything, there is no disgust to drive me to positive change, and little excitement to motivate me to continue good work.  Further, even when I write up a schedule, or plan out my week (I do enjoy planning/time management), I can literally go through an entire day forgetting to LOOK at the plan.    Also I think I've gotten to that point where past failures stress me out about new attempts. 

 

I ace parenting, I am easily one of the strongest engineers at work, I have a masters degree in my field...  I have a lot of victories in life.  But fitness and health have always been my weak point.  There is a small part of me that would really like to conquer that, but the other 95% of me is full of apathy.  I'm hoping this post and continued involvement on these forums will sort of wake up that side of me, but I'm open to suggestions...  How do I want to want to be awesome? 

[BarbarianBassBro]

Try this technique:

Make a list what you are thankful for and the first thing you do after waking up, is taking a look at it and add something new. Just a minute or two of reading every day and maybe thinking for some minutes about what you´re adding - that´s it!

I bet it will improve your way of thinking to focus on those positive things!

 

Actually I read a motivational email this morning with an Indian saying, I´m trying to translate it from german properly:

When you wake up in the morning, say "Thank you" for the morning light and the power you have.

Say "Thank you" for your food and your joy of being alive.

If you see no reason to say "Thank you", it is your fault.

[Raincloak]

You express pride in your parenting skills. That's great, but your kids are gonna be pretty disappointed in a few years if they want to do sports or outdoor activities and Daddy can't keep up. Don't you want to be able to play ball and go on hikes with them? That will only be a reality if you make it so. It's not super hard but it won't magically happen by itself.

Plus there's the whole setting an example thing... if you remain fat your kids will probably wind up fat too. They eat what you eat. They do what you do. If you are an active, veggie munching, disciplined nerd, that is what they will become. If you're a sedentary junk muncher who can't cook... well you get the idea.

I'm not saying your workouts should be motivated by fear. I'm just saying, what kind of man do you want your kids to see? Are you being that guy? If not, start being him.

[hesaki]

For myself, I know diet plays a big role in how clear my mind is. Over the past few months, as I've incorporated more and more veggies, fruits and lean proteins, the more clear it is. When I slip and eat something I probably shouldn't (curse you chicken tenders and cajun fries) I definitely feel like I'm back in the cloudier mindset until it leaves my system, let alone my body feeling like just doing nothing until it's gone. Maybe try a small adjustment in your diet and see if that helps lift the haze. 

[mandoris]

For myself, I know diet plays a big role in how clear my mind is. Over the past few months, as I've incorporated more and more veggies, fruits and lean proteins, the more clear it is. When I slip and eat something I probably shouldn't (curse you chicken tenders and cajun fries) I definitely feel like I'm back in the cloudier mindset until it leaves my system, let alone my body feeling like just doing nothing until it's gone. Maybe try a small adjustment in your diet and see if that helps lift the haze. 

 

This is a good suggestion, but I've always had serious trouble putting it into action.  Lean proteins I can do, but I've always had trouble with fruits and vegetables.  It's not that I just don't prefer them, I hate most of them.    Salads are awful to me, I feel like I'm just walking up to a tree and eating leaves off of it.    But on a similar note, I've done 1-2 week fasts before in life, and I do find my mind is generally clearer during that time, perhaps the premise is the same. 

 

You express pride in your parenting skills. That's great, but your kids are gonna be pretty disappointed in a few years if they want to do sports or outdoor activities and Daddy can't keep up. Don't you want to be able to play ball and go on hikes with them? That will only be a reality if you make it so. It's not super hard but it won't magically happen by itself.

Plus there's the whole setting an example thing... if you remain fat your kids will probably wind up fat too. They eat what you eat. They do what you do. If you are an active, veggie munching, disciplined nerd, that is what they will become. If you're a sedentary junk muncher who can't cook... well you get the idea.

I'm not saying your workouts should be motivated by fear. I'm just saying, what kind of man do you want your kids to see? Are you being that guy? If not, start being him.

 

Nothing wrong with getting motivation from fear, if it works.  It's kind of why I referred to a lack of ability for disgust as a problem, disgust is a powerful motivator channeled correctly...    Good point on being an example/inspiration.

 

Try this technique:

Make a list what you are thankful for and the first thing you do after waking up, is taking a look at it and add something new. Just a minute or two of reading every day and maybe thinking for some minutes about what you´re adding - that´s it!

I bet it will improve your way of thinking to focus on those positive things!

 

Actually I read a motivational email this morning with an Indian saying, I´m trying to translate it from german properly:

When you wake up in the morning, say "Thank you" for the morning light and the power you have.

Say "Thank you" for your food and your joy of being alive.

If you see no reason to say "Thank you", it is your fault.

 

Thanks, I was pondering a similar idea myself, but yours seems a bit more positive-focused.  Mine was a list of all the reasons I want to make this change, and all the negative things I have in life now that will be fixed by doing it.  And keep adding bad things to it.  Perhaps some combination of the two would be valuable. 

[BarbarianBassBro]

Don´t Focus on the negative things, I would Keep it positive!

 

An example:

You are single and are really unhappy about it, so you try to work on it, go on single partys, get a dating app, always have an eye on every woman because it could be the love of your live and so on. You give energy to the fact that you are single and sad about it.

I bet you will a) feel better and have better chances to get in a relationship, if you think positive instead of focusing on how aweful it is to be single. Tell yourself "I would prefer to get laid on a regular base and have a relationship, but I´m still happy the way it is, because I have time for gaming, meeting friends, going to *insert random stuff you like* and all without having to tell my gf where I´ve been so long! Awesome!"

Same goal, different way to handle the negative stuff and for sure a better feeling. When you focus on the negative you will show others that you aren´t confident with it and don´t like yourself. Focus on awesome, be awesome, look awesome to others => you´ll find a girl.

[Noname123]

Check out some veggie recipes, don't need to eat salads to incorporate them into your diet. I think if you manage to tweak a few things and get a little more variety and nutrients from your diet it could really help your cloudy mind issue (I was the same before I got bit by the OCR bug and shifted everything including my diet towards performance!)