How do you deal with the sugar/carb/whatever pushers in your life?

[Naturally]

The ones who catch you unawares, and seemingly make it their life's mission just to derail your awesome dietary progress.

I have given up chocolate for 12 months, and am now sugar-free too. But here's the thing. In planning my sugar-freedom, I planned for sugar pushers - who they were, what I'd say to them, etc, but I obviously missed out the one who got me on day 1 of the rest of my life sugar-free. Rambling story-short, he had made a milkshake, which he wanted me and everyone else to try. I congratulated myself for dealing so well with it in a totally improvised way by claiming not to like milkshakes. I congratulated myself too soon, because he was back, wheedling that I should just try a tiny bit, "for him." Now in hindsight that was a blinking stupid reason to give in - "for him"? WTF does it matter to him whether I personally try his goddam milkshake or not? Anyway I fell for it when I saw him pour out a teeny amount (25ml into a shot measure, to be precise) and I tried it, which meant a teeny tiny sip which must have been 5ml worth, and pronounced it "yuck". He actually agreed Thing is I had assumed it was strawberry flavoured and that I was therefore only breaking my less than 24 hour old vow to be sugar free. But oh, no, it was CHOCOLATE flavour! 2 months struggling without it, just to be foiled in this way. Dammit, damn damn damn.

So please, how do you deal with the pushers who catch you unawares? How could I have dealt with him more effectively? The kid already knows I don't eat wheat because of digestive issues, and I've had some pretty strong willed fights with him not to try a bit of this or that, so it seemed the least of the evils at the time to just "try it". He (and the other chef) are the sort to make it their honour-bound duty if I tell them the truth (I am eating healthily and for me for now that includes no sugar and chocolate) to do their hardest to sabotage that, just for their own fun. I know there are plenty of people out there who will sabotage things for all sorts of ridiculous reasons.

Last year when I was on a diet I politely ate 2 trianges of sandwich which were not on my eating plan and I wasn't expecting as we were visiting family who mentioned nothing about providing us with food.I refused the cake being offered around afterwards. The initial pusher wasn't a big problem then, but my own parents were, who both decided it was terribly rude of me to refuse to eat any cake, and when I still didn't budge insisted I take a slice home to eat, and had a go at me later on. Actually, I found it rude that I was being pushed to eat something which was so obviously against my diet when it was a time when my diet was very obviously related to my health - I had a broken leg at the time and desperately needed to lose weight and eat clean to help it heal!

So... who are your worst pushers, and what are your best coping strategies?

[The Tin Man]

Wow, those are some dedicated food pushers! Pulling the "try it for me" card is pretty out there. Who are these jerks who are determined to undermine you? They don't sound like friends.

My pushers are my roommates. We can all be bad influences on each other. Worst case is Friday nights when nobody wants to cook and we usually end up ordering pizza or Chinese or something. If you decline you rarely get a hard time but when I'm tired from a week at work I'm often vulnerable to taking the easy road and buying in.

[AKLulu]

I haven't had any pushers go at me yet. I'm not as committed to my diet yet as you are to yours (kudos to you!), so I still have a bite here and there of things I'm supposed to be cutting out and call it good. I'm sure if I was back in Alaska with my family I'd have a lot of people trying to get me to eat things at birthday parties and family gatherings. Especially when the amount of weight I'd be losing started to become noticeable.

It is sad how people seem to make it their goal to "ruin" you. The impression I get from people like that are that they think you're depriving/starving if you say it doesn't follow your diet, so they think they're "helping" by getting you to eat something that they think you truly want. Like I said, I haven't been there, but I would think the best thing would to first be honest and say, "No thank you, I really don't want any." and if they keep pushing... well I would probably threaten to leave or stop hanging out with them as much, but I don't know how reasonable that is.

That's a tough one, stay strong! And don't beat yourself up too much for slip-ups. Stay positive and keep moving forward

[ZenGwen]

I think there comes a point where you do have to tell them that they're being rude to you. Because frankly, they are. At best, they're placing their desire for you to affirm what good cooks they are over your choices about your health, and at worst, they're trying to get you to eat what they do so they don't feel bad about their own dietary choices compared to yours. I think the best way to approach it when there are people who are being really problematic about it is to draw attention to the fact that they aren't respecting your choices. It's the kind of thing where as soon as you draw any attention at all to their (hopefully unintentional) rudeness, most people will back off with major apologies.

