GRRRRRR

[Missy]

:dispirited:Feeling uninspired by the lack of support at home.. Sometimes i let it get the best of me and just give up on my fitness goals. My husband laughs at me and says " I give u two weeks till u quit" I dont want to give up... HELP

[joeyb]

Subconsciously, he thinks it's in his best interest because then he doesn't have to feel bad about himself when you've accomplished your goals and he hasn't done anything. Get past 2 weeks and then throw it back in his face. Every time that you have a w00t, make sure he knows it. Maybe, eventually, you'll convert him and you'll be able to give him the support he needs when things aren't going his way.

[Haikoo]

All the more reason to prove him wrong! Joey's right, it's his own insecurities making him say that. You can do it, we believe in you!

[Wicked Pixie]

You have US! We will support you and motivate you and encourage you, and kick your ass when needed.

I disagree with rubbing it in your husband's face. That could backfire in an epic bad way!

Do your thing girl, and do it well, and ignore his negativity. He may come around eventually and be supportive.

[cline]

Good advice here. I struggle with a lack of support from my husband too (you can see it on my blog). I have a new rule: I don't talk about any workout stuff with him. At all. He's a negative nancy and is really threatened. So that's the rule. I'll talk his stuff w me but he can't talk my stuff with me.

I did ask point blank: why can't you support me? It's led to some interesting discussions (not fights).

You won't give up. You can't give up - you love it! Just find someone else to share the joy with. Start with the folks who posted above. They are good folks.

[andyTHFC]

Going at it alone sucks, I can definitely relate to that. But like cline says, you have look for support in other places, and although I've only been here a short while, this seems like a great place to get that support. Hang in there, Missy.

[joeyb]

You have US! We will support you and motivate you and encourage you, and kick your ass when needed.

I disagree with rubbing it in your husband's face. That could backfire in an epic bad way!

Do your thing girl, and do it well, and ignore his negativity. He may come around eventually and be supportive.

I suppose "throw it back in his face" was a bad way to put what I really meant. I was just saying that when she makes it two weeks and (if) he's still being unsupportive about it, just say "Well, you said I wouldn't last 2 weeks and here I am. I guess we'll have to see who's right." More of a rebuttal, I suppose.

[Rebecca_Ann]

I know what you mean! It makes all the difference in the world to have a supportive spouse... mine, however, is not the greatest at this. I went about 20 days without fried foods sweets and other yucky foods! I was so proud until he said he wanted me to bake him some cookies... I lost it. Cookies are my weakness (not to toot my own horn), but MY homemade cookies.. they are amazing! I ate about 4 cookies a day for the next week... they are not small. Ever since I have had a hard time eating right and giving up nasty foods. He always wants to reward me with bad food. Shoot I always want to reward me with bad foods. It's so hard to do it on my own, but I know when I do it makes him want to get involved... I just need to get that far.

[Missy]

Thanks everyone.. I think hes just bothered that im not working out and dieting the way he outlined... He works out daily is on two soccer teams so he stays lean, he also didnt have 4 kids so he doesnt get that what works for his body isnt going to have the same effect on mine and it frustrates the hell out of me... Ive lost six pounds in a week and a half doing what im doing and am damn proud of it... Just wish he was too

[cline]

He will be. This is great - research amazing soccer chicks and how many are awesome moms. They do more than just play soccer. He will get it. There was even an article in nytimes recently about beach volleyball and strength training.

You go momma

[tigersheart]

YOU CAN DO THIS! Hang in there

As the others said, we can and will be your support....I know it is not as good as having the person you live with give you that support, but don't give up.

[Georges]

Thanks everyone.. I think hes just bothered that im not working out and dieting the way he outlined... He works out daily is on two soccer teams so he stays lean, he also didnt have 4 kids so he doesnt get that what works for his body isnt going to have the same effect on mine and it frustrates the hell out of me... Ive lost six pounds in a week and a half doing what im doing and am damn proud of it... Just wish he was too

You would think that someone with 2 soccer teams would know how to be supportive, but sometimes it doesn't work that way. Keep in mind that he might be proud of you but just too spousally-dumb to express it well.

