Advice for new dad?

[alienjenn]

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Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can change so I don't feel like I'm carrying all the weight in the relationship?

Not sure... I've always been in the side of "carrying all the weight"... I def feel your pain...

Maybe just an honest talk... let her know you feel under appreciated...

Or change your expectations... The house doesn't have to be spotless... I know that when I worry less about the house and more about the relationships inside the house that we are happiest (granted it's just the kids and I... So... Maybe different?

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[Waldo]

Not to go off on a tangent, but this is a struggle in our relationship. Our roles are basically reversed in that she makes more money, so feels like she can come home, sit on the couch, watch tv and play on her phone. Meanwhile, if we have a home-cooked meal, I cook it (she doesn't know how to cook), I do the majority of house cleaning (she hates cleaning), the only thing that's close to an even split is laundry. I'm not trying to keep track of what she does or doesn't do, but it's frustrating when 1) she expects me to do more because I make less money (yes, she has literally said that) and 2) she hears or reads stuff like this and expects me to take on even more so she can "relax after a long days work". That being said I've been to quite a bit of the baby stuff cuz for the first 24 hours after birth she was basically on bed rest due to a large amount of blood and when our baby was only three days old, she received a call that one of her best friends passed away. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can change so I don't feel like I'm carrying all the weight in the relationship?

 

I don't think you can do anything other than to tell her that you flat out think that is wrong just because she earns more money.  It isn't something you can really fix unless you let it be known it is a major problem for you. 

 

As one on the other side of the coin, I've drifted that way at times, but my wife has always been sure to snap me out of it.  Relaxing after a long days work is a load of BS (aside for a few minutes sitting down right after getting home), I know it and always find my way out.  It is a little more extreme now that she is a housewife, but I know good and darn well that neither of us has any relaxation time whatsoever until after the kid is in bed, and now both of us use the gap between kid in bed and dinner to work out, so the first time either of us has more than a few minutes of sitting around is about 2 hours before bed, she's often folding laundry durning that time.  Just because I'm the breadwinner doesn't earn me shit in our relationship, it gives me no right to just sit around and do nothing, took me a while to fully accept this, but after being together now more than 10 years, I get it (granted I've always been the cook, done all outdoor chores, and been the handyman).

[TheBBP]

So I'm sitting in the hospital trying not to be too bored while waiting for the induction drugs to kick in. It still hasn't quite hit me yet that I'll be a parent soon. Although I'm sure it will set in in the next couple weeks when I'm a walking zombie from lack of sleep. Anyways, any advice for a soon-to-be new dad?

1. Congratulations and welcome to the fraternity!
2. RIP Late-Night Gaming (at least for a little while).