"I'm sure you're a wonderful cook and it's very tasty. I'm just avoiding these foods for my health. I'm sure you can respect that."

"I'm sure your brownies don't need my seal of approval, and I'm also sure that my dietary choices deserve your respect."

"It's nothing personal - I'm sure it's delicious, but I've made my choices for my health. Please stop trying to 'tempt' me, I'm sure you don't mean it this way but I find it a bit rude."

[Drakenator]

Surprisingly the only real food pushers in my life are the people I work with. Someone is always baking some cookies or brownies or pie or cake for some occasion. And if it isn't any of those itis donuts on friday, my worst weakness. We have all of these healthy and fitness challenges at work yet people still jump in the sugar bowl with both feet. I fell off the Paleo wagon on late October and I am just now finding my way back to eating and feeling healthy again.

And if leftover food or dessert is forced upon me at family gatherings it goes in the trash as soon as I walk out of their door or at the next gas station. I politely decline once and state that isn't in our eating plan and if forced I just say ok, take it and pitch it. The guys around work don't push but they stick in a place where you have to walk by it to leave or enter the cube area. Like today there are peanut butter cookies with M&M's sitting out and as tempted as I am I just have to not look.

The people who are close to me know the deal and the plan I am on. So they don't push. They actually like seeing me succeed. Those who don't like my success, and those who attempt to derail my success don't receive any time or effort from me.

[morethanjustamom]

Use the "I'm intolerant" or "I'm allergic" route if necessary. It's not really a lie.

'Here, have some of my cake. I made it myself and it's really delicious.'

'Umm, no, thanks, but it does look good. I'm allergic/intolerant'

'Allergic to what?'

'*pick one* Gluten, eggs, dairy, sugar'

'That's not true. No one's allergic to sugar.'

'Yeah, I am...if I eat sugar, my hips/butt/thighs/stomach swell up, and it takes me weeks to recover. I'll pass on the cake, thank you.'

'Whatever.'

See? Easy, lol!

[Rivanariko]

I think there is a place to politely refuse, and a place to be less-polite about it. If you are a guest in someone's home and they offer you something, polite would be the way to go, and to try to stick with. Stick to your guns on it though. No one can force you to eat anything that you don't want to, and you should not be made to feel bad because you don't want a slice of cake.

As for milkshake guy? If he is trying to sabotage your diet just for fun, I think politeness is done. Give it to him straight up and tell him to the back the fuck off. Some people don't respond to the polite approach. He needs to know that you're serious.

['Roos]

I work with chefs too, and we get some pretty weird stuff coming out of the kitchens sometimes... anyway, my way to deal with it is when they offer me something I just say, "I don't eat (wheat, sugar, dairy, whatever)" and when they say, "oh, are you (allergic, diabetic, gluten intolerant, etc)" I just say, "Nope. I just don't eat it.". My chefs now don't even try, and even if I want to 'cheat' and try something, they try to prevent me saying things like, "But you don't eat (sugar, wheat, whatever)!" in a horrified voice.

When I first started I got a lot of "Well when did THIS start?!" kind of questions, at which point I would say, "oh about (however many weeks ago) and I just feel SO AMAZING!" I then rattle on end about how wonderful not having sugar is, or whatever, until they never want to hear about it from me again. It's worked pretty well.

[Elastigirl]

I askedmy this question a few months ago when dealing with food pushers. I did what the posters suggested and was polite but firm in my replies. Now, they have stopped pushing. After many times of saying no, they finally just got it, I don't want the sugar. If you are consistent in your saying no, eventually most people will get the hint.

[oystergirl]

Poor bunny...food is love to some people, but to this guy food was obviously power. Since you do care how others feel about you, you tend to make concessions in your plan to accomodate their feelings, not realizing that they are not accomodating yours. Whenever someone does this to me, and they do it plenty, I think to myself--why are they trying to push ME to do something I do not want to do when I would NEVER do that to them...this gives me a bit of a bitch attitude and that helps me make a choice.

