Help!

[Canuckssie]

Hi,

I'm a Canadian lass living in Perth, Australia. I've been in Australia long enough that I plan to go for my citizenship in September of this year.

A really good friend of mine posted Staci's story on his fb feed and since I read it, I've been on this site for the last 4 days reading many of Steve's blog posts and wondering if this might be the way to get the kick in the pants I need.

You see, I'm not fat or overweight...just out of shape...and I'm starting to get squishy looking I guess. My fitness journey has really been all over the place.

At the end of 2006, I got glandular fever (North Americans know it as mono) which really screwed up my life in so many ways. It took me almost a year to get over it. And when I did, I become more active. 2007 to 2009 I was living in South Korea where once the mono was out of my system, I took up scuba diving, swing dancing and Taekwondo.

I LOVED Taekwondo! I did it for a full year, 5 days a week and got into the best shape of my life. My Master was very good at making sure I got a good dose of various exercises to help me build up my strength, flexibility and stamina. Thanks to him, I accomplished my very first push-up. By the time I got my black belt, I could do 10! Might not sound like much, but for me, it was BIG! I was that kid who always got a failure mark because I couldn't do a single push up in gym class.

So what happened? Well, I left South Korea in 2009 and tried to find a dojang that would suit me. Sadly, the way Westerners teach Taekwondo ruined it for me. In Korea, there was much emphysis on building your strength and correctly exicuting a strong front/side/back kick. I also loved the emphysis they placed on the poomsae (forms). The schools I found here in Australia were expensive and all about how to kick the shit out someone or how to defend yourself from a knife attack. I went to a few try out classes and though I had a 1st degree black belt, I wasn't at their standards for my level, not physically fit enough and I was given the impression that if I needed to get physically stronger then I'd have to do it in my own time and not at the dojang. So I've quit Taekwondo.

I still love Swing Dancing and I try to do it once a week for two hours. But that's not enough to get back into the physically fit bracket I want to be in.

Anyway, I've tried going to the gym. Last year, I was training about 3 times a week with a trainer but within 3 months my trainer and I were having difficulty finding session times that we could both make it to. I also suffered a very serious bout of depression last year that really...messed me up for a time. I didn't mind going to the gym but without someone there to push me, or to help me keep track of how many reps I was doing on the machines, I just stopped going.

I'm here in Perth and I'm still facing some of the problems I had when I living out east. Mainly the depression/lonelyness I've been feeling. My housemate who is a very good mate of mine and who likes to work out and exercise...well, I was hoping he'd get me motivated to join him. But his attitude at me joining him and having him help is...well, it's more demotivating than anything. How? For one thing, he's focused on getting himself into shape and I slow him down. He also likes to work out at home late at night. His schedule doesn't work for me and he isn't willing to adjust and I just can't stay up as late I used to. Also exercising that late will keep me awake up longer than I want. I learned that from doing my Taekwondo lessons from 10pm to 11:30pm (I finished work at 9pm) on week nights in South Korea. Yeah, they're crazy over there but I miss them!

I joined a boot camp which I was loving until the rain and the cold turned me off (it's all outdoors).

And now I'm starting to look into trying the gym and personal trainer root again but it's the cost of it all. I don't know if it's worth the money especially if I can't stick with it. That, and I'm only living in Perth for this year and then I'm planing on moving back to the east coast, to my job that's waiting for me there. Plus money stresses me out especially when I don't have enough of it to do all the things I want to. Then again, I'm doing well seeing as I don't have much of a social life anyway. Case in point? It's Saturday night and I'm here writing this thread >_< I have no one to go out with and I don't like going out by myself.

And I am one of those people who just can't work out at home. Home is where I come to relax. Working out, for me, is not relaxing, it's work and should be done outside the home.

You're probably wondering about my diet, eh? Well, I mainly eat like a vegetarian but I'll buy meat when I can afford it. I find myself having salads for dinner most nights and pasta for my lunches. I have a weakness for fruit and I eat at least two servings a day (usally a banana and an apple). I have an "Up and Go" for my breakfast in the mornings. I know they're full of sugar but I'm doing relief teaching work at the moment so they're great for that last minute call and I have only 10 minutes to get out the door. I think the way I eat these days is the one reason why I haven't gained horrible amounts of weight. But I have gained and I am finding myself constantly tired (and bored too).

I'm all over the place aren't I? Sorry about that but if you've read this far, thank you so much!

