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22 hours ago, Muir said:

 

Do your business in a plastic container (one you don't mind throwing away after), collect the sample, empty the rest in the toilet.

 

Edit: Also, I was giggling like mad reading through your post. hehe

 

Soooo..... let me get this right. You sit the container inside the toilet first and try to aim your bumhole in it's direction? Or do you perform some kind of weird "hovering your butt just above the toilet seat with the plastic tub clamped against your bum cheeks, gripping it with just your finger tips" thing?

 

I'm guessing it's the former, amirite?

 

There is one thing though... I have to provide three different samples. I'm going to lose a lot of Tupperware. :( 

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Make Life Rue The Day                             Turning back the clock                                                Recipe book  14

 

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On 1/7/2017 at 9:22 AM, Guzzi said:

 

There is one thing though... I have to provide three different samples. I'm going to lose a lot of Tupperware. :( 

 

Maybe drape some clingfilm over the bowl? A bit looser than one would do as a prank (not that I would know anything about that...).

Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger

[ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ]

Spoiler

 

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

"I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk."

- Maurice Moss

 

 

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7 hours ago, Frost of the Gloaming said:

$1 store strainer, everything you don't need goes through, dump when you are done and you're only out a $1

 

Now this is something worth considering. Thanks Frosty!

 

Make Life Rue The Day                             Turning back the clock                                                Recipe book  14

 

Life is far too short to take seriously

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You could drain the water from the toilet bowl, do your business, then lift the seat and scoop a sample from the dry bowl.

 

To drain the bowl, open the tank lid.  Securely prop up the floaty thing in (or just hold it up with one hand) so no more water comes in. Reach into the tank (the water in there is clean) and lift the flapper.  The water will drain out of the tank and into the bowl. If you do it right the water pressure will flush the toilet, and it won't refill because you propped up the floater in the tank.  If it doesn't flush by itself, try pouring a bucket of water into the bowl.

 

 

 

 

 

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Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

Hylian Assassin 5'5", 143 lbs.
Half-marathon: 3:02
It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

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Or you could close the valve that provides water to that toilet.  Same way you do when a pipe leaks. 

Or, I guess you could get a pack of cheap cooking spoons with long handles, and use them to break off a bit and scoop it up.

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Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

Hylian Assassin 5'5", 143 lbs.
Half-marathon: 3:02
It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

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1 hour ago, Frost of the Gloaming said:

Still talking about poo fishing

 

Meh I was looking like a Unabomber, so I shaved everything but my goatee and goddamn my cheeks are cold

 

 

 

Oh no! I thought you were going to keep it and grow it longer?

Make Life Rue The Day                             Turning back the clock                                                Recipe book  14

 

Life is far too short to take seriously

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I have been growing out my goatee for the last 4-5 months (?; I don't know it gets long I cut it) so it wasn't even with the sides so I looked really raggedy; I know eventually I'll have to trim the goatee to match up, but really I'm not there yet

Between a rock and a hard place, use our finger nails to climb, it's all we know..........

Daily Mile

Perfer et obdura: Dolor hic tibi proderit olim

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I have nothing to add to the Dating thread, but all I can say is damn I'm glad I from the generation after having to use the phone to talk to people and before digital camera's really became a thing. That nice little 5year window of IM's and chat rooms

 

 

 

wait..... that might be the reason why I have a hard time talking to people in real life, you could honestly give your self time and re-write what you were going to say 30 times before hitting send.

 

If you studied Russian/Bulgarian/German you will not have a problem with Spanish, no they don't really have a lot in common but Spanish isn't as bad as you think.  

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Between a rock and a hard place, use our finger nails to climb, it's all we know..........

Daily Mile

Perfer et obdura: Dolor hic tibi proderit olim

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Of the languages you listed, French is most closely related to Spanish, and English isn't too far away.  For extra fun you could study Catalan or Portuguese, which are cousins of Spanish, but with more French influence (and less Arabic than Spanish has in it).

 

Spain is a great place to work if you speak fluent English or German.  They get hordes of German tourists along the coast, and the Germans have to speak English when they want something because no one in Spain speaks German.

 

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Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

Hylian Assassin 5'5", 143 lbs.
Half-marathon: 3:02
It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

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34 minutes ago, RandMart said:

Here's a little bike tour of some town on Gran Canaria, courtesy of Danny MacAskill & GoPro

 

 

 

 

Oooooooh!  :concern: His nuts must have got hammered at the end there, surely!?

Make Life Rue The Day                             Turning back the clock                                                Recipe book  14

 

Life is far too short to take seriously

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Videos like that make my butt clench. I have a fear of heights.

Well, not so much heights as of falling.

Well, not so much falling as stopping falling.

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Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger

[ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ]

Spoiler

 

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

"I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk."

- Maurice Moss

 

 

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Yeah, I get that... but when he lands in the water the laws of physics dictate his bike will (very rapidly) decelerate when it hits the water whilst his body will still be accelerating, causing a meeting of the two somewhere in the groin/saddle region, no?

 

In fairness Im basing my assumption mostly on watching my mate Ally jump into water on his mountain bike. And then nearly drowning as he tried to cradle his testes and shout "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" Whilst underwater. 

 

There me is the aforementioned saddle height difference, but I assumed theincreased  height/speed would make up for the lower saddle. 

 

He wasn't holding his nuts and sobbing on the li-lo right enough... ;) 

Make Life Rue The Day                             Turning back the clock                                                Recipe book  14

 

Life is far too short to take seriously

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