*SNAP* *Owwwwwww*

[Eupolis]

Back in October, had a bit of an injury playing soccer. Now, true to my Nerd Cred, I've never really been a sports player. Sure, I'd go to the gym...but it was mostly lifting and some cardio (e.g. stationary bike, some interval training). As for putting any of that to USE in something like, say, team sports...#FAIL. So, while at a charity event in Virginia, I was playing soccer (my first...and perhaps last/only time) and slipped on the grass, twisting my ankle and breaking it in three places (ankle bone, lower tibia, lower fibula). Ended up getting a metal plate put in, as well as 14 screws.

This Sunday will be exactly three months later. I was doing the cast/crutches combo for the first two weeks, then switched to a walking boot and crutches on Halloween. Just before Thanksgiving, I was began putting weight/pressure on my bad foot (the right one, if it matters), and then a couple weeks before Christmas stopped using the crutches. Now, I'm just using the walking boot and am likely going to stop using that at my next doctor's appointment (Monday, Jan 16th).

Gym visitation stopped completely through November, and I finally began going again (while still on crutches) in early December. Post-Christmas, I've been going and taking off my walking boot in exchange for a regular shoe while at the gym. The stationary bike has been good for my foot, and I've even begun swimming...which feels great. At my last doctor visit in mid-December he marveled at how well I was healing (Is that my superpower? Slow-acting regeneration, akin to Wolverine?) and that I might not even need physical therapy.

And that brings me to today...and to my issue/problem/question.

I, like many of you, I'm sure, have always had a finely tuned imagination. Along with this comes a very vivid sense memory. Hearing a particular song or smelling a particular scent can bring an entire afternoon rushing back to me. The problem with this is...I can (and have) vividly relived in my imagination the moment of my injury, several times since it happened. The rolling of the foot, the strange look of the ankle bone, my re-setting the bone by hand, etc. So now, while I'm well on my way to recovery, the IDEA of doing anything active scares the living daylights out of me. I've been invited to do several active things with friends for the upcoming months (e.g. skiing, playing basketball on our office team), but each time, I immediately go back mentally to that moment in time when I hurt myself...I cringe, and decline.

Have any of you experienced a broken/severely injured limb or other physical setback and had to deal with the mental barrier of getting back into action...especially when fear of re-injury and a vivid imagination are the key issue? And, if so, how did you get back into the swing of things?

[wildross]

Going up to take a hook shot (a beautiful shot) about 7 years ago and twisting my ankle (again) on landing. I just decided competitive basketball was not for me and started lifting weights (once I could walk again). Seriously. I just decided with my family responsibilities it was not worth the risks. But I can lift a lot of weight now!!

[ziffy]

It's a long post, but let me say one thing up front: YOU MUST go to physical therapy.

Now that's out of the way, here's my story. I tore my achilles tendon in 2009 during what was probably the most heated non-professional squash game to have ever been played. It was my left leg, and the moment it happened I knew exactly what I had done. I saw a surgeon, opted for the more invasive but more durable surgery, and told him point plank my intention was to 1) get back on the court and 2) not be hampered at all by this injury, so if that wasn't what he was going to help me go, I was going to find someone else.

Luckily he was great, really pushed me to get things moving again sooner rather than later, and was an all-around awesome guy. And this brings me to my recommendation and a suggestion. YOU WILL NEED PHYSICAL THERAPY. Sports therapy, to be specific. The best you can find. Check who the local sports teams go to and go there.

There are two kinds of PT out there and I had experience with both. The first was more mobility-based, and my therapist there said they focused mainly on getting people to functional stability again. Stairs, chairs, hills. That stuff. For old ladies who have a hip replacement. I got frustrated when my progress stalled a bit and I wasn't seeing any real improvements (I walked with a severe limp for a few months after my walking boot came off).

I decided to find a sports therapist on the recommendation of my surgeon. I knew it was going to be a different story when they had me change into workout clothes at the beginning. They put you through the paces, and the massage (read: torture) is one of the best things for muscles that are remembering how to work. Bosu ball, stability exercises, proprioception drills. Proprioception is how your muscles know to expect the ground without you necessarily looking at the ground etc. Balance and all that.

The thing to remember is that nobody expects you go kick a soccer ball before you're ready, but really intense sports-oriented physical therapy gave me the confidence to get back on the court about 6 months after my injury. And three years out, I squat about 80% of my BW on my repaired ankle, and I'm climbing serious mountains this year which has always been a dream of mine. You'll get there.

You'll have no fear about reinjury because a great therapist will give you the confidence you need through the proper rehab protocols.

