Is Your SO (or do you hope to have someday) a Nerd, Closet Nerd, or Non-Nerd?

[morethanjustamom]

Sorry! Didn't mean to exclude the non-married...I meant: married, dating, living with, hope to be with someday, etc.

Can I edit a post title? Got it!

I guess this is sort of an informal poll, but my curiosity has been piqued over whether the vast majority of "nerds" marry other "nerds", "closet nerds", or "non-nerds". I'll start:

I was a total geek/nerd in high school and beyond, and I'm ok with that. I was always top of the class, Miss Responsibility, liked "weird" stuff according to my peers (period costumes, crafting, sci fi, reading in general, math, science, etc.). Anyway, I met and married a guy that was the total opposite of me...social, funny, popular, good looking, basically Joe Cool. Or so I thought.

I'm married to a Closet Nerd. He would never admit that he's a Trekkie, a Sci Fi fanatic, loves anything post-apocalyptic, reads Political books constantly, analyzes data for fun (sports stuff, but still), etc. He's super smart but was very concerned with being "cool" in school, and still is in some respects, I think. I think me being such a geek allows him freedom to be himself at home.

So, what type are you married to?

[Thrillho]

She's equal parts nerd, dork, and crunchy-granola hippie. She's not that into sci-fi or fantasy, but she regularly beats me at Civ games and she can probably recite every Pratchett book ever.

[morethanjustamom]

She's equal parts nerd, dork, and crunchy-granola hippie. She's not that into sci-fi or fantasy, but she regularly beats me at Civ games and she can probably recite every Pratchett book ever.

I forgot the crunch-granola hippy part...I've got that too. And tomboy. My poor husband, it's a wonder what he saw in me.

[Durandal]

I'm only interested in dating nerds or closet nerds. Preferably ones cut from the same nerd-cloth as I am. Part of the reason is that it'll mean we have a lot in common already, even if we're geeky for different reasons, but mostly I don't want my future SO to think of all my dorky hobbies as something she'll have to put up with - or even worse, as childish habit that needs to be phased out.

[jswbach]

I was a nerd in school, too, though also reluctantly popular. Have always loved sci-fi and horror, and even a card-carrying member of Mensa. My first husband was an even bigger geek than I, RPGs and sci-fi all the way, but not into fitness at all. My second husband was the opposite - no imagination at all, but into cycling and mountain climbing. :-P Current boyfriend of 2+ years is not nerdy or geeky at all, but will watch all that sci-fi stuff with me. He's a pilot and although he's always been very strong with big arms and chest, doesn't currently work out. I'm hoping to change that when he sees the progress I'm making!

[161803398874989]

I'm a total nerd. Most people on the train between my hometown and my university know me as 'that guy with the Rubik's Cube'.

I don't give a damn about whether a girl is a nerd or not, as long as she tolerates my nerdiness.

[Deanna]

I met my husband online in a video game. He's very much a nerd but in a different way than I am. I don't have time to game much anymore but am still into sci-fi and have a job in IT. He's a programmer who, though he used to do video games, now does military sims. In his spare time he has a game side project going with some friends.

[Thrillho]

I guess I should point out: we technically met on IRC back in the day.

[weirdquark]

I live in a nerd commune.

I managed to convert one of my roommates to first the Angry Birds routine and then weight lifting so I even have someone to geek out about fitness stuff.

[morethanjustamom]

I live in a nerd commune.

I managed to convert one of my roommates to first the Angry Birds routine and then weight lifting so I even have someone to geek out about fitness stuff.

YESSSS! Convert the masses!!

[Guest Gemeaux]

Hmm it is a hard one . I know I am not as nerdy as most people and that is fine , nerds are cute . I think being a nerd also means being a child at heart too and that is important . If a guy is passionate about something it is a turn on , and I have a weakness for men who like comics , I just find it adorable even though I do not read them ( but would ) . Better than him going out and getting drunk .

