What would you do during the zombie apocalypse?

[jfreaksho]

Amateurs discuss tactics, professionals deal with logistics. - some famous general.

 

Whether you hole up in a defensible place or make plans to stay on the move, you'll still need supplies of beans, boots, and bullets (food, shelter/travel methods, defensive/offensive tools).  Fresh water is pretty important too.  With these, your tactics become much easier to implement.  Without these, you're going to have a tough time of it, no matter what your plan is.

 

Edit:  My in-laws are all farmers with livestock and huge gardens.  We'll be okay, we just have to get there.

[Rhyme]

Gardens will be a HUGE asset to surviving the apocalypse!

 

 

[chaosgundam]

I'm so craving bacon right now! 

[Rathrune]

Rathrune's TEN STEP Guide for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse:

 

DISCLAIMER: This has been provided to nearly all government buildings, schools, police, firefighter, and emergency response buildings.  This is the real deal; top officials recommend you follow this exactly if you'd like to survive.

 

Step 1:  Raid local gun store, acquire lots of guns and ammo. 

 

Step 2: Local supermarket/garden store, acquire as many seeds as possible.

 

Step 3: Kill some zombies on the way to the book store. 

 

Step 4: Pick up every possible version and iteration of "Farming for Idiots"

 

Step 5: Pick up a hot supermodel who is not a zombie and drive out to Mid-West where no one lives.

 

Step 6: Collect farm animals, grow crops, bang supermodel.  (Not necessarily in that order)

 

Step 7: Kill anyone who comes near your land.  Zombie or not.

 

Step 8: Accept God's invitation for lunch and discuss possibly taking over his position since you are obviously more resourceful than he is. 

 

Step 9: Bang supermodel.

 

Step 10: Switch places with God and become an all-powerful being of existence because he wants to experience how awesome it is to be you.  Once he realizes he can never achieve your awesomeness, destroy him and do whatever you want for all eternity.

 

 

You're welcome.

 

- Rathrune

[AllonsY!]

Principal principles I think would be provisions, protection and solitude.

 

I would avoid major cities. A small town grocery store or library (that is close to the grocery store) would be ideal. Everyone thinks that guns will help but if the zombies get in... you're dead. Even if you're able to kill it you now have to dispose of the body or it'll go toxic. If it bleeds or drips you'll have to clean that junk up and if you blow it's head off in your new home you might as well move because cleaning up the splatter will be a horrible ordeal and if you're not the best at it you could wind up contaminating everything with the virus.

 

Don't bother with guns beside the mess, you've got the noise. A gunshot will attract more zed heads.

 

I wouldn't want to live at the grocery store though. First: too many entrances. Second: too many invaders. People will kill for food and the idea is to stay alive. Three: there are a ton of other places to get food. Raid homes, hit up gas stations, grow your own crops.... 

 

I think living at the library would be a much better idea for a few reasons.

1. Tons of books, to quote the Doctor, "Weapons?! You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! Best weapons in the universe!"

2. Usually decent brick construction and a vault for rare books. Older libraries don't even have too many windows.

3. Few entrances.

4. Fewer people.

5. Flat roof that you might be able to grow crops on.

6. Typically not extremely far away from town so access to food wouldn't be to challenging.

[AlterStephen]

Hopefully by then lightsabers will have been invented. Lord knows what kind of fun I'll have with a lightsaber during a zombie apocalypse.

[Rathrune]

Hopefully by then lightsabers will have been invented. Lord knows what kind of fun I'll have with a lightsaber during a zombie apocalypse.

 

And by "fun" you mean thinking you'll slay hordes of zombies only to realize you don't know how to use the lightsaber and you're dead within 4 minutes. 

 

Fixed it for you. 

[AlterStephen]

And by "fun" you mean thinking you'll slay hordes of zombies only to realize you don't know how to use the lightsaber and you're dead within 4 minutes. 

 

Fixed it for you. 

I'm sure they'll have lightsaber safety and training classes. WHICH I AM TOTALLY TAKING. So I'll be fine.

[chaosgundam]

DISCLAIMER: This has been provided to nearly all government buildings, schools, police, firefighter, and emergency response buildings.  This is the real deal; top officials recommend you follow this exactly if you'd like to survive.

