I dun gone mucked up

[The Ox King]

It all started last week. I was tired on Wednesday, so I pushed my Wednesday workout to Thursday.

Then I substituted my Friday dinner vegetable for a less healthy option.

On Saturday and Sunday, I'm supposed to have one cheat meal each, but both days I mucked up.

Saturday, I blew my calories way out of range and ate an entire batch of brownies (they were delicious, I assure you).

On Sunday, I simply didn't stick to my meal plan. I hit my calorie range, but with one less meal. At least I did a lot of walking.

Yesterday (Monday), I had chicken thighs for lunch, instead of breasts, and had a not so great vegetable. That all pushed me 250 over kcal my range. I also postponed my workout, because I was just so sleepy.

I meant to hit the gym this morning, but I didn't. In fact, I was an hour late for work! OTL

 

I mean, what I need to do to get back on track is simply to get back to my plan. My partner called off for tonight, so I can simply eat at home, which was part of my issue (I have all my food pre-cooked and at home. Eating at my friend's would have slightly thrown me off).

 

See the rest of this thread for further updates.

[NobleAlyssum]

Silver lining: it sounds like you know exactly what's throwing you off your goals. The trick is to not wallow in self pity when you fall short, but to pick back up and try again! I use a planner to help keep me focused.

I've had a hard time keeping to my goals this week too. I made the mistake of baking cookies (to use up some sugar that's been sitting in my pantry way too long) and no one around to eat them but me. So I'm having a cookie with every lunch (terrible!) just so they don't go bad! I'm going to try and leave them at work: see if anyone eats them there and they don't tempt me!

[ThePinkLight]

NobleAsylum- If you totally want your cookie and you've planned for it and it's an awesome treat- go for it. I personally find that sometimes I can have a little treat, and sometimes I can't. So- if at any point the cookies come alive and start calling your name like sirens on the deep sea- destroy them with water and/or salt!

[Stellakin]

First of all; kudos. Like @NobleAlyssum said, you seem to be really great at reflecting on what threw you off and calmly reanalyzing! Not all of us have that innate ability *coughs* me, I mean me *cough*. Hehe. Another plus; a few days of mischievous slacking off won't throw you entirely off-course weight-wise, fitness-wise, etc. Honestly, it can keep you sane amidst your plan to conquer your goals! So now that its all been-and-done, its all water under the bridge. Well done, and best of luck!; let us know how it goes!  

[The Ox King]

1 hour ago, Stellakin said:

First of all; kudos. Like @NobleAlyssum said, you seem to be really great at reflecting on what threw you off and calmly reanalyzing! Not all of us have that innate ability *coughs* me, I mean me *cough*. Hehe. Another plus; a few days of mischievous slacking off won't throw you entirely off-course weight-wise, fitness-wise, etc. Honestly, it can keep you sane amidst your plan to conquer your goals! So now that its all been-and-done, its all water under the bridge. Well done, and best of luck!; let us know how it goes!  

Well, I fucked up again early last week, but since then I went to Camp Nerd Fitness. God, so fucking amazing. I wish I could have that support and inclusiveness forever.

Big win today. My brother's shirt got mixed into my pile. I typically wear 3xl undershirts and I wore his 2xl undershirt without a problem. Woot woooot!

@NobleAlyssum Thank you!

@ThePinkLight Yeah! I plan and eat little things all over the place, like Cheez-Its! 

 

[The Ox King]

My energy level is in the pits since Camp Nerd Fitness.

A) It feels like I can't get a good breath; like the air is too thick.

2) My muscles are fatiguing at even low weight/rep/speed.

C) I am sooo sleepy.

C.5) Coffee doesn't help. It keeps my eyes open, but not much else.

D) Camp destroyed some of my goals, and gave me a different mindset. I seem to have lost my path.

E) Did I mention I'm sleepy?

F) I've essentially skipped 1.5 workouts of 3 this week. Not good.

 

Action plan!:

This week:

All electronics off by 8:30pm. In pajamas, in bed by 9pm.

I'm gonna take a week off workouts, and just focus on other changes. Maybe I'll take the time to finally make the mountain of meal prep I've been planning.

Practice breathing meditation.

Go ahead and walk in the rain, when it's reasonable to do so.

Talk with my personal trainer about my issue(s).

Talk to my therapist about new goal(s).

Next week:

All electronics off by 8:30pm. In pajamas, in bed by 9pm.

Practice breathing meditation.

Get back to my workout plan, but workout on MWF, rather than MTW.

Try adding more cardio, rather than strength, to my plan.

[The Ox King]

Reading back through my last post, it's obvious why I'm here again.

I have two to three mindsets I carry with me through life.

That last post was my "optimistic" face.

Right now, I'm in my most common phase, where I'm resting and disappointed in myself. I'm not always disappointed in myself, but I am atm.

My other face is my two AM, super depressed, "I don't wanna live" face, which I try to avoid at all costs.

Anyways, now that I'm here, I want to reaffirm my goals. What I have listed there is perfectly fine. I can do it.

Today, though, (in fact, it was just a few minutes ago) I was eating lettuce and just kind of realized... I don't want this. The bottom half of a romaine head is tasteless, though filling and low calorie. I need excitement, in my food and in my life.

Generally, I dedicate each year to something different, and, surprisingly, I make the best changes the following year, but that's because I have set off a catalyst and it continues to change me.

Last year I focused on my emotional self, and this year I was focusing on my physical self. I want to change my self and become in tune with my physical body. I've changed my food and workouts, and I think that I've gone from ~20% in tune to about 55% in tune. There's still a far ways to go, but it's definitely progress.

But, maybe I should start next year now. I already know that my year will be dedicated to "breaking out of my comfort zone." My Power Phrase will be "Break The Fucking Expectation" for now, because I tend to stick to just that. "Fucking" was added for Maddie's sake (NerdFitness staff). I have a feeling I'll find better wording, but it's that for now.

So, to any reader out there, how should I break the norm?

[The Ox King]

Time for the weekly respawn... *sigh*

This is getting boring and each time I respawn, my objective seems a bit duller.

At this point, I'm pretty sure I'm null committed. I understand that it's just a series of actions, but I'm lost my why. Or rather, I've lost the meaning behind my why.

Before CNF2016, there wasn't an issue. Camp was my objective, because I wanted to move well.

Now, Camp is over and I'm waning. I've missed workout after workout and my food has turned to crap again. Tuesday is always a decent workout, and food is alright, but not great.

I'm fairly sure I lost weight in the past month, but not nearly as much as I wanted.

 

One of the big things is that I've been spending a lot of time thinking about where I want my life to go and who I want to be. I've opened pathways in my behavior that lead to happiness, but the missed health opportunities dim that achievement. I can feel happy and love like never before, and I'm trying to learn to like myself, but that's difficult and made worse by my workout and nutrition missteps.

I know that it's a matter of changing my mindset, but I feel like I'm failing at even little changes. Wtf, Matt? Wtf?