I do have some goals though. I am going home to Canada for a few weeks and I'd like to tone up enough that all the clothes I bought from home last year, will be too big for me (instead of too tight, another sign that I've gained weight) and I'll have to buy some more. One of my best friends, who is trained personal trainer and certified physio therapist, has been telling me for YEARS that if I want to get in shape, all I have to do is lift heavy stuff. This is why I've read the article on Staci at least 3 times now and that I've spend the past four days reading up on the Paleo diet and what not. I want to go home and show him that yes, I can lift heavy things now too

Sorry this is becoming more long winded than I intended but I don't know how to write it in a more clifnote form.

I want to do this. I just need someone to help me, to motivate me, to support me and to guid me. And I want it to stick this time too.

So I'm joining the Rebellion. I'm ready. I think...

[shortstuff]

Welcome, you have came to the right place, that's for sure,

Also your not the only one without much of a socal life - I'm in the same boat, I think the fact that it's Saturday night, and I just finished reading your thread and am now replying to it proves it.

[Ghost]

Ditto that shortstuff.

Welcome to the Rebellion Canuckssie!

[Weazley]

Welcome! (And YAY! for almost getting your citizenship)

I had no idea that Glandular fever and mono were the same thing. Learn something new everyday!

I had Glandular fever when I was in year 7 (so 12 years old or so?) and that knocked me out for the best part of 6 months (Mum thought I was just putting it on, and not actually sick, whoa was that a guilt trip and a half when the doctor told her!) So I completely sympathise with what you went through.

You can't rely on your housemate/friend to motivate you - you need to motivate yourself. The fact that he likes to exercise at different times to you, and isn't on the same 'level' as you is always going to make it difficult. I know for me personally, even though my partner is supportive and really want to exercise with me - I tell them no as I consider it part of my 'me' time. I like to zone out, I'm not doing it to socialise. Which I think is a bit hard on him because he does actually want to do it with me, but well tough cookies

If you are only 'buying meat when you can afford it' I'd really question the worth of the gym or a PT. I realise that you don't want to work out at home - what about running? or are there any playgrounds nearby where you could use the bars for workouts and strength exercises?

Lifting heavy stuff is an awesome goal, and I'm easing myself in trying to get good form with stuff like Steve's Beginner Bodyweight Strength training.

Good luck and welcome to the rebellion!

[afflictionreckoning]

Even if you can't afford a gym or classes, there's plenty of bodyweight exercises you could do. The Angry birds workout comes to mind. I haven't done it but it looks great for people with little gym access. Also try yoga. People don't realize how well yoga can strengthen your body and your muscles (I don't like using the word tone, because muscle tone actually refers to the muscle's resistance to passive stretch). Try running and walking or biking to work instead of driving. There's plenty to do. Find something you love and just do it. Something you love so much you'll do anything else to become better at it. The rest will follow. =)

[Pat G]

Gday Canukssie,

i'm sure Perth isn't anywhere near as cold and rainy as Canada is.

Lifting heavy, as per your witnessing of Staci's transformation, is the key to whats happening to several of our female members, muscling up + losing weight at the same time.

If you can't afford a gym membership, don't sweat it, http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/workouts/ , Steve has provided a few great programs, For starters may i suggest, Angry Birds, Beginner Bodyweight or Playground workouts.

[Canuckssie]

Thanks for the welcomes guys. I should clarify one thing. I'm SICK to death of being alone. Being a 31 year old female foreigner in an English country is very hard social wise. I won't go into specifics but I have an over abundance of 'ME' time. Simple things like going for a walk or ride a bike used to be fun even when alone. But I've been alone for sooooooooo long now that I really can't stand doing anything active by myself. I sound like a baby don't I? But really, it's at the core of a lot of what I'm struggling with.

Today I drove by a gym near my place that I never noticed before so I stopped and had a look at it. Couldn't hurt right? Well, it didn't. It gave me a few things to consider and tomorrow I'm going for a free work out/introduction to the gym via a private trainer. I was really specific in telling them I wanted someone with lots of free weight training/knowledge. So I hope the manager gave me someone good.

I also defined my goals a bit better:

1. Finish off all crappy food in my house (not much, just half a loaf of bread and some ice cream). The rest of my food is all healthy and most Paleo stuff I didn't know I had!

