Rosie Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 I love the kid friendly ones.What do you call a fish with no eyes,A FshHow do you tell which end of a worm is its head?Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs. [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Twitter Blog Attributes: Strength (STR): 3 Dexterity (DEX): 1 Stamina (STA): 4 Constitution (CON): 2 Wisdom (WIS): 3 Charisma (CHA): 2 Link to comment
Phoenix Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 What's long, hard, has hair at one end ? Hint: all the good girls use it.toothbrush [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/34713-phoenix/?p=640205Nuggets of wisdome from Doggcrapp Dante Trudel:http://www.intensemuscle.com/showthread.php?t=8271http://www.intensemuscle.com/showthread.php?t=9658 Link to comment
ICB Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 Two muffins are sitting in a hot oven. One turns to the other and says "I can't believe how hot it is in here."The other one replies, "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!"For some reason this joke was incredibly popular at my high school. Link to comment
ICB Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 Two cows are standing in a field. One turns to the other and says, "Have you heard about this mad cow disease? Pretty scary, eh?"The second one replies, "I wouldn't know, I'm a squirrel." Link to comment
Rosie Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 Two snowman are standing in a field. One says to the other "Can you smell carrots?"Why don't cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny. [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Twitter Blog Attributes: Strength (STR): 3 Dexterity (DEX): 1 Stamina (STA): 4 Constitution (CON): 2 Wisdom (WIS): 3 Charisma (CHA): 2 Link to comment
161803398874989 Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 Two penguins are sitting on a rock.One of them jumps off and the other's name is Hank. Quare? Quod vita mea non tua est. You can call me Phi, Numbers, Sixteen or just plain 161803398874989. Link to comment
animalcrackaz Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 Two cows are standing in a field. One turns to the other and says, "Have you heard about this mad cow disease? Pretty scary, eh?"The second one replies, "I wouldn't know, I'm a squirrel."Ha - ICB, my brother used to love that joke, but when he told it, the second cow was a penguin. We always tease him about it, because the first time he told it, the joke crashed and burned - but he kept telling it to everyone, and laughing at himself every time he told it. Link to comment
animalcrackaz Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 Bert and Ernie are walking down Sesame Street and Bert asks Ernie,"Hey Ernie, you want to get some ice cream?"Ernie responds, "Sure Bert!"*crickets* Link to comment
ICB Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 Bert and Ernie are walking down Sesame Street and Bert asks Ernie,"Hey Ernie, you want to get some ice cream?"Ernie responds, "Sure Bert!"*crickets*Groooooan Link to comment
progress126 Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 How does Moses make tea?Hebrews it. [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] "Yeah, I got this!" -andygates Link to comment
SusieBlu Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? DamWhat did the Dam say back? Dumb bass Try everything once. If it kills you don't do it again.Paleo- So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Link to comment
leadchipmunk Posted June 27, 2012 Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 What's the same between elephants and plums?The color, well, except the plum.What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?"Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"What did Tarzan saw when he saw a herd of elephants wearing sunglasses in the distance?Nothing, he didn't recognize them.What did Tarzan say when he say a herd of giraffes in the distance?"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants in the distance?"Look! A herd of plums in the distance!" Jane was color blind. Level 1 Woodwose STR 5 | DEX 2 | STA 1 | CON 2 | WIS 5 | CHA 4 WAR 0 | RNG 0 | SCT 0 | ASN 0 | MON 0 | DRU 0 | ADV 1 Current Challenge: Specialization is for Insects Previous Chapters: 1 Link to comment
azsf Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 possible NSFW, definitely rude, but easily the best joke of all time. [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] AZSF - lvl 4 assassin STR - 9 | DEX - 12 | STA - 10.5 | CON - 7 | WIS - 8.5 | CHA - 1 Link to comment
MrHyde Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 possible NSFW, definitely rude, but easily the best joke of all time. Now that's some seriously funny shit. I'm so gonna use that one. Link to comment
Novius Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 Two muffins are sitting in a hot oven. One turns to the other and says "I can't believe how hot it is in here."The other one replies, "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!"For some reason this joke was incredibly popular at my high school.My german teacher told this joke so many times at high school. I cracked up every single time and still tell it to this day. 6 week challenge (Oct 24 - Dec5) Link to comment
MrHyde Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 My german teacher told this joke so many times at high school. I cracked up every single time and still tell it to this day.Over here it was 2 tomatoes in the fridge :-). Link to comment
Maj. Bloodnok Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 Certifiably the funniest joke in the world:Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" "If you get into trouble, you can always eat something, blow something up, or throw penguins." - Jim Henson Link to comment
Maj. Bloodnok Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 Knock knock.Who's there?Knock knock.Who's there?Knock knock.Who's there?Knock knock.Who's there?Knock knock.Who's there?Knock knock.Who's there?Philip Glass. "If you get into trouble, you can always eat something, blow something up, or throw penguins." - Jim Henson Link to comment
Mike Pants Posted June 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2012 Relevant to our interests:[ATTACH=CONFIG]4269[/ATTACH] Link to comment
Rosie Posted June 29, 2012 Report Share Posted June 29, 2012 Relevant to our interests:[ATTACH=CONFIG]4269[/ATTACH]Reminded me of this [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Twitter Blog Attributes: Strength (STR): 3 Dexterity (DEX): 1 Stamina (STA): 4 Constitution (CON): 2 Wisdom (WIS): 3 Charisma (CHA): 2 Link to comment
leadchipmunk Posted June 29, 2012 Report Share Posted June 29, 2012 Reminded me of thisRIP Mitch Hedberg Level 1 Woodwose STR 5 | DEX 2 | STA 1 | CON 2 | WIS 5 | CHA 4 WAR 0 | RNG 0 | SCT 0 | ASN 0 | MON 0 | DRU 0 | ADV 1 Current Challenge: Specialization is for Insects Previous Chapters: 1 Link to comment
The Tin Man Posted July 2, 2012 Report Share Posted July 2, 2012 I've told this joke dozens of times, and it always wins. I therefore nominate it for the Best Joke in the World:I went to the doctor the other day to get a physical. He told me I needed to stop masturbating. I asked him why, and he said, "Because I'm trying to give you a physical."Rebuttal?http://5secondfilms.com/watch/self-checkup The Tin Man: Cyborg Ranger Tin Man's Out of Date Epic Quest I am what I do. Link to comment
Hulk Smash Posted July 3, 2012 Report Share Posted July 3, 2012 Did you hear the one about the man who came home wearing glass pants? His wife said to him, "I used to think you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts." Link to comment
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