Missy Posted June 18, 2012 Report Share Posted June 18, 2012 :dispirited:Feeling uninspired by the lack of support at home.. Sometimes i let it get the best of me and just give up on my fitness goals. My husband laughs at me and says " I give u two weeks till u quit" I dont want to give up... HELP [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]I am what I am...- Popeye Link to comment
joeyb Posted June 18, 2012 Report Share Posted June 18, 2012 Subconsciously, he thinks it's in his best interest because then he doesn't have to feel bad about himself when you've accomplished your goals and he hasn't done anything. Get past 2 weeks and then throw it back in his face. Every time that you have a w00t, make sure he knows it. Maybe, eventually, you'll convert him and you'll be able to give him the support he needs when things aren't going his way. Marsupial Assassin - LVL 3STR 10 || DEX 3 || STA 5 || CON 8 || WIS 11 || CHA 7Fitocracy || MyFitnessPal Link to comment
Haikoo Posted June 18, 2012 Report Share Posted June 18, 2012 All the more reason to prove him wrong! Joey's right, it's his own insecurities making him say that. You can do it, we believe in you! STR 7.2 | DEX 3.5 | STA 5.8 | CON 8.4 | WIS 5.55 | CHA 5.5 Most Recent Challenge Link to comment
Wicked Pixie Posted June 18, 2012 Report Share Posted June 18, 2012 You have US! We will support you and motivate you and encourage you, and kick your ass when needed.I disagree with rubbing it in your husband's face. That could backfire in an epic bad way!Do your thing girl, and do it well, and ignore his negativity. He may come around eventually and be supportive. Link to comment
cline Posted June 18, 2012 Report Share Posted June 18, 2012 Good advice here. I struggle with a lack of support from my husband too (you can see it on my blog). I have a new rule: I don't talk about any workout stuff with him. At all. He's a negative nancy and is really threatened. So that's the rule. I'll talk his stuff w me but he can't talk my stuff with me. I did ask point blank: why can't you support me? It's led to some interesting discussions (not fights). You won't give up. You can't give up - you love it! Just find someone else to share the joy with. Start with the folks who posted above. They are good folks. I AM going the distance 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood. Link to comment
andyTHFC Posted June 18, 2012 Report Share Posted June 18, 2012 Going at it alone sucks, I can definitely relate to that. But like cline says, you have look for support in other places, and although I've only been here a short while, this seems like a great place to get that support. Hang in there, Missy. Link to comment
joeyb Posted June 18, 2012 Report Share Posted June 18, 2012 You have US! We will support you and motivate you and encourage you, and kick your ass when needed.I disagree with rubbing it in your husband's face. That could backfire in an epic bad way!Do your thing girl, and do it well, and ignore his negativity. He may come around eventually and be supportive.I suppose "throw it back in his face" was a bad way to put what I really meant. I was just saying that when she makes it two weeks and (if) he's still being unsupportive about it, just say "Well, you said I wouldn't last 2 weeks and here I am. I guess we'll have to see who's right." More of a rebuttal, I suppose. Marsupial Assassin - LVL 3STR 10 || DEX 3 || STA 5 || CON 8 || WIS 11 || CHA 7Fitocracy || MyFitnessPal Link to comment
Rebecca_Ann Posted June 18, 2012 Report Share Posted June 18, 2012 I know what you mean! It makes all the difference in the world to have a supportive spouse... mine, however, is not the greatest at this. I went about 20 days without fried foods sweets and other yucky foods! I was so proud until he said he wanted me to bake him some cookies... I lost it. Cookies are my weakness (not to toot my own horn), but MY homemade cookies.. they are amazing! I ate about 4 cookies a day for the next week... they are not small. Ever since I have had a hard time eating right and giving up nasty foods. He always wants to reward me with bad food. Shoot I always want to reward me with bad foods. It's so hard to do it on my own, but I know when I do it makes him want to get involved... I just need to get that far. Link to comment
Missy Posted June 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2012 Thanks everyone.. I think hes just bothered that im not working out and dieting the way he outlined... He works out daily is on two soccer teams so he stays lean, he also didnt have 4 kids so he doesnt get that what works for his body isnt going to have the same effect on mine and it frustrates the hell out of me... Ive lost six pounds in a week and a half doing what im doing and am damn proud of it... Just wish he was too [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]I am what I am...- Popeye Link to comment
