Annoying comments you hear all the time

[Guest asdf]

The following happens to me a fair amount:

Me: "I'd like to try doing x thing."

Other person:(with judging face while shaking head) "Oooooooohhhh.......no Ben, just NO. It isn't you. Don't do that."

 

There is nothing in this world that makes my blood boil more than having someone tell me I can't or shouldn't do something because "it's not you". I hate it when people are judgemental like that. Sometimes it's even friend who does it...which makes it even more painful and enraging that they have you somehow type casted in a specific way and are trying to put boundaries on you.

Does this happen to anyone else?

[I-Jo]

LOL not any more- mostly because all my friends- are like OHHHhhh we should TOTALLY do that.

 

It's great to have friends who are up for anything- we will deciede on Friday we should go to XX and pack up and leave- drive all night and make it so.

 

Definitely surround yourself with live in the "now" types of people.  Life is better that way. 

[Huntress]

The following happens to me a fair amount:

Me: "I'd like to try doing x thing."

Other person:(with judging face while shaking head) "Oooooooohhhh.......no Ben, just NO. It isn't you. Don't do that."

 

Used to happen to me a lot and though I didn't realise it at the time, it affected my self-confidence and is a reason I've held off trying awesome new stuff until now - because I (foolishly) took what they said to heart. It's poison. Each human being is capable of so many things. You might find it hard at first to learn something you've never done before, but please don't let those comments stop you.

I've found surrounding yourself with positive people and being assertive when someone gives you that kind of crap helps

[radialgirl]

I'm seriously gluten/lactose intolerant, and I hear some variation of "Come on, just have a little, it won't hurt ya" or "OMG what do you eat?" ALL THE DAMN TIME! Or when I say I'm fine eating some straight up vegetables instead of a potentially contaminated meal, they go and try to find a gluten-free sub for me, and then make me feel bad about it when I don't want to put that (typically highly processed and awful tasting) stuff in my body. And it's usually from the people in my life that make less than healthy eating choices.

 

I definitely also get the alcohol thing too. I don't avoid it altogether, but I honestly hate feeling even a little tipsy. Basically everyone my age only seems to be able to have fun if they're drinking and assume I'm missing out because I'd rather go to the gym or be on the water or read a book or whatever. 

[Huntress]

Got told today by a colleague that I should only do high reps (around 25 per set) with a very low weight so that I could "tone" without "bulking up".

 

When evidence didn't persuade him, I just smiled and nodded, and went on my merry (beginner powerlifting) way...

[Zorch]

One night we were all in the pub and the whole table, about 6 people, were discussing why I'm single (yeah, this actually happened) and one of the girls said something that made me feel 1000% better about it "Well can anyone think of a girl who deserves Oisin?" which was met with silence. Over the last 4 years I've been on a very visible quest to be the best Oisin that I can be, I've been making big improvements on myself and making an effort to be the kind of person that, when I'm old and grey, I can look back and say "Man, I was fuckin awesome". I just wish people would drop the "why are you single?" questions, they go nowhere!

 

Just wait until you're 30.  It gets even better more absurd.  But yeah, thumbs up to being the best you that you can be, and doing awesome stuff with your life!

 

I think one of the mistakes people make in relationships is trying to be in one for the sake of being in one, which leads to attaching oneself to the wrong person, and then staying with that person even though one isn't necessarily happy with the relationship.  Being single beats an unhappy relationship, any day of the week.

[Irish Oisin]

I have had friends try set me up with people under the guise of "I know someone who's perfect for you" which actually translates to "I know a single person". I've met some of these people and, on more than one occasion, I was actually insulted that my friends thought she was "perfect for me".

