How do I hit on a dude, like a 'nice' girl?

[So Late So Soon]

I have no input to this thread really but I am interested in the advice. I am permanently in the friend zone with every guy I know, and the one I am madly in love with I am in friend zone so deep there is probably no escape. Kinda why I want to be a girlie girl.... maybe, MAYBE I can stay out of the friend zone if I am perceived to be a girl and not just one of the guys.

Have you told him how you feel? just speaking from experience with most really cool girls i'd never say anything if i did like them because i'd be to afraid it would creep them out if they didn't feel the same way. Maybe there is more of a chance than you think

[Guest Gemeaux]

I have no input to this thread really but I am interested in the advice. I am permanently in the friend zone with every guy I know, and the one I am madly in love with I am in friend zone so deep there is probably no escape. Kinda why I want to be a girlie girl.... maybe, MAYBE I can stay out of the friend zone if I am perceived to be a girl and not just one of the guys.

But if you were a " girly girl " would you feel happy ? Only do that if it is something you want .

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[pixieopower]

oh he knows... he knows a lot. And we have talked about it. It's all very Castle / Becket and I'm Castle LOL. On the other hand he gets SUPER twitchy when i bring around a new guy friend, and freaks if I dont talk to him for a couple of days LOL.

I want to be a girlie girl so I can do my hair and nails and not feel like a poser. and to get more comfy wearing cute girly clothes, with ruffles and stuff. I WILL master braids! I HAVE mastered the sock bun LOL.

[Red1263]

oh he knows... he knows a lot. And we have talked about it. It's all very Castle / Becket and I'm Castle LOL. On the other hand he gets SUPER twitchy when i bring around a new guy friend, and freaks if I dont talk to him for a couple of days LOL.

I want to be a girlie girl so I can do my hair and nails and not feel like a poser. and to get more comfy wearing cute girly clothes, with ruffles and stuff. I WILL master braids! I HAVE mastered the sock bun LOL.

Wait, so he knows of your feelings for him and yet does NOTHING?! This man has no right to be twitchy or anything, for he has made no move to court you. You deserve happiness, and if this guy isn't willing to provide it for you, then you have every right to move on and search for it yourself.

BTW I have no idea what's meant by the Castle/Becket reference...

[WarriorAmy]

I can't wait to see how this turns out!

[pixieopower]

Castle/Becket ... from Castle , on ABC Starting NATHAN FILLION!! omg FAV SHOW! good writing, witty, interesting, REAL PLOTS, bestest character development. and you should watch it and its about a pulp novelist/murder mystery writer who follows around a cop to get inspiration for his next novel set. but things develop and SERIOUSLY you should ALL watch it.

[Bumblebee4]

Wait, so he knows of your feelings for him and yet does NOTHING?! This man has no right to be twitchy or anything, for he has made no move to court you. You deserve happiness, and if this guy isn't willing to provide it for you, then you have every right to move on and search for it yourself.

BTW I have no idea what's meant by the Castle/Becket reference...

I agree with Red that if a guy knows you like him and has done nothing he has no right to get twitchy with possible competition around or lack of communication by you. Rethink if you are really in love with this guy. Do you really want to be in love with a guy who can't even give you what you want but shows subtle signs that he might want it too? Everyone has their preferences and chemistry is hard to ignore but we all deserve a man who will stand up and take care of business when it needs to be done. My 2 cents but I don't tend to be politically correct!

[pixieopower]

My thing with BOY is weird and complicated only cuz he is actually super religious, but so am I though I've only been religious for 4 years . It's almost like the first junior high relationship stages, he literally knows NOTHING about girls. But I am keeping options open and if/when he decides to man up and make a move I am so there.

[Red1263]

My thing with BOY is weird and complicated only cuz he is actually super religious, but so am I though I've only been religious for 4 years . It's almost like the first junior high relationship stages, he literally knows NOTHING about girls. But I am keeping options open and if/when he decides to man up and make a move I am so there.

Religious as in, holding your hand is a sin? Or is it not to an extreme? I remember an article about a couple who got married and had never even kissed yet, their wedding kiss was the first time they had kissed. Well, Religion shouldn't be an obstacle (unless you 2 are of different religions), if anything, that should make each other even more compatible.

[unicornassassin]

My thing with BOY is weird and complicated only cuz he is actually super religious, but so am I though I've only been religious for 4 years . It's almost like the first junior high relationship stages, he literally knows NOTHING about girls. But I am keeping options open and if/when he decides to man up and make a move I am so there.

You may want to read "He's Just Not That Into You."

I read it, and I instantly stopped wasting my time and self-respect on wishy-washy/uninterested guys. We deserve better!

[Guest Gemeaux]

I've got that book too . It's very obvious but sometimes we need to see it in writing .

I no longer wait around for a guy anymore when it's obvious that he isn't info me .

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[unicornassassin]

I've got that book too . It's very obvious but sometimes we need to see it in writing .

I know, right!? I can't believe they had to write a whole book, longer than one page(!), about it, but I just didn't get it until I read the book.

[Bumblebee4]

You may want to read "He's Just Not That Into You."

I read it, and I instantly stopped wasting my time and self-respect on wishy-washy/uninterested guys. We deserve better!

Ah yes another good book. I forgot about that one. The writing an entire book for me to have it click is how I felt with Why Men Love Bitches.

