Wills

[lemongranita]

My husband and I need to write wills, just in case, if only to save one of us a lot of legal hassle if the other dies suddenly. However we keep putting it off because of dithering over what to put in the "if we both die at once" section. I know it's unlikely and hey, if I've died I don't have to deal with the consequences, but it still worries me.

We don't have children and I've encountered too many cases of ill-feeling and soap opera-style family feuds over how money is divvied up to know what would be considered fair. My preference is to earmark a moderate lump sum for each of the nephews/nieces (to help with education costs/whatever) and the rest to charity. But I'm curious as to what other people have done.

[PrincessHeather]

I am planning to write a will sometime in the next year, since I will be travelling overseas to do a safari at the end of 2013, which I find to be increasing my risk of scary diseases of being eaten by a lion exponentially. Hubby isn't going, so I'mj not super worried about the "if we both die" portion, but I would say that you should do what YOU think is appropriate to do. If you want to leave EVERYTHING to charity, do it! Since you're being proactive in getting it on paper and official, there shouldn't be too much that your families can do to contest it (I'm sure a lawyer could help you understand your local laws and the possibilities). I wouldn't base it on what they'll think is "fair" but that's just me.

[Strawberry Squatcake]

Mine goes into my parents' trust if I die (no spouse or children). If my parents are still around, they're in charge of the trust, and us girls are all beneficiaries. I honestly don't care what they do with whatever I leave behind. But... When my grandpa died, the kids all got money and my aunt now says, "I wish Dad had said not to spend it until I was forty." so if you're worried about how it's spent, you can put the money into a trust until they're x age, too. Dividing it equally at your death, and in separate trust funds until they're 18, 21, 30, etc.

Or if you're generally just worried about pettiness, I'm not sure how to handle that. If for some reason you're closer to a sibling or niece/nephew or have a reason one should get more, have the money for the kids fall into trusts, amount undisclosed to anyone else. Or request to have the estate settled privately for each beneficiary. Meaning if they get straight cash, the checks are given out separately, and will is disclosed on a one-on-one basis.

Or if you really want to give to charity, just do it. Leave x for funeral expenses and to settle the estate, and have the rest go to your charity. It's your money!

[Raincloak]

Paralegal is gonna jump in here... I think you should worry less about what seems "fair," and more about what will stand up in court. If your will wasn't written with exact care, it may not be executable or legally valid and the question of fairness is moot. Plus your next of kin may choose to contest the will. It could get tied up in probate (an expensive legal process) for years, or the state might even get the property. In the meantime, it won't go to the people whom you intended to inherit it.

I urge you to consult an attorney who specializes in inheritance law, elder law, and suchlike. The more property you own, the more important this is. Make sure you FULLY understand anything you are asked to sign, and ask as many questions and explanations as it takes. (If your lawyer won't explain things, you've hired the wrong lawyer; fire him and choose another.) I also urge you to talk with the lawyer about living wills and power of attorney. The odds that you and your spouse will both die in the same accident are low, but there is a chance you'll both be incapacitated (or one of you dies and the other is incapacitated). If you're brain damaged, in a coma, or too injured to communicate, someone's going to have to make decisions on your behalf. You can designate someone you trust to do this.

I haven't got a will myself because I own very little, have no dependents, and I trust my next of kin to do as they see fit if I die or become disabled. But if I were writing a will, I'd appoint an executor (probably my father), specify what to do with my body, reserve a certain sum for my funeral and memorial costs, and the rest of my assets would be divided: half to be given to charity (I have a list of favorites) and my brother gets the remaining half. Stuff of little financial value, such as my clothing and housewares, the executor may dispose of as he sees fit. Though realistically, my meager assets would barely cover the cost of my gravesite, and my family would probably spend more than that on gifts to charity in my memory.

[Oogiem]

My husband and I need to write wills, just in case, if only to save one of us a lot of legal hassle if the other dies suddenly. However we keep putting it off because of dithering over what to put in the "if we both die at once" section. I know it's unlikely and hey, if I've died I don't have to deal with the consequences, but it still worries me.

Well FWIW my husband and I have a revocable living trust, into which all the assets are poured. We also have pour over wills to handle what I forgot to put into the trust if/when we kick the bucket.

For us we have no children and there were several critical issues, so we have a trust set up for the sheep, complete with a sheep protector who will not and cannot inherit anything from us, funded before anything else that is base don how many sheep we own at the time of our death. It's to allow the executor to wind down the farm without flooding the market with purebred rare breed sheep resulting in many being slaughtered and loss of bloodlines. Our heirs can't do anything to the farm or sheep until the trust expires. We also did not want to reward breeding so the nieces who inherit the farm share equally no matter how many kids they each have. (in the event one dies before us)

Get a good estate lawyer. The money we spent is vastly overpriced and worth every penny.

And more importantly, review your estate plans yearly, both your wishes and the laws change often enough to need constant maintenance.