I need an artist!!!

[alienjenn]

I need an artist... who can draw... for a project (a book I am writing)... if I end up publishing said project... I will give full credit

 

I need a self esteem monster  

 

I am thinking of a bloby snotty fangy monster... 

 

I can't pay ... but if it becomes something I publish... like I said... full credit

 

 

 

[OkariXterrum]

I can draw. Can you describe more of the monster? What else does it look like, and how does the monster feel?

[alienjenn]

I can draw. Can you describe more of the monster? What else does it look like, and how does the monster feel?

I'm thinking of that monster that lives in my head and tells me I'll never be pretty... I'll never be good enough... I'll never be thin enough or strong enough... I'll never be enough...

He's all the men who ever called me fat... All the girls in the locker room who laughed when I wheezed... All the guys who didn't want to know me because big girls aren't their thing... He's my dad who called me thunder thighs... He's my ex husband who brought home a box of donuts to "soothe" me when another diet "failed" and told me that maybe God just wanted me to be big... He's the airline stewardess who sneered when the belt wouldn't fit... he's the sales woman who told me "people your size can't find anything here"... He's the gym teacher who laughed when I puked...

He's everything that ever contributed to my self hatred... he's ugly... And bloby...,

But he's weak... And he doesn't know it... He has no power but the power I give him... And he doesn't know it...

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[marybelle]

I cannot draw. But I think your book idea sounds wonderful. We all have our own negative voices in our head that we feed with our energy, and we can stop doing that and start viewing ourselves in a positive way! This is a subject close to my heart, and I wish you every success in your endeavor. 

Plus all those people are lame and dealing (badly) with their own insecurities. They think they can feel better about themselves by bringing other people down, and that is a sign of being a weak and ugly person. They are beneath you. I am sorry you had to deal with any of that.

On a positive note, you are a lovely and awesome. Before I even joined nerdfitness I had seen some of your photos in the photofeed and thought "How awesome is that? She is doing planks in some really cool places!" and it has given me motivation to hold my own planks a little longer. 

You are strong, beautiful, and successful. I am proud of you. 

[alienjenn]

I cannot draw. But I think your book idea sounds wonderful. We all have our own negative voices in our head that we feed with our energy, and we can stop doing that and start viewing ourselves in a positive way! This is a subject close to my heart, and I wish you every success in your endeavor. 

Plus all those people are lame and dealing (badly) with their own insecurities. They think they can feel better about themselves by bringing other people down, and that is a sign of being a weak and ugly person. They are beneath you. I am sorry you had to deal with any of that.

On a positive note, you are a lovely and awesome. Before I even joined nerdfitness I had seen some of your photos in the photofeed and thought "How awesome is that? She is doing planks in some really cool places!" and it has given me motivation to hold my own planks a little longer. 

You are strong, beautiful, and successful. I am proud of you. 

 

 

you kinda made me cry a little bit I love it when I motivate people... because I honestly don't think I do anything that is worth being inspired by! I just do what I love, and I do it to the fullest

 

 

 

I know now that all of those people have their own issues and insecurities... I know now that their feelings and reactions had nothing to do with me... I have taken enough psychology classes to understand that they are faulted... but... I internalized all that for so long... that it was added to my own internal voice... now the voice that is the loudest is the monster inside my head... who speaks with my voice...

 

I am going to start a battle log... and hopefully figure out the uploading of pics from my phone again... and this project will be written here in the battle logs... it will be an epic battle... I have fought this monster for more than 25 years... but... I have decided that he has no power to grow... and he has no power over me other than what I give him and I am done giving it to him

[marybelle]

Awesome! Good for you, girl! I understand that voice very well, my father was abusive and when you have that kind of crap from early on it screws you up a bit, until you learn how to deal with it. Hoorah on starting a battle log! I will be sure to check it out!

[alienjenn]

^{this is one submission... but... I think he looks too strong}

[obax]

Maybe that's the monster at the beginning of your journey? By the end, he'll be a wee little cub with nubby little horns and a soother in his mouth. Or perhaps just a dot on the distant horizon...

[alienjenn]

That's an awesome idea obax

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[Shawry]

Hey alienjenn, I cant see the concept you posted a few days ago, but I'm happy to help out and sketch a few things.

My first thought when reading your post was the blob alien from Futurama: http://astrobioloblog.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/h_g_blob.jpg

[alienjenn]

THANKS guys!!!

 

 

 

I think I might have my final draft...  I have a new rough draft that I made some suggestions on... and she is going to try to work it... I will post it in my battle log check the link in my sig