There, and Never Back Again - The Journey Begins

[Arthritic]

     A furious winter's gale blew upon the mitten shaped land; this northern clime that Arthritic's mother calls home. From an early age it had been told to him of that night. The night of torturous ecstasy that only a mother can know or understand. His half-elf mother alone. His elven father, a sailor, somewhere opposite the earth at war upon the sea.

     Arthritic was not actually given the name Arthritic upon his birth. He was instead called Twinman. Twinman? This was a name he always found quite odd. Why twin? Was there something more to his story than he was ever told? Many times he has heard stories of that night, and yet no one ever spoke of the possibility of a twin. So perhaps not, however, there is one detail of the story of his birth that has been known to run through his mind on a regular basis. The deer.

     Why the deer? Though he has often thought as to why this one act might always walk within his mind, there has never been a reason that has proven itself clear. In actuality, the slaying of a deer is a simple matter. Especially when one is taken in the manner of the deer who lost its life on the night that Twinman was born.

     To add further to his confusion, is the fact that it was not a person close to him that killed the deer. His father's sister's husband, that weak minded dwarf was the one who claimed the deer's life. It was not something done in spite, vengeance or malice. It was not something done out of necessity, nourishment or hunger. It was in fact simply an accident. His uncle was out in that same blizzard, the blizzard that welcomed Twinman into the world.

     It was just one of those naturally occurring, unnatural occurrences that caused his uncle's steed to ride hard upon the side of an elegant beast of the woods and leave it there dead and alone. Black night, white drifts, red warmth turning cold. Why did he always think of that deer?

Being mostly elf, Twinman grew up tall and lean. Being partly human however is what brought in the deterioration. “Impure blood! That is most assuredly the cause.†many would say. The physicians never agreed, although most did not feel his disease was brought upon him due the nature of his blood.

     Regardless, there was young Twinman. Barely more than a decade of life, nothing more than a child, stricken now with a disease of the Ancients. The brain of a youth, but the body of an elder. And so it was that Twinman slowly decayed into Arthritic.

     Arthritic cared not much for his life. If he could help it he would never exert much energy, blaming either his disease or the tediousness of daily exercise. Arthritic ate what he wanted, when he wanted and never gave a second thought towards what he was putting into his gullet. His elven metabolism burned through any impurities. At least it did while he was young.

     By the time he was just passed his second decade upon this earth he stood six and a quarter feet, but was less than 10 stones in weight. It was at this point that Arthritic walked away from the trials so often given him by legal dealers and quacks. Instead, to help fight the pain he began a series of self medications that lasted for quite sometime.

     Now, in his 40^th year he has sensed a change. Long has his self medication included many of the dances of the druids, but alas his inability to focus or care has not lead to any true understanding or mastery of those dances. He has also recently taken to eating like the rangers. This new hunter/gatherer style of eating has energized him like never before. He feels the change is now.

     He has heard the trumpet's blast. He has heard the rebellion's call. He knows his name could have been translated Twinwarrior and now he understands where his lost twin has always been. Deep down inside, hidden beneath layers of overfilled, yet never satisfied storage areas, behind a door called lazy is trapped the warrior. It is time now for the warrior to arise and conquer.

     The rangers' way of eating has helped him already drop below 15 stones, but that is not enough. He wants more! He wants power and agility. He needs the rebellion's help for this. The One True God has told him that his body is a temple. Now it is time for this monk to find his dojo.

 

Tune in next week for the further adventures of Arthritic and His Journey to Tanba.

[Jakob Kopfeld]

Welcome to the Rebellion Arthritic!

I wish you an enjoyable stay here.

[Taijibum]

Mitten shaped land? You from Michigan too?

[Arthritic]

     On the day that Arthritic Twinman joined the rebellion he changed his name to Arthritic Twinwarrior. Perhaps changed is an incorrect word to use. For you see in his language the spelling is exactly the same. The pronunciation is exactly the same. Only the definition has been changed, so perhaps we should have said that this fledgling monk 'redefined' his name.

     Regardless, there was a feeling of empowerment that our hero felt on the day that he signed up for the rebellion. He could already tell something was different. Not in the way he looked. Not in the way he felt. More in the way he focused. His focus was different he was almost sure that this was the path he was destined to take. His journey to Tanba would be lifelong. The rangers' diet came so naturally, this seemed like the next logical step.

     As is the case with so many in his realm, Arthritic has a certain place he is obligated to be for a certain number of hours each day. His obligation lies within dank, crypt like halls. There at the end of a cross hall lies a room. This room is so often filled with screaming banshees, imps, angels, zombies and devils of various manners and sizes. It is his job to make sure these tiny creatures know the language of numbers. Currently, this room of luxurious torture is an hour's ride from our adventurer's abode deep within Dixie's Heart.

     When the earth slants its form in such a way that the sun's energetic eyes do not cast their loving glow upon the northern hemisphere for any length of time whatsoever, our hero must leave his home long before the light of morning dries the crystalline dew from off its perch. Such was the case on the morn that arose the day immediately after his enlistment.

     Normally, Twinwarrior loves riding along the roads on these crisp mornings. Especially on the misty, foggy mornings such as this. Having been raised in the foothills of the Mountains of Smoke, Arthritic often longed for the twisting and winding roads of his youth. On grey mornings such as this, it almost felt like home. A home these flatlanders could never understand.

     On this particular morning though, an act of the One True God would change the course of his plans and daily mission. Without a warning an empress of the forest crossed his path and like his steed rode hard up on her. As his uncle did within 24 hours of his birthing, so Arthritic did within 24 hours of his rebellious declaration against the life that that birth had become. Was it a sign, or was it just an accident? Only time will tell.

     After his first full week of the Journey to Tanba, Arthritic's has had to come to terms with something he has always known, but has never really focused upon. This journey is going to be long and at times very arduous, especially at the beginning. It may be out there. The path may lie right in front of him, but sadly it is not an easy path. Physical Health Through Nutrition, Exercise and Spiritual Study, or Phtness, is the name of this monk's path. Easy it is to begin. Hard it is to continue.

     After one steady week, some conclusions had to be drawn. Some decisions had to be made. What makes the man different than the warrior? Why is Twinman weak and how will Twinwarrior be strong? The path of Phtness has many stops long before one reaches Tanba. The first stops along the path had already been obtained before Arthritic joined the movement. The rangers' diet had started all of this and the monk never realized that he was on the path to Tanba until after the journey had already begun.

     The next steps are to walk the path until the man's weaknesses are turned into the warrior's strengths. It will take much crafting to make this happen. The man has never made a single push upward. The warrior wishes to do dozens a day. The man has never made one pull upward. The warrior will one day do many. The man's hands do not meet the floor if his knees are not bent. The warrior's palms shall. These and more shall be done as soon as possible.

     Twinman was slowly dying. Now it is time for him to speedily meet his demise. Twinwarrior is slowly growing. His time is now. His path is Phtness. His journey is to Tanba.