Unsupportive Spouses/Partners/Family Members

[Oogiem]

wildgorillaman.blogspot.com

<plaintive whine> Does anyone here have any pix of fit women with a DD or larger bra size? I get the feeling we're constitutionally unable to get anywhere even close :sigh:

[Gowaduv]

<plaintive whine> Does anyone here have any pix of fit women with a DD or larger bra size? I get the feeling we're constitutionally unable to get anywhere even close :sigh:

I like the way you think... I've seen a few crossfit ladies with muscular builds and ample chests on that blog. My guess is they're modified. My wife went from a DD+ to a small-to-medium C cup during her weight loss-- 70# so far. Unfortunately breast tissue is just regular fat so the body doesn't have a preference whether it's stored or spent... too bad, that If folks do have pics of ladies with crossfit-esque physiques who also have larger chests, post up the link. It's no problem to find pictures of women who have naturally DD+ breasts who are fit enough, but they're not suitable for this forum

[Wolfman]

<plaintive whine> Does anyone here have any pix of fit women with a DD or larger bra size? I get the feeling we're constitutionally unable to get anywhere even close :sigh:

I haven't seen any, but I willingly sacrifice my time looking for some FOR YOU.

Also, thanks for the thermometer, book, spices advice... I think the digital thermometer is gonna be my first investment. I'm always looking for an excuse to buy new gadgets!

[SpongeBob]

Thought id say my bit as its been about cooking and support.

Thermometers are great, just dont overestimate the temerature you need. The lowest for it to be cooked is the best. I know people cook a chicken breast for 20-25 mins then complain its dry and tastless, but the looks iget when i say it takes 9-12 minutes maximum would turn that chicken dry. Simple cooking is best, just stick to good flavour combinations not complicated recipes. Poaching then roasting is a good trick to do food en-masse with moist results and its incredibly simple, then just put a nice garnish and your good to go.

Motivation and resistance are a tough subject, some respond well to information, others rebel against it. Some love results from other methods they are not currently on and will make the change, others will simply dig their heels in and plug away at their 'innefectual' methods. The best thing is to try be an example, if you continue improving beyond any question, then people will notice and ask you how you did it. Them asking is infinately better then being force fed it (not that anyone does that) and they will pay attention. We are all here because we wanted to know what the site was, wanted to get fitter/healthier/stronger and the information and people here struck a cord with us.

I for one am glad i found this site, and i have read loads, but i am my own motivation, i do what i want when i want. I want to be better, all the time.

Paleo isnt for me, i need way to many calories, and would have to eat a side of beef every day. But i like the principles, and can appreciate them. Others might not see it like that. Too many fad diets have jaded the mind of most people, just watch any infomercial to get a ten minute soul destroying burst.

Like Wolfman, i too hurt if my partner isnt happy, and it is hard for us to deal with their mistakes. My gf wants to lose weight (why i dont know, to me she is perfect) so i answered her honestly and gave her all my dietary knowledge, she chose to accept some and reject some, and so far is doing very well on a semi-paleo diet. What im trying to say is, you were honest, she will listen when and if she is ready, and if not, try take faith in the fact that is her decision. Dont let your motivation wane because of it, she would want you to be happy deep down, as you do for her, so keep moving forward, keep improving, keep setting that example, you will never regret it.

sponge

[Alethea]

Great topic! I have been in a 5 year relationship with a naturally fit dude who doesn't have to watch what he eats at all, and MAN, this topic has inspired more arguments than chores and money combined. Here is my hard-earned wisdom.

1. You are seperate beings. You must do what you believe is best, and you must trust her to do what she believes is best without harping at her. Either take turns cooking and show her how good your meals can be, making her 50% paleo (and you becoming slightly less than perfect, since you'll have to modify her meals as best you can) and potentially opening her mind to the idea, or cook seperate meals. Be okay with it. Your frustration makes her frustrated, which will make you angry, which makes her angry. It is FOOD. It's not worth hurt feelings.

2. On a movie night, suggest Fathead (http://www.fathead-movie.com/). Don't preach, but give her some food for thought to mull over. Make sure you understand your facts so that IF she asks or has an incorrect opinion, you know how to answer.

3. Keep rocking yourself! Get lots and lots of support from a community of like-minded individuals. Get wingmen here at NF and keep fighting that good fight. What she is doing is ultimately her business. Take care of you, first. You are making awesome choices, and keep them up!

