Struggling and bummed out

[Naturally]

Sorry for the whiney post, but I wondered if anyone might be able to give me a hand to boot myself up the backside and out of this.

I'm studying for a degree - 9 weeks left to go. This phase of studying for me has always been the worst, and this time is no exception. Well, there is an exception and its that I found NF in January and **thought* I had it licked. Clearly not. I am not eating to plan. I like to think I am, because I try to base most meals around meat and veg, but I'm comfort eating and that means eating those things (and fruit & nuts) to excess. And sugar has found me, big time. Cup cakes, pastries, marshmallows, and flapjacks. Its comfort eating, I tell myself "I need it" for the energy to study. That's also what I tell myself in the middle of a gruelling day of bleddy hard lectures. And when I'm working on assignments til late at night. Which is of course, total bullshit!

Health wise I'm not good,. A few weeks ago (10 ish, not quite sure) I hurt my back by not warming up properly before I lifted. I'm not quite over that, thought I was a couple of times, worked out gently and hurt it again I'm not too sure what to do next with the back - I have a number of options, including bowen therapy or physio, but money is a real issue for me at the moment. I really don't think spending my entire waking life sat in front of a computer at the moment is helping at all. I've also got my RSI (repetitive strain injury) in my wrist back, so its agony to type. I have tried SO many different treatments for that over the years, nothing has really worked, apart from to completely rest it from writing and typing, which I really can't do at present. My guts are playing up because I'm eating rubbish and stressed, and my ankle which I broke still swells up when I do even a slight amount of impact exercise.

In general I know that quite a lot of the things which are bumming me out (comfort eating, stress, RSI, money worries) should resolve in 2-3 months time, and part of me thinks I need to just survive until then. But I think the main problem is longer term, and that is that I KNOW I need to lose weight, and get a handle on eating properly, but I have struggled with this for YEARS and I'm not convinced I have got it finally, completely totally sorted in my head. I'm worried that paleo and this style of exercise is "just another fad" in my trials and errors in trying to get slim. My heart isn't really in it, I am motivated to a certain extent but not 100%, and I know that my motivation needs to be intrinsic, not extrinsic. I feel stuck: I know, and I really don't want to and can't for my health afford to give up and eat like its going out of fashion, yet even though I am at the heaviest I have ever been I am still making excuses and avoiding tackling it head on.

Basically, sorry about the moan, and... help.

[21katykat01]

Hey Naturally,

So most of my advice is going to be re the uni stuff. I'm a PhD student now, so I've had lots of practice!

First of all, make sure you are getting plenty of sleep. And that's plenty for you, not what anyone else says. For example, during stressful times, I can sleep between anything from 6-12 hours. I get exhausted and sleep is necessary. It allows you to physically, mentally and emotionally rest. Your body uses this time to repair itself and cortisol (the stress hormone) can do a lot of damage. Find a good sleep pattern for you. For example, I am a night owl. I sleep til 9 or 10am, but I work until about 2 or 3am usually. Sleep when you are tired, wake when you are rested. Unless you have to get up for work or an exam of course!

Find your rhythm. Not everyone can do a 9-5 chunk of work. I do a little bit in the morning, take 3-4 hours off in the middle of the day and work again in the evening. These are the times when my brain seems to work best for uni stuff. Try to find what fits for you then move on to the next step.

PLAN. I'm sure this word has been repeated to you to the extent of almost becoming blasphemy. But truly, it's essential. The thing you might not have been told is that you don't really make a plan to stick to it. Making a plan is useful just to illustrate to yourself what you need to do and in what time scale. When my bf has an assignment coming up, we write down every single thing he needs to do to complete it, from going thoroughly through the brief to looking up research material to drafting and editing. I know you're probably at the point of exams, not assignments, but this can still be translated to that process. Think about what you need to study and try to estimate how long you will need to complete each task. At the end of the day, bf never follows the plan, but it gives him a chance to really think about what needs done and shows him how long it's going to take which gives him motivation to not just leave it til tomorrow.

