Can't let anxiety be an excuse anymore

[apike]

Hey everyone!

 

I'm super shy and have a ton of anxiety issues. I also never learned how to take proper care of myself, so I'm trying to fix all that. Sometimes it's hard to find those small incremental steps, so I have to use the momentum of being really frustrated to get started instead. I'm pretty great at complaining and making excuses, so I'm trying to knock that off. It's my job to fix it to the best of my abilities, right?

 

I like nerd fitness, because reading the blog and now the forums makes me feel inspired instead of ready to panic.

 

A super brief bio:

I'm a female in my late 20s, have always been a nerd, and I sit at a computer all day. I play D&D on the weekends. I read and write. I program. I garden. And I intend to add "work out and be a badass" to the list of things that I would use to describe myself in a brief bio.

 

I guess November is my month of leveling up. Maybe I'll move my birthday. Last year I started NaNoWriMo and wrote a 50k novel. I'm doing so again right now (just as soon as I finish my first post here!)

 

 

For now, three goals form my battle plan for the last 6 weeks or whatever is left before the end of 2013:

 

I am making appointments with psychiatrists. It's really hard. The last one (two.. no wait... three) I saw didn't work out very well, which means I have to start again. A lot of times that means months in between calling them up, scheduling things, and so on and so forth, because it's a lot of work just to see them once and find out I can't stand them and their approach. So I'm doing it anyway.

Goal: sadly, pretty much 100% sure I do need meds, at least right now, but I need the right meds and the right person to help me find them. I made an awesome list of my 3 step plan for how to get on track with that. As long as I can find a psych that will work with me on my plan long term instead of try to throw prescriptions at me 30 minutes after meeting me, I will feel pretty amazing. (Note that step 2 and 3 of my plan are not "???" and "Profit!", thankfully. Step 1 is actually track down all the records and figure out where I've already been, so I can go somewhere new).

 

I'm also scheduled to meet with a personal trainer for the first time this weekend. It's something I've been meaning to do for a long time. It's super hard for all sorts of reasons, and I'm really really hoping this works out well, because I have a limited amount of emotional stamina to deal with new people. Going to give it my all, and try not to give up if the first time doesn't match up too well with my needs. Kind of like the psych search that way.

Long story short though, I need someone to teach me what to do and how to do it correctly, and since I'm currently failing to recover from an injury, I need really specific help. I need to strengthen whatever is weak that is causing me to keep hurting myself in the same way. I have a reference for another trainer farther away, so if this doesn't work out that can be my next step.

Luckily, once I have a bit of momentum and a plan I tend to do ok with keeping up new things, even if I don't push myself as hard as I could. I'm a little-every-day sort of person, and starting something new can't always be done that way. Once I get going and settle into a regular schedule, it will be hard to stop me.

Goal: work with trainer, get injury under control. Then let my fitness dreams become new goals. You guys make me want to try so many things, but I need to take one step at a time.

 

And finally, I'm here. I want to be part of the community here. My goal there is to not post just a few times and disappear.

This goal is so simple, but will actually require at least as much work as the other stuff: Post one thing to the rebel forums every Saturday between now and the end of the year. If nothing else, I can post updates on any of the other goals.

 

 

Here goes nothing!

[Guest]

Hail! Welcome to the forums

Definitely definitely, take it one step at a time. It sounds like you have pretty big life alterations in the works. 

Good idea to track down your record, you need to have a concrete copy of that before you let someone prescribe you anything else. Help you at least get a realistic view on where you've been and what doesn't work for you.

Every journey requires a first step, whether or not you proudly shove off through the door, or trip and stub a toe; either way, you're going somewhere

Hopefully to great things! Keep that determination up, it will serve you well. Good luck

[hawgsquatch]

Hiya apike,

 

Welcome to the community. You have taken a huge first step on your plan which includes writing out your goals and how you are going to attain them. Good, you are already on your way. I think our mental health is very closely linked to our physical health. For me at least, when I am eating healthier and exercising my mental health is better. I am calmer, more focused, less likely to be angered by small things and less likely to worry about things I cannot control. I think the brain is designed to function at a certain chemistry, and that chemistry is optimal with a healthy body.

 

I think finding a doctor that will work on your goals, your way is really important and its a great focus.

 

There is nothing wrong with shyness. I am not shy at all and it gets me in trouble all the time When a reserved person finally says something I should listen, because they probably will be saying something worth hearing.

 

You will find some pretty neat people on here and its is a good place to learn and to teach as well. We look forward to hearing from you in the future.

[Basement Cat]

Hello! Welcome to the rebellion!

 

Hey, I like that idea of moving your birthday. We need to come up with a good name for that day you decided to retake control of your life and body.

"Reset day"? The day you reset the game of life and decided to try a new strategy in order to win the game? I'm sticking to it!

 

Keep us posted on your progress, and if you ever feel like you are losing momemtum, come here and we'll cheer you up!.

 

Stay sharp!

[apike]

Well, it's Saturday, and here I am, back on the forums!

 

It seems pretty clear that exercise can be a bigger improvement for mental health than meds. I'm hoping that working out and getting myself in shape will magically transform me into a unicorn person who doesn't need psych meds, but I don't plan on counting on that. If everything goes really well, I'll be on meds short term instead of forever, but that's not a goal, just a hope. The only goal there is to get my mental landscape stable, whichever method gets me there.

 

Meanwhile, yesterday I called all 3 psych's my doctor's office recommended, since it takes forever to get scheduled and in to see people. None of them were open Friday afternoon's so I was just leaving messages, but one of the answering machines clearly stated that it's around 6 weeks to get in for a new appointment (which is completely normal). The last pysch I saw (that I didn't like) I had to schedule 2 months in advance! Luckily they got me in sooner due to a cancellation. It kind of boggles my mind how long this stuff takes.

 

I meet the personal trainer tomorrow, so I'll be reporting in about how that goes - next Saturday at the latest, but sooner if I have a few free minutes.

[apike]

Well here I am again!

 

Personal training = making me happy. I paid for 10, so I can re-evaluate exactly what I want my next steps will be when those run out in a month and change. So far I think it was a very good choice for me.

 

I came very close to not making any progress on the psychiatrist thing, but knowing I would want to mention it here made me do something. I need to call them back next week too. I think I'm going to be playing phone tag for a while trying to get stuff set up, unless I call during the day and actually get a human on the phone.

 

I'm slowly working my way through the forums, reading and getting more used to where to talk about stuff.

 

See you around : )