So Unicorn... how did your time at the gym go tonight? Any encounters?

[Guest Gemeaux]

I know, right!? I can't believe they had to write a whole book, longer than one page(!), about it, but I just didn't get it until I read the book.

I think it's more denial for me lol . How did the gym go ?

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[Guest Gemeaux]

I also like " how to get past your breakup " its a breakup book but also looks at past relationships ( not just romantic ) to see why you might be attracted to the same people .

[leadchipmunk]

oh he knows... he knows a lot. And we have talked about it. It's all very Castle / Becket and I'm Castle LOL. On the other hand he gets SUPER twitchy when i bring around a new guy friend, and freaks if I dont talk to him for a couple of days LOL.

I want to be a girlie girl so I can do my hair and nails and not feel like a poser. and to get more comfy wearing cute girly clothes, with ruffles and stuff. I WILL master braids! I HAVE mastered the sock bun LOL.

Honestly, that twitchiness may not be interest in you, in may be him being protective. I am very protective of my female friends, so much so that I have unknowingly gotten twitchy and tense up and whatnot when my female friends that I have no attraction towards bring a guy around. I've actually had some guys walk up to me to ask if they could ask one of the girls out.

I'd say that you need to keep your options open, he may have feelings and be too scared to do anything because of the chance of losing your friendship that he cherishes (I've been there too), but he may not have those feelings and just be protective. If he decides to change his mind, and you still want him, go for it. But do not wait for nothing. There is no worse feeling than that.

Castle/Becket ... from Castle , on ABC Starting NATHAN FILLION!! omg FAV SHOW! good writing, witty, interesting, REAL PLOTS, bestest character development. and you should watch it and its about a pulp novelist/murder mystery writer who follows around a cop to get inspiration for his next novel set. but things develop and SERIOUSLY you should ALL watch it.

Sounds to me like you have the girly thing down. Haha

I also like " how to get past your breakup " its a breakup book but also looks at past relationships ( not just romantic ) to see why you might be attracted to the same people .

I think I really need that book...

Unicorn - When is the big date?

[Guest Gemeaux]

Chipmunk , it's very good . Changed my thinking a lot .

[leadchipmunk]

That's good. Hopefully it'll help cause I've been stuck over a relationship that ended either 8 to 13 months ago... Kind of a long story, but that'll be left for another time. Thanks though Gem.

[Guest Gemeaux]

That's ok . Hey , it takes a while to get over a breakup . Mines been nearly a year and I still sometimes feel sad .*hugs *

[unicornassassin]

I didn't see him

But, I did have a brainstorm. I don't want to ask him out- SO, I decided the next time I see him I'm going to give him my number and tell him kind of flirtatiously "I'd like you to have this, you can do whatever you want with it." That way he knows I like him, but he still has to ask me out, so I'm not putting myself too out there.

Genius, no?

[MintyFresh]

Try to adopt the mentality that you are a sexy beast, and that you could have your pick of men, but for some reason this one has caught your eye.

I love this!!! Thank you for my new mantra.

The phone number thing sounds clever & I would probably try it like that! Good luck!!! I can't wait to find out how it goes.

[BadWolf]

I didn't see him

But, I did have a brainstorm. I don't want to ask him out- SO, I decided the next time I see him I'm going to give him my number and tell him kind of flirtatiously "I'd like you to have this, you can do whatever you want with it." That way he knows I like him, but he still has to ask me out, so I'm not putting myself too out there.

Genius, no?

Ah, the ole 'putting the ball in his court' trick!

[Crizomaticus]

I didn't see him

But, I did have a brainstorm. I don't want to ask him out- SO, I decided the next time I see him I'm going to give him my number and tell him kind of flirtatiously "I'd like you to have this, you can do whatever you want with it." That way he knows I like him, but he still has to ask me out, so I'm not putting myself too out there.

Genius, no?

That's really all a girl has to do, guys are easy. Give him your number, he'll either call you or he won't.

If you really like the guy or he's shy, ask him out, dudes like it. We never get asked out.

[Maggie May]

I was the same way with my husband - we met at the gym. He was pretty shy and kind of awkward at first. It took FOREVER to get him to ask me out. But it got to the point where we'd just chat in class about our weekend, etc... and on Thursdays I'd always say, "so what are you doing this weekend?" When he said not much, and asked me what I was doing, I'd always say "oh nothing really... don't have any plans!" and wait for a response. (I could tell he was kind of interested, so I was trying to give him the in.) Eventually we went out as a group to watch an MMA fight, and we ended up going out afterwards just the two of us.

I will say, it took him about 6 months of "friendly" hanging out before he even kissed me.

I guess what I'm saying is.. if you think he's into you, give him an open opportunity to ask you out. Which I think you kind of are, "oh hey, here's my number" type of thing.

[unicornassassin]

That's really all a girl has to do, guys are easy. Give him your number, he'll either call you or he won't.

If you really like the guy or he's shy, ask him out, dudes like it. We never get asked out.

I'm trying to think of the exact reasons why I don't want to ask him out, and I think it's because I've never been asked out. I'm thinking surely somewhere, sometime I've been asked out, but I don't think so.

I've been inappopriately propositioned, yelled at from across the street, invited to 'hang out,' and other such stuff, but no dude (that I haven't already made out) with has ever asked me on a date.