Ashamed to even post.... let's try this again

[Zarklin]

Well here it is and as the title says I'm ashamed to even post this..... But I'm trying to get back on track with everything fitness related in my life. Last year I made a ton of progress to the tune of being down nearly 100 lbs from my heaviest, then I failed. I messed up something in my arm so bad I couldn't even hold a bar to lift without being in extreme pain. I let work and life get in the way of pursuing treatment for over a year. There was always something "more important" to do than take time off. Needless to say everything back slid and I've put 60-70 lbs back on. I'm working on getting into physical therapy as a first step to correcting the problems to see if that helps. The Dr. said if I don't show improvement after a month of PT they'll send me for imaging. I need PT for a long term problem I've had in my leg as well but I think I can do some low impact stuff in the mean time. I'm trying to keep my chin up and not let self disappointment rule me. I've actually considered vloging on Youtube to keep me accountable but who knows.... One big push now is my wife is wanting to get back on track as well and has committed herself to doing a triathlon sprint in the spring. I hate to have to rely on her commitment to get or keep me going but right now it is so I'll take it. So here's to a respawn and dragging myself out of this failure induced depression and self hate. Going to start with getting my food back in order and at least walking a few miles a day. Hope to have this be the last "comeback"

[fitnessgurl]

You can do this. Make a plan. Set a specific goal.

[Evicious]

In my not-so-humble opinion, there is ZERO shame in backsliding and restarting. Shit happens; sometimes life rearranges your priorities, or sometimes you just get tired. People fall off the wagon all the time for all kinds of different reasons. That doesn't matter.

 

I mean it. That doesn't matter at all.

 

The only thing that DOES matter is if you're happy where you ended up. If you're not, then you need to make some changes. You know why people don't like most backsliders? It isn't because they don't understand the reasons why the backslider ended up back where they started (or sometimes even in a worse place): it's because the backslider isn't happy where they ended up, but they spend all their time complaining instead of working to get back to the point where they were happy. As the meme says,

Spoiler

 

Please note, I am not directing that at you specifically (although I've certainly used it against myself on many an occasion!) I use it to succinctly state the universal mindset everyone has to embrace in order to get over their personal excuses.

 

So to reiterate, I don't find your current situation "shameful" in any regard. In fact, I think it's fantastic: there you are, at the beginning (or close enough) all over again - odds stacked against you once again, your body in open rebellion... and yet you stand. Where others would throw in the towel and simply continue the slow spiral of self-defeat, you have the daring - nay, the audacity - to dig in and defy the entropy.

 

That's not shameful. That's fucking inspiring.

 

In the interest of your success (which I feel is assured, at this point), I have dug through the annals of the NF blog and excavated this gem for you. Hopefully, you will find some, if not all, of it to be useful to some degree.

 

The 5-Step Plan to Success After Failure

 

 

[Zarklin]

Thanks for the encouragement all. I have my first therapy appt on the 19th. Hopefully they tell me I can at least do some biking or swimming. Wife's starting to get meal plans together again too.

[Vibrantella]

Good luck with your PT appointment!  Enjoy the swimming and/or biking, but remember the old adage - abs are made in the kitchen (or is it that you cannot outrun your fork?).  Anyways, food is usually 80% of weight loss.  I'm sure you already know this - after all, you did it before (and very well done for that!)

[Zarklin]

Just dug this out as a reminder that I can pull it off again....again... and this time go further... needed a little boost tonight

 

[Zarklin]

Digging through my old topics I realized the last time I was active on here was February 5, 2015. A few months before I really fell apart. I'm starting to notice a pattern with myself and my attitude. Hopefully coming to a realization of my pitfalls can help me address them.  to quote " I've been really getting down on myself this week not quite sure why... hell I should be happy I've made it this far"....."One thing I really need to work on is getting more sleep. My head has been going 100mph and been keeping me up at night" It was a slow start then and the injury pushed it over the edge. Those 2 quotes have lasted for nearly 18 months now.... Seems the one thing I tend to neglect is my mind and when it can't take anymore I spiral physically. Also with three people lost last week two of which where taken too soon I think now is a good time to concentrate on some soul searching. To make sure I'm satisfying what keeps me fresh and positive in my head. Now to figure out exactly what that is......