2. I want to lose enough body fat that my pants that I currently own are no longer tight around the thigh and butt area.

3. I want to be toned enough to rock the Baby Doll Sucker Punch costume for Halloween.

I'm waiting for a few pay cheques to come in to crunch a few numbers and I plan on checking out two more gyms in the area and see how that goes. So, I'm moving...slowly but surely at the moment.

[Mike Pants]

Many welcomes. You've come to the right place. There's lots of people on here who are in the same boat as you are -- out of shape, in need of motivation, and socially isolated. Believe me, I know all too well how all those things can get you down, but from now on, you have a community of people who understand what you're going through. We're all nerds, after all. We're all socially isolated to some degree.

Since budget seems to be weighing heavily on your mind, I would scrap the gym idea completely, if it were me. Since you haven't been doing any weight training at all, doing body-weight exercises might be a more productive use of your time for now, and they have the added benefit of being free. When I first started out on NF, 90% of my workouts consisted of dips (or trying to), pull-ups (failing to), body-weight squats, lunges, and push-ups, and let me tell you, they kicked my butt up and down the street and never felt sorry for me. Focus on that and getting your diet on the right track and you're going to feel 100% better about yourself in no time.

[Canuckssie]

Thanks for the welcome Mike.

I am a nerd but that's not why I'm isolated.

I'm isolated because all the people I meet are travelers who come in and out of my life on a breeze. I'm isolated because when I do go out, men see me as something they can have sex with and women see me as some foreigner who's trying to steal their man or who is trying to take over their turf. I've tried making friends with work colleagues but they are always busy with their husbands/boyfriends/kids/friends. I can't tell you many times I've messaged a friend during my free time and ask to hang only to hear back (that's if they bother to reply at all) that they are at some party and sorry, they can't hang out just now. People who I've met and gotten along with never invite me along to things because they keep me at the aquaintance level for some reason. That's why I'm isolated. My isolation has nothing to do with me being a nerd. And I'm isolated to the point where I can not motivate myself to get off the couch and do x# of squats or what not in my own home.

If people are just going to keep telling me that I need to just go to a park or do it at home BY MYSELF then maybe this isn't the right place for me after all

**sigh**

[Canuckssie]

P.S. Budgets always way heavily on my mind. It's the only way I can afford the things I do...which isn't much but at least I'm trying to spend my money on something other than...well, gas, food and the occaisional movie...oh, and paying off my debts.

[Mike Pants]

It's important to understand why everyone is suggesting the park and home workouts: because those will meet your fitness goals best right now if not your social needs. Most of the people on here will tell you that, yes, it's great to have a strong support system on your journey and even the occasional workout buddy, but for the most part, fitness is not a social activity, especially weight training. That's a time to focus on you and getting stronger and more fit for yourself.

As far as social isolation goes, if old patterns are not working, forge new patterns. If texting people to hang out leads to disappointment, text different people. Don't try and make friends with people with children if schedules don't ever seem to match. Heading out to a bar leads to creepy pick-up lines? Don't go to those bars anymore. In every example you listed, the one common denominator was you, so you're going to have to be the one to make the changes, not the people in the bars or your work colleagues. Check out Steve's "inspirational articles" in the Free Resources section. It sounds like it might be time to start doing things that scare you: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/01/20/why-you-need-to-do-sh-that-scares-you/

[Pat G]

Hey,

The only reason i'd suggested the park or angry birds was because i wasn't too sure of if your budget could handle a monthly membership. Gyms are great places to workout with like minded people, classes and whatnot are excellent for that kind of thing.

In saying that, are there hobbies or clubs you might be interested in joining? Sure that those people won't be turning you away for trying to steal their turf or fellas.

Also, i promise you, not all Australians are like that, not all of us are dumb and drunk.

Chin up. Let us know how your session with the PT goes!

[azsf]

ahoy there canuckssie! i'm a Perth local, so maybe i can help you out so first off, what suburb are you living in? you've said that you want to start "lifting heavy" and that's definitely a good start, but that doesn't necessarily mean you need a "gym", you could always go rock climbing, get back into dancing (the belgium beer cafe on kings st has swing nights on sunday i think), or brave the cold mornings and head down to jacobs ladder! i don't really know any taekwondo gyms sorry...

hope your introductory workout at the new gym went well. if you have any questions about the city or wanna arrange a workout or something just ask

edit! just read your other post in find a sidekick; freo is a little too far out for me to catch up for regular workouts, but i can probably fit something in on the weekend.