 

Step 1:  Raid local gun store, acquire lots of guns and ammo. 

 

Step 2: Local supermarket/garden store, acquire as many seeds as possible.

 

Step 3: Kill some zombies on the way to the book store. 

 

Step 4: Pick up every possible version and iteration of "Farming for Idiots"

 

Step 5: Pick up a hot supermodel who is not a zombie and drive out to Mid-West where no one lives.

 

Step 6: Collect farm animals, grow crops, bang supermodel.  (Not necessarily in that order)

 

Step 7: Kill anyone who comes near your land.  Zombie or not.

 

Step 8: Accept God's invitation for lunch and discuss possibly taking over his position since you are obviously more resourceful than he is. 

 

Step 9: Bang supermodel.

 

Step 10: Switch places with God and become an all-powerful being of existence because he wants to experience how awesome it is to be you.  Once he realizes he can never achieve your awesomeness, destroy him and do whatever you want for all eternity.

 

 

You're welcome.

 

- Rathrune

 

 

Hahahahaha! That escalated quickly! 

 

 

Hopefully by then lightsabers will have been invented. Lord knows what kind of fun I'll have with a lightsaber during a zombie apocalypse.

 

 

Lightsabers would rock but only if you can use the force as well. Imagine waiving your hand and telling the zombies "These are not the brains you are looking for".

[cline]

I'm now kind of inspired to ponder my odds of becoming a zombie overlord and bring the undead under my control.

 

I could probably do this with bacon.

[JonDixonYT]

I'm now kind of inspired to ponder my odds of becoming a zombie overlord and bring the undead under my control.

 

I could probably do this with bacon.

First you'd need a herd of zombie pigs to smoke their brains - that would be a tall order.

 

But imagine the possibilities if you could pull it off....

[cline]

First you'd need a herd of zombie pigs to smoke their brains - that would be a tall order.

 

But imagine the possibilities if you could pull it off....

 

Well, I woudn't need zombie pigs as much as pigs to lure the zombies someplace.  Or maybe a false advertising campaign promising flat zombie abs in 30 days by eating only pigs.... lure them in and then bring them under my control. 

 

I wish I could teach the zombies to raise the pigs and smoke them without eating them first.  Silly zombies.

[terrormortus]

First off I would hunker down at home for a week or two to let some of the craziness die down a bit. Then I would head to my buddies house. He's an ex Mormon with enough guns to stock his entire county. Then grab our families, head up north and start farming or grabbing things. 

 

Not the best plan in the world but I'm still in the "prepare myself" part of my possible zombie outbreak plan.

[JonDixonYT]

Also - my plan is to just become the zombie king.  All you guys are going to end up zombies anyway, we they will find you and eat your brains, and then I will be your zombie overlord.

 

Suckers.

[cline]

Also - my plan is to just become the zombie king.  All you guys are going to end up zombies anyway, we they will find you and eat your brains, and then I will be your zombie overlord.

 

Suckers.

 

see above.  I already have dibs on zombie overlord.  and I have bacon.

[JonDixonYT]

see above.  I already have dibs on zombie overlord.  and I have bacon.

I'm not sure you can really be the zombie overlord if you aren't a zombie.

 

I guess we will see who gets it though, if they will follow one of their own or someone with brain-free bacon.

[chaosgundam]

Well. If there is such a thing as a zombie overlord the question is do you have complete control over all the zombies in the world or is your influence limited by distance? I am assuming that you would control them telepathically.

If you can control all the zombies in the world the survivors don't really stand a chance. 

 

I never imagined that bacon would play such a pivotal roll in the zombie apocalypse.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Logicially though the only type of real zombie would be like the ones created from mutated rabies virus that killed all intellegence and made them very aggresive, like from I am Legend. They'd still technically be alive. The nice part about this is that they'd starve out pretty quickly. At a bare minimum of them expending 1000 kcal a day for the average sized one, they'd burn through their fat and muscle energy stores in a few months.  If you could hole up in a warehouse for 6 months to a year (there should be plenty of bottled water for that), you'd easily be able to outlast them.

