Dismounting and then not being able to get back on

[geekmoose]

Having a repeated struggle where I get so far into achieving goals (lost 9kg reasonably painlessly) but then I hit an event weekend away, birthday, and then seem to really struggle to get back into healthy eating until I've lost any gains made.

I've done this around four times now.

Has anyone got any hints or advice for getting back on my mount and continuing my questing? Or do you have any insight as to what's stopping me ?

[Katnroyal]

I have a training buddy that keeps me accountable! 

[Oh Beep]

I've found that doing it incrementally helped

 

So, first step was to hit my calorie goal 5 days a week - no matter WHAT food. Weekends were still bad habits.

 

Then I moved on to eating well 5 days of the week, within my calorie limit. Cutting out alcohol

 

The stage I am at now - 4 weeks later - is to clean up the weekends. So, beginning with reducing the days I drink, then the food.

 

I guess what I am saying is I've found taking it in smaller steps has helped. Its been frustrating because I know where I was, but its coming back slowly.

[geekmoose]

i struggle to even hit it for one day though, yet as soon as i do manage that day things seem to get right back on track without a hitch. There just seems to be something (internally) that is stopping me but can't work out/admit to what is is. 

 

Perhaps i need to do some form of spirt quest 

[Raincloak]

If you have a meal or a day of eating badly, limit it to one day. Don't fart around "until you've lost any gains made." Why waste time? Just get back up immediately.

The key to living right is to make good behavior a habit, rather than relying on motivation. Habits spawn only with consistent reinforcement. If you skip a day you damage the habit. If you skip more days, the damage multiplies. Getting motivated is great and awesome but you should not wait until you feel like working out or eating right, because as you've discovered, that isn't a reliable engine. Instead you need to focus on consistency.

[geekmoose]

Yup. Totally got that, and I'm not intentionally waiting for anything. If I was it would be easier. What I'm struggling with is why I find it so difficult to actually get going and if anyone had any useful or relevant insights to share.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Raincloak]

Uh, you find it difficult to "get going" because everyone finds it difficult.  There is no magic trick that will make it easier.  Sorry.  

 

Undoubtedly you've got the usual human brew of ego, perfectionism, self hatred, guilt, unreasonable expectations, personal inertia, an outdated self image, and years of previous habits to work against.  But as for EXACTLY how that plays out in your life, I haven't a bleeping clue.  If you really want, you can go see a counselor and spend some time exploring your personal history and how that affects your current behavior, but that's a bit beyond the scope of an Internet forum.

 

I repeat my previous suggestion: make it your priority to maintain a consistent "winning" streak.  If you're looking for a handy psychological trick to induce good habits, that's the best one I know.  Nobody likes to blow a good streak.  (stop laughing over there in the gutter, I can hear you kids...)

 

I like having a chart on the wall and marking off boxes day by day.  Another good one is the Habitica website, which rewards you with virtual gold and items for maintaining your habits.  Or you can have one of those "journal" threads a lot of people here at NF use.  Or make a bet with someone and arrange to suffer great punishments (eg, donations of your money to a cause you despise) if you break your streak.  Lots of options.

[geekmoose]

Thank for the advice, but I get the feeling you've been lucky enough to not have the same struggle as me. Streak charts - yup - use them. Progress charts - yup, use them. Punishments - not needed when I start, the issue is purely the restarting, it's a pattern I've recognised myself, and it's what I need to work on.

The most useful bit that you've posted is 'see a counsellor' along with 'bit beyond the scope of an Internet forum'. I was looking to see if anyone with similar issues had got some insight, which clearly there isn't.

[dexter101]

Firstly, this is very common so don't see it as something wrong with you.  

 

The simple thing is that ingrained into us is that birthdays have to be about eating cake or rubbish food.  We have to drink loads, etc etc.

 

Also habits form which when the body gets tired its falls back on,  3.30pm, I always start reaching for the snacks...

 

Look at what you do and make small changes.  

 

Its your birthday and you want a meal out, go to a steakhouse and eat the best steak on the menu.  Have it with 2 or 3 side dishes of veggies. Who wouldnt want that as their birthday meal!

 

break your habits by changing them.  couple of weeks ago I was eating 300-400g of carrot sticks each day because I had to snack.  My routine was to walk to the shop, buy biscuits or cakes etc and then eating the lot. replacing the high calorie food with low calorie food makes a huge difference.  Now I eat 3 or 4 gerkins in an afternoon.  

[geekmoose]

On ‎01‎/‎03‎/‎2016 at 4:58 PM, dexter101 said:

break your habits by changing them.  couple of weeks ago I was eating 300-400g of carrot sticks each day because I had to snack.  My routine was to walk to the shop, buy biscuits or cakes etc and then eating the lot. replacing the high calorie food with low calorie food makes a huge difference.  Now I eat 3 or 4 gerkins in an afternoon.  

 

Dexter - I think you've nailed it. The problem is the 'pain' of going cold turkey with carbs requires extra motivation to get over - which when you're in a sugar addled state is difficult to summon. That's why I end up back at the point where i'm at the point of desperation, so I've got the motivation to get over the hump.

 

So with the problem defined, it's time for tactics.

Not going to beat myself up over the occasional carb fest, but am going to reduce every barrier to resuming normal eating by

Printing a rescue card and pinning to the fridge which will contain

1. Permission to not beat myself up over the carb fest
2. Shopping list of items e.g, 400g of carrot sticks, peppers (basically crudité - the dip)
3. Two meal ideas
4. Motivational Quote
5. Space for start weight and then 2 days time weight

If I need to use it i'll let you know how it goes.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Everybody here has failed before, everyone.  What's important is to remember your reasons for getting healthier, and having a better lifestyle.  Don't get discouraged, just pick yourself, and try again.  For me, what helped was remembering the feeling of regret.  I could eat a whole bag of chips, but then I'd just feel down on myself, and I don't want that.  I'd rather feel a few minutes of discomfort, than a whole day's worth.

Don't let your emotional state of mind make you forget who you are, who you're becoming, and what you're capable of.

Now go forth, and kick some ass!

[Noname123]

What struggles are unique to you that no one else here seems to understand? Elaborate on those and maybe you'll get some focused feedback.

[geekmoose]

Slates, thanks for the comment, but Dexter101 triggered the insight which I subsequently commented on.

 

i didn't say my struggles were unique, I know they are not, but that the people who were commenting were having different ones to me. The reason for posting wasn't to gain an instant answer, but to get some insight into the problem so that I can come up with the solution.