[Canuckssie]

Thanks for the offer Azsf! I might take you up on that when I quit the restaurant job.

Now that a few pay cheques arrived and I've acquired more info on a few gyms I am now better prepared to crunch some numbers and see if I can afford going to the gym.

I really enjoyed my free gym session today. My legs are sore already so I'll be having a nice bath to help with that. I really liked the gym I was at tonight. The staff were really great in answering my thousands of questions and the PT I had was great and seemed quite knowledgeble.

I know working out in a park is cheaper but...I don't know how to explain it. I'm really lonely and it's been tough. I spend 4 years in Melbourne and tried really hard to get into different things over there and having much of it blow up in my face. I've been taking things slow and am enjoying myself once again. The loneliness I feel however, well, I could cut into blocks and sell it.

So I'm making changes. Going to the gym isn't to socialize with people but really, it's just to be around people and not feel out of place. I don't go to bar by myself. Haven't done that since I left Korea. Plus, I'm not much of a drinker so I can't add it to my 'hobbies'.

I am attending swing class when the restaurant doesn't screw me over and make me work that night shift and I sometimes go to the Mustang on Fridays if I'm not working then either. I work the weekends and some weekdays but I had specifically asked for Thursdays to stay open so that I could go to class.

Anyway, I've also been watching the meat prices. I picked up some chicken that was on special as well as some minced beef. Made some awesome stuffed capsicum with the mince. I just fried up some onion, celery and garlic. Added the meat, some basil, some parsley, some vegetable seasoning my housemate had, some peper and carrots. When the meat was cooked, I added some tomato and zucchini. Then I took it and stuffed it into a red capsicum and baked it all for 20 minutes in the oven. DELICIOUS! I cheated though and put a bit of cheese on top. Couldn't help myself.

It's interesting, ever since I left Canada, I've significantly dropped my consumption of milk. I used to drink about 4ltr a week. Now I buy a litre every fortnight or so...if that. Cheese however is a weakness of mine. I LOVE cheese. But I am cutting back on that too. And as I previously mentioned, I eat lots of vege and fruit so I just need to let go of the pasta and increase the meat.

Small steps. I should know by next Monday if I can afford the gym. 1st of the month is coming and EVERYTHING is due then. But budget wise, I think I can make it work!

[Mike Pants]

I know this is going to sound really, REALLY cliche, but I'm going to say it anyways because it's rung true for me lately. I'm in the middle of a massive breakup of a 4.5-year relationship, and the loss of the companionship threatened to take hold of my mood in a big way. I'm not someone who makes connections with other people easily, so I was worried about the emotional fallout. In past breakups, it's usually enough to plunge me into a months-long depression. This time, though, everything was different because I had been spending so much time focusing on bettering myself. I'm active, I'm exercising my mind (learning a new language), I'm thinking a lot about the foods I eat, I'm taking on projects around the house I never would have tackled before -- I'm frankly so busy, I haven't had time to bemoan my loss or wallow.

So the cliche is that bettering yourself, building confidence in who you are and who you want to be, will work wonders towards focusing your mind places besides your loneliness. And who knows? Maybe that confidence will attract people you will want to spend time with and vice versa. I know, it's all very platitude-laden; I told you it was a cliche. That said, the excitement evident in your last post compared to the hopelessness in the first one tells me that there might be something to it.

I'm thrilled that your adventure has already begun. Please keep us updated.

[Canuckssie]

As much as I enjoyed my free PT session yesterday, I am incredibly sore today. My legs especially. It doesn't seem to matter how much stretching I do, I'm still hobbling wherever I walk. I'm about to head for a soak in the tub with a good book but I was wondering, how do you minimise the "next day pain"? Suggestions?

[Horsedog]

Hey Canuckssie! The "next day pain" (delayed onset muscle soreness - DOMS) is one of the most frequently sited reasons for not sticking with an exercise program. The good news is, the longer you stick with your program, the less intense the DOMS will be over time (for me, after 2 weeks of a given program, the DOMS is reduced to a nice, satisfying "Ahhh, I worked out yesterday" feeling...not painful at all!).

The research on stretching to reduce the soreness doesn't seem to bear much fruit. That is, it's not all that effective overall (although it can help isolated muscle tightness). One of the best ways to reduce DOMS is through active recovery - just do some low-intensity stuff like walking or whatever to get the blood flowing. The research on this is much more positive. Also, epsom salts are GOLD. Just add 'em to the bath and relax!

