Osu

[Kishi]

12 minutes ago, Urgan said:

Hypothyroidism would not help anything in the body composition department, no. Knowing what statins can do to your brain from from reading and from observing my dad (statins go after cholesterol anywhere and everywhere, blood-brain barrier be damned, and your brain is 1/5th cholesterol.), I can't not comment on it. I'd suggest jumping to straight keto before a statin (and I don't even do keto myself, that should tell you something). The science isn't settled on that bit about lifestyle not being able modulate LDL, which FWIW is a symptom and not the disease since HDL and LDL both shuttle badly needed cholesterol into cells. If you've got LDL hanging out in the bloodstream not being able to be absorbed completely, there's several reasons this could be and those reasons tie back to gluten/grains. I'm not trying to give you medical advice per say, just challenging the idea that there is literally nothing that can be researched and/or tried. Your call 100%.

 

Oh yeah, no, no, we're not shooting to statin therapy immediately. When my doc and I were discussing the labs, we agreed that there were lots of limitations at play given that I'd been modifying my diet and such for the past 6 months and that a lot of what we were seeing wasn't really valid anymore. That's why we're running more tests. My doc's got a hunch that the thyroid stuff is affecting my body's ability to regulate cholesterol, and he was quite frank that statins weren't an ideal choice. When we talked about it, his exact words were, "You might just be one of the rare people that can actually benefit from a statin." So I don't think he's stoked about it either. At the same time, he's kind of freaked, because normal ranges for the lipoprotein in question are 0-30 and I'm sitting at 240 as of 6 months ago.

 

So, right now, order of operations seems to be "Find out where thyroid messed up" -> "Fix that" -> "Check blood numbers" -> "???" I'm not afraid to go keto except for the fact that my body seems to want to store cholesterol, and exacerbating that symptom scares me a lot right now. OTOH, if that's all tied to hypothyroidism and we can get that crap straightened out, and then a month later we see a drop in the right numbers, then it probably won't be necessary to hop on that kind of therapy. So, it's all just up in the air right now.

[Urgan]

3 minutes ago, Kishi said:

 

Oh yeah, no, no, we're not shooting to statin therapy immediately. When my doc and I were discussing the labs, we agreed that there were lots of limitations at play given that I'd been modifying my diet and such for the past 6 months and that a lot of what we were seeing wasn't really valid anymore. That's why we're running more tests. My doc's got a hunch that the thyroid stuff is affecting my body's ability to regulate cholesterol, and he was quite frank that statins weren't an ideal choice. When we talked about it, his exact words were, "You might just be one of the rare people that can actually benefit from a statin." So I don't think he's stoked about it either. At the same time, he's kind of freaked, because normal ranges for the lipoprotein in question are 0-30 and I'm sitting at 240 as of 6 months ago.

 

So, right now, order of operations seems to be "Find out where thyroid messed up" -> "Fix that" -> "Check blood numbers" -> "???" I'm not afraid to go keto except for the fact that my body seems to want to store cholesterol, and exacerbating that symptom scares me a lot right now. OTOH, if that's all tied to hypothyroidism and we can get that crap straightened out, and then a month later we see a drop in the right numbers, then it probably won't be necessary to hop on that kind of therapy. So, it's all just up in the air right now.

 

Okay, that's good it sounded really scary for a minute there. Doctors tend to want to get everybody and their baby on statins based on criteria that borderline made up and it's just now getting around that maybe you don't have to sign the cross at the mere sight of an LDL protein. I haven't encountered how thyroid dysfunction factors into diet-lifestyle realm, but apparently later on in the book I'm currently chewing there is mention of it. I would have a vested interest in learning more about such, myself, at that. Every so often my internal thermostat forgets I am a warmblooded animal. 

[Kishi]

32 minutes ago, Urgan said:

Okay, that's good it sounded really scary for a minute there. Doctors tend to want to get everybody and their baby on statins based on criteria that borderline made up and it's just now getting around that maybe you don't have to sign the cross at the mere sight of an LDL protein. I haven't encountered how thyroid dysfunction factors into diet-lifestyle realm, but apparently later on in the book I'm currently chewing there is mention of it. I would have a vested interest in learning more about such, myself, at that. Every so often my internal thermostat forgets I am a warmblooded animal. 