 

Assuming all that, you don't need guns and weapons to kill off the zombies if you get to a supermarket warehouse pretty quickly. The warehouse would have all the benefits of an actual super market as well as having fewer and more easily fortifiable entrances. The key is finding one before everyone else and fortifying the crap out of it wand locking it down. I'm agreeing with the flat top roof for farming in the long run as there will be some zombies around for a few years as the survivors get bitten and keep lsowly spreading the virus, but it's not needed right away/ A supermarket warehouse should have enough supplies to last you at least a year, it would really come down to how much bottled water there was I think.

 

The real enemy, assuming the zombies are dumb and can't get in, are other people. I'd probably take a few in with me, especially if they had weapons, but you'd have to cap it at some point or you'd burn through supplies too quickly.

[marionette]

I had bacon for lunch. There were no zombies.

[chaosgundam]

Well, I guess CoreyD came up with a good answer. Like he said, the key is to find a warehouse before anyone else does. Otherwise it will turn into a pretty big fight. 

[Jcannon98188]

Logicially though the only type of real zombie would be like the ones created from mutated rabies virus that killed all intellegence and made them very aggresive, like from I am Legend. They'd still technically be alive. The nice part about this is that they'd starve out pretty quickly. At a bare minimum of them expending 1000 kcal a day for the average sized one, they'd burn through their fat and muscle energy stores in a few months.  If you could hole up in a warehouse for 6 months to a year (there should be plenty of bottled water for that), you'd easily be able to outlast them.

 

Assuming all that, you don't need guns and weapons to kill off the zombies if you get to a supermarket warehouse pretty quickly. The warehouse would have all the benefits of an actual super market as well as having fewer and more easily fortifiable entrances. The key is finding one before everyone else and fortifying the crap out of it wand locking it down. I'm agreeing with the flat top roof for farming in the long run as there will be some zombies around for a few years as the survivors get bitten and keep lsowly spreading the virus, but it's not needed right away/ A supermarket warehouse should have enough supplies to last you at least a year, it would really come down to how much bottled water there was I think.

 

The real enemy, assuming the zombies are dumb and can't get in, are other people. I'd probably take a few in with me, especially if they had weapons, but you'd have to cap it at some point or you'd burn through supplies too quickly.

Honestly, if it is fast zombies, I would just let myself die. I can't imagine any way of realistically surviving that. Slow zombies? Survivable assuming you don't screw up. Fast zombies? Everyone is dead.

[Guest Dirty Deads]

Logicially though the only type of real zombie would be like the ones created from mutated rabies virus that killed all intellegence and made them very aggresive, like from I am Legend. They'd still technically be alive. The nice part about this is that they'd starve out pretty quickly. At a bare minimum of them expending 1000 kcal a day for the average sized one, they'd burn through their fat and muscle energy stores in a few months.  If you could hole up in a warehouse for 6 months to a year (there should be plenty of bottled water for that), you'd easily be able to outlast them.

 

Assuming all that, you don't need guns and weapons to kill off the zombies if you get to a supermarket warehouse pretty quickly. The warehouse would have all the benefits of an actual super market as well as having fewer and more easily fortifiable entrances. The key is finding one before everyone else and fortifying the crap out of it wand locking it down. I'm agreeing with the flat top roof for farming in the long run as there will be some zombies around for a few years as the survivors get bitten and keep lsowly spreading the virus, but it's not needed right away/ A supermarket warehouse should have enough supplies to last you at least a year, it would really come down to how much bottled water there was I think.

 

The real enemy, assuming the zombies are dumb and can't get in, are other people. I'd probably take a few in with me, especially if they had weapons, but you'd have to cap it at some point or you'd burn through supplies too quickly.

 

As long as you try to hide from that type of zombie you should fare pretty well. Chances are that they would eat each other rather than starve. Without intelligence there's nothing to suggest they would team up with each other so they are their own doom. Plus seeing as how they are living, they may very well be susceptible to all human ailments (swine flu ends zombie apocalypse!)  I'd lead them to the ocean and let them drown.

[cline]

you don't need a flat roof necessarily for gardening as long as you raid the gardening supply shops and stock up on grow lights, soil, etc. 

 

But you would need a water supply.  So you could harness the water in rain barrels and run the hoses into the warehouse.

 

You could put your bacon freezer storage on the roof.