Wow I hate myself...

[YoukaiLegend]

It would seem that there are a few people on this website that believe that to some degree. Maybe you don't flat out tell yourself that but being abusive to yourself with all the negative self talk is pretty much the same.

So hopefully this helps at least one person to feel better about themselves!

For a long time I was really hard on myself, to the point of mental abuse no yoke! If someone said I was pretty I would flat out deny it, I couldn't see and never understood how someone else could see this supposed "beauty", I'm 5'8 and o330 pounds not exactly a model. I constantly told myself that I had a bad singing voice, my mother was an opera singer how could I possibly compare to that? I constantly told myself I was bad at ear training and music theory, and I struggled with both as a result.

One day my awesome boss decided to try a psychological experiment with me. I had been going on about how bad I was at music theory when he went into his office wrote something up and printed it out. He then walked over to my desk, I worked in a music library at school, and taped the paper to my moniter. He said I didn't have to look at it or believe what it said I just couldn't take it down. He had printed "I am good at music theory" in giant, bold font over and over on the paper. It sat taped in front of me for the remainder of my shift. Needless to say I saw it over and over again and everytime I did I read it.

I took the paper home with me and the next day printed out ten copies of over a dozen positive affirmations that I didn't believe about myself; I'm beautiful, I have a good voice, I am good at bassoon, ect. I taped every single page up on my walls, they were plastered in them!

When I woke up in the morning they were there. Whenever I entered my room they were there. Now I lived in a house with 7 other roommates, so this was incredibly embarrassing if I left my door open, someone needed me, or had company over. But despite this, I left them up and I was constantly reading them dozens of times a day. It took awhile, but I started I started to believe what I read.

Now, I don't hate myself. When someone says I am pretty I believe it! I know I'm smart, that I'm good at music. I'm still 330 pounds, but I'm working on that and sometimes after exercising I forget how big I am, I'm just so amazed at what my body is able to do and how strong I am.

So what is this whole post about?

I challenge everyone who says or thinks negative things about themselves to print out positive affirmations and hang them where they will be seen! Hang 'em on the bathroom mirror, back of your bedroom door, the ceiling over your bed if that's what works! You don't have to believe them right now, just see them, read them, let the magic work on it's own

[guest439437484421]

That's awesome that you found a way to help encourage yourself!

[IcePrincess]

This is a great post!!! I have very similar issues. I might just have to try this myself. Thanks!

[Rubducky]

I think all of us know how it feels to doubt ourselves and think there really isn't anything worth redeeming in us. But there is! We are all beautiful, unique, and talented creations, and it's awesome that you found a way to remind yourself of the truth. It's also awesome to know that a place like this exists! A place with real people, beautiful people, just like me who are not perfect, but are nonetheless genuine and worth so much. It's great to have a community of real people who understand you on some level.

[GoToTheGround]

http://oneisthewarrior.tumblr.com/post/34255115535/oitw-017

[realbrickwall]

Eh. I like dwelling on my flaws. Drives me to attempt to fix them. If I didn't constantly berate myself for sucking, I think I'd practice even less often.

But I'm guessing that's not a good strategy for most people.

[bigm141414]

Eh. I like dwelling on my flaws. Drives me to attempt to fix them. If I didn't constantly berate myself for sucking, I think I'd practice even less often.

But I'm guessing that's not a good strategy for most people.

Well there is a subtle but important distinction between what works for you and what a lot of people feel.

The situation described above can be summed up as: "God I suck at <insert activity>. Period End"

Your situation can be summed up as: "God I suck, I know I can do better than this!"

First one is demoralizing because you don't see that you can be better. Second one is empowering because you know you can be better and are going to work at it. Subtle distinction but worth noting. I fall into the second situation now after spending most of my life in the first. Now I berate myself knowing that this isn't all I got. I can give more. I can try more. I can BE more than I am.

[notcreative]

I love this. It's important to be nice to yourself sometimes!

[micmac]

I'm fairly new, but I wanted to say this was a great post. I know that my struggles with self-image have a negative impact, not just on me but on those around me too. I may have to practice adding daily affirmations to my meditation!

[YoukaiLegend]

I may have to practice adding daily affirmations to my meditation!

Done that too, it sounds stupid when you start but it does make the day so much better thinking about all the good things!