This movie, my continued example, and gentle, open-minded discussions about what each thinks is the ideal lifestyle for the human animal is what opened my partner to a mostly paleo lifestyle and finally settled our war. He still thinks humans should eat SOME grains, but not every meal, or even every day, and he doesn't use fake imitation foodlike substances (i.e., processed foods) any more, which is more important in my opinion. We are happier and healthier than we've ever been.

[Oogiem]

It's no problem to find pictures of women who have naturally DD+ breasts who are fit enough, but they're not suitable for this forum

Yeah I've seen a few of those too. ;-) Seriously though while breast tissue is a lot of fat there is an underlying structure that doesn't really go away until you are in starvation mode. Some of us have more of that than others and I know it makes certain types of exercises, "interesting". Title 9 has been a lifesaver for bras for me. WIthout some of their heavy duty athletic equipment I couldn't even function. I wear a sport bra all the time just to keep everything more or less under control. probably TMI but important. Another good source is Athleta but they don't handle large cup sizes very much.

[Oogiem]

Thermometers are great, just dont overestimate the temerature you need. The lowest for it to be cooked is the best. I know people cook a chicken breast for 20-25 mins then complain its dry and tastless, but the looks iget when i say it takes 9-12 minutes maximum would turn that chicken dry.

Or if you get meat (yes even chicken) that has good fat cover you can still get well done meat that is tender and juicy. We typically take chicken up to 180 or so and sheep and beef to 170, pork to 180 also. I've even taken my chicken breasts up to 195 or over and they are still very juicy and moist. But I typically cook chicken with the skin on and the chickens have a fair amount of subcutaneous fat.

[Oogiem]

I haven't seen any, but I willingly sacrifice my time looking for some FOR YOU.

Please do! I am serious. I'd love to see a model that is under 5 ft 2 inches and with at least a D cup bra size that is still fit and strong! All the role models for women are usually tall, naturally lean types and not overly large. Many of the top actresses wear push up bras for pictures and it looks like they have more but they really don't when you look at their actual measurements (usually avail on IMDB.com)

[67alecto]

If folks do have pics of ladies with crossfit-esque physiques who also have larger chests, post up the link.

I 2nd that request.

[Seabright]

I'll talk to my mom and see if my providing (tons of) healthy food would be an acceptable arrangement for her. She's a bit older than you, but only by a few years, and sometimes I think she thinks that it's too late to change anything.

Well, it also helps if you are, like, you know, totally immature. :-)

[Crooked]

This woman is in a video on the Crossfit main site today, and she is 1) obviously fit and 2) pretty well-endowed:

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2011/04/snatch-balance-day-back-at-it.html

Love that my first reaction on seeing that video was, "I've gotta share this on Nerd Fitness!"

[Crooked]

Well, it also helps if you are, like, you know, totally immature. :-)

I'll keep that in mind Seriously though, congratulations on everything you've done for your health and fitness! It's a great accomplishment. I'm hoping to have similar success as I get more into Crossfit and stricter about paleo.

[Gowaduv]

I'm not sure they're real, but I was glad to do the research/be a blog creeper I want you to know I took this seriously. She's definitely a case study for http://www.forgingelitesarcasm.com

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2009/12/its-my-birthday.html

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7wv_cOo-jZ0/SmDZYt3zMrI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/5pfMbxqVF-I/s1600-h/aandb.JPG

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2009/07/nate-at-crossfit-obsession.html

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2009/05/great-weekend.html

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2009/05/too-damn-busy.html

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2009/03/pictures.html <--- but then there's picture #2 that makes me think, "yeah, maybe..."

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2009/03/b-in-dr.html

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2009/01/substance-abuse-problem.html

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2008/12/childhood-and-beauty.html <-- the standard "tell all" crossfitter blog entry. Contains pics and stats.

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2008/12/perspective.html <-- just had to post this one because it's called "perspective," and she opens up about only having $100 bills (so she can't/won't give any money to the homeless guy who interrupted her crying session on the train)

http://allisonnyc.blogspot.com/2008/12/my-booty-hurts.html <-- side bikini shot. I'm not sure if the way they're hanging is because of strong pecs, or implants.

[Gowaduv]

We really need a new thread (but I'm not gonna start it...) from today's Wild Gorilla Man: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KxxaJKU10xk/TezPxZyVLQI/AAAAAAAAZqM/LZyQFhY3rH0/s1600/monday%2B%252818%2529.jpg

[Brometheus]

Yeah, you might get in trouble

[Kain]

We really need a new thread (but I'm not gonna start it...) from today's Wild Gorilla Man: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KxxaJKU10xk/TezPxZyVLQI/AAAAAAAAZqM/LZyQFhY3rH0/s1600/monday%2B%252818%2529.jpg

Va-Voooooom!