Sometimes though, you can't avoid it. A few weeks ago we went away to ski with friends and they have a lovely Downs syndrome daughter who I love and am friends with. We skiied together for a while and then her folks said we were going to a restaurant she loved. She started raving about this fried chicken she adored and wanted me to have the same thing. At first I thought I could get away with ordering the chicken grilled but no, she kept going on about it and because we had been so tight, and spent so much time together and it was certainly so important to her, I decided to suck it up and have it. It WAS good and her JOY was good too at sharing the meal together...of course, my stomach rebelled and I was a farting banshee and crapper for 3 days after, but I felt it was an ok trade off...if I had been allergic to it, like shellfish, obviously I wouldnt have done it, but this is probably the only person I would make an acception for and the only reason.

I don't do it for my mother, my family or my other friends...they know better now, but it took a long assed time.

In the future, look at the dude, roll your eyes and say--you again?

[Ryan Sannar]

Start doing pushups. Ask if they can keep up.

But really. The fact is they are going to try to bring you down. Post your stories here. We'll support you.

[Naturally]

I'm going to be that annoying person who quote-replies to multiple posts. Sorry!

Wow, those are some dedicated food pushers! Pulling the "try it for me" card is pretty out there. Who are these jerks who are determined to undermine you? They don't sound like friends.

They're not friends, the milkshake guy is a 14 year old brat who I have the displeasure to work with, and whom is at that age where he thinks he is right all the time, and will spend all the time you (don't) have trying to prove it to you *rolls eyes*.

My housemate is a cheerleader thank god. How about you arrange to cook something fun with yours on Friday nights - doesn't have to be hard work, how about fajitas and you use lettuce wraps instead of wheat? Or treat friday night as a cheat night, if thats what you want.

It is sad how people seem to make it their goal to "ruin" you. The impression I get from people like that are that they think you're depriving/starving if you say it doesn't follow your diet, so they think they're "helping" by getting you to eat something that they think you truly want.

That's certainly true of the other pushers in my life - they have so many bad habits and shite themselves that they are made uncomfortable by someone breaking the mould.

"I'm sure you're a wonderful cook and it's very tasty. I'm just avoiding these foods for my health. I'm sure you can respect that."

"I'm sure your brownies don't need my seal of approval, and I'm also sure that my dietary choices deserve your respect."

"It's nothing personal - I'm sure it's delicious, but I've made my choices for my health. Please stop trying to 'tempt' me, I'm sure you don't mean it this way but I find it a bit rude."

Thanks, these are really useful lines to know, I shall practice them!

Surprisingly the only real food pushers in my life are the people I work with. Someone is always baking some cookies or brownies or pie or cake for some occasion. And if it isn't any of those itis donuts on friday, my worst weakness.

Well done to you for avoiding those temptations. I used to work in an office where chocolate was put right in my eye line. Temptation isn't a strong enough word for it!

Use the "I'm intolerant" or "I'm allergic" route if necessary. It's not really a lie.

'That's not true. No one's allergic to sugar.'

'Yeah, I am...if I eat sugar, my hips/butt/thighs/stomach swell up, and it takes me weeks to recover. I'll pass on the cake, thank you.'

'Whatever.'

See? Easy, lol!

Brilliant! I already use wheat/gluten intollerance a lot as an excuse, because I am. Its very handy actually!

I work with chefs too' date=' and we get some pretty weird stuff coming out of the kitchens sometimes... anyway, my way to deal with it is when they offer me something I just say, "I don't eat (wheat, sugar, dairy, whatever)" and when they say, "oh, are you (allergic, diabetic, gluten intolerant, etc)" I just say, "Nope. I just don't eat it.". My chefs now don't even try, and even if I want to 'cheat' and try something, they try to prevent me saying things like, "But you don't eat (sugar, wheat, whatever)!" in a horrified voice.

When I first started I got a lot of "Well when did THIS start?!" kind of questions, at which point I would say, "oh about (however many weeks ago) and I just feel SO AMAZING!" I then rattle on end about how wonderful not having sugar is, or whatever, until they never want to hear about it from me again. It's worked pretty well.[/quote']

I'm liking the idea of going off on one about the benefits of sugar-free so badly that they'll never ask again. Trouble is, the 14 year old will just rise to the challenge and talk carp. Rude is probably the way to go!

