MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[realbrickwall]

I personally don't give much thought to the genitalia of my company. Most women in my life do as well or better at filling the relationship roles men are assumed to have with other men.

[Red1263]

I really have no Men's group in my side of the world This and the AoM website are the only places where I can get my Manly fix, my Father was a source, but he passed away and none of my brothers are anything close to that

[KillerGriller]

I have a couple groups of guy friends, and there are smaller groups within each greater one. I don't get to see them much simply because my day-to-day life is so busy with kids etc. At least the groups are pretty good about having "guys night out"s to keep us connected.

[muffunz]

My closest friend in the entire world is a woman, but my other close friends are mostly guys. Gender/sex doesn't really matter when it comes to platonic relationships, as much as people like to pretend it does.

[Guest Snake McClain]

my mustache looks awful and it's only day 8. i feel stupid. can i shave this yet?

[BarefootDawsy]

I've got a few work friends but we all work from home so rarely meet up IRL. I'm a bit isolated to be honest....not much social contact from either gender atm. Occupational hazard I guess. I need to find a running group...

[BarefootDawsy]

my mustache looks awful and it's only day 8. i feel stupid. can i shave this yet?

You must be one with your Mo. Trust it, love it and it will serve you well.

[bigm141414]

I've got a few work friends but we all work from home so rarely meet up IRL. I'm a bit isolated to be honest....not much social contact from either gender atm. Occupational hazard I guess. I need to find a running group...

Pretty sure Sydney has a Hash House Harriers chapter. It's a drinking group with a running problem. I used to run with my local chapter back when running was cool.

[Artinum]

my mustache looks awful and it's only day 8. i feel stupid. can i shave this yet?

Give it time. Perhaps you could wear a fake one on top until it's developed some more?

[Guest Snake McClain]

Give it time. Perhaps you could wear a fake one on top until it's developed some more?

Brilliant!

[bgvanbur]

I like how in the morning, my moustache finally stands apart from the rest of the facial hair I need to shave. I got a variety of comments on it yesterday at my wife's baby shower (I made an appearance at the end).

[KillerGriller]

Now that my team's photo day is done and I have some serious weekend stubble I've been considering rocking the handlebar mustache...hhmmm...aleinate my wife and possibly get no lovey time for the rest of the month or shave and miss my opportunity to facially rock out for 2 weeks? decisions, decisions...

[Guest Snake McClain]

yup. still looking god awful here. ugh.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Snake, It's always darkest before the dawn, in the words of Chuchill, "Young man, nevah, nevah, nevah give up!"

[Jcannon98188]

yup. still looking god awful here. ugh.

Me too! Figures the first time I EVER grow facial hair would be no shave november. And it looks baaaaaaaaaaaad

[TheRedWriter]

Sex is an unequaled intimacy between people. Whether its the greatest or most pure form of intimacy is an unresolvable debate, especially because not everyone experiences sexuality in the same way, but it cannot be simply compared to other forms of intimacy. If you have a partner with whom you intend to be intimate, not being on the same wavelength on sex is going to forever obstruct that oneness that might otherwise be achieved. As with our other desires (food, drink, entertainment, self-worth, I could go on), lacking proper sexual satisfaction makes us feel incomplete, whether that satisfaction is derived from having it once a week, once a day, or once a never-ever-ever-oh-god-why.

There's plenty of relationships that have managed despite not getting along in the bedroom. But, ultimately, it leaves at least one person, and maybe both people, unhappy with something that takes up a great deal of most humans' thoughts, wants, and needs. I know I would hate to do that to myself, much more so myself AND another person.

If all you're looking for is a business partner and room-mate who happens to provide you with progeny, then, hey, waiting until marriage and having no sex outside the marriage guarantees a solid, legitimate line, and keeps a lot of the paperwork easier. But, for a loving relationship, you need to consider happiness in all aspects of life. All of them.

Wow... Well said. Well said indeed. I couldn't have put it better.

[67alecto]

It can help to begin with some activity that provides the excuse to get together on a regular basis. "Let's just hang out" is not as effective as "Let's get together for activity X we all love and enjoy."

I can't remember where I picked it up, but I find this phrase to be true: if you want to meet new and interesting people, you need to do new and interesting things.

I joined a jeep club, and the range of people in it continues to amaze me. Careers range from several in law enforcement of some sort, mechanics, salesmen, people who own their own businesses, customer service jobs, marketing, lawyers, pharmacists, etc. If you have a problem or a question, chances are there's someone in the group who can assist you. In addition to frequent offroad trips, we also do work in the community, have meet and greets around the area, get together for social hours, have wrenching days where you can get help with your vehicle (or sometimes, stand around drinking and shooting the breeze, while occasionally handing someone a tool), as well as our regular monthly meeting.

My wife joined a SQL user's group and they gear towards knowledge sharing and networking.

[67alecto]

yup. still looking god awful here. ugh.

What's killing me is that I had a good mustache before this started. Growing a mustache has a period of several weeks between creepy stalker to Magnum, PI. It's easier to go the goatee route and then shave the lower section and then you can spare yourself that (outside of November, of course).

