Good Idea Bad Idea

[scarletleavy]

Nah, I wouldn't either.

But then, I'm seriously considering paying someone to teach me how to apply makeup. At 23. So I'm not the mostly feminine lady either.

I've been asked if I'm really a woman before. I aso have no idea how to do makeup either, mascara is the most technical thing I can do and that's a few times a month kind of thing.

[Librarian of Doom]

Nah, I wouldn't either.

But then, I'm seriously considering paying someone to teach me how to apply makeup. At 23. So I'm not the mostly feminine lady either.

I'm in the same boat re: the makeup and I'll be 30 in a few weeks :-)

[JanObe]

hey, that is awesome that you want to encourage her and reward her on her journey! It might not be a bad idea to ask her what she would like is she reached a certain goal. Then she would have something to look forward too and you know she wants it!

[morethanjustamom]

I've been asked if I'm really a woman before. I aso have no idea how to do makeup either, mascara is the most technical thing I can do and that's a few times a month kind of thing.

I'm 32...my 14 yr. old daughter knows a million times more about hair and makeup than I do, and I'm ok with that. My husband digs a low-maintenance chick.

I agree with the 'know thy significant other' point. At the beginning of my workout journey I would have loved a meal out, spa day, etc...now I would be ecstatic if my husband would surprise me with a Power Rack...yeah, baby!!

And Snake, I thought your "script" was hilarious!

[leadchipmunk]

I'm with everyone else, do not buy a dress that does not fit her right now. If you want to get her a dress, then take her to the store and let her pick out what she wants. I also like the idea of an experience or activity date. Take her on a hike to the tallest or most scenic mountain/hill/whatever in the area and have a picnic overlooking the scenery.

As for the suggestion of jewelry, I've known more women that did not like jewelry as a gift than those that did. Personally I see it as a cop out, kinda seems like you are saying "I didn't know what to get you, so I got the most expensive thing here. You like money right?"

I would NOT buy a gift card to her favorite store (as that seems really impersonal) but as was mentioned maybe a certificate for a SPA TREATMENT! and you can pitch it as, "Baby girrrrl, yous been workin so hard and lookin so so fine, and i know yo azz be stressin, cuz lookin good be hard. So i got you this. Go relax for the day. WORD!" then throw up some *rap hands* and call it a day.

Thanks snake! I tried that today and got a slap in the face and lost my girl. But on the bright side, I got a trip to the spa that I paid for. That's a win, right?

But then, I'm seriously considering paying someone to teach me how to apply makeup. At 23. So I'm not the mostly feminine lady either.

There is nothing wrong with not knowing how to use makeup. I've always preferred a woman without makeup, or very very little at best. I've actually never found anyone who looks better with makeup on than without. I can understand having a little bit more for special occasion, wedding and funeral (but only your own for both cases), but that's pretty much it. All it does is cover up what makes you beautiful. It doesn't help your looks, just hides it.

Sorry for the rant, I've just seen too many beautiful women that decided they want to be a clown. And my views may not be everyone's, but from what I can tell most guys think at least somewhat similar to this.

[Raikas]

There is nothing wrong with not knowing how to use makeup. I've always preferred a woman without makeup, or very very little at best. I've actually never found anyone who looks better with makeup on than without. I can understand having a little bit more for special occasion, wedding and funeral (but only your own for both cases), but that's pretty much it. All it does is cover up what makes you beautiful. It doesn't help your looks, just hides it.

Sorry for the rant, I've just seen too many beautiful women that decided they want to be a clown. And my views may not be everyone's, but from what I can tell most guys think at least somewhat similar to this.

Eh, I hear a fair number of people (usually men, but women as well) say this and often the "no makeup" woman they're complimenting is wearing makeup. Someone who uses the subtle stuff and knows what they're doing just doesn't register as "wearing makeup". And sure, people who overdo it may look like a clown to you, but sometimes that is what they're going for - it's often a subculture thing (and I say this as a mostly non-makeup person myself).

It shouldn't need to be an "unfeminine" versus "clown" thing.

[Guest Tigger]

If you guys are both committed to a healthier lifestyle, maybe suggest some sort of experience or activity based date, rather than just a fancy restaurant?

I responded 'yes' to the poll because of this^

I think reward systems are fantastic, and I even try to plan them ahead of time so that when I gain a level, I get a gold star That being said, I also love Steve's approach of a reward system (I don't remember what the original article was about). You don't want to reward losing 5lbs with a chocolate cake, that's just counter productive in many ways.

Try to think of something that's related to her goals and that will encourage her to keep at it even after she has achieved a major goal. For example, one of my goals this summer is doing 1 pull up. As a reward for completing this goal, I get to go rock climbing at a nearby indoor gym!

Ask her about her specific wellness goals, and plan accordingly Good luck!

[leadchipmunk]

Eh, I hear a fair number of people (usually men, but women as well) say this and often the "no makeup" woman they're complimenting is wearing makeup. Someone who uses the subtle stuff and knows what they're doing just doesn't register as "wearing makeup". And sure, people who overdo it may look like a clown to you, but sometimes that is what they're going for - it's often a subculture thing (and I say this as a mostly non-makeup person myself).

It shouldn't need to be an "unfeminine" versus "clown" thing.

I've seen them saying that for having subtle, well used makeup, and I'm completely fine with that. I'm usually pretty good at noticing when it is subtle and when it is no makeup, but that's only if I'm paying pretty close attention. And my clown reference is more towards the people (male and female) in my age group (late teen to late 20s) and in my area (I don't have enough experience outside of my area to say otherwise) that truly do think that a quarter of makeup makes them look beautiful.

I may have exaggerated a bit, but that was an attempt to enhance my point that I believe true physical beauty is natural and should only be enhanced by makeup not covered. (I actually have a whole spiel on the differences between beautiful, pretty and cute, but that is a conversation for another time) But anyway, these views are just mine. I wasn't trying to cause 'an "unfeminine" versus "clown" thing'. My apologies.

[Wicked Pixie]

Bad idea: dress that is too small to wear.

Good idea: Spa gift cert so she can get a massage after all the weeks she will now be spending in the gym.

^This-

Exactly what I was going to suggest!!!

[Lolken]

My Ex would have stabbed me if i did something like this.. before she lost weight hahah..

If the reward was given after the goal of size 8 was reached then cool ... before and you could get hit by a truck.. just my $.02.

[tvcasualty]

Just asking for trouble. Think of something else. Wanting to get into clothes you can't get into is extremely frustrating and disheartening, not motivating. Take her on a fun fitness based date like a climbing wall or swimming or horseback riding and then if you really want to go the extra mile bring along a basket of healthy but delicious foods (think whole grain baguette and a variety of fruit like strawberries and seedless red grapes, some low cal cheese and water - ALL PORTION CONTROLLED), and eat outside with a boombox or ipod playing nice relaxing music (i recommend bluegrass, sweet 60s stuff, or soul). Yes, this could be called a picnic, but whatever. Something like this will show her that working towards a fitness goal can actually be a pleasurable experience, and it won't make her feel like a fat jerk. Healthy food is delicious, body motion is fun, and most importantly you are in it together. They call me doctor love.

[sarahmay]

I have bought clothes in gola size before and they have hung in my wardrobe and never been worn and I felt CRAP....... So thats a BIG No on that one...... what you should do is go shopping with her, and genuinly enjoy the day and be focused on her..... goodluck