The Reincarnation of Teagarden, and her cunning plan.

[MidknytOwl]

First off, don't feel too bad.  I'm 32 and I don't know what I want to do with my life.  Again.

 

While I really hate this feeling of not knowing where I'm going, and the unsure, panicky, will-this-ever-work-out feeling, I think when I'm outside that sucky moment, overall I like that I don't have a direct path.  When I was feeling full of the wanderlust, I did seasonal jobs and taught English abroad, living in 5 states and 2 countries in 3 years.  While I've been feeling the environmental side, I've been working as a Park Ranger.  

 

In a way, that's kind of cool, to get to go and do adventures instead of being bogged down.  I have a friend I met at summer camp when we were 8, and we still stay in touch.  Growing up and into adulthood, I felt very lacking in comparison though - she came from a solid middle class, maybe upper middle class home, whereas I was way below the poverty level.  I worked 30 hours a week in high school to get a crappy car; she was given a pretty nice used one for her 16th birthday and had insurance and gas paid for by her parents.  Even with college, she went straight through, graduated in four years, and found a great job.  I went, took two years off (which I really needed and am glad I did), went back, changed my major as a junior, and didn't end up graduating until I was 26.  In that time she bought a new car and a house, so I definitely felt way behind as an adult.

 

Then after graduating, when I didn't know what to do now that school was over, I went to South Korea to teach English.  You know what?  It was the first time in my life that I think she's even been jealous of me!  She couldn't just pack up and go on a (kind of) whim to go do something like that - she had car payments, and a mortgage, and was kind of stuck, all in the life that seemed so perfect and better than mine looking on the other side.  It was a real eye opener for me.

 

Sometimes I wish I had a stable job, and a house to call my own.  I wish I knew what I wanted to do and that everything was situated and taken care of.

 

At the same time though, I have so many options, that so many people don't have.  I can go abroad again, if I want.  I can keep trying to find jobs and chug along in this career.  I can become a teacher.  I can WWOOF for a year and then go to grad school after that.  My only limit really is money, actually, and trying to figure out which awesome thing I really want to do this chapter of my life.  So it is a good thing, even if it sucks.

 

I have part of the same problem you have, being good at a lot of things, and I'm glad you mentioned it.  One of the reasons that I think it's so hard to figure out what to do is that we could do so many things.  It's not something you can really complain about to a lot of people - kind of like the skinny person complaining they can't gain weight (incidentally, also my friend mentioned above, whereas I've always been a big girl).  It is a struggle, but it's because of a positive attribute, so it's hard for a lot of people to understand, I think.

 

You'll figure it out, for the short term at least.  And then you'll figure something else out that works great too.  

 

Just know you're not the only one going through it.  I think very few people have it figure out, and many that seem like they do are just sticking to what they know because it's comfortable, not because they want to be there.  

[TyrantLizard]

You'll figure it out, for the short term at least.  And then you'll figure something else out that works great too.  

 

Just know you're not the only one going through it.  I think very few people have it figure out, and many that seem like they do are just sticking to what they know because it's comfortable, not because they want to be there.  

 

When I left my previous career and wasn't sure what I was going to do next, my grandmother told me that there's no one right answer for what you should do with your life, and that people who've stopped thinking about what to do next are people who've given up exploring. 

 

I think she was a tad uncharitable (I am sure some people find something they truly love and never feel the urge to move on) but I still think there's a good sentiment in there. Exploring the world and the people and experiences it has to offer is something worth taking risks for.