Start doing pushups. Ask if they can keep up.

But really. The fact is they are going to try to bring you down. Post your stories here. We'll support you.

He's the lad I had a woot moment with last week by suprising him with being stronger than him when he tried to annoy me so I grabbed his forearms to stop him doing something and he couldn't shake me off. Yah boooo to you sir!

Thank you all so much, every single reply has just reaffirmed my determination to kick the pushers to touch next time they try it. And they'd better not try it...

[CRM114]

Well seeing as I'm a product of the 80s I pull a Nancy Reagan and "Just Say No."

Its tough though, all of my friends are junk food junkies. As time has gone by though they have 'got it' and don't even bother tempting me (yesterday we went to California Pizza Kitchen... they had pizza, I had a salad).

[eco2pia]

I have had good luck by just flying under the radar. I never say I am on a diet. I claim to be not hungry, stuffed from the last meal, or even having a touch of the flu... if they made the food that is offered and it would be "rude" to refuse (grandma's special cookies) I take a small amount to "save for later" and then I drop it in the trash or offer it to someone else.

It sometimes helps (with the will power) if I have someone else in mind who will actually be happy for the treat, a child, a teenage boy with hollow legs, etc. In my mind I am saving it for later--to give to them!

[ducatisteve]

Use the "I'm intolerant" or "I'm allergic" route if necessary. It's not really a lie.

'Here, have some of my cake. I made it myself and it's really delicious.'

'Umm, no, thanks, but it does look good. I'm allergic/intolerant'

'Allergic to what?'

'*pick one* Gluten, eggs, dairy, sugar'

'That's not true. No one's allergic to sugar.'

'Yeah, I am...if I eat sugar, my hips/butt/thighs/stomach swell up, and it takes me weeks to recover. I'll pass on the cake, thank you.'

'Whatever.'

See? Easy, lol!

That is hilarious!

[Arashi]

I'm not as serious about my diet as some people here (I really admire them, but haven't managed to get to that level yet), so sometimes, if there is a social situation in which somebody offers me not very healthy food, I either refuse politely or take just a little and say I'm full, thanks. Sometimes it's ridiculous because the aunts who offer these foods are the same who say I desperately need to lose weight (which pisses me to no end; at Christmas one of them asked about my life and I purposefully talked about everything that went right during the year - work, college, going back to exercising, money, my acne treatment working... and she said 'now you only need to lose weight').

Of course, if I realize the person is only trying to sabotage me, I glare and say something incredibly rude. I'm not know by my huge kindness, after all, and anyone who tries to screw with my plans to get fit should expect at least a good dressing down.

[JPanda]

I guess the pushers near me would be my work (donuts / cake for every birthday or pizza parties randomly). My girlfriend is super supportive and has even joined me in going primal.

At work I treat it like this: "No thanks" or "I'm full, had a big brekkie/lunch" or "I'm going out tonight"; something neutral along the lines of that. Everyone is pretty easy going because I'm known as the "health" guy at work, so no one pushes too hard.

When it's completely unavoidable (long-time friends / family) I just allow myself to eat whatever and watch my portions. You can't do one squat and instantly be buff, so I know eating a slice of cheesecake isn't gonna make me instantly break out in fat.

[cracked_belle]

'That's not true. No one's allergic to sugar.'

'Yeah, I am...if I eat sugar, my hips/butt/thighs/stomach swell up, and it takes me weeks to recover. I'll pass on the cake, thank you.'

STEALING THIS.

[BadWolf]

Sometimes I claim I'm allergic to certain things to get away from pushers I don't know (aggressive sample lady at grocery store) because they can't argue with it, but generally I just say "No thanks, I don't eat X", which can be followed up with, "I'm sorry, but if I get off track I know it will take me awhile to get back on", "This is really important to me".

