Vulnerability...

[GreenEyesBright]

Writing a piece on fears and the term vulnerable has come up a lot. However being an analytical person, its not an emotion I really understand. So I thought I'd ask y'all. How do you define vulnerable? What makes you feel vulnerable?

Your thoughts?

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[Guest Gemeaux]

To me it's letting myself fall in love despite the chance of really getting hurt .

And just in general , letting your walls down and letting the world see your flaws and the person you really are .

[Grosby]

I'm a bit of an introvert (though no one believes me) and I feel vulnerable when I'm put in a social situation - alone. With no one I know, or know well.. I feel very vulnerable, as though everything I say is being analysed and then I'm being judged. It's quite an irrational feeling (in that case), really.

[Oklibrarian]

Being vulnerable is when you accidentally or deliberately let people see deeper layers to you than the superficial character you play to succeed in society. Only 3 or 4 people get that privilege in my life, I'd like to have a few more that I let in now that I'm becoming less scared to open up, but frankly it takes a while before someone passes my screening tests. Also, there are people I'm vulnerable to about certain subsets of my life--like my trainer knows a lot about my myriad body insecurities, whereas a close classmate is more likely to receive venting about my Ph.D program. The older I get, the less I worry that my walls are a bad thing, as long as I have a few people who I trust enough to let in. I suspect it's that way for a lot of introverts who appear extroverted.

[Bumblebee4]

For me vulnerable is more about being in a situation that I feel there are things that are out of my control. I.E. being in a scary part of town alone and HAVING to go into a store to pay for gas, being in a large crowd such as a festival where there is lots of drinking and stupid (my opinion) people doing unpredictable things. I mostly feel vulnerable when I don't feel I have total control.

I don't feel vulnerable in love or opening up to people for the most part as those types of things I do as a choice and I make that choice with the best of intentions with all the knowledge that I have at that time. Mind you, I rarely fall in love and I rarely open up past the few superficial layers but when I do I know that I chose to.

[Silentplanet]

I feel vulnerable every time offer something about myself that I am emotionally invested in. E.g. If I were to explain my feelings to someone who asks me directly, and were to do it honestly.. I would feel vulnerable. I have no defenses against a negative reaction I would just have to go cold =P

[Zorch]

For me vulnerable is more about being in a situation that I feel there are things that are out of my control. I.E. being in a scary part of town alone and HAVING to go into a store to pay for gas, being in a large crowd such as a festival where there is lots of drinking and stupid (my opinion) people doing unpredictable things. I mostly feel vulnerable when I don't feel I have total control.

To me, this is the very definition of vulnerability - namely when you're in a situation where something bad *could* happen to you, and there's little you can do to control it. And yes, sometimes being vulnerable can be the result of deliberately relinquishing that control, such as opening oneself up to someone else.

I think self-confidence can go a long way towards reducing feelings of vulnerability - in some situations, but not all.

[HorrorGeek]

Being vulnerable is when you accidentally or deliberately let people see deeper layers to you than the superficial character you play to succeed in society. Only 3 or 4 people get that privilege in my life, I'd like to have a few more that I let in now that I'm becoming less scared to open up, but frankly it takes a while before someone passes my screening tests. Also, there are people I'm vulnerable to about certain subsets of my life--like my trainer knows a lot about my myriad body insecurities, whereas a close classmate is more likely to receive venting about my Ph.D program. The older I get, the less I worry that my walls are a bad thing, as long as I have a few people who I trust enough to let in. I suspect it's that way for a lot of introverts who appear extroverted.

This.

Also, whenever I have to answer one of those stupid "name one thing people would never guess about you" type questions, I always answer "I'm shy." And no one believes me. I think it is funny that a few of my fellow nerds have the same thing going.

[leadchipmunk]

Being vulnerable to me isn't so much the fact that something bad could happen to me, but more that something bad could happen to those that I love or those that I am protective over (mainly the girls I see as my little sisters). Especially when I can't do anything to help.

Outside of those situations, I have truly felt vulnerable in only 3 other times. That was telling my feelings of emotional attraction (and true love in one case) to different girls. It always ended badly, so I feel I'm building thicker and thicker walls against it now, which will only lead to more vulnerability later on in my life.

[oystergirl]

Vulnerable is allowing folks to access parts of you where the fear lives and still being open to them visiting those parts...

[IcePrincess]

If you have a few minutes to watch this, I think its the best explanation of vulnerability I've ever seen.

[humanperson832]

If you have a few minutes to watch this, I think its the best explanation of vulnerability I've ever seen.

Oh man. That was... needed. I fall into the category of describing vulnerability as excruciating. I know this needs to change if I'm ever going to be in a meaningful, satisfying relationship.

[Guest Snake McClain]

I'm going to have to say that for me it is any position I am in that puts me in danger either physically or emotionally.

Some physical situations are dangerous but I don't feel vulnerable...as if i've over come them already mentally maybe. But emotional stuff...It is just as if there is always this wall where in a relationship they know me and they know me so well I'm waiting for the moment they use my flaws and mistakes against me. I'm just always waiting for them to say "hey this guy is a loser" or whatever. Even with my friends. Like I'm waiting for them to realize "hey, he isn't really that smart." or "he really isn't that good at this thing." So for me I guess my insecurities are my vulnerabilities and they pretty much crush me in certainly any romantic relationship before I even get started...which is why I don't.

It's hard to explain. Being open and honest with somone about my feelings makes me feel incredibly child like and I try to avoid it at all costs.