No more excuses

[rhnsari]

Hello, all! I am Rhinsari, a 24-year-old private school administrative assistant in a moderately big city in the Midwestern United States. Call me Sari for short. I love all things Star Wars and have slowly been dipping my toes into the world of comic books. I've been lurking Nerd Fitness for a few weeks now, but this is my first time posting in the forums. I had written some long-winded post about how my slovenly lack of fitness was the fault of my upbringing, my job, health issues, where I live -- essentially, it was everyone's fault that I am an out-of-shape chubster but my own. Then I read Steve's post on sticking to your beliefs like Captain America and boy did that change my thinking drastically. I refused to stand up to myself and say, "No. I want this. I want to be better, do better for myself, and push myself." Instead, I said, "Oh, but obesity runs in my family..." or, "but my really difficult health/digestive issues make it hard to find a healthy, balanced diet to follow," and, "well, the doctor says I'm 'healthy,' maybe it's my destiny to just be fat." I placed the blame anywhere I could to make myself feel better for my lifestyle. In essence, my lifestyle is a choice. I choose to not workout. I choose to eat A LOT during the day. I choose to come home, plop myself in front of the computer and play hours of video games instead of balancing that with walking and playing with my giant Rottweiler (who ALSO needs to lose weight). 

 

I want to be better. I want to move forward in my life. And, mostly, I want to stop wallowing in pathetic self-pity. It's so warm and comfortable and familiar, but truly it's just a nasty, evil entity that is destroying any and all progress. But again, it's a choice to wallow in my self-constructed pity. (These, of course, are my personal feelings and beliefs. I know there are many who struggle in different ways. No two lifestyle changes are ever going to be the same.). I also want to go to law school. I took the law school admissions test last fall and did terribly. I am convinced that a lack of discipline (didn't study hard) and a lack of confidence (I am not as talented nor as smart as the others) torpedoed that test. 

 

ALRIGHT! Enough talking. Now for the goals.

 

I am a 5'6" woman, 170-180 lbs (it fluctuates). This is the heaviest I have ever been. I haven't ever been fit, even when I was thinner. I want to lose about 35-40 pounds of fat and get stronger. I also want to run a 5k by this October and ultimately a 10k by next spring. And even my dog needs to lose weight! My Rottweiler, Maximus, weighs around 122 lbs. The vet would like for him to weigh between 105-110 lbs. I've already cut his food per the vet, but I really need to exercise him far more than I do. He's a weirdo that doesn't like fetch, but we do play a game that's similar to tag which he loves. When we walk it's about 1.8 miles. 

 

My diet is going to be a little bit more tricky. I have IBS (ew, I know) so that means certain fibers and fruits will make things...unpleasant. For example, I cannot eat certain fibers, whole grains, or large amounts of leafy greens. Even too much meat and veg can tear things up, so I tend to eat a lot of breads and pastas as that seems to help things run more smoothly. Clean eating is the way to go for my personal brand of IBS. As much as I'd love to go full paleo, it's just not feasible. I am a snacker, but I've been trying to train myself to drink water when I feel the urge to eat. 

 

Running is one of my favorite things to do. Unfortunately, I suck at it right now. Since I put on so much weight, it's just really uncomfortable. Everything jiggles around and clothes don't like to stay where they should. Nevertheless, I do indeed want to stick with it, most likely with a couch to 5k plan. I've done those before and they worked well. I also am starting to do yoga/body weight exercises on my off days. 

 

Overall, I want to be disciplined and confident. I am worth it. I deserve to feel good about myself, and I deserve to be my best. I'll be posting my progress, the good and the bad, in the daily battle logs forum.

 

I think that'll do for now. I'm so glad I found Nerd Fitness. For the first time in a long time, I feel really hopeful. I'm so happy to be here.