A New Hope

[keetabirdy]

A New Hope. No, Star Wars is not among my top fandoms, but I couldn't resist the fitting allusion. That's how I felt when I stumbled upon this community last night.

 

I have struggled with being overweight and then obese, since middle school. I'm now almost 29. My family has generally offered very little understanding with my weight issues and I have heard no lack of remarks regarding it. I already struggle with self esteem due to a birth defect that has made "fitting in" challenging from the get-go and being overweight only adds to the problem. I'm constantly reminded about the health issues that come with being overweight and the challenges that poses in finding a boyfriend, as if I didn't know that. My dad struggled with his weight when he was much younger (before I was born) and he has found ways to overcome it that work for him. I'm very happy that he has been successful, but his success makes him feel like he has the right to judge me. I'm asked to exercise with him repeatedly, but whenever I take him up on it, I'm met with frustration on his part when I can't keep up with him. And he wonders why I don't like to exercise with him?

 

While I've given weight watchers and working out the "old college try," I find it very difficult to stick with anything for very long. I have a persistent sweet tooth, an unhealthy enjoyment of fried foods and carbs, and a less than ideal love for veggies (although I'm getting better in the veggie department). The fact that I am single and relatively nomadic in my living situations, usually living in someone else's home, means that it's challenging for me to set up routines and design my environment to set me up for success. It also means that if I'm cooking, I'm usually cooking for one, which I hate doing; so I eat out a lot. The fact that I have a 35-45 minute commute to and from work also means I spend a lot of time on the road and eat on the go, so I can salvage that little bit of extra time. I spend a lot of my free time on the computer, or I'm multitasking, doing something for work while watching TV, all of which involves sitting. Finding motivation to exercise has also been greatly challenging. I've tried finding workout buddies for walking, etc, but they have all flaked out on me and I've found myself facing this increasingly forbidding challenge alone again. And then yesterday I had a mini break down when I found my shirt/ dress size had gone the next size up.

 

I wanted help and answers and when googling for any workout buddy matching sites, I found the Sidekick section of this site. I was intrigued and read further. I was so encouraged and amazed by what I saw! A community of people banding together to fight a stereotype and have fun, in the spirit of living a healthier life. It's given me Hope, and while I don't have a battle plan yet, I'm hoping that reading, learning and coming together with the others on this site will help me make one that works, and eventually leads to a healthier me. I want to look in the mirror and feel good about the person I see there and I think all of you can help me get there. So thank you in advance to all of you who will be traveling with me on this road!

 

-Keeta

[alienjenn]

welcome!!

 

one of the things I like about cooking for one.. I can cook in bulk (I cook all my meals for work for the week on one day and it makes it so much easier... I work nearly 13 hr overnight shifts and I have to drive 35 min each way... so if I have to cook every day it cuts into my sleeping time!!!)

 

it's also difficult for me with my family... I actually haven't talked to my father since march... long story short he essentially called me fat/unhealthy and said I should work harder (at that point I had lost 60# and was eating paleoish) and I was in tears and my son almost punched him... ANYWAYS!!! I decided that it isn't worth my time!! (helps that they live in indiana I live in virginia!!!)

 

 

I don't spend my energy trying to maintain relationships that aren't positive... I am too old for that

[GemRogers]

Your father, while trying to do the best for you, has obviously got caught up in his own issues, I think. Going at your own pace is definitely preferable to trying to keep up with someone who had such an advantage - you could injure yourself physically, and doing anything like that always gets me down. Not everything has to be a competition! Still, I hope it hasn't discouraged you from exercise completely - the walks are an excellent way of getting some in without always realising!

 

I'm fairly nomadic too, but when lived by myself the most important thing I did in terms of food was cooking in bulk, like alienjenn said above! It definitely helps, cos you can divide it into portions and then not think about cooking more. I also added finely chopped veggies I didn't like to sauces and soups and things - if there's enough other stuff and it's cut small enough you really can't taste it!
Although since then my love of veggies has grown enormously, I still do it sometimes to get a few more sneaky vitamins in or to bulk out a meal when I haven't calculated quite right - I like with 4 guys who all have massive appetites!

*holds up hand for a high five*  You can do this!

[keetabirdy]

Thanks for the welcome! *high fives Gem back*

 

I would love to cook in bulk if it meant I could freeze things for later, but unfortunately, where I am living most often, freezer space is at a premium. I often find if I leave any of "my" space open, someone decides that it is theirs to use. I also find it challenging to use the kitchen at times as it is usually cluttered and sometimes unsanitary. I am looking into other living arrangements, as I think it would be better for my health, but until then I need to deal with what I have.

 

@ alienjenn: There may come a time and point where my father and I part ways, but for now he lives physically near me and I am repaying a loan to him. I have more than once considered cutting him out of my life, as he has trouble understanding that he is human like the rest of us and needs to take responsibility for his part in conflicts. 

[alienjenn]

Thanks for the welcome! *high fives Gem back*

 

I would love to cook in bulk if it meant I could freeze things for later, but unfortunately, where I am living most often, freezer space is at a premium. I often find if I leave any of "my" space open, someone decides that it is theirs to use. I also find it challenging to use the kitchen at times as it is usually cluttered and sometimes unsanitary. I am looking into other living arrangements, as I think it would be better for my health, but until then I need to deal with what I have.

 

@ alienjenn: There may come a time and point where my father and I part ways, but for now he lives physically near me and I am repaying a loan to him. I have more than once considered cutting him out of my life, as he has trouble understanding that he is human like the rest of us and needs to take responsibility for his part in conflicts. 

 

I understand your difficulty here... I will try to think of cooking ideas that would work for you

 

as for your dad...  I understand that too... and I hope he figures out he is human

[keetabirdy]

Cooking ideas would be great! For now I've decided that I'm going to do mostly vegetarian or salad lunches to at least get me started. This is a meal I have to plan ahead for anyways, since I take lunch to work with me, and I'm forced to make healthy choices because that is school policy. So, I'll try and make the most of it by eating as healthy as I can at lunch time. Plus I'm limited on time and so busy after lunch that it means I have a distraction from eating out of boredom.  I think I've even talked my co-teacher into walking the playground while we supervise the kids.

 

I did the beginner's body weight circuit on Monday and my quads are still killing me! Lol. I'm trying to make my battle plan for my first challenge. I think I will stay away from a scale goal, as those have never seemed to serve me well in the past. I will still keep track of it once a week or so, but I think measuring inches or clothing sizes would be a better one. I'm thinking of perhaps a longer term main quest like where I can be comfortable wearing dresses without shorts underneath (rubbing thighs, who me? ). It'll take me a while, but I would really like to get there. Or perhaps that's my motivating factor that I need to put on the mirror, haha. 

For the smaller goals to help with the main quest I'm thinking:

* Do body weight circuit OR Zumba, AND walk at least 2 miles 3+ times per week.

* Drink 8 cups of WATER daily.

* Bring Vegetarian or Salad lunches to work 4+ days per week.

[Wayne_Kent_Seago]

Hi!

 

Your goals for the challenge sound like good one! Measuring inches or clothing size works better than the scale.

 

I look forward to hearing about your success as the challenge goes on! You can do it!

[keetabirdy]

Thanks! I did walk today at lunch like I hoped to. 1500 steps (appox.) I counted one lap on the playground and then estimated from there. Not sure what that translates to in miles, but it's something.

 

And now I'm baking three different kinds of bread for a gathering this weekend. I know lots of carbs, but I promised these long before I found nerd fitness. I promise I won't eat much of them.