 

One girl was after a boyfriend, and if she heard a man was single, she was in there like a shot trying to become his boyfriend, but she was so desperate you could practically smell it. She just didn't want to be single. She was friends with my friends, not just some random woman, and even though I actively disliked her and avoided her like the plague, my friends tried to get us together. She went as far as telling my friends that things were going well between us, even though I never gave any impression that I wanted anything other than casual friendship, I NEVER slept with her or even kissed her. I was polite and spoke to her because we had mutual friends. It came to a head when she developed a habit of groping me at every opportunity and I had to stop spending time with my friends when she was there because the last time we were all together and she groped me I lost my cool and yelled at her in front of everyone...and all of my friends thought I was being a dickhead. My friends eventually saw the light when her attention moved onto a newly single member of the group and she did the same thing with him, except he started sleeping with her because he was on the rebound and ended up sleeping with her for months and it ended very badly for everyone in my group even with some friendships damaged that took months to repair.

 

So yes, definitely, sometimes being single rather than being with someone for the sake of not being alone is much better.

[OtakuBosatsu]

*laughs*

 

Our first valentines day together... I had already said I didn't want to do anything, and that evening I just said "Can we get pizza and watch Predator?"

That is so cool. 

 

One night we were all in the pub and the whole table, about 6 people, were discussing why I'm single (yeah, this actually happened) and one of the girls said something that made me feel 1000% better about it "Well can anyone think of a girl who deserves Oisin?" which was met with silence. Over the last 4 years I've been on a very visible quest to be the best Oisin that I can be, I've been making big improvements on myself and making an effort to be the kind of person that, when I'm old and grey, I can look back and say "Man, I was fuckin awesome". I just wish people would drop the "why are you single?" questions, they go nowhere!

 

I used to get that question a lot in my early twenties.  At one point when I was twenty-five I got so annoyed with my friends I finally snapped and said something like, "look if you don't stop pestering me about why I don't have a girlfriend, I might just never have a girlfriend just to spite you!"  That shut them up real quick.  What's funny is among all of us who were there on that table that day, I'm the only one who's married and a parent.   Funny how life works out.

[OtakuBosatsu]

Just wait until you're 30.  It gets even better more absurd.  But yeah, thumbs up to being the best you that you can be, and doing awesome stuff with your life!

 

I think one of the mistakes people make in relationships is trying to be in one for the sake of being in one, which leads to attaching oneself to the wrong person, and then staying with that person even though one isn't necessarily happy with the relationship.  Being single beats an unhappy relationship, any day of the week.

 

I did that once when I was nineteen with my friend's cousin.  We happened to be camping together one night and so we were in one tent and for some reason we just started making out.  We ended up going out together for a month and then I realized I didn't want this, this was wrong, I was just using her just for the sake of having a girlfriend, and were we to continue neither of us would end up happy.  She asked me if I loved her and I told her no.  Some of my friends reacted when I told them this like, "Why'd you have to say that?"  and I was like, "What the fuck was I supposed to do, lie?"  I think I was a bit of an asshole (or an idiot) for getting into a "relationship" like that in the first place, but I would have been an even bigger one if I didn't break it off.

[Leonine]

I think one of the mistakes people make in relationships is trying to be in one for the sake of being in one, which leads to attaching oneself to the wrong person, and then staying with that person even though one isn't necessarily happy with the relationship.  Being single beats an unhappy relationship, any day of the week.

 

A-MEN. I've been in that situation before where I was just holding on despite being miserable; it's so much better to just be by yourself than be with a wrong person, for everyone involved! Now I'm the going-on-a-few-years-single friend getting all the comments, but it hasn't gotten to me yet. It may be only a matter of time before they start getting under my skin, but dear lord I hope not.

 

My personal peeves are whenever anyone mentions my size. ("God, you're so tiny/skinny/small!") Well gosh. I'm really working on that, but I don't know how to tell you about it. Whenever anyone says that to me, I actually get super awkward and start stammering, and floundering for a change of subject. 

And of course what I've seen a lot of people saying about food choices. I unwillfully had to attend a lecture by my friends with other day about why I was a freak because I didn't eat bagels. :/ I'd rather have the eggs and bacon than one of those, just a personal preference!

