Accident crashes the system

[Snarkyfishguts]

A little over two weeks ago, I was a passenger in a car accident. The driver hit a pole while looking down at the buttons in a new car. No one was injured but me, and I was really lucky to walk away with a bruised sternum and a bruised left knee.

 

I was walking 10,000 steps a day, I had JUST started lifting 5 pound weights comfortably, and was starting to lose weight. But after the accident, I could barely walk 3000 steps a day.  I couldn't lift ANY weights, in fact just some of the motions hurt too much, and I gained 3 pounds. Two weeks later, I feeling better, but my leg still hurts like heck, and my family can't hug me because it makes my chest hurt for hours afterwards.

 

I'm angry, but that will fade. I felt like such a victim. It's not easy to watch a car zoom into a pole because the driver isn't even paying attention to DRIVING. I couldn't do anything in that situation. And that while I'm calling family because the driver doesn't have a cell phone, the driver is telling police we don't need paramedics. EXCUSE ME I'M INJURED.

 

I learned so much from this experience. I used to put up with so much BS from people. I used to accept excuses, and I would put myself second all the time to help other people. My life had a giant pause button that anyone could push and say "You don't mind, help me instead!" 

 

I was so lucky. Nothing was broken, nothing required surgery. Serious bruising, but in this case "It could've been worse" was such a wake up call for me. I wasn't living a life that was true to my values. I wasn't making myself a priority. I wasn't living. I was just waiting for the next person to call me with a crisis. 

 

Now I've joined Planet Fitness. Its' not the best gym, but it's good for me. I don't have to wait in line to hobble on a treadmill, and it's right at my fitness level. I am going to use it until I graduate from it! I'm reorganizing my home office and setting a "Do Not Disturb" sign up during work hours. I'm not putting myself second to spare someone's feelings anymore. I used to listen for hours about loved one's anxieties, and now I stand up after 20 minutes and say "Well, I love you, but I don't think talking about it is doing any good. Let's do something else now, and you let me know how you handled it."  When people try to tell me how do live my life, I say "Thanks, but I got this."  I don't waste my time with passive aggressive people, and seek to build relationships with open and kind people that make me happy to be with them. I am planning a vacation by myself for the fall. I'm going to a national park and walk a 14 miles trail there. Then I'm going to go shopping, visit some friends, and maybe get my first pedicure!

 

This was pretty therapeutic for me and went on a bit longer than I intended. I had a lot of anger building up, and I need to let it go and focus on the learning experience, and how I'm going to grow from this. Thank you for letting me share this with you.

[Jett]

It sounds like you learned a really valuable lesson from your experience, and I'm glad to hear that you didn't sustain any permanent damage.

 

By the way, don't forget that what you eat is a huge part of weight loss. Even if you're still somewhat limited by your injuries in what you can do for exercise, you can watch what you eat and lose weight that way.

[Manarelle]

Wow, what a wake-up call, and not a polite one. I still struggle with putting myself and my health (mental or physical) first, so I hear where you're coming from. While it's good to stand up for yourself, it might also be worthwhile to stop every now and then and make sure you're not letting the anger take over and swing you too far the other way. You have every right to be angry when someone else's thoughtlessness impacts your life so profoundly, but if it's not checked (or, like you did here, let out) every now and then, it can be just as much of a problem as being self-sacrificing. 

 

Best wishes and support coming your way. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

Mitch, I eat pretty well. I only eat organic cupcakes ;-) seriously I agree and it has been helpful for the healing process to eat healthy. Spinach and pineapple promote soft tissue healing! Thank you for the kind words, it means a lot!

Thanks Manarelle! Sharing here really helped. I was talking with my mom about it over the phone and she really helped by saying she would be furious too, and just remember to take a deep breath before responding to people. "You don't have to be friendly, but you should be civil" she said. Some days civil is the best I can muster, but days like today I feel pretty cheery with occasional thunderstorms of angry :-)

[Manarelle]

Mmmmmm, organic cupcakes.  The world would be a much better place is everyone could keep a baseline of civil, honestly. I try to be upbeat and polite, but yeah, you get those days... Building a support network definitely helps, and having family on your side is a good thing. You're always welcome to come here and vent if need be, and I'm glad to hear that the good days are coming around, even with grumpystorms!