Not all those who wander are lost

[Jeffiner2001]

Tl;dr – Hi, I’m new to the NF Academy. Here’s my why:

 

Hi everyone, I’m new around here and finally got the courage up to not only sign up for the NF Academy, but also to publicly post my why.

1. I need to be strong, to help carry my weight in my family, and more when others can’t due to injury or disability. I need the energy to be able to take care of what needs to be done.
2. I have let life slip by me for too long. Our lives are so fleeting, and I have let my fears and body hold me back. I’m so sick of not having the energy to do things, and I need support from like-minded people.
3. My family has a history of medical problems, including diabetes and heart disease.  I will NOT follow their path! I will break the cycle, and teach my future children the RIGHT way to live – without limits.

 

 

Here’s the long version: 

As I write this, my father is in a hospital room waiting for a double bypass surgery in the morning. He’s had a host of health problems since I was little, including type 2 diabetes. As much as I’m scared for him and what he is going through, a small self-serving part of me is thinking about how this could be me in the future. I’m very much Hobbit shaped, and pushing 270 at 5’ 2”, making me around 100 pounds overweight from when I last felt comfortable in my own skin. I’m basically pre-diabetic, and genetically pre-disposed to heart problems. My mother and sister have both gotten gastric bypass, but while tempting sometimes I know it’s the wrong path for me.

 

I have PCOS and insulin resistance (basically akin to pre-diabetes). The main treatment is metformin, which I have recently chosen to stop taking because of the side effects. I’d like to have a baby, but so far all we’ve gotten is 2 miscarriages.  I feel like my obesity (yes, I said it even though it’s a nasty word) is part of the cause, though the doctors could not find any reasons for the losses.

 

I need to be stronger, physically.  There was an injury to a close family member a couple months back, and the person who I rely on as a partner can barely walk or use their arm some days. So, I’ve had to try and pick up more chores around the house that they can’t do, things like laundry and taking out the garbage, which are apparently physically taxing to me.  When did I get so out of shape that I can’t take out the garbage without huffing and puffing?

 

My mental strength leaves much to be desired. I feel like I’m mentally strong, but all I am is good at burying my feelings and not experiencing emotions as much. I have problems breaking bad habits and setting good ones, and while my family and friends are supportive, they are not like-minded per se and have not walked the path I have chosen. Thankfully, I tried out Rising Heroes (it wasn’t for me) and found how incredibly supportive this community is. A big part of my decision to purchase NF Academy was the community - it’s like a warm hug when you really need one.

 

I have to figure out how to stay accountable to myself with the new habits I hope to build, and to ditch the habits that are leading me down the wrong path. It has not worked out so far with relying on someone else to help me be accountable.

 

[Pauwelzz]

Welcome to the rebellion! I hope that your goals will be reached and that u will find what you are looking for in life
Keep us up to date with the progress!

[Bean Sidhe]

Welcome as well.

It sounds like you have had a rough go of it, but it sounds like you have a good set of motivation on why you chose this path. Each of us chooses it for our own reasons, but once you make that decision, you will start doing what needs done. I would love to say it is easy, but that depends on you. I will not lie, I still have days where the world seems too hard, where it would be easier to give up and take the road that I don't want. And while I am new here, I am not quite new to the fight.

 

I hope your father is okay, and start small if you need to. Good luck with this path.

[Jeffiner2001]

13 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Welcome as well.

It sounds like you have had a rough go of it, but it sounds like you have a good set of motivation on why you chose this path. Each of us chooses it for our own reasons, but once you make that decision, you will start doing what needs done. I would love to say it is easy, but that depends on you. I will not lie, I still have days where the world seems too hard, where it would be easier to give up and take the road that I don't want. And while I am new here, I am not quite new to the fight.

 

I hope your father is okay, and start small if you need to. Good luck with this path.

 

Thank you, he is doing well.