 

Exactly. I like this doctor very much. He does Crossfit and he's into Functional Medicine, which is basically trying to understand health as an emergent phenomenon of a bunch of factors. So while he's quick to offer meds, he's not pushy about it.

[Kishi]

Okay, Friday was my last update here, so now it's time to catch it up. Okay then.

 

Friday stab class happened. Our students out there are catching on a little bit. It's shaken out to the typical pattern, where we start out with a bunch of people and then only one or two show up, and then only one. But she's doing well. She's graduated to shortblade work as opposed to the long, and that's when you learn in this style to flow and really make it your own. So I'm excited for her. Also for me, because it means I get to do interesting things.

 

Legwork followed at the gym. Got there just in the nick of time and managed to do squat work and skip rope. I've got to the point where I can skip, then keep the rope going while I catch my breath. I keep breathing through my nose the entire time, and I'm doing that longer, up to 4:12. I'd like to get to fifteen minutes total, and I'm not sure if that means trying to get more skips in, or just getting to the point where I've kept breathing through my nose for the entire 15 minutes. I'm kind of leaning that way first - it's a strain on the cardiovascular system just as is - but it feels weird to just focus on breathing properly, even if I'm getting benefit from it. Of course, it's both breathing and rhythm, so it's not nothing.

 

Saturday was Kali and core work. Kali focused that day more on empty-handed stuff, which in my opinion isn't where it shines. I'll grant Manong, he's got some sneaky footwork, and that can transfer to some of the stuff that we do in Shotokan. But most of what he does assumes he's got a knife in hand; if it's done empty-handed I can give him enough trouble with the stuff I've got already that I don't think it's worth internalizing. He's also insistent on some bad footwork, which might work situationally but shouldn't be pursued as a habit. OTOH, it's a lot of good mindset stuff, specifically about getting people to think you're doing one thing and then doing something else based on the look you've given them.

 

Core work followed. I managed a proper warm up this time and I came on really strong as a result, managing some higher progressions than last time and just going for broke. It caught up in the end, but I consider the whole thing a net positive.

 

Sunday was upper body work where I did good again and managed to progress some things faster than I thought I would. Solidly done, I think. Boxing was that afternoon; coach there wanted to get feisty so he had us spar around obstacles. It's exactly what it sounds like - we had our normal space and he threw down cones and skipping ropes and obstacles and had us fight our way around. It's a krav/street/RBSD thing apparently, and not as dangerous as it sounds but definitely tricky and a fun way to shake things up. Really got the chance to loosen up my shoulders and feel what it's like when you cut loose and hit something. It's a good feeling.

 

That night, I managed 11,111 words for Veteran's Day, because it's my way of showing respect. I realized that I like the way I've planned this out, but also that I could totally tighten this up, so I spent Monday going over things with a comb and codifying the magic system as I'd discovered it and so on and so forth. Kind of glad for work today, since I take lunch as a planning period, so tonight I can focus on the words.

 

Anyway, kettlebells happening for sure. Karate maybe depending on when I get out of work.

[Urgan]

8 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Sunday was upper body work where I did good again and managed to progress some things faster than I thought I would. Solidly done, I think. Boxing was that afternoon; coach there wanted to get feisty so he had us spar around obstacles. It's exactly what it sounds like - we had our normal space and he threw down cones and skipping ropes and obstacles and had us fight our way around. It's a krav/street/RBSD thing apparently, and not as dangerous as it sounds but definitely tricky and a fun way to shake things up. Really got the chance to loosen up my shoulders and feel what it's like when you cut loose and hit something. It's a good feeling.

 

It's like randori on a crowded mat!

[Kishi]

11 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

It's like randori on a crowded mat!

 

One of those problems we've never had to deal with!

[Urgan]

9 minutes ago, Kishi said:

 

One of those problems we've never had to deal with!

 

Just imagine that cone is a human head and you're halfway there~

[Kishi]

Got out of work too late, so no Karate. Kishi is a sad boy.

 

It's really just a matter of how I've been using the time more than anything else. I sleep in, get to work late, so I get out of work late, and vicious cycle. I can stop it, and it wouldn't even take much time or effort, but... haven't, you know?

