LGBTQA and Ally Safe Space

[Latsu Swagneel]

Just an update for everyone, coming out has officially been put on hold again indefinitely. Too many transphobic posts on a trans infographic I posted to facebook. I can't handle the level of stress it would cause to come out right now. I can barely handle the level of stress I'm getting from just this.

I know it's been said many times, but you should do what you need to do for you. If coming out is contrary to your health, take as much time as you need. Nobody can force you to come out.

That being said, we here love you regardless.

Transphobic comments will always be a problem, so, while they may stress you out, remember that the people posting them are people who are not informed/misinformed about the reality of the facts/issues facing the Trans* community.

I came to a realization yesterday. I often say I'm not in transition yet, but I've really been in active work on transition for a year and a half. It's just my transition began with taking steps to heal the damage I've decided be to myself mentally for more than 30 yea s

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Transition doesn't necessarily have to be physical changes. After all, the definition is "movement, passage, or change from oneposition, state, stage, subject, concept, etc.,to another; change" (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/transition).

Bettering your mental health and taking steps to heal the damage that you incurred over the years is a form of transition in itself.

I'm sorry, but I've forgotten, if you don't mind my asking, have you already begun your physical transition as well?

Sent front phone. Any mistakes are its fault.

[BLSutherland]

Solitary, add another internet stranger to the list of people who support you. Stay safe, sir, and I hope you can find supportive friends even if you don't have a supportive family.

[Reluctant Amazon]

I have done anything medical. I've come out to my wife, my sister and a few others. I'm playing with my appearance, but there are still a lot if things in not certain on.

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[Jett]

Orchid,

 

Sorry people are so... inexplicably threatened by the idea of transition. I really don't understand it, but it sucks.

 

The people posting the transphobic comments of course have no idea that you're trans, so it gives you an interesting window into their minds. I bet that, for some of them, if they knew that their comments were directly impactful to you, they would phrase things differently. In other words, they aren't hurting you on purpose. But on the other hand, it shows you what they really think, which they might not say to your face if they knew. You'll probably be the first trans-person that most of them will know, so you get to bear the brunt of their misinformed opinions, which sucks. But you will most likely end up changing and opening their minds, once you are ready to come out to them.

 

By the way, that was really smart, to post the infographic first to test the waters. You need to keep your safety and your mental health as the main priority. It may become a balance, where you have to decide what is the most important thing to keep. But if you are not ready to come out now, then now is not the time. Hang in there, and know that you are supported by the trans community at large.

 

 

I found this comic today and sent it to my spouse, but it might be of interest to RA and others who are transitioning: http://www.justinhubbell.com/not-a-race-longform/

[zeroh13]

Ooo, that is a good comic. I think a lot of people (both trans* and cis) overlook/don't realize that there are so many ways to transition, and that not all trans* people go through it.

Regarding coming out, testing the waters is probably the best way to figure out if it's the right time to come out. Or if it's good to ever come out to some people, IMO.

My wife is from a super religious conservative family, and after one horrible experience coming out to a cousin she decided it was best to never come out to the rest of her family. After we started living together (far enough away that her family would never see her) she was finally able to be herself. But at the same time she would have to go back to pretending to be who her parents wanted her to be whenever they talked on the phone.

I don't know how viable this is, but I've known a few people who made a separate account where they could be themselves (correct name and gender) and then only added the people who supported them.

[nightlight]

Who from this sub is going to CAMP NF? I'm going to try and put together an informal meet up for us. Let me know!

[hgtedo]

Hi everyone! I am just going to jump into the conversation here. 

 

I am a 33 year old English and History teacher and live in San Francisco, CA with my husband and our orange bob-tail cat named Cha-cha. We have been in the Bay Area for about a year. Before California, my husband and I were living in Japan (I was there for seven years and he was there for his whole life).

 

I just started my first challenge thread. I am really excited. I am looking to improve myself but would like to also make some friendly connections along the way.

 

 

Anyone here joining the next challenge? 

[zeroh13]

I'm going to be joining it, I just haven't had a chance yet to sit down to work out the details and write up a post. I just finished my first challenge last Sunday.

[hgtedo]

I'm going to be joining it, I just haven't had a chance yet to sit down to work out the details and write up a post. I just finished my first challenge last Sunday.

 

Congrats on finishing you first challenge! Awesome! Have you joined a guild this time around? 

[BLSutherland]

I'm signed up for the next challenge, over in recruit-land, hopefully eyeing the Adventurers if this challenge goes well.

[zeroh13]

Congrats on finishing you first challenge! Awesome! Have you joined a guild this time around?

I'm going to join the druids for this one, and then I might try the assassins after that.

[hgtedo]

I'm signed up for the next challenge, over in recruit-land, hopefully eyeing the Adventurers if this challenge goes well.

 

I am in recruit land too! I am looking to join the assassins after. I am so excited to get started. 

 

You all in the U.S. as well? I am in San Francisco. 

[BLSutherland]

I am in recruit land too! I am looking to join the assassins after. I am so excited to get started. 

 

You all in the U.S. as well? I am in San Francisco. 

 

U.S., yes, but clear on the other side! Central Virginia. I'm looking forward to getting started, too! Do you teach high school level? I taught high school science for a while before I went back to grad school.

[hgtedo]

Do you teach high school level? I taught high school science for a while before I went back to grad school.

 

Nice to meet another educator! I teach middle school. I taught high school at the start of my career but currently have been enjoying teaching seventh graders! I am pretty good friends with the science teacher at my school now we just planed a PBL together. 

 

Virginia is nice too, I am originally from New York. I love the San Francisco weather though.

 

Have you always been from Virginia? 

