Can't do it alone. What do I do?

[WillToPower]

Alright, so there's one major obstacle that I want to work around that is holding me back from making exercise a regular habit:

 

I have a really hard time doing it on my own. When it comes to cardio, I get bored doing it by myself; swimming is the worst - "Oh. I'm following the line on the bottom of the pool again. And again. And again with a different stroke. And again within a certain time frame." If I don't have somebody there egging me on, there's nothing to stop me from slowing down, modifying the set, or just getting out of the pool out of boredom. When it comes to strength training, that's a whole other story. I don't know what I'm doing. It's really daunting. I end up asking myself "Is this the best exercise to be doing? Am I doing it right?" I feel awkward being in the gym on my own. I also get discouraged, because I don't know how to do things correctly.

 

I don't have any friends who are members of the same gym; I can't afford a gym membership, especially since the only reason that I have a membership to my gym is because I'm an employee. I can't expect them to come with me when it'll cost them. I also can't afford a personal trainer, because I can't even afford a gym membership.

 

Essentially, I have no one but myself to be accountable to. It hasn't worked for me in the past, so I can't expect it to work for me now.

 

Does anybody have any advice as to how to get a workout buddy?

 

Thanks,

 

-WillToPower

[shadownite1226]

My advice is start with members already there there usually is one or two others working out in a gym work in with them strike up conversation and learn from them ask if they'd be willing to help keep you accountable etc you'd be surprised what just asking for help at a gym may get you people are usually fairly happy to help the gym is like extended fMILY AFTER AWHIE ESPECIALLY IF YOU GO EVERY WEEK sorry for caps

[oldnews]

Do you have Meetups (Meetup.com) in your area? It might be for something specific you aren't super-into, but it could help find someone who is at least into fitness.

[Shakeel_R]

Ugh I so get your point! Well, I go the gym and the machines there have a television/internet thingie build in. So when doing my cardio I can "distract" myself and browse the web, watch tv, or hell even cycle through Paris. 

 

Maybe you should look at the cardio at a different way. Go swimming at monday and running on tuesday. And set goals. Like I want run for 10km straight, and work towards that.

[smbuckley23]

Does your gym offer classes? I used to hate going to classes but I started doing crossfit and going to occasional yoga classes and I've found that it's awesome and makes it way more fun if you're not suffering by yourself!

[msuroo]

And set goals. Like I want run for 10km straight, and work towards that.

Winnar. If go a step further and suggest picking an event (race, triathlon, powerlifting meet, whatever) in 2-3 months time and signing up. Plunk down an entry fee. Commit. Find an 8-12 week training program commensurate with the event and follow it to the letter (the Internet is full of these). Don't worry about whether or not you have the "best" program or the "best" exercises, doing any program at all is better than not.

The motivation is different for a lot of folks when "exercise" becomes "training". Especially if you've put down some hard earned cash. After 2-3 months, re-assess. Did you like what you trained for? Do you want to do another one? Heavier? Farther? Faster? Want to try something different?

Eventually, you just need to embrace the process. Training is a grind, and you won't always have someone there to egg you on. But you can kickstart some better habits with a little external motivation.

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[Anim07734]

Have you tried anything besides straight cardio and lifting?  You may just need to branch out in what you consider exercise.

 

If you have any access to the outdoors, try running on a trail instead of a track or treadmill.  Get a pullup bar and do a bodyweight circuit at home.  Look up some yoga routines and give them a try.  If your free gym has any rings, try a gymnastics workout.  Keep trying something new until you figure out what you like (then keep trying new things  ).

[Oramac]

When it comes to strength training, that's a whole other story. I don't know what I'm doing. It's really daunting. I end up asking myself "Is this the best exercise to be doing? Am I doing it right?" I feel awkward being in the gym on my own. I also get discouraged, because I don't know how to do things correctly.

 

My advice is to fix the quote above.  Finding people to work out with is great, but even if you find people, you might still be asking those questions.  Then you might ask "does this person really know what they're talking about?"  "Should I trust what they're saying?"

 

You don't need a personal trainer to learn proper form.  Check out the thousands of videos on Youtube for doing different exercises (I prefer Buff Dudes, but there's hundreds of channels out there), and then use your phone to record yourself doing them.  Compare yourself to those instructional videos.  That way you learn proper form and can walk into the weight room with confidence, even if it's empty.  

 

Also, if you really want Nerd help, post your videos in the Form Check subforum.  The people in there are super awesome about helping out.  I've posted several videos myself and been able to correct a few issues I had.  Now, I'm more confident than ever when I go into the weight room.  

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Oramac is right. It would be great to get some lifting buddies, but the simpler fix is to get comfortable on your own. Get some plans from this website, write everything down on paper or on a smart phone to take out the guesswork, and go forth and pick up heavy things.

[Evicious]

I second the idea about classes. If your gym offers any at all, you should give them an honest chance. I always thought I would hate classes - now I'm at the gym at 0530 every morning for group spin and power!? I don't know any of the other attendees (yet), but I've seen several of them on several different occasions. If I'm being candid, my pride gets a huge boost when I see someone I recognize show up after not showing up for class the day before - it makes me feel better about my own consistency. The fact that they very likely have their own routine which simply doesn't include being at the gym at 0530 every morning doesn't change my irrational ego trip, nor does it need to; it gets me out of bed every morning, and that's all that matters. [Addendum: Obviously, at no point in the past or future, have I given, nor will I ever, give voice to or in any other way, act on, my ridiculous thoughts. I allow them purely for their motivational quality.] It also serves as a fear-factor: I don't want to be the person the class instructor greets by saying, "Hey, we missed you last class!"

 

I will also point out the unpleasant truth about "motivation" and "accountability": motivation doesn't matter, and the only person you are truly accountable to for your own health and fitness is you.

 

Motivation is, in my opinion, a garnish - it's nice to "feel motivated" about doing things, but it isn't necessary to accomplish them. All that's necessary to accomplish any task is the right tools and physical ability to use them to your purpose. For example, I don't "feel motivated" about vacuuming - but that doesn't actually prevent me from doing it. Not having a vacuum cleaner would prevent me from vacuuming; not having electricity would prevent me from using a vacuum cleaner; and being in a coma would prevent me from doing pretty much anything. I have a vacuum cleaner, my electric bill is paid for and the power is still on, and I am obviously not in a coma right now. Ergo, there is nothing stopping me from vacuuming. All I have to do is do it. For some reason, people have a difficult time understanding that you don't have to want, or like, or enjoy something to do it. I suppose I was lucky in that I grew up in a household where that idea was hammered into my head from a very young age: "It doesn't matter how you feel - you do what needs to be done." And of course, being a small child, I didn't have many choices in the matter - I could throw a tantrum, be punished, and do the chore anyway... or I could just do the chore and get it out of the way. It doesn't take long to figure out which one is the better choice. Now, that isn't to say that you should just endure your workouts like some kind of water-proof robot. If you can find something else you enjoy more, or you discover a way that makes what you're already doing more rewarding, then you should totally do that. But if you can't - if you don't have the time, or the money, or the social life, or whatever - then you should remember that doing what you know is good for you, even when you're not enjoying it, is enough.