'Course, the best way to not get as sore is to dial-down the intensity of the workout in the first place Especially if it's a new program, or you're new to exercise in general, ease into it.

[GingerWarrior]

'Course, the best way to not get as sore is to dial-down the intensity of the workout in the first place Especially if it's a new program, or you're new to exercise in general, ease into it.

I'm having this problem today. I'm supposed to continue my Angry Birds Workout, but this is the second day in a row that I've had DOMS since I had my first workout. I didn't feel pain during the workout, just a nice challenge. I really want to get back into it today, but I don't want to hurt myself. Any recommendations on what I should do...?

[LRB]

re: dealing with DOMS -- my experience has been that it is inactivity that leads to soreness. If I'm sore, I grit my teeth (metaphorically) and do a gentle, but not insignificant, workout to warm the muscles up and get them doing whatever it is they do to heal.

As for the OP -- can you take a class somewhere? Find a dojang where South Korean expats study TKD? Find a hobby and then look on meetup.org (at least I think that's the url) to see if there are people getting together to do what you do? Maybe instead of taking a swing dancing class, you could see if there's a pub that has a swing dancing night? Or organize one yourself (at a local pub) and invite people from your dance school?

In the meantime, stop listening to the voice inside your head that tells you that if such-and-such didn't work last time, it won't work this time either. You're in a new place, with new motivations and a new routine. Maybe working out alone, but then going to a book discussion at a local bookstore, is the way to go.

[Cléo Xymore]

Hey Canuckssie, just wanted to say congrats for trying again and again through what sounds like difficult years. It's so hard to get the exercise habit to stick, but that is really your depressive thoughts trying to protect themselves from all the wonderful energy and well-being you'll gain by exercising... Sort of like trying to quit smoking, every attempt is a success in and of itself, I believe.

Like LRB, I was going to suggest following Korean expats to find a dojang that might suit you better... And also I wanted to suggest two articles: one is the recent Goonies guide to your city on NF and the other... Well it is embarassingly girly, but since the blogger was an expat in Australia at some point in her life, I'll girl up and post this article despite my glittery reservations. Perhaps just having more fun is going to help you meet the type of people you want to meet.

Good luck!

[Horsedog]

I'm having this problem today. I'm supposed to continue my Angry Birds Workout, but this is the second day in a row that I've had DOMS since I had my first workout. I didn't feel pain during the workout, just a nice challenge. I really want to get back into it today, but I don't want to hurt myself. Any recommendations on what I should do...?

Sometimes (often, if you're just starting out) DOMS is worse on day 2 post-workout than on day 1 If you're so sore that the workout isn't feasible, do a lighter version (i.e., drop the number of reps or sets) and increase intensity gradually until you can hit the prescribed workout numbers. Keep at it, though! The DOMS subsides after a while (unless you're really punishing yourself every single workout). Good luck!

[Horsedog]

Sometimes (often, if you're just starting out) DOMS is worse on day 2 post-workout than on day 1 If you're so sore that the workout isn't feasible, do a lighter version (i.e., drop the number of reps or sets) and increase intensity gradually until you can hit the prescribed workout numbers. Keep at it, though! The DOMS subsides after a while (unless you're really punishing yourself every single workout). Good luck!

Um, this is assuming you're not injured. If you think you've really hurt yourself, I'd be heading to see a doc or something

[Canuckssie]

Thanks for all the info. I am still in pain. Not as bad yesterday. A good friend of mine recomended foam roller exercises to help loosen tense muscles after workouts. I'm going to see if the gym has those and use them. I spent two hours walking around the mall today. One to keep my legs moving and two to find something to wear to a friend's upcoming birthday party. The shopping trip itself was a bit of a failure (didn't find anything I liked to bother trying it on) but at least the walking seemed to help a bit. I'm hoping the the pain will be gone by the weekend and that Monday (probably Tuesday depending on work) I'm going to start my non-contract membership at the gym and book a session with a PT as soon as possible to plan a work out for me. This means I'll be putting up stats on the workout log book sometime this weekend. So here's to taking the plunge!

[Horsedog]

Good luck! Keep us posted

[Canuckssie]

Legs are almost feeling normal today! Yay! And I just got another pay cheque and it looks like on Saturday after work (if my shift finishes on time), I'm marching to the gym, signing up and booking my first PT session. My goal for next week is go to the gym at least 2 times and work out for 30 minutes. I'm feeling pumped about this