On that note, we're proud of you, and you can always count on NerdFitness for support until he catches on that this is, for real, you're new healthy life.

[Kewilson]

As someone who, many years ago, had the same attitude, consider making it your goal to prove that person wrong. I spent almost a decade trying to get my mom to quit smoking (and improve various other habits too); usually she would last less than a day and revert back, often upset with herself (and me!). So after awhile whenever she said she was going to quit smoking, I kind of didn't believe it. I don't think I ever said it (I think I always feigned support), but deep down I wouldn't bet money on her actually quitting. Well, she hasn't smoked in years; proved me wrong.

It sucks that he doesn't have a defacto positive attitude towards the changes you want to make, but just make that one more thing you're going to change. Be the kind of person that people believe will achieve her goals.

[Rosie]

" I give u two weeks till u quit"

What an awful attitude to have and a not nice thing to say! He needs to be supportive of you and be saying things like "You can do it, you're awesome!" instead! Does he also quit at things really quickly and is projecting the same attitude on to you?

[shortstuff]

As annoying as it maybe, try using it as extra motivation - just think how good you will feel when you proved him wrong

[Missy]

Im trying to stay positive and I'm sticking with it.. Everytime i work out or resist the urge to cheat on my diet i stick my tongue out at him and he has no idea i do it lol its my HAHA at him for keeping withmy plan Really glad to have your support!

[Ryan Sannar]

Anytime it gets hard get back on here. We're here for you.

[Fitness Padawan]

Agreed with everything already said. Use it as a fire to burn within you to get through those tough workout and tougher days. If he isn't going to be proud of you by default, MAKE him proud of you by your success. You are you're own worst enemy because you are the one making the choices of what to put in your mouth and when to work out. You go and kick ass and take some names

[Missy]

Starting week two!! Im feeling off my game but pushing through anyway.. Got the I think i can attitude

[cline]

YOU KNOW YOU CAN!!!!!!!!

WE KNOW YOU CAN!!!!!!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[engineman312]

i have found that sometimes our closest friends and family don't want to see us raise our hopes and then fail. seeing us fall short of our own expectations is hard for them too. so they don't encourage us because of that. and hell, how many of us have failed at something, only to turn around and yell at someone that encouraged us?? i know i have, far too many times.

when i started to take responsibility for my own successes and failures, i stopped having to lean on others for support. i'm not saying you can't brag and ask for a little support, but don't make it your crutch.

[Missy]

I dont consider having my husbands support a crutch but when he backs me it gives me a better feeling that no matter what hes there and personally i need that especially for this because hes my best friend as well as my husband. I support him and the decisions he makes in life and with his health and body, its not a bad thing to want the same thing for myself. And should i meet my goal or fail its on me and no one else but its nice to have a cheering section for the ups and downs of my personal journey..

[aka.artemis]

Starting week two!! Im feeling off my game but pushing through anyway.. Got the I think i can attitude

It's one step at a time, one day at a time. You're doing great! Keep up the good work, it pays off!

[Lizifer]

My Manflesh was originally pretty skeptical - I have not had the best track record with taking good care of myself, and have given up before.

Luckily, I found a girlfriend in my building at work that was willing to be part of my attack team, and she helps keep me accountable in going to class. When I got in the habit of that, I had another buddy that would go with me for cardio and helped me build a lifting plan. Between the two of them - I really feel supported. I'm now about six months in, and while he still sometimes has a tough time understanding that this is ME doing all of this, he also has become supportive - and has agreed to train with me to do a Spartan Race in the spring!

Find other support - he might come around when he sees you stick with it!

[Wildcat]

I feel that way when I let my friends know I'm trying to lose weight and the first things they break out are the sodas, chips, pizzas, fried stuff when we hang out. I keep coming on here to find support, answers and inspiration! Keep working, Missy, it will pay off.