Or tell them that in your specific religious branch Lent is a year long commitment and the gnomes of hypocrisy will descend if you waver in your dedication O_O

[morethanjustamom]

Sometimes I claim I'm allergic to certain things to get away from pushers I don't know (aggressive sample lady at grocery store) because they can't argue with it, but generally I just say "No thanks, I don't eat X", which can be followed up with, "I'm sorry, but if I get off track I know it will take me awhile to get back on", "This is really important to me".

Or tell them that in your specific religious branch Lent is a year long commitment and the gnomes of hypocrisy will descend if you waver in your dedication O_O

I do this with the Sam's club sample pushers all the time! I claim to be allergic/intolerant of almost everything they're pushing.

[AprilMay]

I have found that the easiest way to finally get people at work off my back about what I have for lunch or breakfast is to just tell them that I am intolerant to wheat. Once I say that, I get a pity look and told how terrible it is that I can't have cake/cookies/pasta or whatever and then they leave me alone. I'm not allergic to wheat technically, but it defiantly screws with my system, and to avoid any details or long explanations, I just say I'm intolerant.

Anything else, like candy or pop, I just take back to my desk and toss in the trash, or put the pop in the office fridge. It ends up gone by the office food thief anyways. No name = fair game!

At home is another matter. My husband is not on a diet with me, so its tough to sit and watch him eat crackers/chips in front of the TV. We now have a "who can annoy the other the most" contest going. He has cheez-its and I make tuna fish salad and eat it with some carrots or celery. He hates the smell of tuna, so its a win in my book.

[HughMannity]

Heh... I work for a physician hospital organisation, so I get a lot of "help" from the nurse case managers on what I, as a diabetic, should eat. (45+g/carbs at every meal? I think not!) The biggest sugar pusher though is our medical director, a physician, who brings in donuts at least once a week. I keep thinking he should know better, but then I remember -- conventional medical wisdom and all that.

Outside of work, it's not a huge problem as I live alone. I do have one friend who believes strongly in "healthy whole grains" and is a semi-professional chef. Fortunately she's also very willing to work round people's dietary needs and preferences. So while she doesn't understand how I can thrive without whole grains, she's willing to give me the benefit of the doubt and not push stuff on me. Which is good, as I get to eat her food every couple of weeks or so.

[TheRikAllen]

My worst pusher would be my roommate, he doesn't understand why I would change my diet and cut out everything we've been eating the last 6 months living together. I told him but he's a long time smoker so his taste buds are probably shot and can't enjoy natural flavor (over salting everything, globs mayonnaise on just about everything and has to deep fry everything else).

Him and some of our neighbors I guess, one of whom saw me exercising outside (jump ropes don't work indoors...without something getting broken) and next time we saw them she asked why I worked out and when I said I needed to lose weight they said I was a perfectly healthy weight. No big deal...except they're obese (waddle when they walk, struggle to do so from a half a block away to our door). Not really a pusher, but not a direct motivator, though every time I see someone that overweight (and not doing anything to better themselves) it motivates me to Not become that person.

Your situation? Just say 'No, I'd rather not try it, it conflicts with the healthy lifestyle I've chosen for myself."

The guys around work don't push but they stick in a place where you have to walk by it to leave or enter the cube area. Like today there are peanut butter cookies with M&M's sitting out and as tempted as I am I just have to not look.

Next time there is something tempting you at work try this (it's worked for me with a lot of things in life) don't ignore them...stare them down and then say (out loud is best, internally does work) "I DON'T want you. You're not what I want, and since I don't NEED you, I'm going to let you stay right there." I used to be an impulse shopper...but this will work with almost anything.

[morethanjustamom]

Next time there is something tempting you at work try this (it's worked for me with a lot of things in life) don't ignore them...stare them down and then say (out loud is best, internally does work) "I DON'T want you. You're not what I want, and since I don't NEED you, I'm going to let you stay right there." I used to be an impulse shopper...but this will work with almost anything.

This struck me as hilarious. I can just see myself telling the Nutella at the grocery store, "No! I don't NEED you!!"

[TheRikAllen]

This struck me as hilarious. I can just see myself telling the Nutella at the grocery store, "No! I don't NEED you!!"

That's the general idea - if you can get past other people staring at you like you're crazy then it's actually fun to yell at inanimate objects (they don't get sad or angry, don't yell back, and have no feelings to hurt).