 

Realized in the planning period yesterday that my structure is divorced from a lot of other pieces that make it work better. I basically have an engine without a car. If I can build this frame, I can do something with it. Better figure it out, though, because I'm back down to quota today and the words need to start again.

 

In training news, kettlebells have progressed. I've only been hitting them once per week as I've shifted stuff around to make room for life for the past few weeks. Fortunately, I'm not getting weaker. If anything, I'm actually feeling a bit stronger, especially in my elbow. I've got my 16 back for my one-arm swings, and the plan is to move forward to putting that on the TGUs again starting next week. I've also been experimenting with a variant of the TGU where you do it basically without putting weight on the supporting wrist. So it's a kind of 'no hand' TGU which I'm studying because I want to teach it to someone who has some carpal tunnel issues that prevent her from engaging in some training. (palm pressure's a problem for her).

 

Anyway, I got to work a little earlier today, so I will hopefully get out a little earlier and this will let me train. I don't know who I'm kidding with that, but it's a hope.

[Mistr]

2 hours ago, Kishi said:

Got out of work too late, so no Karate. Kishi is a sad boy.

 

It's really just a matter of how I've been using the time more than anything else. I sleep in, get to work late, so I get out of work late, and vicious cycle. I can stop it, and it wouldn't even take much time or effort, but... haven't, you know?

 

Anyway, I got to work a little earlier today, so I will hopefully get out a little earlier and this will let me train. I don't know who I'm kidding with that, but it's a hope.

 

Oh yeah, been there, done that, more than once. Luckily for me, my work has rigid hours. I can't come in late and work late. I just get caught in the caffeine/bad sleep rat race.

 

Fixing it during the week basically takes giving up an evening to go to bed early. That is tough. It is easier to reset on a weekend. Getting the chores and prep work done early so that Sunday night is clear is not that difficult.

 

It can be enlightening to look at the little decisions you make during the day. I find that I put off doing tedious things, then have to stay late to get them done. If I was better about gritting my teeth and doing the things, my evenings would be better. YMMV

[Urgan]

4 minutes ago, Mistr said:

It can be enlightening to look at the little decisions you make during the day. I find that I put off doing tedious things, then have to stay late to get them done. If I was better about gritting my teeth and doing the things, my evenings would be better. YMMV

 

It's night and day to do tasks earlier in the day on Sunday vs putting them off into the evening on the amount of stress I carry with me to lights-out. A calmer brain gets me to sleep faster, because I am not one of those people who can close their eyes and conk out inside 5 minutes.

[Kishi]

2 hours ago, Mistr said:

 

Oh yeah, been there, done that, more than once. Luckily for me, my work has rigid hours. I can't come in late and work late. I just get caught in the caffeine/bad sleep rat race.

 

Fixing it during the week basically takes giving up an evening to go to bed early. That is tough. It is easier to reset on a weekend. Getting the chores and prep work done early so that Sunday night is clear is not that difficult.

 

It can be enlightening to look at the little decisions you make during the day. I find that I put off doing tedious things, then have to stay late to get them done. If I was better about gritting my teeth and doing the things, my evenings would be better. YMMV

 

2 hours ago, Urgan said:

 

It's night and day to do tasks earlier in the day on Sunday vs putting them off into the evening on the amount of stress I carry with me to lights-out. A calmer brain gets me to sleep faster, because I am not one of those people who can close their eyes and conk out inside 5 minutes.

 

Oh, I'm right there with you. The craziest thing is, it's just a matter of 15 minutes or so. That's how much time I've managed to save myself, and that's how narrow the difference is. With 15 extra minutes I can throw food in the IP, get changed, and get to class. Without that, though? Whew...

 

Although, hey, so, check this out. My Wednesday Night Viewing Buddy cancelled for work stuff. So the night is free. Training it is. Can't do judo on account of not having the uniform and stuff with me, but can do legwork and get back to do some writing. Which needs to happen anyway. Groovy!

[Kishi]

Friday! Woooo

 

Okay, so, let's settle down and talk it out.

 

Leg day happened on Wednesday, and I did some more skipping rope that day. I've elected to switch things up, so that I skip for a minute, rest thirty seconds, and repeat. This is because of the development that I can keep swinging the rope while I rest, and that throws my old protocols for a loop because they assume that I'm just going to stop. Not a thing I do anymore.

