Annoying comments you hear all the time

[Leonine]

 

I'll have to give a bit of background to provide context to the following annoying things people tell me:

 

I'm fortunate enough to have been born to a well-off family.  My late father was a good businessman and inspiring leader, and by the time I was born we already had a decent business empire consisting of several companies.  My brother has three daughters and one adopted son.  My sister (who is adopted) has two sons (from different fathers) and two daughters (from her second husband).  My other sister is single with no kids.

 

Okay, now to the annoying stuff people tell me (italics represent my reactions, both expressed and repressed):

 

"Oh you have a son?  That's great!  Your family now has one who will carry the family name."  Uh, say that again?  What about my nephews and nieces?  (Not to mention my soon-to-be-born daughter?)  

 

"Oh but you know, the girls will get married and they'll have to change their surnames." Right, because you're so sure they WILL get married.  Besides, my wife doesn't even use my surname in legal documents so - FAIL.

 

"And your sister is adopted so her sons are not of the same blood.  It's also the bloodline that your son will continue."

 

Okay first off: my sister is my sister.  I don't give a shit that she came from someone else's uterus.  None of us siblings came from the same uterus! (Actually me and my other sister.  It's complicated so I won't explain).  But we don't go around saying, oh that's my half-brother and there's my step-sister and she's my biological sister.  We say, he's my brother, they are my sisters.  We're FAMILY AND SO ARE OUR CHILDREN.  None of this "blood-line" bullshit, which to me implies we're royalty making our kids vie for the "throne".

 

(and here's a variation on the above statements) "Oh I'm sure your father was happy when he found out you're having a son.  Finally, he has a real grandson who will continue his legacy."

 

Excuse me?  What does that make my nephews?  My father loved his grandchildren - every single one of them.  They were all real grandchildren to him.  And whether or not my children will go into the family business will be entirely up to them.  I'm not going to assume this early that they want to.

 

 

^ THIS. ALLLL of this.

 

My family's in a sort of similar situation when it comes to passing down our last name; my grandfather had two sons and a daughter. My aunt's children all have their father's last name. My uncle has two lovely step children, who keep their biological father's last name. My father has four children... all of us, girls. 

 

So the one I hear from people all the time is, "Oh, what a shame! There's literally no one to continue your family name, then!" "Your name will die out as soon as all of you girls get married." Um, no. Who's saying I absolutely must change my name? And why do you assume that I will get married, anyhow? The name's hardly important anyways.

[RocketsMcGuire]

So the one I hear from people all the time is, "Oh, what a shame! There's literally no one to continue your family name, then!" "Your name will die out as soon as all of you girls get married." Um, no. Who's saying I absolutely must change my name? And why do you assume that I will get married, anyhow? The name's hardly important anyways.

 

The whole system's ballsed up. People confuse 'family name' for 'family' all the time, forgetting that a surname is just a string of letters to tell you apart from the other million people called John.

[goodbyeharrison]

He was being a jerk, no doubt about it. But you know, sometimes our friends stuff up. He's probably worried you're anorexic or wasting away, and is worried as hell about it, and stuck for ideas on how to help you.

 

I'd go for an upfront talk where you say something like "Look, I know you're worried about my weight. Don't worry, I'm not trying to lose weight, I want to be fit, healthy, and more muscular. I know you want me to eat more, but chowing down on candy bars is not a healthy way to gain weight - we both know that. I'm eating healthy food, and plenty of it. If you really want to feed me snacks whenever you drop by/we catch up, I'd be happy to snack on stuff like cashews/beef jerky/fresh fruit. But you really don't need to stress about this. And please, it's not OK to insult my appearance like you did last time we caught up. I know I look thin, I'm not an idiot. And I'm working on staying at a healthy weight/increasing my weight in a healthy fashion, so relax, OK?"

 

 

 

 

 

He's my classmate. Don't see him outside of school. And i always brings snacks and food to school, i laugh because i always have a little bag of almonds or i just bring my tupper ware with lunch in it. I don't do well when im hungry, i get irritable and angry so anorexia would make me the most miserable person. itd be more of compulsive eating and binging that would be a problem. He's mentioned me having an eating disorder before and we've had our discussions. I don't mind the concerned part, its the way he says things and handles it that bothers me. 

 

And why should being naturally skinny be warrant for questioning what i eat or having an eating disorder?  that's what i don't understand. 

 

He was worried granted, and i have gotten better about my restrictions, but i'm an adult and can decide when/if i want candy/dessert. Had some tonight and i don't feel guilty. It was my decision though and i just don't appreciate it being forced on me. 