cline Posted June 19, 2012 Report Share Posted June 19, 2012 He will be. This is great - research amazing soccer chicks and how many are awesome moms. They do more than just play soccer. He will get it. There was even an article in nytimes recently about beach volleyball and strength training.You go momma I AM going the distance 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood. Link to comment
tigersheart Posted June 19, 2012 Report Share Posted June 19, 2012 YOU CAN DO THIS! Hang in there As the others said, we can and will be your support....I know it is not as good as having the person you live with give you that support, but don't give up. Link to comment
Georges Posted June 19, 2012 Report Share Posted June 19, 2012 Thanks everyone.. I think hes just bothered that im not working out and dieting the way he outlined... He works out daily is on two soccer teams so he stays lean, he also didnt have 4 kids so he doesnt get that what works for his body isnt going to have the same effect on mine and it frustrates the hell out of me... Ive lost six pounds in a week and a half doing what im doing and am damn proud of it... Just wish he was tooYou would think that someone with 2 soccer teams would know how to be supportive, but sometimes it doesn't work that way. Keep in mind that he might be proud of you but just too spousally-dumb to express it well.On that note, we're proud of you, and you can always count on NerdFitness for support until he catches on that this is, for real, you're new healthy life. This used to be where my weight loss progress bar was. Maybe it will be here again when I'm ready to face the scale and work on my fat problem. NewBattleLog OldBattleLog (between challenges) Spoiler Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. -John Wooden 2013 Running Tally: I lost track in July, at 148.925 ((plus 0.5)) but I finished a Very Slow marathon in October. Then I mostly stopped. 2014 Running Tally: 134.1 miles plus 5k (as of 17 September) lost track again, but I know I had at least 147.2 plus 5k for 2014. 2015 Running Tally: 41.2 treadmilled miles & 251.93 real world miles 2016 Running Tally: 0 Link to comment
Kewilson Posted June 19, 2012 Report Share Posted June 19, 2012 As someone who, many years ago, had the same attitude, consider making it your goal to prove that person wrong. I spent almost a decade trying to get my mom to quit smoking (and improve various other habits too); usually she would last less than a day and revert back, often upset with herself (and me!). So after awhile whenever she said she was going to quit smoking, I kind of didn't believe it. I don't think I ever said it (I think I always feigned support), but deep down I wouldn't bet money on her actually quitting. Well, she hasn't smoked in years; proved me wrong. It sucks that he doesn't have a defacto positive attitude towards the changes you want to make, but just make that one more thing you're going to change. Be the kind of person that people believe will achieve her goals. Kewilson - Misfit Adventurer [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Operation Phoenix: 6-Week Challenge Thread STR: 2 (+2), DEX: 0 (+1), STA: 3 (+0), CON: 4 (+0), WIS: 5 (+0), CHA: 1 (+3) Link to comment
Rosie Posted June 20, 2012 Report Share Posted June 20, 2012 " I give u two weeks till u quit" What an awful attitude to have and a not nice thing to say! He needs to be supportive of you and be saying things like "You can do it, you're awesome!" instead! Does he also quit at things really quickly and is projecting the same attitude on to you? [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Twitter Blog Attributes: Strength (STR): 3 Dexterity (DEX): 1 Stamina (STA): 4 Constitution (CON): 2 Wisdom (WIS): 3 Charisma (CHA): 2 Link to comment
shortstuff Posted June 20, 2012 Report Share Posted June 20, 2012 As annoying as it maybe, try using it as extra motivation - just think how good you will feel when you proved him wrong STR – 24.45, DEX – 13.50, STA – 23.50, CON – 21.40, WIS – 27.65, CHA – 4.50When the sun comes up, you better start running - Thomas FriedmenEpic Quest - Current Challenge - Twitter - Goodreads - Fitbit - blog Link to comment
Missy Posted June 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2012 Im trying to stay positive and I'm sticking with it.. Everytime i work out or resist the urge to cheat on my diet i stick my tongue out at him and he has no idea i do it lol its my HAHA at him for keeping withmy plan Really glad to have your support! [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]I am what I am...- Popeye Link to comment
Ryan Sannar Posted June 20, 2012 Report Share Posted June 20, 2012 Anytime it gets hard get back on here. We're here for you. Link to comment