[Wolfman]

I dunno... I think a "Tough Woman of the Day" thread would serve as great motivation for the all the female rebels. Wouldn't hinder my training progress either, lemme tell ya...

[Oogiem]

We really need a new thread (but I'm not gonna start it...) from today's Wild Gorilla Man: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KxxaJKU10xk/TezPxZyVLQI/AAAAAAAAZqM/LZyQFhY3rH0/s1600/monday%2B%252818%2529.jpg

OK I'll go start it because as Wolfman said we need the inspiration.

[alr]

Yeah I've seen a few of those too. ;-) Seriously though while breast tissue is a lot of fat there is an underlying structure that doesn't really go away until you are in starvation mode. Some of us have more of that than others and I know it makes certain types of exercises, "interesting". Title 9 has been a lifesaver for bras for me. WIthout some of their heavy duty athletic equipment I couldn't even function. I wear a sport bra all the time just to keep everything more or less under control. probably TMI but important. Another good source is Athleta but they don't handle large cup sizes very much.

I don't know how far above DD you need but I have sold quite a few Under Armor bras to lucky women who need serious engineering to be able to run/work out/live comfortably and they have all heartily endorsed them. Nike and Adidas also have plus sized lines with sports bras (can you tell I work in a sporting goods store?) and I know their sizing gets up to really plus sizes. This time of year, anything with cooling/wicking properties is a huge bonus and there are definitely decent options out there. Athleta is related to the gap, so it's no surprise that their sizing is not what it should be (although I am forever indebted to the gap clerks who have unflinchingly found me pants that were short enough and could accomodate my monster calves).

[ertzeid]

@lexphoenix - I know how you feel! My SO also gets all pissy about not wanting me to look like a bodybuilder. It's awful, this idea that me looking like his all-cardio-and-calorie-counting ideal is more important that me feeling amazing and being healthy (and I do believe that at least some strength work is vital to staying healthy, and a lot of science recently seems to be backing it up).

@67alecto - Thank you. Paleo is not for everyone (I can't do it myself, though I do try to keep my carbs low). Nor is calorie-counting-cardio-only. Both work great for some people.

Basically, you can't tell your partner what to do. The reason that there are so many fad diets and fitness crazes is that there really isn't enough solid science showing one right way to be healthy. So while one particular lifestyle works well for you, it doesn't mean it's for everyone.

Plus, most people, even ones who love and trust you, get very protective about their personal life choices, especially when it comes to eating and exercise. Trying to tell someone what to do only makes them (at least most of them) that much more set on proving you wrong.

All you can do is be happy for yourself and your own success, and trust your partner to find their own way. Consider whether there are any other factors making it difficult for them to find a healthy lifestyle, and be both understanding and compassionate about these stress factors. If you need something, like meat, definitely ask for it, but don't try to force it on them, just like you don't want some giant bowl of pasta to appear in front of you as your only dinner option.

But I can relate--it is really hard to eat paleo when you're sharing meals with someone who doesn't. I've only ever dabbled in Paleo, but during the first few weeks it's that much harder to watch someone eat rice and fresh tortillas and sandwiches.

[ertzeid]

Oh also @lexphoenix--my best guess is that the likeliest result of a CrossFit style workout routine is a body like a gymnast's. VERY different from a bodybuilder. Maybe your SO would be less afraid of that?

[Junglizer]

@lexphoenix - I know how you feel! My SO also gets all pissy about not wanting me to look like a bodybuilder.

Dang! I knew I should have saved the funny pic I found. It was a "What women think happens when they lift weights: (had some pictures of pro female body builders). vs. What actually happens: (had pics of bikini models)."

I found it funny, but I think it's also sort of true of males. I've gotten the argument from friends that were trying to lose weight that they didn't want to lift weights because they weren't trying to bulk up.

[Alethea]

I guess if all you're looking at is numbers on a scale, the idea of gaining muscle at the same rate as loosing fat, and thus staying the same weight, is frustrating for people. Never mind that you're getting smaller. It's silly, but I can understand where they're coming from.

[Crooked]

@Junglizer: I think this is what you're referring to?

[Junglizer]

Yes, that would be it!