 

Went home, ate clean, wrote, went to bed.

 

Thursday, the vicious cycle continued. No karate, but did manage headstands, and managed to get my kick ups under control. A good night.

 

In writing news, I've realized that the structure I wanted to use is actually part of a larger scheme of things, and I've essentially been playing with an engine without a car. So, I'mma build the car. So the novel has shifted into a Slice of Unlife story between a vampire barista and her live-in supernatural martial artist assistant. Together, they fight crime! And eat arepas! And actually, I really don't mind this turn.

 

I think I'm gonna have to refigure some logistics in terms of cooking and eating and such. I really can't seem to consistently manage an early turn-in, and getting out of work late isn't the problem so much as having to shop for groceries for dinner. Fortunately, I've got a pretty good idea of what I eat on a day by day basis, so I can get over to the butcher ahead of time, order out my portions, then freeze and reheat as necessary. That should save me enough time to have late work and train.

 

Today's docket will be core training and then off to karaoke to celebrate a friend's birthday. There will be drinking and partying and carrying on. Looking forward to it.

[Urgan]

38 minutes ago, Kishi said:

I think I'm gonna have to refigure some logistics in terms of cooking and eating and such. I really can't seem to consistently manage an early turn-in, and getting out of work late isn't the problem so much as having to shop for groceries for dinner. Fortunately, I've got a pretty good idea of what I eat on a day by day basis, so I can get over to the butcher ahead of time, order out my portions, then freeze and reheat as necessary. That should save me enough time to have late work and train.

 

Meal prep 1 degree in advance of the pain points of the schedule saves the day week.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Here to follow. I read the last few entries. I like the idea of a vampire martial artist buddy cop novel with high end coffee.

[Kishi]

On ‎11‎/‎16‎/‎2018 at 11:46 AM, Urgan said:

 

Meal prep 1 degree in advance of the pain points of the schedule saves the day week.

 

Enough days, at least.

 

On ‎11‎/‎19‎/‎2018 at 9:03 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Here to follow. I read the last few entries. I like the idea of a vampire martial artist buddy cop novel with high end coffee.

 

Well, howdy Padre! Welcome aboard! I'll see about returning the favor; I'm not very good at community right now between novel and work and mat time. In the meantime, glad to hear you like the novel's concept. Still hammering out the details though. ;;

 

*

 

Friday turned out great. Friday was a Core day, and training-wise it turned out to be a mixed bag - hollow body rocks stalled out where they are and I'm back to 4x36 again. Think my body is trying to tell me something; think I would be a fool not to listen.

 

The other core movements have progressed, though, and one of them even hit progression standard, so that's pretty cool.

 

Afterward, showered, trimmed up, and got out to karaoke with friends. We got drunk, sang, and had a great time. I was told by a friend that when she described me to strangers that she said I was "just... a good person." Heavy emphasis, lots of talk about how I didn't present with pretensions or with games, how I was just authentic and real.

 

I mean, I'm not saying I'm Best Boy in the anime based on my life. But I'm not not saying that either.

 

I took my measurements Friday morning before all this happened, incidentally. Scale says weight and body fat are up, but measurements say I've grown and lost in the right places to offset that. I'm pretty sure that the scale is using a limited sample size as it uses water bioimpedance to state percentages, and those are notorious for just using the legs and not going everywhere. Interesting.

 

Full disclosure, the measurements I take are for the Adonis Index - waist and shoulder measurements, and I've improved from ~1.27 a month ago to ~1.31, with the ideal being 1.6. (I'd take other measurements, but I'm not engaged in split training or isolation work, and everything is being trained in concert, so I don't really see a reason to get too into the weeds on this. Also, only doing this once per month). I lopped 50 calories off my "maintenance" total and we'll see what happens.

 

Saturday, slept in too much for Judo and went to Kali. Got to play with a new student. Finally got the chance to pressure test some of this stuff, and... it went okay. It had the same limitations I figured it would - we do lots of flow work and it's awesome, but when someone doesn't go with it, it's just stabby stab. I couldn't make any of the cuts happen that we practice, but the blades didn't scare me either, and I got the new guy a lot more than he got me. We ended up breaking it off when I got too close in on him and peeled back a toe nail on him. So that took a lot of fight out of him and we didn't do too much more after that.