[Irish Oisin]

Bagels? Really? Are bagels THAT important to people?!!

[goodbyeharrison]

Bagels? Really? Are bagels THAT important to people?!!

People pick random stupid stuff to focus on. I get crap over certain things all the time. Yesterday it was on me "needing to eat a snickers" and getting a lecture on why I need to eat candy. The guy who was giving me that same lecture grabbed my wrist and told me "this is unacceptable"

Today I got crap for not wanting to eat regular potatoes.

Another day it might be rice.

People pick stupid crap. Let me eat what I want to eat. It's healthy and people seem to act like there's something wrong with it.

[RocketsMcGuire]

I have had friends try set me up with people under the guise of "I know someone who's perfect for you" which actually translates to "I know a single person". I've met some of these people and, on more than one occasion, I was actually insulted that my friends thought she was "perfect for me".

 

...

 

So yes, definitely, sometimes being single rather than being with someone for the sake of not being alone is much better.

 

In fairness to your friends, at least they TRIED to do something for you. Quite jealous.

 

But to be even fairer, you're right about being single. Recently realised that being single doesn't make you worthless ._.

 

People pick random stupid stuff to focus on. I get crap over certain things all the time. Yesterday it was on me "needing to eat a snickers" and getting a lecture on why I need to eat candy. The guy who was giving me that same lecture grabbed my wrist and told me "this is unacceptable"

 

Haha, what? I think we'd all like to hear the ironclad reasoning you received there.

[I-Jo]

" don't get any smaller"

been hearing that a lot lately. fuck off

[Timmy M]

" don't get any smaller"

been hearing that a lot lately. fuck off

 

get massive then then thank 'em when you win miss olympia or some such

[Leonine]

Bagels? Really? Are bagels THAT important to people?!!

 

People pick random stupid stuff to focus on. I get crap over certain things all the time. Yesterday it was on me "needing to eat a snickers" and getting a lecture on why I need to eat candy. The guy who was giving me that same lecture grabbed my wrist and told me "this is unacceptable"

Today I got crap for not wanting to eat regular potatoes.

Another day it might be rice.

People pick stupid crap. Let me eat what I want to eat. It's healthy and people seem to act like there's something wrong with it.

 

Absolutely, I feel like it's not so much the thing you wont eat as much as the fact that they're weirded out by the fact that you don't want to eat those things. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to eat candy. And if you don't want to eat potatoes, so? Honestly though, I can't believe a guy grabbed your wrist over a candy bar, that just seems downright odd to me. :/ And I still completely fail to see the importance of bagels!

 

 

" don't get any smaller"

been hearing that a lot lately. fuck off

 

Definitely not any of their business! >:

[Huntress]

People pick random stupid stuff to focus on. I get crap over certain things all the time. Yesterday it was on me "needing to eat a snickers" and getting a lecture on why I need to eat candy. The guy who was giving me that same lecture grabbed my wrist and told me "this is unacceptable"

 

 

Whaaaat, are you serious?! You know what is unacceptable - physically grabbing other people and telling them their bodies are unacceptable. Wtf, seriously.

[Irish Oisin]

In fairness to your friends, at least they TRIED to do something for you. Quite jealous.

 

But to be even fairer, you're right about being single. Recently realised that being single doesn't make you worthless ._.

It's nice that they were trying to help me because at the time I was very actively trying to find a girlfriend, so they meant well! Being single is honestly my preferred state right now, and I think a partner would get in my way

 

Gender expectations lead to some odd dynamics, sometimes. One of them being that since "obviously" men all love sex and sexual attention, that there's no such thing as unwanted sexual attention/assault from a pretty woman.

 

A "no" should be respected, always.

Oh man, you have no idea!! What I often heard was "Ah Oisin, come on, it's only Mary" (Not real name) or from one of the girls of the group "Stop being such a bitch about it!"