[Captain Badass]

Hey everybody, I'm a lifelong ally so hope I'm welcome here - it's always seemed obvious to me that consenting adults should be able to do what they want to do, etc. I suppose I'm 'genderfluid' - I don't feel like any particular gender, though I happily dress at either ends of the binary, should the mood takes me. I'm an actor, so have plenty of LGBT friends in my life. I've been criticised a lot by industry types that I'm 'too strong', 'too confident', even 'butch' once. I've actually played a couple of men in my career and felt at my most physically comfortable doing so - it's like I don't have to think about what I look like. Won't go into it here unless someone's actually interested, but really benefitted personally from a series of gender workshops I did with people from all sorts of identities.

 

So... if I had to box myself (and people actually agree with me on this), I'm a:

 

Straight acting gay man,

in a woman's body,

who's into straight but 'artsy' dudes.

 

I feel that I lucked out being born into a female body with my sexual preferences, and that I don't feel ascribed to any particular gender. I can't imagine how hard life would be if my identity didn't match my body. Transpeople are friggin' hardcore.

 

Am I allowed to be here then?

[Reluctant Amazon]

Hey everybody, I'm a lifelong ally so hope I'm welcome here - it's always seemed obvious to me that consenting adults should be able to do what they want to do, etc. I suppose I'm 'genderfluid' - I don't feel like any particular gender, though I happily dress at either ends of the binary, should the mood takes me. I'm an actor, so have plenty of LGBT friends in my life. I've been criticised a lot by industry types that I'm 'too strong', 'too confident', even 'butch' once. I've actually played a couple of men in my career and felt at my most physically comfortable doing so - it's like I don't have to think about what I look like. Won't go into it here unless someone's actually interested, but really benefitted personally from a series of gender workshops I did with people from all sorts of identities.

So... if I had to box myself (and people actually agree with me on this), I'm a:

Straight acting gay man,

in a woman's body,

who's into straight but 'artsy' dudes.

I feel that I lucked out being born into a female body with my sexual preferences, and that I don't feel ascribed to any particular gender. I can't imagine how hard life would be if my identity didn't match my body. Transpeople are friggin' hardcore.

Am I allowed to be here then?

No. BEGONE FROM MY SIGHT ABOMINATION.

Umm yeah hi. Welcome

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[Twilight]

Being genderfluid makes you LGBTQIA.  Welcome either way!

[nightlight]

Hey everybody, I'm a lifelong ally so hope I'm welcome here - it's always seemed obvious to me that consenting adults should be able to do what they want to do, etc. I suppose I'm 'genderfluid' - I don't feel like any particular gender, though I happily dress at either ends of the binary, should the mood takes me. I'm an actor, so have plenty of LGBT friends in my life. I've been criticised a lot by industry types that I'm 'too strong', 'too confident', even 'butch' once. I've actually played a couple of men in my career and felt at my most physically comfortable doing so - it's like I don't have to think about what I look like. Won't go into it here unless someone's actually interested, but really benefitted personally from a series of gender workshops I did with people from all sorts of identities.

 

So... if I had to box myself (and people actually agree with me on this), I'm a:

 

Straight acting gay man,

in a woman's body,

who's into straight but 'artsy' dudes.

 

I feel that I lucked out being born into a female body with my sexual preferences, and that I don't feel ascribed to any particular gender. I can't imagine how hard life would be if my identity didn't match my body. Transpeople are friggin' hardcore.

 

Am I allowed to be here then?

everyone is welcome here  

[ColoQ]

everyone is welcome here

Well not everybody...

[Reluctant Amazon]

Being genderfluid makes you LGBTQIA. Welcome either way!

This thread is LGBTQA ONLY. Intersex GTFOnly Kidding. Too many letters and labels.

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[Reluctant Amazon]

Well not everybody...

What about A.I.M., MODOK, and Baron Zemo?

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[Frost of the Gloaming]

Considering Red Skull was Mitzi Del Bra

 

 

Lol now I'm picturing Red Skull wearing the thong dress

[hgtedo]

This Morning: 

 

My husband: Is this French music? 

 

Me: Yeah, from the 1920's 

 

My husband: Any reason? 

 

Me: It's a 1920's France kinda' morning

 

My husband: YEAH! Bring on Edith Piaf!

 

He and I match so well. 

[Platzhalter]

Sounds like this is the right place for me

 

It actually took a while for me to identify myself as transsexual. It's not really because of not being sure who or what I am... but gender/sex didn't matter that much for me. I hardly ever had these 'men are like this and women like this'-thoughts. My social contacts/friends in school were mostly male though, if I had any.

Only a few years or so ago I finally thought of me as male. Before that, there was a long phase of trying to find out what suits me... and what makes me feel right and happy. Which was definitely necessary.

 

 

Not a fan of putting people into categories, but to make it easier... I'd probably describe myself as pansexual transman who doesn't give much on social norms concerning sex/gender.

[BLSutherland]

Nice to meet another educator! I teach middle school. I taught high school at the start of my career but currently have been enjoying teaching seventh graders! I am pretty good friends with the science teacher at my school now we just planed a PBL together. 

 

Virginia is nice too, I am originally from New York. I love the San Francisco weather though.

 

Have you always been from Virginia? 

 

Sorry, first day of the work week got a little frenetic...

 

I'm actually a native Kentuckian, and just moved here for grad school, though I love the state (especially the tiny liberal bubble that is Charlottesville). Wow, middle schoolers...you're doing good work, there! I mostly taught 10th-12th (my certification meant I was kind of jack of all trades, so I've taught everything from intro Bio to AP Physics...not my idea, I should add).