 

Still, net positive. Manong agrees we need to make a point of pressure testing this stuff, and I proposed doing so in a ring set up, and he agreed. So, after about a year and a half or so, we're finally going to start sparring with this stuff. Good grief.

 

Got home and did upper body gymnastic stuff due to Sunday plans. Mixed bag again - more reps on push ups, more depth on rows but lost reps, and steady on planks. So, about what you expect when it's the week before deload.

 

But were these Sunday plans, you ask?

 

Well, the friends and I, as I mentioned, are working together to get an indie book marketing/publicist company off the ground. And we decided to do a photoshoot for our website, since right now we're using social media photos as placeholders. So, I got a Dresden Files T-shirt and my sport coat and we basically traipsed around Downtown Raleigh taking photos and hanging out for a while.

 

Went boxing afterward and worked on footwork and technique. That was pretty cool.

 

Monday, rested and gamed. Not much to it.

 

Tonight will be kettlebells and Karate. I've done the logistical stuff to support it, so it shouldn't be a problem. The only thing I have to figure out is how I want to deload this - probably just swings with the 8 and shoe TGUs.

[Urgan]

23 minutes ago, Kishi said:

We ended up breaking it off when I got too close in on him and peeled back a toe nail on him. So that took a lot of fight out of him and we didn't do too much more after that.

 

It's not over until you can say with confidence, "...that's gonna hurt in the morning."

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

We ended up breaking it off when I got too close in on him and peeled back a toe nail on him. So that took a lot of fight out of him and we didn't do too much more after that.

Regardless of how everything else went, I think that means you win.

[Kishi]

21 hours ago, Urgan said:

 

It's not over until you can say with confidence, "...that's gonna hurt in the morning."

 

Not even then.

 

21 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Regardless of how everything else went, I think that means you win.

 

Possibly! He got stabbed more than me.

 

*

 

Well, Karate didn't happen. Realized at the 11th hour that I was missing some groceries, and even though I took off from work early to go take care of some other errands that needed to be done, I couldn't accomplish the task in time.

 

Wound up okay, though, because I wound up getting a phone call from my best friend, who I've not spoken to in years, as that's the way things are. I got to catch up with him about a whole bunch of stuff, and it was pretty great.

 

I hit up deloaded kettlebell work, wrote, and that was that.

 

Today should be deloaded leg work. Toying with the idea of getting back on the mats tonight since my viewing buddy is off in Paris, poor man. Never tried this from how late I'm getting out of work, so I guess we'll see what happens. If the leg work goes too late, I will skip without guilt.

[Urgan]

3 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Not even then.

 

True, but not a minute before.

[Kishi]

So, leg work went late.  No guilt, but frustration. Still, this month is very good for teaching me about how I'm using my time.

 

Thursday was T-day. I got up, did some deloaded headstand work, and called the day good. Dinner afterward was an inter-family affair - we got together at my brother's friend's place and there was entirely too much food, as one would hope for. Mom made four different kinds of dessert, including some kind of unholy cross between chess and pecan pie. That's the only way I know how to describe it. We all tried it and concluded that, for the sake of our girlish figures, she couldn't make it again.

 

(low key hoping she will, tho)

 

Anyway, walked away from that with a couple plates of food - collards done right, meatballs, mac and cheese good enough to be a food group. Kishi was a happy boy.

 

Friday was a restful day. I did my core work, did some writing. Got my philosophical teeth kicked in on Facebook when I picked a fight over what I thought was a class analysis, which in fact turned out to be anti-intellectualism playing to my own biases and insecurity regarding my own work as a writer. K-sensei came down on me for that. He was not gentle. He never is, but he's harsh with me because he knows I can take it, and when my ego stopped stinging long enough for me to assess the arguments, I realized he was right. Had a long dark teatime of the soul for a few days before deciding that I don't care if I'm just writing proletariat trash that won't challenge anyone or represent the best of humanity. God made me to be a writer; I don't think I get to decide if he made me a great one or not, regardless of what my best efforts turn out.

 

Had a meeting afterward with the Publicists; we decided our plans for the next while or so. I halped. It was great. Ate the dinner plates. Which included the unholy chess pecan pie thing. I had to do it. It was for everyone else's own good. See what a good guy I am?

