Could use a little pick-me-up

[LRB]

So, post a joke, a "I'm thinking of you," or something else to make me smile, please. I hesitate to ask, but could really use a bit of good in my life today. I posted this in my six-week-challenge thread, but wanted to put it someplace where more people would see it. I'm not good at asking for help, and hope you don't mind the cross-post.

===========================================

See, I have a very, very good friend. The only people to whom I am closer are my husband and my sister. My friend's family and mine joke that she and I "share a brain." Each family calls the other "framily" (somewhere between friend and family), our kids describe each other as cousins when talking to other people, and I refer to her as my anam cara, or "soul friend." And last Thursday, after two weeks in the hospital and a surgery to remove some of her colon, she found out she has stage 3 colon cancer (at the age of 43 -- far too young for age to be a risk -- and with no family history or predisposing factors), and is about to start six months of really intense, brutal chemotherapy.

A few other things you should know about this friend: (1) her ten-year-old daughter is catastrophically ill, and has been since she was eight months old. She wasn't expected to live past three years old. She's had a central line for most of her life, had a five-organ transplant about three years ago, and since then has gone through five rounds of rejection and had two separate immunosuppression-related cancers. And (2) my friend is a flute teacher, with a private studio. If she doesn't work, she doesn't get paid, and she doesn't have unemployment insurance or any of the coverage that those of us who are not self-employed get to have.

And some days, for me, it just feels like it may not be worth gnawing through the restraints. But I'm still eating pretty well, and I'm still going to CrossFit - because, although I feel completely useless right now, there will come a day when I can be of use, and I need to be healthy and whole to do it.

Thanks for 'listening.'

=========================================

I don't know why it went all italics-y throughout . . . Sorry about that.

[Wicked Pixie]

This absolutely breaks my heart!

I'm so glad she's you anam cara- I've re-read that book so many times-it touches me in the most intense way, every line, every word speaks to me.

I don't know your friend, or really you for that matter, but I really want to tell you that my heart goes out to you both and I'm sending all the positive vibes I can muster up!

Know that your love for her is felt and just tell her as often as you can. and kiss that baby!

Hugs!!

[morethanjustamom]

Something to lift your spirits and hopefully give you hope:

(deep breath...I don't tell others about this much)

My brother's wife is 29. When she was 27, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer with metastases to the liver, gall bladder and breasts. They had two children 2 and under at the time.

In the past year+, she has undergone a lot of chemo, lost all her beautiful hair, and had two surgeries. She has gone through hell and back, and my brother too. Thank God he's in the military, where he can provide for her, be there for their children and receive excellent medical care.

She's gone from too many tumors to count to less than a handful, and hopefully she'll be healthy enough to have the surgery that will put her in remission in the next six months. She recently spoke at and ran in a 5k for colon cancer research and treatment, her very first athletic event.

There is hope, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and with the love and support you will give your friend, there can be complete recovery.

[Mama T]

hi LRB - very sorry to hear about your friend. my thoughts are with you and her. in the meantime, a lighthearted diversion:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/13-simple-steps-to-get-you-through-a-rough-day

[LRB]

hi LRB - very sorry to hear about your friend. my thoughts are with you and her. in the meantime, a lighthearted diversion:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/13-simple-steps-to-get-you-through-a-rough-day

Awesome. Thanks! I loves me some diversions these days.

[Mama T]

Awesome. Thanks! I loves me some diversions these days.

my days are spent finding ways to be productive after all my diversions. also another thing i've found to help take my mind off things - looking for images to make a wall of goals: http://www.yesandyes.org/2012/03/your-gorgeous-wall-o-goals.html

[unicornassassin]

Okay, here are some jokes. I tried to format it so that you have to highlight the answer, I hope it works.

Q: Hey, have you seen that new movie "Constipation?"

A:

No? oh, yeah.... well it hasn't come out yet

Q: What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

A: I don't know and I don't care.

So a buddhist goes to a hot dog stand and says "make me one with everything." *drum roll*

He gives the vendor 20 bucks, and the vendor keeps it. The buddhist says "hey, where's my change?" And the vendor says "Change comes from within." *drum roll*

Q: Hey, have you heard that new rash joke?

A: Ah, I'd tell you, but you'd probably just spread it around.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?

A: You'd think it would be the arrrrrrrrrrrrrr, but it's actually the C/sea!

Thank you, thank you!!!! I'll be here all night! Don't forget to tip your waiters!