Also, the most important thing I've ever learned through my time is uni is to give yourself a break when you need one. That might seem counter-intuitive, but if you're comfort eating because you're tired and feel you need the boost, what you probably need is a break. Leave the books. Go for a walk, play the computer for an hour, phone a friend, go for a coffee. Do something completely unrelated for an hour. Then, go back. I used to be terrified of taking breaks, but when I was tired enough to cram my face full of chocolate, I was also too tired to take anything in. That means it's essentially wasted time. Much better to take a break, refresh yourself, and come back to studying ready to absorb material.

Last few tips:

- If your exams are essay based, ask if you can submit practice essays and do as many as possible

- Teach your material to your cat/mum/cuddly toy/desk chair. This helps you understand material much better.

- Don't study any later than 2pm the day before an exam. You need time to unwind and relax. This is hard, but harder if you're studying until bed time.

- Make sure everything's ready the night before. Pack your bag, plenty of pens, matric card and whatever else you need. One less stress for exam day.

- When it's done, don't discuss with people "What was your answer to x, y and z?" This will only ever end badly.

Good luck! You can do it. You've got this far, and you'll make it to the end. I hope some of this was helpful and not just a reitiration of everything you already knew. I'll leave food/exercise stuff to those more qualified.

You can do it!

[Morrigainz]

I know for me, there are only a certain number of things I can handle at a time. For instance, in the 2 weeks after Easter, I did not work out AT ALL. Granted, it made me feel a little more like poo, but I had so much going on that I just had to let something slide. And that's TOTALLY OKAY as long as you get back on it when your stressful period is done. So if you fail (for a little while!) on things like diet and exercise...that's ok. You just have a few more weeks to go - you are so close. Keep your eyes on the prize and don't let anything distract you from it (easier said than done).

That being said, of course, as katykat said, breaks are important. If you get to the point where the words are no longer making sense, STOP and do something else. Your brain is not going to do you any good if it's exhausted.

And - LISTS! PLAN! I love these. They suck to make and follow through on, but I do far better when I have these things than when I do not. If you're really concerned about your eating, try taking one day out of the week and spend a little time cooking - grill up some chicken breast, make an egg monster...buy some sweet potatoes and some frozen steam-bag thing veggies. Make your meals easy to access - and honestly, it's not likely that you're going to be able to overeat on meat and veggies (and healthy fats in moderation).

If you want a cupcake, have one. But just one. (This is where I suck.) It won't kill you and if you're so distracted by a craving that you can't focus on your work, that's no good either.

Anyway...good luck. Stay focused. You can totally do this.

[LRB]

On the typing thing -- have you looked into Dragon Naturally Speaking? http://www.nuance.com/for-individuals/by-product/dragon-for-pc/home-version/index.htm I know of a couple of bloggers who use it, and if you didn't know, you wouldn't know. I know it seems like a lot of money, but compared to the cost of surgery or physical therapy, it's nothing. Plus, if you're not tied to a keyboard, you might be able to stand up and pace while composing, which might start to help with some mobility issues.

As for the eating -- don't go cold turkey right now, but try having just half the amount of the bad thing that you would usually have, then switch over to munching on vegetables or something.

Hang in there! You can do this!

[oystergirl]

Gonna comment a bit more from the ethereal and if it feels right to you then take it, if not, just know I am loving on you and sending you some strength.

We all go through cycles in life and even when we make changes our propensity to do things the same way or repeat the same pattern is a strong one until we learn the lesson set forth for us and then we finally move on. No pressure to really find out what it is that draws you into the same cycles, when you go through it enough eventually you find your way out.

But right now, there is a lot of solar flare activity. What does this mean? It means that everyone's cycles and ebbs and flows and ups and downs are stronger than before. Folks can discount it but then look at the idea that extra energy is coming into your life and any system that has to get used to added energy across a circuit is going to be stressed before it figures out how to handle that energy.

