Nerdy ways of meeting women?

[Rosen]

I give up trying to talk to you guys about the PUA stuff ... there is a lot more then the TRICKS you are talking about. I never once mentiond to be anything else then yourself, just to be more direct and confidant... I pointed to the PUA book , because its a right step in that dirrection. There is more girls posting here then guys, not that it's a bad thing. But as every guy knows... never take tips about dating girls from a girl... Of course you should talk to girls in concerts , coffe places and etc. I wanted to point out that it doesn't matter where it is. Just talk... thats it.

[AKLulu]

I understand what you were trying to say, Rosen. I don't think he was advocating the goal of most pick-up artistry. He was simply trying to give advice on how to approach people, which we seem to have a problem with around here. You can still use some of the approach skills with a more meaningful goal.

[The Tin Man]

I give up trying to talk to you guys about the PUA stuff ... there is a lot more then the TRICKS you are talking about. I never once mentiond to be anything else then yourself, just to be more direct and confidant... I pointed to the PUA book , because its a right step in that dirrection. There is more girls posting here then guys, not that it's a bad thing. But as every guy knows... never take tips about dating girls from a girl... Of course you should talk to girls in concerts , coffe places and etc. I wanted to point out that it doesn't matter where it is. Just talk... thats it.

I don't think anyone meant to go after you personally on the PUA stuff. It's just that it's a field where people with less than stellar intentions can reside and there is a fine line between the good side of it (confidence boosting) and the skeevy manipulations that fuel the not entirely undeserved knee-jerk reactions to it all (including sex as the endgame of approaching women). Even the Amazon description of the book comes off to me as sketchy.

I can't recall any advice you gave in this thread that tended towards the negative side. You stuck to the worthwhile PUA stuff of "Just talk... thats it". The women in this thread have shown that different people react to the same thing differently.

Summary: Some PUA stuff is sketchy. Nothing you said.

[nickls]

Rosen, I am with you buddy, you won't meet any women without first saying hi to them. Do whatever it takes to get the confidence to take that first step. Getting in better shape and alcohol can also help

Also agree with everyone who said classes and activities are great places to meet people. I would also stress that if you want to meet fit active people, sports leagues, running groups, outdoors clubs, and gym classes are all likely spots.

It drives me nuts when my wife asks me sweeping questions about men as if there are universal rules. Yes, women and men are different in some ways, but don't make the mistake of over-generalizing or stereotyping. People are all different and we are also all the same.

[Arashi]

I give up trying to talk to you guys about the PUA stuff ... there is a lot more then the TRICKS you are talking about. I never once mentiond to be anything else then yourself, just to be more direct and confidant... I pointed to the PUA book , because its a right step in that dirrection. There is more girls posting here then guys, not that it's a bad thing. But as every guy knows... never take tips about dating girls from a girl... Of course you should talk to girls in concerts , coffe places and etc. I wanted to point out that it doesn't matter where it is. Just talk... thats it.

Tin Man already explained a lot of the problems with PUA - not what you said specifically, but the pick-up artists themselves - but I just want to add that though approaching girls is better than not doing so, you must take into consideration the way you do it. We're (well, I am, at least) just pointing to you that you gotta watch out so you don't come off as creepy or threatening in certain situations.

[The Tin Man]

We're (well, I am, at least) just pointing to you that you gotta watch out so you don't come off as creepy or threatening in certain situations.

From a male perspective, pretty well explained in Doctor Nerdlove's article Don't Be A Creeper.

[Arashi]

From a male perspective, pretty well explained in Doctor Nerdlove's article Don't Be A Creeper.

Should be required reading the moment guys hit puberty.

[ZenGwen]

I was excited to contribute, but then I realized I seem to meet females pretty much exclusively at parties, clubs, or shows :/

As an engineer, meeting girls at school just isn't that great of an option

Heh. You know, I got into Carnegie Mellon mech engineering. And didn't go, because I wouldn't have been able to keep up with the math, and it was completely obvious from my interview that they'd only taken me because they needed girls for their ratio. Vicious circle, sorry!

Also, I'm usually in a rush and being stopped by some random guy who decided he just had to meet me... unless I'm window shopping, or waiting for the subway, or something, you'll probably get a pretty rude answer because I have better things to do with my time than pay attention to every single guy who says something to me in the streets. I have learned to tune out men because I read rude comments all the time.

YES. This.

I give up trying to talk to you guys about the PUA stuff ... there is a lot more then the TRICKS you are talking about. I never once mentiond to be anything else then yourself, just to be more direct and confidant... I pointed to the PUA book , because its a right step in that dirrection. There is more girls posting here then guys, not that it's a bad thing.

Look, that's great, yes, people just need to be confident. Just, bringing up PUA stuff wasn't the best way to get that across, I think.

But as every guy knows... never take tips about dating girls from a girl...

Even when those girls date girls?

Actually, there is one piece of dating advice which I always give my guy friends, which they never take, and always regret. "Don't stick it in the crazy."

No one ever listens. And then they get broken. Sigh. So you know. Don't do that.

