Shifting the mind/body connection can lead to a huge shift in health and wellness...

[oystergirl]

I posted some of this as a comment on Ems blog and it blew my mind because I didn't really realize I was doing this and I think this is the true reason why I am so successful this time around with my health program...

You see, about 5 years ago I had a traumatic event happen to me that changed my entire focus on life for a while from strong to fearful and that lead me to gain tons of weight and stop taking care of myself because frankly, I believed my body was responsible for that event. I have since done a lot to heal my feelings around that and realized that is not the case, but I did gain a ton of weight in an effort to become invisible...when I finally cleared up a lot of my energy and emotions regarding this event I was free to love myself again and thus I embarked on a new journey for health and wellness. I have been very successful so far and this really surprises me because over the past 2 years I have started a program again and again only to be thwarted by cravings, or too many drinks, or too much gluten, or not enough exercise, or injury and pain etc.

I realize that the only thing that has changed is my true belief that loving myself is the most important thing I can do for myself.

I also think that once you shift your mind set "deprivation to lose weight" to "loving myself to make myself healthy because I know I have some issues and I want to treat my body with love because it is my ONLY true partner through life and I only have one of them and I need to take great care of it as if it were a precious gift" then you will see yourself putting down the fork, or better yet, not being tempted anymore.

The body/mind connection is a strange and convoluted thing. When your body TRULY believes you are doing something for it because you love it, then it accommodates you...if you are doing something that your body believes is a punishment or a deprivation or an outright rejection, then it kind of thinks...GEEE, I am THIS way because of your actions...I can only reflect what YOU do to me because it is all you....when that happens your body is like a child and will do everything it can to screw up your plans because frankly, it is all our faults--we feed our bodies, we work our bodies, we water our bodies, we breathe for our bodies and we certainly have a ton of thoughts about our bodies--for many of us those are negative...it is only when we truly take responsibility for the care and feeding of our body as a vehicle for our lives and treat it with kindness, respect and love--taking care of all its needs (all its needs...not just the ones that make it arbitrarily skinny...) then we will see true and lasting success...

Just thought I would share with all of you and wondered if anyone else had made the connection that doing all this healthy living really shouldn't just be about a fear of illness or dying or an arbitrary beauty standard, it should be about loving ourselves.

[Thrillho]

I can't really approach anything like a traumatic event, but I know where you're coming from. For a long time I was trying to lose weight because I'd look in the mirror and hate myself (along with hating my life and hating most of the people around me), and I've only been having any success since an extremely annoying event happened (again, not traumatic), and I've shifted my views not to hating myself, but remembering how happy I was back when I was in shape and loved the whole world. Still kinda hate how I look, but I think my body knows I'm doing this for good reasons.

Kudos!

[ebm1224]

thanks for this. it's definitely worth thinking about...thought i honestly have no idea how to get to that point. i think i do a pretty good job of loving myself and i have very supportive people around me. i do like the idea of switching from changing from thinking of not eating certain things as deprivation to thinking of them taking care of my body. perhaps my problems with weight loss up until now are that i've sort of had an opposite experience...i was at my least healthy state when i was thin in the past. maybe my body remembers that and doesn't want to go back to that place?

good thoughts though. definitely alot to think about. *hugs*

[Corbab]

This is amazing. At risk of sounding like a total hippie, you can't sustain progress with hate and resentment. It's only when you decide to take care of yourself and take pride in steps toward doing that you will really be improving.

[morethanjustamom]

I need to share this with my hubby. He's strong on the mind/body connection when it comes to heavy lifting (psyching himself into lifting mode, telling himself 'I can do this!'), whereas that is where I am...not necessarily weak, but afraid. I definitely don't have a defeatist attitude, but I am afraid of injuring myself with poor form or trying to do to much too soon, and that holds me back in areas where I could be succeeding. On the other hand, I am much more successful with the way I look at diet than he is. What I see as taking care of my body, he sees as deprivation and punishment for 'letting himself go'. I think because I've had issues with gluten, I've learned to look at food for what it is: fuel, not reward, and some of it is poison.

[shutterpillar]

I think you are absolutely right. I am currently on that road myself and it feels great. I have had issues with myself for quite a while now (explanation in my intro) including a battle with depression that lasted a few years. This entire fitness experience has been so good for not only my body, but most importantly for my mental wellness.

[unicornassassin]

I had cancer which was just a terrible experience, as a person might guess. What I learned from it, after a long, winding road of recovery, is that

1) I can soothe myself with stuff other than food- like exercise and social interaction.

2) I am loveable, and I love myself enough to treat myself well.

3) I can do way more than I ever thought possible.

Thanks for sharing. It's nice to think about this stuff in an intentional way, and to know that others have similar thoughts

[oystergirl]

Big hugs everyone, and especially Unicorn cause you totally rocked exactly what I was speaking about. Case in point is one of my best friends and co-girl scout leader who had an aggressive form of bone cancer that was diagnosed only 6 months before we were taking our troop to Europe. She taught me so much and is such an amazing success story. Not only did she not lose her leg which everyone expected (she is now the 6 million dollar bionic woman with an almost completely replaced titanium leg), but she saw her treatment, which was brutal as steps towards being strong enough to go to europe.6 WEEKS after having her surgery she and I with a few other parents took 30 people on a trip to London, Paris and the Mountains of Switzerland. I think it was one of the most moving experiences of my life (and really when I started to shift out of my poor me mentality and started to heal)....here was this lady who I loved, who was wonderful, who could easily have seen her illness as a poor me tragedy and wallowed in it...instead she loved herself, took it all on the chin and kept getting back up....I am tearing up right now writing this....she is my role model and she taught me that no matter what ANYONE says to you...you can create miracles if you truly believe. In your life, with your health, with your fitness, in relationships, it is all about the love and the faith.

Huge hugs everyone!

[unicornassassin]

.I am tearing up right now writing this....she is my role model and she taught me that no matter what ANYONE says to you...you can create miracles if you truly believe. In your life, with your health, with your fitness, in relationships, it is all about the love and the faith.

Huge hugs everyone!

Big hugs right back at you. I'm misting up a little at you tearing up. I have a little friend crush... haha.

Isn't life just the best?

[Relosa]

Having dealt with chronic depression and still deal with small bouts of it now and then I can completely agree with you all. It's tough to want to do anything to improve yourself when all you think is that you're a loser and can't do anything worthwhile in life. There's a lot that needs to go into making yourself happy and positive, and I've found that when I don't exercise and eat well I'm in a terrible mood, but if I do exercise and eat well I'm in a much better mood than normal.

For me the hardest part has been starting and keeping up with those good moods and feelings when there's a lot keeping you down, be it other people or lack of a job. Sometimes I wish there was a switch you could flick to go from being depressed to being really positive. But I think if we had that it would probably take away from the purpose of being human and learning to deal with adversity.

[oystergirl]

Ahhh Uni, crushing right back!

Relosa, another interesting point you bought up is keeping going when things are keeping you down. For the first time in my life, this past couple of months a lot of really serious shit was happening in my life piled on top of my husband being unemployed--4 of my close friends ALL had life threatening illnesses like FATAL if not treated and one is still dealing with her ordeal while the others are recovering, plus my brother in law died at age 60 from lifestyle related body failure...in the past, I would have allowed those things to drag me into a major funk and using crutches to numb the pain, but this time I turned to my program for comfort and peace and support (plus this place rocks and everyone here is so friendly and supportive) and realized that treating myself with love and care in the face of upsetting circumstances was way better than treating myself like crap cause that was more of a double whammy than just the single whammy of the situation itself.

more hugs all around!