My daughter, who is an empath like me and a straight A student at college is going through a similar thing as you. She KNOWS what she needs to do, she knows she has gotten through it before, she knows all this stuff, and still she feels over whelmed and her thinking is getting her in trouble.

I will tell YOU what I told her. Make a list of what you can do today to take care of yourself and put yourself in the position to achieve what you need to achieve without undo stress. Divide it all up. then prioritize. YOU just like anyone else cannot expect to get it all done, but you can feel accomplishment and still take care of yourself in the same time frame. SET treats that you can be comfortable with. Set time for YOU, set time for sleep and then when you feel comfortable with the plan and you know the plan will work, simply follow the plan and live in the NOW...

NONE of us EVER know what the future is going to hold and if you start worrrying about it you will ONLY drive yourself crazy. Apply a plan that you devise, that you know will work for the NOW....

BEST OF LUCK....and big momma hugs.

[Naturally]

Thanks everyone. Kattykat - RE uni - I do find I need extra sleep, and I am a night owl, so I tend to forgive the lie ins for starting work around 12-1pm ish and carrying on through to 10-11pm. I know about cortisol, having studied it a lot in the last 2 years - and that's one of the things that really concerns me about the health of me doing this flipping course! Its good to have someone's permission to sleep too, so thank you!!

I am a planner and a list maker, no worries there. I just end up squeezing the time in my days because I inevitably spend longer than I thoguht I would doing it!

MirGSS - I enjoy cooking, and eating homemade meals, so I make time to cook at the end of the day, even if its 11pm or later. I make use of my slow cooker, and batch cook, but could do better if I had more ideas for the easy to repair stuff. I tried stuff like Iceland's jacket potatoes, but even something as inoccous as that has added weird chemicals, and I really feel the difference after a week or two of eating that, hence why I'll try to stick to easy to prepare but decent homecooked food, where possible. At the moment I am loving going to the supermarket after 10 hours in college, and snaffling all the reductions to put in my freezer

LRB - I am not elligible for financial support to buy Dragon, but funnily enough I have been to see the learnign support team about it this week and hope to be able to trial it for future potential. Its too close to deadlines now to start using it, or at least I suspect that it is.

Thanks for the encouragement, it means a lot. And please, if anyone else has anything to say I would love to hear it!

[Naturally]

Oystergirl, thats very sweet, think I'll PM you

[21katykat01]

Thanks everyone. Kattykat - RE uni - I do find I need extra sleep, and I am a night owl, so I tend to forgive the lie ins for starting work around 12-1pm ish and carrying on through to 10-11pm. I know about cortisol, having studied it a lot in the last 2 years - and that's one of the things that really concerns me about the health of me doing this flipping course! Its good to have someone's permission to sleep too, so thank you!!

Sorry it was all kind of stuff you knew! What's your course in btw? Hope you're feeling a bit better about things x

[Naturally]

Sorry it was all kind of stuff you knew! What's your course in btw? Hope you're feeling a bit better about things x

It really helped to have someone who is at a higher level than me confirm that my way is an acceptable way though, so I am very grateful for your post.

i'm doing Equine Science. how about you? x

[cline]

Also, try setting what seem like small goals. When you accomplish them, give yourself a non-food reward like a quick 5 min walk, 5 mins of a game, etc. as you meet these goals, keep track and you'll build confidence. For example, maybe tomorrow is make it until noon with no sweets. Maybe that's your goal for a few weeks. Every day, make it to noon. Then, when you got it licked, make it to 2 pm, etc. you'll rack up wins that are easy without going cold turkey or setting up for big failure. Less stress too.

And if you aren't really into paleo right now, that's totally cool. A lot of people here don't do it. Do it if/when you are ready. But maybe it's not your thing? Why add the stress?

[tigersheart]

Hang in there and don't give up!