[OtakuBosatsu]

Duplicate post.

[OtakuBosatsu]

The whole system's ballsed up. People confuse 'family name' for 'family' all the time, forgetting that a surname is just a string of letters to tell you apart from the other million people called John.

 

Exactly.  I ought to put all this on a t-shirt that I can wear underneath my regular clothes so that any time somebody (who's usually a nice and well-meaning relative/acquaintance) says this crap to me I can just unbutton my outer shirt and say, "Here.  Read this.  Out loud."

[OtakuBosatsu]

He's my classmate. Don't see him outside of school. And i always brings snacks and food to school, i laugh because i always have a little bag of almonds or i just bring my tupper ware with lunch in it. I don't do well when im hungry, i get irritable and angry so anorexia would make me the most miserable person. itd be more of compulsive eating and binging that would be a problem. He's mentioned me having an eating disorder before and we've had our discussions. I don't mind the concerned part, its the way he says things and handles it that bothers me. 

 

And why should being naturally skinny be warrant for questioning what i eat or having an eating disorder?  that's what i don't understand. 

 

He was worried granted, and i have gotten better about my restrictions, but i'm an adult and can decide when/if i want candy/dessert. Had some tonight and i don't feel guilty. It was my decision though and i just don't appreciate it being forced on me. 

 

Maybe some people just don't know when they're crossing the line from helping to meddling.

[terrormortus]

Only happened a few times, but already sick of it. 

 

"You should keep your old clothes, that way if you put the weight back on you'll have something to wear." 

 

I get the concern there, I really do, but at the same time it really ticked me off when it was said. Why would I plan for my failure? I've lost a ton of weight and kept it off for a while now and I've started to lose weight and get healthier again. So nope, getting rid of all my clothes that don't fit me.

[mentalfloss]

Nope.

 

Could care less.

 

people should have fewer kids.

 

Although i think it sucks that there are kids who need adoption and can't be placed for various reasons- including the shitty net work we have (which I know is just trying to do it's job)- I just think people shouldn't be so effing wrapped around the hilt about producing munchkins the world doesn't need. 

 

 

 

which is completely selfish and not a rational reason to produce more humans. Sorry- it just isn't enough.

 

 

we have been planning to have kids next year for most of our relationship together, and now that the time is growing near, I keep thinking - why should I have kids?  I don't want to have kids for any selfish reason, but there isn't any unselfish reason to have them.  The world doesn't need anymore people.  The children could experience any number of horrors.

 

And yet I really want them We're all a bit selfish right?  And I know that I'll be the best mother I can be and do all I can to make them happy and be themselves.  The thought of NOT having kids makes me sad!!

 

And, I guess that's the difference between people who want to have kids and don't want them - you have the overwhelming desire to have them, and the overwhelming desire to not have them!  Everyone's different - I respect both people who choose not to have kids, and those who don't

[Timmy M]

Could care less.

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

...sorry

[Leonine]

Only happened a few times, but already sick of it. 

 

"You should keep your old clothes, that way if you put the weight back on you'll have something to wear." 

 

I get the concern there, I really do, but at the same time it really ticked me off when it was said. Why would I plan for my failure? I've lost a ton of weight and kept it off for a while now and I've started to lose weight and get healthier again. So nope, getting rid of all my clothes that don't fit me.

 

Fail to plan = Plan to fail. Plan to fail = Actually fail. XD What a bummer that they would make comments like that! I understand they're being cautious, but seriously? Good on ya for getting rid of those old things!

 

 

 

I'm currently getting comments about how I "shouldn't lose any more weight" (well derrr), and worried questions about whether my interest in weightlifting is becoming dangerously obsessive (no, it's not), and occasional (thankfully rare) rude observations implying my husband won't like me being stronger than him, or that I should work out differently (low weight high reps) so I don't look too muscular.

 

 

^ Oooh, peeve of mine. I guess that some guys would have a problem with women being stronger than them, but even if your husband did have a problem with it (which I highly doubt), is it any of their business? Also, strong women are total bosses, they shouldn't be insecure about that! And, *massive sarcasm*, we all know working out with those 5-10lb dumbbells makes you, like, super-fit. 

[I-Jo]

LOL I have a bunch of pants I haven't tossed yet- I'm probably hoarding them b/c I don't know if I'll stay at this size - but also because I spent a crap  load of money last May on all this stuff and it kills me to give it away.  I just keep buying new ones and pack the other ones into a drawer or something. I can understand not wanting to throw stuff away- but if you on major weight loss track- go ahead chuck that crap!!!  