 

Saturday, Manong messaged me to let me know he was too stuffed to move and that class was cancelled. I wasn't too broke up about that. Went to the D&D game that my bro is running. His birthday fell on Thanksgiving this year; I sprung for his training for the next few months as I wanted to get him something meaningful since he'd got me something meaningful in getting me a good set of dice. He was appreciative. We didn't have a moment over it because that's not how he rolls (harrr), but it's okay.

 

Later that evening, went out to go write with a friend of mine. She's a big time JK Rowling fan; I'm not since I have some problems with how she comports herself in terms of authorial intent, and I think that even a generous interpretation of how she comports herself doesn't really paint her in a good light, but I was still smarting enough from my last lost argument to not press it. We wrote together, hung out, it was great. Played w/ deloaded kettlebells afterward, and that was the day.

 

Sunday, boxing and upper body work. It was good to be on the mats again. Moved with an anger and left the place feeling good. Did a little too much skipping rope, though, and some part of me is angry again. I think it's the hamstring? Not sure. Gentle movement and stretching is helping right now, but I'd really like to get a sense of what's going on where, you know?

 

Sunday night, did my part to help grow some mailing lists. I've gotten confirmation that it's working like gangbusters, but I skipped out on it last week due to the indepth meetings with the company and the photoshoot and such. So I made up for lost time. It was fun.

 

And, uh, yeah.

 

In heart news, my heart rate went a little high again. Not fully tachycardic or anything even close, but rather on the higher end of what's considered normal. It was enough to freak me out a bit, but it's slowed down a lot again. I didn't go to get it checked out because the last time I went to get it checked out didn't turn up anything, and I'm convinced I'm making a mountain of a molehill because I'm just used to having a low resting rate. I'm already scheduled for a physical on 12/05, and I'll bring it up with the docs then, but I'm pretty sure it's not going to come to anything. I doubt even a Holter Monitor would turn anything up.

 

Anyway, rest day today. Gaming seems to be on the docket? Not sure; no indications that it isn't. Want to get some writing done. Not sure what's going to happen.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

As a spectator for the FB thing, your detractors arguments weren't as pure as the driven snow. I stayed out of it because of my own biases about literary criticism and the fact that you were the only one I know.  There was some elitism on the part of some of those pushing back against your initial point, but they weren't all wrong, just unaware of how they were in part confirming the stereotypes the initial post was complaining about.

 

 

[Urgan]

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

Friday was a restful day. I did my core work, did some writing. Got my philosophical teeth kicked in on Facebook when I picked a fight over what I thought was a class analysis, which in fact turned out to be anti-intellectualism playing to my own biases and insecurity regarding my own work as a writer. K-sensei came down on me for that. He was not gentle. He never is, but he's harsh with me because he knows I can take it, and when my ego stopped stinging long enough for me to assess the arguments, I realized he was right. Had a long dark teatime of the soul for a few days before deciding that I don't care if I'm just writing proletariat trash that won't challenge anyone or represent the best of humanity. God made me to be a writer; I don't think I get to decide if he made me a great one or not, regardless of what my best efforts turn out.

 

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

In heart news, my heart rate went a little high again. Not fully tachycardic or anything even close, but rather on the higher end of what's considered normal. It was enough to freak me out a bit, but it's slowed down a lot again. I didn't go to get it checked out because the last time I went to get it checked out didn't turn up anything, and I'm convinced I'm making a mountain of a molehill because I'm just used to having a low resting rate. I'm already scheduled for a physical on 12/05, and I'll bring it up with the docs then, but I'm pretty sure it's not going to come to anything. I doubt even a Holter Monitor would turn anything up.

 

[Kishi]

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

As a spectator for the FB thing, your detractors arguments weren't as pure as the driven snow. I stayed out of it because of my own biases about literary criticism and the fact that you were the only one I know.  There was some elitism on the part of some of those pushing back against your initial point, but they weren't all wrong, just unaware of how they were in part confirming the stereotypes the initial post was complaining about.

