Facebook - A Social Requirement?

[DylanAilDon]

Hey all,

I got an e-mail from my coach recently about upcoming events, and he mentioned that he had forgotten that I don't have Facebook, so he had to e-mail it to me. This got me thinking about other times where my lack of a Facebook has impacted me: the fact that some of my co-workers would only post requests to get shifts covered there, social events that were only mentioned on Facebook, etc...

So I've begun to feel that Facebook has become a necessity to have a functioning social life...

It doesn't help that one of my major goals at the moment is to improve my social life and build close friendships rather than just gain acquaintances who don't speak to you outside of certain contexts. So I can't help but wonder whether or not the fact that I have a Facebook would have any influence on whether or not somebody is my "friend".

I also can't help but think of all the things that turn me off from the idea: the changing definition of "friend", the fact that people I don't know/don't like/haven't spoken to in years/aren't my friends will try to add me or creep my page, the unexpected consequences that can come from posting your life online, the changing face of social interaction...

I don't know whether or not I should just make a Facebook to deal with being out of the loop, or hope for friends who will care enough to make the effort...

What do you all think about the whole Facebook thing? I'd like to hear some other perspectives.

[Rilo]

I don't have facebook either. I had it during high school. When I got rid of facebook and we all left school only one person wanted to keep in contact with me - he's a great friend and I think not having facebook showed me who actually are life long friends.

It can be good to keep in contact with people. I've moved a lot through my life and it was nice to see what people I knew when I was 13 were up to now and how different they looked. But there was no want to speak with them.

So I guess facebook isn't my thing. Too intrusive, boring, and gives a false sense of friends. Your friends will find a way to keep in contact no matter what. When we both were at different colleges we even wrote letters! None of this "left a comment on your wall" rubbish. Facebook is just a convinient way to see what distant acquaintances are up to, but part of me does sometimes wonder about getting it cos it's easier when family and friends are sharing photos and things like that. But the thought of all the old faces trying to barge onto my friends list is annoying.

[YuYu2]

I don't have facebook either. I had it during high school. When I got rid of facebook and we all left school only one person wanted to keep in contact with me - he's a great friend and I think not having facebook showed me who actually are life long friends.

It can be good to keep in contact with people. I've moved a lot through my life and it was nice to see what people I knew when I was 13 were up to now and how different they looked. But there was no want to speak with them.

So I guess facebook isn't my thing. Too intrusive, boring, and gives a false sense of friends. Your friends will find a way to keep in contact no matter what. When we both were at different colleges we even wrote letters! None of this "left a comment on your wall" rubbish. Facebook is just a convinient way to see what distant acquaintances are up to, but part of me does sometimes wonder about getting it cos it's easier when family and friends are sharing photos and things like that. But the thought of all the old faces trying to barge onto my friends list is annoying.

Agreed Rilo. I think having some form of social media may be necessary for SOME functions. I have one for a business, and I only post business related info there. No personal stuff. That Facebook is also not linked to my personal email so I won't get populated with non-business related "friends." People I want to keep in touch with I do; otherwise Facebook is a voyeuristic time suck in most cases. I'd rather Skype you if you live far away, and I want to know how you are doing.

I signed up for a Linkedin account once because everybody was saying how it was a great way to make professional contacts, and I was pretty pissed when a few people I had dated popped up in my projected network simply because they allowed Linkedin to use their personal email contacts.I no longer use my Linkedin account either.

OP if you feel like you have to have one but don't want too much of the personal stuff posted and pseudo cyber intimacy, set up a different email and a new Facebook account just devoted to your role on the team and sports stuff. You can also get a twitter if your coach tweets. You can choose to follow who you want, when you want. If you are not tweeting stupid stuff, it won't matter who is following you. I find personal twitters to be the most ego-centric, boring bullshit ever. However, it can be great for keeping in touch in the same way text messages can (short and to the point).

[Avistew]

I've had a facebook page for years now. Tons of people have tried to add me: people from school who never bothered to stay in touch, friends of friends, coworkers of friends, you name it.

I avoid adding people I wouldn't actually call my friend, and every few months I go through my friend list and just remove people I feel don't belong there.

As for people creeping on your profile, you can always decide only to fill information you're fine with anyone knowing (there are also privacy settings, but they change a lot and it can be tricky to keep up to date with them).

Ultimately, if you don't want a Facebook page, you don't need one. But if it's for practical reasons like being contacted, I fail to see how having too many "friends" in your list is going to affect you: presumably you'll only check facebook for specific things and not spend ages posting your status or pictures or anything you don't want people to see.

I also know people who have different accounts for their private and professional life, it looks like in your case you'd be fine with just a professional account.

[Maleficarum]

Facebook has become as ubiquitous as smart phones. I find them both distasteful. I purged my "friends" list of about 100 people who had added me over the years. People i have never spoken to, but only knew in passing or because we attended the same high school or grade school! Really. I had no interest in their lives. I figured that unless they were family, if i have not actually spoken to this person face-to-face in the past 12 months there was zero reason to keep them around, unless of course they were on an exploratory mission to Mars or something.

Along with this, is the changing social conventions of our times. I HATE talking to someone and in the middle of the conversation they start texting or even holding their phone. I may be a Luddite, but it just pisses me off. What ever happened to eye contact? Maybe i am just boring, but if that is the case, why are they talking to me in the first place? I have made it a personal habit to put my phone away when I am home. My wife is constantly checking her phone. She finally turned off her ringer so that i don't get my hackles up every time she get's a text, but it still bugs me every time she picks the damn thing up.

[illuminatus]

If you don't want a facebook, don't get one. I have one but don't really like it, use it primarily to speak real time with some friends in India and Germany, that's pretty much it. We've lost a lot of the direct contact that we used to. That's why fridays and saturdays, I go out and game with or visit friends.

[EmCee]

I don't have Facebook. My social life has suffered significantly... but this is how I feel about that: If they can't take the time to call me or text me to see if I want to join them, then does it really matter that I didn't get invited? No.

[leadchipmunk]

I do have a FaceBook, but I pretty much only use it to converse with the people that I don't have the urge to call or text. I've got a total of 23 "friends" (I don't like the change of definition for friends that this has caused, why not call them acquaintances or stalks?) on there and am in need of a cleaning up. I don't see it as a requirement for life, just that it means people need to work a little harder to contact you. Instead of using the website they're always on, pick up a phone, type 7 numbers and talk.

Only the people on my friends list can see anything other than my name and picture, and I even keep most of the other information private. If they know me, they most likely know my number, etc. And I do not respond to invites on there. If you want me to go to something, ask me. Do not just click my name when you invite the rest of your 250 other friends.

[Phoenix]

To everyone his own I guess. Internet communication circles including Facebook form a major part of my life. I get to connect with like minded people (including muscle heads and nerds!) and simply feel connected to the world.

Hell! I 1st found about NF when a parkour pal put up a link showings Staci's transformation since he knew I am interested in powerlifting.