Thinking about the day, and the days shortly after still give me the willies, but I don't have any issues playing all the squash I want or doing whatever I feel like on my ankle. I'm sure as I age, these won't always be available to me, so I'm making hay while the sun shines and so should you.

Lastly, dude...you're still in a boot. Don't go making any plans besides heading straight to the therapist. I'd question any surgeon who tells you otherwise, to be honest.

Get ready for more calf raises than you can shake a stick at!

[Elastigirl]

I agree on the p.t. My son broke his ankle and badly sprained it. The p.t helped immensly. If your ankle is weak, it will roll. He did all sorts of strenthening and balancing stuff. No massage though, I wish he would have. Hopefully, once you've done the therapy you'll feel strong enough to be active again.

My son hasn't really been very active since he broke his ankle. He was active growing up, but now in college, he really hasn't done much. He's done a little ultimate frisbee, but most stuff he doesn't anymore. And he's going to be a computer engineer, so I worry about the inactivity. I think he's like you, remembering and hesitant to get back in. Of course, he's 20 and not going to tell his mom he's afraid of getting injured, or if his ankle feels weak, but I notice when he no longer has time to go play football or ultimate with his friends. So, I' guess my advice is to do tons of pt and then even if it isn't soccer as soon as your pt gives you the ok start doing something fun you enjoy

[Pat G]

I experienced the same kind of hesitation after dislocating my right patella in a warm up match in 2008. The fear of running back onto the field or even going to training stopped me for a long time.

I only stuck with my PT for a month or two, when i plateaued like Ziffy did i just stopped. Didn't pick up any serious activity for the rest of the year. I played the next season in so much strapping and knee brace. As a result of that fear i wouldn't let anyone on my right side in attack and just stopped playing after a couple of games.

I basically only worked through that fear by thinking think about what I could do to make sure it didn't happen again, without having to drop physical activity from my life. I developed stick legs (on my already lanky frame) as a result of muscle deterioration.

Physically, Weight lifting and other activities have increased the stabilising muscles and the area around the injury, which has further removed that fear from my mind.

[21katykat01]

I think everyone else's comments about physical therapy are a good idea.

When I was younger, I fell off the high bar at gymnastics and cracked my skull. I was ill for weeks and weeks, and I was terrified to go near the bars after that. You should consider an adaptation of what's called "Exposure Therapy", which is used to treat phobias. The idea is that you start doing something really small that might cause you the slightest anxiety - maybe for you that'd just be walking slowly once you've got your boot off. You make a hierarchy of challenges, gradually going up towards makes you the most anxious (playing a physical sport maybe for you, but make it as specific as you can).

Your steps on the hierarchy should be really gradual - you shouldn't go from walking slowly to running. Instead, go from walking slowly to walking briskly, or walking slowly for more time. It really is a case of baby steps, baby steps. Sometimes, you might experience a set back where the next step has been too much. In that case, either go back to the previous step, or break the step down into two smaller parts.

It takes time, and commitment, but you've clearly shown you've got that! If you want, PM me and I can send you some resources on setting up an exposure hierarchy

Good luck!

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

I got sick on Absolute Manderin back in my heavy drinking days and i still can't smell anything like it without wretching. Target's bathroom cleaner smells like it and I can not use their bathrooms.

Edit: Seriously though, I have the same problem. I severely sprained my thumb (it hurt for 3 years) skiing and have not been able to bring myself to do it since.

[LRB]

I tore my calf when landing a jumping kick in Tae Kwon Do. Took me about six months to acknowledge that just ignoring it and hoping it'd get better wasn't working. Wound up going to a sports therapist, who I told I wanted to be able to do the jumping kicks again (with the torque from spinning and so on) and he took it on as his goal to make sure my leg was significantly stronger and more flexible than it absolutely needed to be, so that there'd be no risk of injury to it. It took about 4-6 months of 3x/week PT, but I got there. A few weeks after I went back to the do jang, I broke my toe doing a spinning backfist (yes, I broke my toe punching -- it takes a certain kind of talent (and ripped floor mat) for that), and decided that multiple injuries from the same sport were an indication that it was time to move on.

[andygates]

The Fear is common. Every cyclist (apart from the crazies) gets it after getting knocked off. The trick? Get back on your horse, as soon as you can. Soon as you are doing it, rather than thinking about it, it's not being a monster in the closet any more.

The longer you leave it, the bigger that imaginary gets, so man up (or woman up) and do something light and confidence-building.

(I know with riders, some of the nasty spills have required a pal to ride along with, just for a few miles pootling to the tea-shop, because you can't show your yellerbelly to your pals, now, can you? )