How to make a big decision...

[oystergirl]

Here is what I do, but then again, I am an energy reader, empath and intuitive...we all have intuition and most of us find that if we "follow our gut" we do the right thing...Oprah said once that if you lead from your intuition you will never make a mistake. Listening to our inner voices is gold...

So, I want you to get into a really calm state, listen to your breathing and get comfortable...then simply focus on the situation that will be created when you make the decision one way...focus on it with as many details as you can create, like you are day dreaming about it being exactly as it would be should you make the decision this one way...get as specific as you can. Then FEEL how that feels in your solar plexus..the area right underneath your xiphoid process at the bottom of your sternum..this is the center of your chakra power and intuition about the future. it's your "gut"...

Really sit with that...and then take a deep breath, imagine those images washed away--take a drink of water and then settle in and do the same thing with the opposite decision...and see how that feels...

If one feels WAY better than the other then go with that...if they both feel the same way then allow your "head" into the situation using your pros and cons list...

Most of the time for me, my gut will tell me the way to go. Best of luck!

[Guest Snake McClain]

If you're going to become one of the 1 percent, you have to commit in an unwavering, never doubt yourself or your ability kind of way. The fact that you're so unsure means that you should probably do something you'll feel better about committing to, like school. There are TONS of less physically taxing ways of staying active that surely you'll be able to participate in without having to choose between it and eating.

Just an outsider's $0.02.

Well the truth is there are a HUNDREDS of people that give everything that do sacrifice all aspects of their personal lives to do this and still never get a thing out of it. They do everything expected or asked and still get buried. It's just an ugly business. So yeah even though I know i'm doing quite well (probably the best in the class) it doesn't matter. my skill or talent level is small potatoes and almost completely irrelevant (which is ridiculous that can be the case) in this industry. So sadly no i'm not willing to sacrifice more. I have friends and family who would like to see me healthy and this just isn't going to promote that liklihood.

I think that aside from the money aspect, the potential for damaging yourself in the long run, and the general (unfortunate though it may be) importance of getting a college degree these days, it just sounds like you're unhappy. It almost seems to me like you are afraid of letting go of the childhood dream. That's ok...it gives you a lot more options, and options/change is scary. And to "give up" on something you've worked so hard for can be difficult. But life changes. Interests change. Priorities change. And that's ok too.

Do you love it? Are you committed to loving it, and investing in it, for another decade or more? Are you willing to put all the hard work, injuries, and everything else that comes with it to get your shot?

From the little I've read, it sounds like "no." But that's just an outsider's perspective.

Anyway good luck...those life-changing decisions are hard...

No I'm letting go of a dream does suck. but on the other hand i've looked at it and noticed how the dream I thought it was is not the dream it really is. It's a bummer. It sucks. but I'd rather let go of it and move on to better things than let it kill me.

[Guest Snake McClain]

Here is what I do, but then again, I am an energy reader, empath and intuitive...we all have intuition and most of us find that if we "follow our gut" we do the right thing...Oprah said once that if you lead from your intuition you will never make a mistake. Listening to our inner voices is gold...

So, I want you to get into a really calm state, listen to your breathing and get comfortable...then simply focus on the situation that will be created when you make the decision one way...focus on it with as many details as you can create, like you are day dreaming about it being exactly as it would be should you make the decision this one way...get as specific as you can. Then FEEL how that feels in your solar plexus..the area right underneath your xiphoid process at the bottom of your sternum..this is the center of your chakra power and intuition about the future. it's your "gut"...

Really sit with that...and then take a deep breath, imagine those images washed away--take a drink of water and then settle in and do the same thing with the opposite decision...and see how that feels...

If one feels WAY better than the other then go with that...if they both feel the same way then allow your "head" into the situation using your pros and cons list...

Most of the time for me, my gut will tell me the way to go. Best of luck!

Although i have not gone to the length you prescribed to reach this decision, i too am an epathetic and intuitive person and not following my feelings has burned me. I have done this with this decision already (but not meditating but i just feel it when i see my life ahead of me) and I know what the right choice is. I just have to let it go and move on.