 

 

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**video**

...sorry

 

 

bummer can't see right now- will have to watch later!!! 

[Leonine]

LOL I have a bunch of pants I haven't tossed yet- I'm probably hoarding them b/c I don't know if I'll stay at this size - but also because I spent a crap  load of money last May on all this stuff and it kills me to give it away.  I just keep buying new ones and pack the other ones into a drawer or something. I can understand not wanting to throw stuff away- but if you on major weight loss track- go ahead chuck that crap!!!  

 

 

I've got this problem as well, but I'm holding on to clothes that are (if all goes well!) soon to be too small for me. I'm getting to this really awkward place where all my current clothes are getting tight, and all my old clothes are way too loose... and so I wear yoga pants everywhere, because I don't want to spend the money on 'intermediate clothes', and I feel like a slacker. I also don't want to give away my current wardrobe because it was such an investment! 

[I-Jo]

yeah new job meant new wardrobe.

 

Now I"m made because 1500$ worth of business clothes don't fit.  Been slowly trying to purchase pieces to supplement.

 

Shirts are fine- but pants/skirts- all my favorite pencil skirts- none of them fit.  makes me a sad panda. 

 

I'm not allowed to wear yoga pants to work- else I totally would... plus those are all too big for me now too. Just bought new work out capris from TJMaxx yesterday- I was sad I spent 20 $ on them- but they are electric blue and they FIT!!! <woot woot>   Really 20 bucks is nothing- but it still makes me angry- I beat the hell out of my clothes pants- I'm in the gym or training almost 7 days a week- so I NEED pants that fit- I spend half my time fucking pulling up my pants- so so god damn annoying. LOL 

 

burpees with no waist elastic capris pants- please. it's not pretty. 

[Irish Oisin]

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

...sorry

 

Thank god he's said it!!!

 

I don't know why America hates the letter U. It's versitile and helps pronunciation!! Colour. Flavour. Savour. See? MUUUUCH better!

[I-Jo]

I spell colour with a U quiet a bit- people yell at me for some reason. 

[Irish Oisin]

Keep doing it, and add in savour and flavour and all the rest too, it's proper spelling. And don't use the letter Z as much...it's overused in America hahaha

[I-Jo]

I think I've used it mostly with colour and flavour.

 

Ourange used to be spelled that way didn't it?

 

I don't use savor much but when I do I'll make sure I savour it.  

 

the amount of red in this post from Microsoft trying to spell check for me is HYSTERICAL.

[Irish Oisin]

Ourange? I don't know, I've never heard it spelled like that and a quick google gave no results, but google could be lying.

Don't take offence, I'm not trying to challenge your honour.

[RocketsMcGuire]

Ourange? I don't know, I've never heard it spelled like that and a quick google gave no results, but google could be lying.

Don't take offence, I'm not trying to challenge your honour.

 

Only in China *rimshot*

 

God that was terrible

[I-Jo]

*like*

[Vian]

On the clothes I'm able to, I take them in. I have a few pairs of plants that I've taken in by about 4 sizes. I paid alot for those clothes and didn't get to wear them very often, so instead of just donating them, I decided to put my sewing skills to good use instead.

 

But I totally get the frustration. I have donated some of the clothes I've shrunk out of that I either can't take in effectively, or aren't really worth it to me to do so. I'm not going to hold onto them "just in case". I have NO INTENTION of EVER being as heavy as I was before.

[jfreaksho]

Thank god he's said it!!!

 

I don't know why America hates the letter U. It's versitile and helps pronunciation!! Colour. Flavour. Savour. See? MUUUUCH better!

Right?!

 

However, I think the phrase "Hold down the fort" is similar to "batten down the hatches".  Maybe I made that up, or maybe it's a mixture of those two phrases, but it always made sense to me.

[I-Jo]

no batten down the hatches is an actual thing- it's nautical thing.

 

but I couldn't care less about that either

[Timmy M]

but I couldn't care less about that either

atta girl! this forum is fun AND educational

[SuperUnison]

The whole being skinny meaning people assume you don't eat anything thing is annoying! Or getting told to 'put some meat on your bones'. Though it happens less often now, haha, but that's after a year of training.

 

Also getting told I'm lucky that I don't put on weight- it can be annoying having a fast metabolism and small stomach, like being hungry a lot of the time. Or being ill for a few days and losing a couple of kg. Grrr!