I would love someone to play lasertag with me on weekends , who would go to dress up parties with me and not caring if we are cool . Someone who would go to the plantarium with me and explore the stars and who loves to read books as much as I do .

Anyone ?

[Book]

Hmmm. First time I've ever really thought about it, but no. My SOs have never really been nerds. I don't think I've known that many female nerds, not in person. I'm seriously confused right now.

[morethanjustamom]

Hmmm. First time I've ever really thought about it, but no. My SOs have never really been nerds. I don't think I've known that many female nerds, not in person. I'm seriously confused right now.

Why are you confused? Because you've never found any female nerds? There are plenty of us out there.

[Book]

There are and there aren't. I mean, I think you have to admit that this site is one of a very few where the ratio of male to female nerds is close to 1. My confusion stemmed more from asking myself why I had never dated someone more like me.

[morethanjustamom]

Opposites attract?

[Thrillho]

Me and my wife, in terms of interests and abilities, are almost completely opposite. It seems to work. We have very little overlap (which makes watching television and movies very tricky).

[Book]

Edit: This doesn't belong here. I love the connections people have made

[shutterpillar]

My husband is a computer nerd. he's a programmer and probably knows every computer language there is to know. The man codes for fun in his spare time. His brain just works like a computer in general.... sometimes I wonder if he is actually an android with an emotion chip. He is also an awkward, introverted individual like myself. Perhaps that's why we get along so well together, because there is truly no one on this earth that I would feel as comfortable being with.

He is also a PC gamer, though has recently been using the PS3 for gaming a little bit more.

As for me... I've been an outcast and a loner for the majority of my life and would tend to hang out with the freaks, geeks, and goth kids in school (though thankfully I have grown out of my goth phase LOL). Most people who meet me will say I like atypical things.... I am a HUGE HUGE vintage pin-up lover (anything from the 20's 30's 40's) sci-fi, zombies, plagues, diseases that wipe out mankind.... post-apocalyptic type stuff. Tattoos, piercings, body modifications intrigue me. I love anatomy and am a sucker for real life medical shows that feature surgeries or autopsies, much to my husband's dismay.

One of my favorite hobbies is to observe people. I am perfectly happy to go by myself to a restaurant or somewhere in public and just sit and watch people go about their lives. Creepy? Maybe. People are interesting to me, though I am not a "people person". I am socially awkward and a bit of an introvert.

So am I a nerd? Maybe, about certain things. Am I weird? Definitely. And i'm cool with that... thankfully so is my husband.

[ebm1224]

i was always called "weird" back in school and always considered myself a bit of a nerd/geek/dork because i was kinda socially awkward, didn't know how to do most girly things (or at least didn't take the time to do them regularly), and did well in school. was never much into typical "nerd things" like video games and such (i've only owned one video game system in my life...an nes...two systems if you count a gameboy).

BUT i always found that i got along with nerds. most of the people i've dated have been nerds in some way or another. some were into video games, some were internet meme fiends before that was the thing to do, one knew so much about music it was scary and had a degree in biology (though he worked in a video game store...yeah that was kinda weird). once i got asked out by a guy who worked at tmobile. part of the conversation before he asked me for my number (at least he asked as opposed to just taking it from the records in the store) was "are you into video games?" i responded "no, but i always seem to hang out with people that are." anyways, i just have always "gotten" nerds in some way. i think it has something to do with feeling like a bit of an outcast and like no one quite understood me growing up.

now, i've been dating an amazing guy for over 2 years and we've been living together for almost a year. he is a total nerd (but hot!). he grew up on dr. who, star trek, video games, computers, science fiction, etc. he plays dungeons and dragons. he knows music from all genres. the only thing that's not nerdy about him is that he isn't really a "book smart" kinda guy. he's brilliant, don't get me wrong, but he was never much for school.