I eventually got them to see my way by saying "Ok, guys, let's just imagine that everything she did to me, was a guy doing to one of the girls of our group...how would we all feel about that?" And everyone, at the same time, hung their heads in shame "Yeah, that's a really good point". If it was a guy harassing me, at least I could hit him or something, but I had to just take it. It was actually a weird experience, a man being sexually harassed for months. Kinda opened my eyes

[goodbyeharrison]

Whaaaat, are you serious?! You know what is unacceptable - physically grabbing other people and telling them their bodies are unacceptable. Wtf, seriously.

 

 

yeah, it was pretty crappy and embarrassing. Definitely made me self conscious and feel like crap. 

 

 

 

 

Haha, what? I think we'd all like to hear the ironclad reasoning you received there.

 

He told me i need to eat more candy because i'm too restricted. one of those "relax" reasons.

Also he knows that snickers, ice cream, and candy is my weakness. it is not just one..it is eat ALL snickers and ALL candy. eat ALL ice cream. which is why i do better if i just stay away in general. Also, he told me i need to gain weight, and that's when he grabbed my wrist and said it was unacceptable. Apparently if im going to gain weight, screw the healthy way, just load up on candy bars.

 

He asked if he brought snickers would i eat it, and then said he's gonna bring me a snickers ice cream bar. I asked him not to. Not sure if he's going to. I can have candy..i just choose not to. i have nothing to prove to him by eating a snickers. 

[Timmy M]

if he brings one take it off him and shove it down his throat still in the wrapper... that should stop him

[Leonine]

He asked if he brought snickers would i eat it, and then said he's gonna bring me a snickers ice cream bar. I asked him not to. Not sure if he's going to. I can have candy..i just choose not to. i have nothing to prove to him by eating a snickers. 

 

That's really unfair. He should just respect you, forcing unwanted behavior on someone just shouldn't be acceptable, even if their intentions have a slight hint of good in them. Personally, my gut instinct is that he sort of wants to knock you down a peg, or something. Uncool, friend.

[Daithi]

Mine isn't so much a comment, But I'm Naturally thin and a Hard gainer, And that makes me lazy and weak according to people. I'm stronger than I look by miles but people still unroll their eyes when I tell them I work out. It wasn't until I lifted a 60kilo Bag of sand up out of the car and carried it into the Backyard that my own family took my Workout seriously, This is after me working out for 8 months, 3-4 times a week.

 

Hmm "You don't need to Diet you're skinny" I get that all the time I bring up Paleo.

[Timmy M]

Mine isn't so much a comment, But I'm Naturally thin and a Hard gainer, And that makes me lazy and weak according to people. I'm stronger than I look by miles but people still unroll their eyes when I tell them I work out. It wasn't until I lifted a 60kilo Bag of sand up out of the car and carried it into the Backyard that my own family took my Workout seriously, This is after me working out for 8 months, 3-4 times a week.

i love being stronger than i look, since obsessing over ohp for a bit now i've got a bit broader so i look a bit stronger but i still look pretty normal (5 foot, 10.5 inch and 80kg) i've got a couple of mates who are a good 15kg (at least two thirds of muscle) heavier than me who i can match on a fair few things (one's even on roids) as much as it sucks visually for a hardgainer it is fun when you pick up something heavy and wow people

[Huntress]

That's really unfair. He should just respect you, forcing unwanted behavior on someone just shouldn't be acceptable, even if their intentions have a slight hint of good in them. Personally, my gut instinct is that he sort of wants to knock you down a peg, or something. Uncool, friend.

 

This guy is being super uncool. Feel free to ask him why he gets to decide for other adults what they eat and throw his Snickers ice cream in the trash while he watches. For serious. Sorry that you have had to put up with this!

[I-Jo]

I agree i'd throw it away to. but make sure you open ir first lock our our take I've bite and then throw it away. if it's still I the wrapper he could fish it out.