[morethanjustamom]

Here's one my son (11) told me last week:

Q. Where does a king keep his armies?

A. In his sleevies!

[LRB]

Some of my favorites: http://www.diduask.com/punny2.htm

How did the farmer know he was good at what he did?

A: He was out standing in his field.

[unicornassassin]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/13-simple-steps-to-get-you-through-a-rough-day

So funny, and so cute!

Here's one my son (11) told me last week:

Q. Where does a king keep his armies?

A. In his sleevies!

OMG that is adorable!

[Oogiem]

It's from 3 years ago but here's something to make you smile I hope:

[Maj. Bloodnok]

So sorry to hear about your friend. Sending prayers for her and for you.

And now, teh funny!

Why do bagpipers march when they play?

To get away from that horrible noise!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Phillip Glass.

How surrealists does it take to change a lightbuilb?

A fish.

How many bluegrass fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Seventeen. One to change the lightbulb and sixteen to complain that it's electric.

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley.

Hope this helps...

[Mama T]

Some of my favorites: http://www.diduask.com/punny2.htm

How did the farmer know he was good at what he did?

A: He was out standing in his field.

ha! <3 it.

[Morrigainz]

I'm sorry to hear the news. No doubt it's going to be a tough few months for you.

joke of the day: A limerick about Edmund Halley

From the public, his discovery brought cheers.

From his wife, it drew nothing but torrents of tears.

"For you see," said Ms. Halley,

"He used to come daily;

Now he comes once every 70 years!"

[Librarian of Doom]

Big hugs! I know it's hard, but taking care of yourself will help you be able to take care of her, too.

The best prayer I know:

I do not ask for a path with no trouble or regret.

I ask instead for a friend who'll walk with me down any path.

I do not ask never to feel pain.

I ask instead for courage, even when hope can scarce shine through.

And one more thing I ask:

That in every hour of joy or pain, I feel the Creator close by my side.

This is my truest prayer for myself and for all I love, now and forever.

--Tyger, Tyger by Kersten Hamilton

And now, a joke!

Q. What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick!

[VorJoshigan]

I don't have much, but I will say that I admire your strength in overcoming your natural aversion to asking for help. I also admire your ability to make and keep such a close friend. Friendships take work, and the fact that you are so close means that you have done lots of good work.

[HorrorGeek]

My personal favourite (no religious offense intended...please just see this as the joke that it is)

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up

his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But,

all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic ..

And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from

eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from

the grilled venison steaks was causing such a

problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally

talked to their Priest.

The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested

he become a Catholic. After several classes and

much study, Bubba attended Mass ... And as the

Priest sprinkled Holy Water over him, he said,

"You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist,

but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until

Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma

of grilled venison again filled the neighborhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors

and as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a

rosary prepared to scold him, he stopped and

watched in amazement.

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of

holy water he carefully sprinkled over the grilling

meat and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, you

wuz raised a deer, but now you'se a catfish!"

[LRB]

My personal favourite (no religious offense intended...please just see this as the joke that it is)

Ha! Thanks for that. I took American Sign Language in college (graduated in '92, so this was a while ago) and we had to 'give a speech' of some sort for our final (it was videotaped). I told that joke. Thanks for the awesome memory!

[AuroraNorth]

I send hugs, good thoughts, the knowledge that if they do remove her colon she can live without it (I've been doing so for 20+years) and one of my favorite pieces of fanfic:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3124159/1/Just_a_Random_Tuesday

A VERY long Tuesday in the life of Minerva McGonagall. With rampant Umbridgeitis, uncooperative Slytherins, Ministry interventions, an absent Dumbledore and a schoolwide shortage of Hot Cocoa, it's a wonder she's as nice as she is.

This story always makes me cackle like a loon.

Minerva opened the door to the staff room, expecting to see a pot of tea and, if she was lucky, some ginger newts. She was not expecting to see Sybill Trelawney sitting on Severus Snape's lap, singing about 'Raindrops on Roses and whiskers on kittens' while attempting to punctuate each line with kiss on one of his cheeks. However Minerva firmly believed that sometimes the unexpected could be better than what had gone before… Thought's of blackmail danced merrily through her head as she watched the scene unfold gleefully.

[Komnenos]

I was having a really bad morning the other day when this man came up to me and said "hit me with your rhythm stick, you four-eyed idiot!"

That was just adding insult to Ian Dury.

[unicornassassin]

I was having a really bad morning the other day when this man came up to me and said "hit me with your rhythm stick, you four-eyed idiot!"

That was just adding insult to Ian Dury.

BWHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAA!

That is freaking hilarious!