our social circle is pretty nerdy as well which took me some time to adjust to. by that i mean that i went from always feeling like the nerdiest person in the room, to getting made fun of for not being nerdy enough! kinda weird. i seem to have found a happy middle ground now, though, and have even started giving more traditional nerdy things a try...i recently fell in love with battlestar gallactica an marathoned the whole 4+ seasons in a couple months.

so, that is my ridiculously long answer (and my life story)

[Elastigirl]

My husband is more of a nerd than I am. I am sort of nerdish in that I like books, and sci fi. But back ages ago in the long ago time it was he who first introduced me to the computer. We would sit and play a game on it for hours. Before video, it just had the words "You go down a path and find a troll" and then you typed in what you wanted to do. So, he made me even more of a nerd. And then we had an even nerdier son. I have gotten nerdier as I got older.

[Anthony K.]

My wife isn't nerdy, but I definitely am.

She has embraced my nerdiness, though, and has started to latch onto somethings (I partially blame that on our 4 year old son, who is making himself a miniature version of me with his love of super heroes, super hero movies, books, video games, etc.).

[unicornassassin]

My last boyfriend was a big old bike nerd. The one before that was into DnD, Settlers of Catan, and other board games, comics, nerdy tv, Terry Pratchet and other nerdy books that I don't know about, and was ravenous about going to cons of various sorts.

I heart me some nerds. I'm personally a closet nerd. I'm a knit-nerd, comic nerd, now a fitness nerd, bike nerd, and a crazy cat lady.

[Rivanariko]

I am more of the "closet nerd", though I found the reaction of the girls I work with when they found out about my nerdy tendencies to be hilarious. The conversation went something like this.

"You remind me of a friend of mine, only she's really nerdy."

"You don't think I'm nerdy?"

"No way! You're not nerdy at all!"

"I watch Star Trek."

"OMG WHY DID YOU TELL ME THAT??? I CAN NEVER LOOK AT YOU THE SAME WAY AGAIN!"

Keep in mind she is 11 and mentally ill. She has since offered to buy me Star Trek movies on several occasions.

Anyway, I love scifi and fantasy. I love to read. I was a serious straight A student and when I get interested in something, I tend to go more than a little overboard on it. I like video games, but I wouldn't say that I'm "into" them.

My husband, on the other hand, is a Nerd with a capitol N. He still has his Magic: The Gathering cards in a Christmas cookie tin on top of the fridge, though he hasn't played in a long time. Whenever he gets together with his friends from back home they spend days doing nothing but DnD. He introduced me to Firefly (which I ended up getting mad at him for when we got to the "end") and he is a SERIOUS PC gamer. He played WoW for 4 years and got bored with it because he had too many characters at level 80. He bought Rift when it came out, and played that for a few months, but killed the game by fall and was bored with it. I bought him Skyrim for Christmas and he finished it in under 3 weeks. He is impatiently awaiting the release of Terra Online, but amusing himself with Final Fantasy at the moment. He used to be really into Anime, and though isn't as much of an obsession anymore, he still enjoys it. He also tinkers. With everything. And is always playing with this or that idea. If he'd actually build one of them and get it patented, we'd probably be millionaires. But he's much better at thinking and musing than actually doing. He loved technology and gadgets, which has its advantages and disadvantages for me. On the one hand, he fixes my computer on an almost weekly basis (because I am technologically impaired), but on the other hand, I can't figure out how to unlock his phone. And he really wants me to get a smart phone, despite my habit of killing electronic things. (FYI, if your cell phone is dirty, don't put it through the wash with your jeans. And definitely don't dry it. That doesn't help.)

[KAllen]

My wife and I had a Klingon wedding performed by one of our shipmates (IKV Bayou Serpent). We named our firstborn Kahless, after the founder of the Klingon Empire, Kahless the Unforgetable. I think that shows our geek-ness!!!

[morethanjustamom]

My wife and I had a Klingon wedding performed by one of our shipmates (IKV Bayou Serpent). We named our firstborn Kahless, after the founder of the Klingon Empire, Kahless the Unforgetable. I think that shows our geek-ness!!!

Awesome!