[TheSavageBean]

You guys are the best for motivation. Not to use you or anything, but I'm having a problem with it and just need an ear or words of wisdom.

It's actually wrong to say I've lost my motivation, it's more like I've achieved my goal. I got down to 80kg. This isn't my current goal (losing bodyfat/getting down to 72kg) but it was a goal a very long time ago. Back before I worked out or cared about myself (about two years ago) I was a typical 110kg WoW player. I was locked in the perception that I weighed 80kg and nothing could change that. One day, there was a sudden shock that I was a fat blob who played video games all day and was going to fail PhD and lose his girlfriend (both of which happened). Now, (finally) after building up momentum and knowledge, losing 15kg over a year and a half and then dieting on and off for the last 4-5 months I'm once again 80kg.

Some of the real goals I had when I started were:

-weigh 80kg

-Run 800m (because when I was a kid I walked it at little athletics)

-Run 20 minutes

-bench 60kg

-Lift 100kg

-be happy

I can do all those now. What was impossible to me two years ago is reality for me now. After realising this, well, I'm happy... but the new me isn't satisfied. If I were to set goals now for the next two years it'd be something like

-Run a half marathon

-Run 15kph for 30 minutes

-Bench 100kg (preferably more, but this is one of my weakest lifts so I won't go crazy)

-Lift 200kg

-Score a K.O. (or just generally "be good at boxing/sport")

-Maintain 10-15% BF

I have a bunch of general strategies to achieve the above, and it's not like I've stopped working out... but I guess I don't have enough will? I mean, society now views me as an active and healthy young man. There's no pressure. A lot of my old motivation two years ago to get the kick-start was hating myself and who I'd become.

Any comments/suggestions? Have you guys reached some old milestones? Were they... underwhelming once you got there?

I should mention I'm having particular trouble with diet. Because I find that the will to work out only takes about 20 minutes of talking yourself out of bed early to hit the weights, but the diet's what takes the real 24/7 dedication.

[Church]

I have a similar problem. I've achieved, or superseded all of my original goals and now it just feels like "ok mission accomplished. Quest over." I understand intellectually that I have essentially only completed level 1 of a long, long game, but emotionally I'm like. "WOOOOOO! I beat it! Go me!!!" It's hard to beat.

[Artinum]

Any comments/suggestions? Have you guys reached some old milestones? Were they... underwhelming once you got there?

I read 80kg and thought "that doesn't sound very much". I just can't work in metric for human weight (though, bizarrely, I use metric all the time when measuring ingredients and find an ounce means nothing to me). Thank goodness for conversion tools - 80kg=176lb (or thereabouts).

One of my old milestones was to be able to do push-ups. This is something I could never do in my youth, but with much sustained effort I finally managed it a few months back. Since then, they've been getting easier, and I knocked out 30 of them this evening. I couldn't imagine doing that six months ago. It's a small goal, pretty rubbish compared to such feats as running those 100km ultramarathons or those Warriors lifting more than their own bodyweight, but I don't find it at all underwhelming. If I have a bad patch, and I start to wonder if I can actually do anything more than I already have, I think to myself - "I can do push-ups". And then I get back to work.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

@SavageBean, my question for you is why do you want to achieve the second set of goals? Part of motiviation is having a reason to reach the next milestone. If you can figure that out, you'll be halfway to finding good motivation. It's like the scene in City Slickers when Curly (Jack Palance) holds up his finger when explaining the meaning of life to Billy Crystal's character. Billy asked what the finger meant and Curly told him it's different for every person, but if they can figure out what is most important in their life they can direct their energy toward preserving, protecting and improving other aspects of their life. Figure out that one thing (and if necessary, watch City Slickers), then we can help you much more effectively with motivation.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

I know what you mean Bean. I'm stronger now then I've ever been and run a 10 miler, I know there's nothing in the workout world I can't do as long as I train for it and have patience. Once I realized that, things don't seem that challenging anymore... Until I get under the bar. Then I realize I've got a ways to go until I'm a real beast. And that's what's keeping me motivated, not accepting just being above average in strength. I wanna be a beast, the best I can be, and I won't accept mediocrity. When I wasn't there, getting to average was acceptable. now that I'm there, I know I can be better than average.

Also, here is my mo update from the thread. Been putting conditioner in it while I shower every morning and it is getting pretty soft.

Tapatalks been down so I haven't been able to post from my phone. Here are the updates. I saw my friends on the 10th and they look equally rediculous.

Day 10

Day 12

Day 14

[smedly]

So I went to a Zumba class last night...

Now before everyone grabs a torch and pitchfork and marches over here demanding my man card let me tell you why-

A good friend of mine teaches the zumba class at my school and lately she has been coming to my Insanity workouts that I lead so I figured what the heck I'll come check out her Zumba class. Long story short I grabbed 2 of my other friends I do Insanity with and we went. We were all dreadful but had a blast. Besides us there was only one other guy there and a lot of girls who were quite amused with our attempts at Zumba.

TLDR- went to zumba, had fun, no regrets.

[Church]

Hey, real men are secure enough in their masculinity to do things like that.