Everyone has already given some awesome advice, I just want to chime in on the comfort food...when you hit that point where you just want to reach for comfort food....go ahead and do it you can still have your comfort food! Just change what it is...fruits and nuts...yeah maybe not the best in large quantities over a long period, but far better than the other stuff.

Bacon! so good have to say it again..BACON! Hopefully you like it..because it can be such an awesome comfort food, and the fats will help with that energy you need.

Dark (80% or more) chocolate! don't overdo it, if you need to eat lots of the other stuff.

Also experiment with natural(non processed) foods till you find one that acts as that comfort food for you. For me, I fell in love with dates...the kind you eat, not the kind you take out to dinner They are one of my comfort foods now days.

You can do this, just take it one small step at a time. Remember to make a choice each time you reach out for that food you know is not right, stop and change that choice, but still reach for the food(the right kind) and you won't feel like you are holding back. And if for some reason you do make the choice you know is not best....fine, don't beat yourself up, just make the right choice next time and move on.

Good luck in all of this, I hope it passes quickly!

T

[4fahrenheit]

First thing: We have all been there, so never think you are alone in this.

What works for everyone is different, but I hope this can help.

Sleep is definitely key and planning. I do shift work on a rotating schedule (did 1130pm-730am for 5 years!), so each week I pick one day and use that as my food prep day. That can be anything from making healthy snacks to cooking bulk chicken so I have ready protein any time I need it. My schedule is always an issue so I put everything into my phone calendar. I even schedule sleep, eating, and crossfit. I found this really helped me on days when I was lacking motivation and just starting.

Making small goals can really help. I made a list of everything that was bothering me, then I crossed off everything I had no direct control over.

I rewrote the list of what I did have control over and ways I could work on it. I kept it posted on my fridge and on my bathroom mirror. Every time I went to comfort eat I saw that list. Every time I felt plagued by how fat I felt I saw the list on the mirror. The best thing I did was ask for help. I asked for friends and family to help keep me accountable and some to do it with me. Every time I accomplished a goal from that list I celebrated it.

My job can be very stressful and I sometimes carry that with me when I leave. I'm a Paleo diehard, but I do agree that though "I think" everyone should try it, not everyone wants to. That's ok. I am in the 80/20 Paleo group. I love to cheat on pizza and ice cream from time to time and have often "fell off the wagon" and landslide off my plan. Enjoy the cheats. Make them something to look forward to. I stay Paleo because I have food allergies so a lot of my diet is out of necessity and not as much by choice. On days where I really dont want to cook or I really dont want to be healthy, I put on pandora or a favorite playlist of songs and try to make it fun. I dance and sing along in my kitchen as I cook. That has had some embarrassing moments when my roommates walk in, but a good laugh always makes us feel better. Time to cook is always an issue for me, so I try to cook in bulk. Popping leftovers in the oven or microwave for a few mins is a lifesaver instead of cooking every night.

When I am frustrated with work, my "so tight its non existent" budget, or studies I try to go for a walk, go for a ride in my jeep with the top down, listen to a few of my favorite songs, take my camera and chase my cats around, read a web site called tiny buddha, and the list goes on. Find things that you enjoy and do them when you are low on morale or hitting a wall with your studies. Write down what bothers you and see if that can help you unload some of the burden. Call a friend, come here (as you have) and ask for help. Even just sitting in the sun for a few minutes can help. I know you have a few injuries you are working through, and as frustrating as they are, find things that you can do to help work towards your goals. Walk around the block, swim or water exercises, yoga?

No matter what you chose to do, keep trying. Keep reaching for those goals, even when you dont want to. The more you try, the easier it will become. Resisting the donuts at work is never easy, but I have done it so many times now I know I can do it, and that confidence does make facing the challenge easier. And once in a while I reward myself with enjoying one. The same with exercise, which ever form or style you chose, at first it was a chore to do every day, but that also became easier. Even on the days I didnt really feel like going. Now its harder for me to skip a day than it is to go.

Hope this helps.

~Jules