[LRB]

A friend of mine was trying to decide between going to Harvard and going to Yale (I know . . . life's tough). She was talking it through with my father and said that she had decided, when she was ten years old, that she was going to go to Harvard, so she planned to accept the spot at Harvard. My father looked right at her and said "then you're letting a ten-year-old make that decision for you; what do you want NOW?"

She went to Yale and loved it.

So, I ask you: are you letting your childhood self determine the best course for you now? Really, you've given it a good shot. And it's not what you thought it would be. Make the decision on the basis of who you are now and what you want NOW, not on the basis of what you thought it would be like when you were younger. Don't let a ten-year-old make that decision for you.

[oystergirl]

A great book to read on this type of crap is called stumbling upon happiness...its amazing that in the equation of happiness most of the time we never are happy where we THINK we are gonna be happy because we simply MISS the fact that certain things we imagine in a situation are gonna be completely different because WE are THEN completely different from where we were when we imagined our future happiness...LRB your pop was zactly right!

[AuroraNorth]

No I'm letting go of a dream does suck. but on the other hand i've looked at it and noticed how the dream I thought it was is not the dream it really is. It's a bummer. It sucks. but I'd rather let go of it and move on to better things than let it kill me.

My $0.02: One of my longtime dreams was to work as a restaurant/nightclub bellydancer. I have been bellydancing for a few years now, and last fall my school offered a class for people who were interested in dancing professionally. I went, all fired up and ready to go- and by the end of the class, I had no desire to dance commercially. The teacher was great and honest and helpful, she certainly wan't trying to put us off. However, after learning about the restrictions and issues involved, I realized that what I really enjoyed was the performance aspect, and I could get that in one of the school's student companies or creating solos for student shows.

Did it end a dream? Yes, but I consider the lesson cheap at the price. It helped me target exactly what I thought I'd get from being a professional, and instead channel my energy into what I really want.

[Guest Snake McClain]

My $0.02: One of my longtime dreams was to work as a restaurant/nightclub bellydancer. I have been bellydancing for a few years now, and last fall my school offered a class for people who were interested in dancing professionally. I went, all fired up and ready to go- and by the end of the class, I had no desire to dance commercially. The teacher was great and honest and helpful, she certainly wan't trying to put us off. However, after learning about the restrictions and issues involved, I realized that what I really enjoyed was the performance aspect, and I could get that in one of the school's student companies or creating solos for student shows.

Did it end a dream? Yes, but I consider the lesson cheap at the price. It helped me target exactly what I thought I'd get from being a professional, and instead channel my energy into what I really want.

Sounds exactly like me.

[Lachy]

Is there not a way you could continue with it, but not from the point of making it a career, but from the angle of just doing it for fun? Do the training, have training matches etc, but don't go on the road, don't perform, don't devote your entire existance to it.

Most people that train in Cross Fit, Kravmaga, the other things you suggested as alternatives, don't do it to be professional, they do it for fun, for the social aspect, for the challenge, then they go and live their lives, work their jobs, do their studies. If that's possible, it's the best of both worlds, isn't it?

[Guest Snake McClain]

Is there not a way you could continue with it, but not from the point of making it a career, but from the angle of just doing it for fun? Do the training, have training matches etc, but don't go on the road, don't perform, don't devote your entire existance to it.

Most people that train in Cross Fit, Kravmaga, the other things you suggested as alternatives, don't do it to be professional, they do it for fun, for the social aspect, for the challenge, then they go and live their lives, work their jobs, do their studies. If that's possible, it's the best of both worlds, isn't it?

That isn't really a possibility. Training puts our body through the same punishment as a match...more so sometimes. That would netter a bad idea. The other reason that won't work is I'm not going to do this unless it's something I will or can be successful at because of the day I love pro wrestling. I dont

Care about martial arts in that same regard. If that makes sense.

[katscratch]

What do you think is taking up more mental/emotional energy in you more right this second: making a decision about whether to leave wrestling, or figuring out how to let it go? I have found that the "mistakes" I've made in situations like this often are related to the second.

And oystergirl, your words in both posts are EXACTLY what i needed to see today. Things i know and have been thinking about a lot in the past week or so, but your wording put it right in my head. Thank you.