[GreenEyesBright]

"Don't stick it in the crazy."

No one ever listens. And then they get broken. Sigh. So you know. Don't do that.

:laughed so hard that I snorted:

Go Big or Go Home! Sent from my Atrix using Tapatalk.

[Sloth the Enduring]

"Don't stick it in the crazy."

Sage advice, unfortunately everyone needs to learn it the hard way. I've generalized that to, "Don't talk to crazy." Who has time to deal with it.

You know, almost no one I know picked up their wives. They all met through friends. I had two rules when I was single that served me well. One was to say yes to every social invitation that came my way. You won't meet someone staying at home playing video games. It is also self-reinforcing, the more you go out, the more you get invited out and pretty soon you have a social life. Besides giving you more opportunity to meet the fairer sex, you seem more promising too.

The other rule I called the rule of Jodi, whenever you go any where, clean up a little. Whenever I ignored this rule, I ran into this girl I was sweet on named Jodi. Stopped in the grocery store on the way back from Mt. Biking with mud in my hair, smelling like shit - there she was. Need to do laundry, wearing plaid shorts and a striped shirt at the coffee shop - there she is. I don't think I impressed her much.

[Heathgirl]

Bottom line: just go out to different things... and TALK to someone!

I live in a small town, but when i actually go out (to a larger city that's near) it seems everyone just stays in their insecure bubble & then complains that nothings happening .... make it happen! hahah

[TheOtherScott]

I met my wife at church. If you're not the church type, volunteering for causes you care about is roughly the secular equivalent. Plus if you care enough about something to donate your time, odds are, it's a dealbreaker if your partner is apathetic about it.

[Silentplanet]

Haha, sometimes crazy is good =)

[AKLulu]

Okay, so I'm sure you're all reading Steve's new blog post as we speak, so you could have gone to this link already (or if you've been around long enough, you read it when it was first posted). One thing we've talked about a lot here is confidence - and who knew? Steve already wrote about that one!

[The Tin Man]

Lulu, five minutes ahead of me...

[AKLulu]

Bwahahahaha. I'll let you post it in the other threads

[Guest Snake McClain]

I didn't read ever reply here so maybe i missed this but, bub i have to ask....

You were together for SEVEN years. Are you really ready to invest your energy into someone right now? I'm not being critical. I am just asking objectively. If you say you are then sure go for it. But man seven years is a long time and I'm sure there is a lot of baggage. I keep finding as i try to date that I just simply don't have the energy to put into someone else. I had so much worn out of me in my last relationship (was married for 4 years) and man let me tell you it left me with nothing left to give. Not only that I realize that it has made me somewhat selfish. Just somethings to consider. No need to explain yourself here or to me. Just a thought.

[Loren Wade]

I keep meaning to interject into this thread, then I realize I'm married, and further have nothing to add.

So I'm really saying I want to contribute without contributing.

Well, that was pointless.

[The Tin Man]

I didn't read ever reply here so maybe i missed this but, bub i have to ask....

You were together for SEVEN years. Are you really ready to invest your energy into someone right now? I'm not being critical. I am just asking objectively. If you say you are then sure go for it. But man seven years is a long time and I'm sure there is a lot of baggage. I keep finding as i try to date that I just simply don't have the energy to put into someone else. I had so much worn out of me in my last relationship (was married for 4 years) and man let me tell you it left me with nothing left to give. Not only that I realize that it has made me somewhat selfish. Just somethings to consider. No need to explain yourself here or to me. Just a thought.

Excellent point, Bruce. Nobody brought up whether after only two months it's really a good idea. I was operating with the assumption that he was starting to think about what to do down the line when he's ready but should have stated that. My very first reaction to this was "only two months after a seven year relationship?"

[Silentplanet]

I once met a girl through trying out roller skates foe the first time and doing horribly. She helped me figure it out and before too long we were dating.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk

[Guest Gemeaux]

I met a guy once while I was reading a book about movies on the train and he asked me about it . We had a thing going on for a while and now we are just friends . I met my last boyfriend through his mother , she set us up . We dated for two years .

[Silentplanet]

*note to self* get mother out there, she's not hooking me up nearly enough.

[Guest Gemeaux]

Haha . I was looking for a job , went to the agency where she worked at and while she was looking for jobs I joked " you should help me with my love life " as she was so nice . She then took out her camera and showed me a picture of her son , then took one of me and after work drove to his place to show him . He then texted me that night . So maybe go to job agencies or become friends with sweet ladies . Go to an rsl at bingo night , they might have nice granddaughters lol .

[Red1263]

Haha . I was looking for a job , went to the agency where she worked at and while she was looking for jobs I joked " you should help me with my love life " as she was so nice . She then took out her camera and showed me a picture of her son , then took one of me and after work drove to his place to show him . He then texted me that night . So maybe go to job agencies or become friends with sweet ladies . Go to an rsl at bingo night , they might have nice granddaughters lol .

Gemeaux, be wary of the advice you give, some of us (myself included) are just desperate enough to try it! *Runs to Bingo Night*

[Guest Gemeaux]

Hey , got to try different things to get different results