 

 

 

Yeah, well. If my only counter argument was about their style rather than their substance, then I'd already lost. They weren't wrong, and they had a way deeper understanding of the issues at hand than I did. Like I said. The OP in that whole thing played back to my biases about my writing because I genuinely do want to write something good, something that takes a lot of the deep ideas of literature and makes them into something that anyone would want to read. That's actually something I'm trying to do with the novel right now. I mean, it's going to be planned out like a pulp novel, but that doesn't mean the ideas in it can't point to something deeper. And I guess I just felt like I was being rejected for trying before I'd even got to the starting line.

 

Anyway. My feelings aside, the fact the remains that it's not bad to try, and there's no reason to believe that I'm dead in the water on this one. I just need to learn to think deeper, and confront myself by trying to put aside my prejudices and actually engage with the deep works in a meaningful way rather than paying lip service to them.

 

1 hour ago, Urgan said:

 

 

 

I really, really hope not. I do not have time to stress out about all this.

[Kishi]

So, after I typed all this out, I went out for a break. Ran into K-sensei (we work at the same place), and the first thing he said was, "Hey man, I'm sorry. I wasn't angry at you." (he'd used an 'angry' emote on the OP). I said it was okay, no big deal. We talked for a bit. I told him that I'd posted up on it because it spoke to some of my insecurities, and that I'd given up on myself as writing anything great. Without missing a beat he said "You don't know that. Between where you are now and where you'll be when you publish something, there's no telling what you'll live through and what'll come out because of it. And anyway, great or not, whatever happens, don't stop writing."

 

Not that I got choked up about it or anything, but I did feel better. The air feels clear. Good.

 

Tuesday, I laid low to get my work done on the novel and also did my practice. S&S with all the swings at 16 and one set of TGUs at 16. Then shadowboxed, did some kata, and finished off with horse stance. Hamstring's not hurting afterward, although it felt a little different and it is probably a sign I need to stay here for a bit.

 

In terms of content, the novel's reached the requisite amount to win the month, but it's not finished. Not even close. I figured out a bunch of stuff I wanted to do - I got some ideas about the vampires that really make some of the larger themes I want to explore really pop - and I know what structural stuff I want to follow. Now I just need to get most of this stuff written down and uploaded to the master document and... yeah, I think we'll be good to go.

 

Anyway, got to work late, so it'll be The Expanse and beer without any training to mollify the effects. Oh well.

[Treva]

Hey I did the classic Treva thing and thought I had posted to you about your writing internet thing and hadn't.

 

I am really glad you ran into k-sensei to talk about the posting, because he told you what I was gonna say with less eloquence.  I am so glad he was there to tell you to not stop writing, because you shouldn't!  You have really cool ideas and your story, no matter who thinks its "good" or "not good", is worthy of being told.

 

On 11/26/2018 at 4:42 PM, Kishi said:

Anyway. My feelings aside, the fact the remains that it's not bad to try, and there's no reason to believe that I'm dead in the water on this one. I just need to learn to think deeper, and confront myself by trying to put aside my prejudices and actually engage with the deep works in a meaningful way rather than paying lip service to them.

Of course you're not dead in the water.  Tolkien's works were legendary, as were CS Lewis's; they dictate huge themes and compelling truths about humanity in a context that people like to say is "pop culture" and "not serious".   You can refuse to take the inlkings seriously but that doesn't change the fact that their works are good. 

I think your ability to engage with deep works but present truths in a setting familiar to a more general audience rather than elitist critics is a good thing in a writer.  The point is to tell your story and have it mean something to people, right?  If you're writing elitist literature, it's harder to reach people.  Bonus: you are also, by trying to do this, ALWAYS going to be better than 50 Shades of Horse Manure.  

I'm rambling.  Anyways, if you need a pep talk, I'd encourage you to give Richard Bausch's Letter to a Young Writer a read, if you haven't come across it.  I know you're not a novice, but I really like it for it's inspirational qualities.  

 

 

On 11/28/2018 at 5:19 PM, Kishi said:

In terms of content, the novel's reached the requisite amount to win the month, but it's not finished. Not even close. I figured out a bunch of stuff I wanted to do - I got some ideas about the vampires that really make some of the larger themes I want to explore really pop - and I know what structural stuff I want to follow. Now I just need to get most of this stuff written down and uploaded to the master document and... yeah, I think we'll be good to go.

DO WANT DO WANT DO WANT

sounds well thought out AND bangin interesting.  You do it dude, you do it.