Fitness Padawan Posted June 20, 2012 Report Share Posted June 20, 2012 Agreed with everything already said. Use it as a fire to burn within you to get through those tough workout and tougher days. If he isn't going to be proud of you by default, MAKE him proud of you by your success. You are you're own worst enemy because you are the one making the choices of what to put in your mouth and when to work out. You go and kick ass and take some names Try not. Do or do not. There is no try - Yoda Yasashi Doragon Link to comment
Missy Posted June 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2012 Starting week two!! Im feeling off my game but pushing through anyway.. Got the I think i can attitude [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]I am what I am...- Popeye Link to comment
cline Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 YOU KNOW YOU CAN!!!!!!!!WE KNOW YOU CAN!!!!!!!Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I AM going the distance 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood. Link to comment
engineman312 Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 i have found that sometimes our closest friends and family don't want to see us raise our hopes and then fail. seeing us fall short of our own expectations is hard for them too. so they don't encourage us because of that. and hell, how many of us have failed at something, only to turn around and yell at someone that encouraged us?? i know i have, far too many times.when i started to take responsibility for my own successes and failures, i stopped having to lean on others for support. i'm not saying you can't brag and ask for a little support, but don't make it your crutch. [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Urban Scout STR - 6 DEX - 6 STA - 11 CON - 2 WIS - 4 CHA - 6 My Epic Quest: http://tinyurl.com/7ey2ylw Most Recent Mission: Visit Chichen Itza (Completed 11/18/12) I am currently: Level 3 (0% to Level 4) Link to comment
Missy Posted June 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 I dont consider having my husbands support a crutch but when he backs me it gives me a better feeling that no matter what hes there and personally i need that especially for this because hes my best friend as well as my husband. I support him and the decisions he makes in life and with his health and body, its not a bad thing to want the same thing for myself. And should i meet my goal or fail its on me and no one else but its nice to have a cheering section for the ups and downs of my personal journey.. [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]I am what I am...- Popeye Link to comment
aka.artemis Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Starting week two!! Im feeling off my game but pushing through anyway.. Got the I think i can attitudeIt's one step at a time, one day at a time. You're doing great! Keep up the good work, it pays off! Alien Adventurer STR: 5 | DEX: 1 | STA: 5 | CON: 4 | WIS: 6 | CHA: 5 aka.artemis encounters a new challenge... There is more to life than increasing its speed. -- Mohandas K. Gandhi Link to comment
Lizifer Posted June 24, 2012 Report Share Posted June 24, 2012 My Manflesh was originally pretty skeptical - I have not had the best track record with taking good care of myself, and have given up before. Luckily, I found a girlfriend in my building at work that was willing to be part of my attack team, and she helps keep me accountable in going to class. When I got in the habit of that, I had another buddy that would go with me for cardio and helped me build a lifting plan. Between the two of them - I really feel supported. I'm now about six months in, and while he still sometimes has a tough time understanding that this is ME doing all of this, he also has become supportive - and has agreed to train with me to do a Spartan Race in the spring!Find other support - he might come around when he sees you stick with it! the power of [geekhood] compels me: "Oh, I'm gonna hit you so hard, your children will be born bruised!" -- Tank Girl "Do you know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed. You can look it up later." -- Zoe Washburn "No, people are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to anymore of them." -- Michel Gerard "A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun!" -- Willow Rosenberg Link to comment
Wildcat Posted June 25, 2012 Report Share Posted June 25, 2012 I feel that way when I let my friends know I'm trying to lose weight and the first things they break out are the sodas, chips, pizzas, fried stuff when we hang out. I keep coming on here to find support, answers and inspiration! Keep working, Missy, it will pay off. May the odds be ever in your favor! I have a blog. It can be found here: http://wildcatspeaks.blogspot.com. I put my training up here, accomplishments, how many times I've vacuumed this week, etc. Link to comment
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