Terror is Also A Form of Communication

[mainecoon]

And that would be me at this point. I am diabetic, which comes with a host of serious complications. I have just been diagnosed with sarcoidosis, which I am considering my plus one (ie also can cause lots of serious complications.)

 

Both of these things are terrifying - as they should be. And both diseases can be helped by weight lost and better physical health. I've never exercised on a regular basis, and I've dieted all my life, some times more successfully than others. But always at the end gaining most of the weight back. At the moment, I am looking at not just death, but rotting... And to be honest it is the rotting that truly terrifies me more.

 

I am currently in the overweight / not obese weight range, which to be honest has generally been my goal in life. My mother was always overweight and I was determined never to weight more than 200 pounds. In fact, when I was diagnosed with diabetes, ten-ish years ago, I was over 200. I lost enough weight at that time, though terror, to get below 200 again, although not much below. I  bounce against that weight like it is a ceiling. SparkPeople (where I just signed up) thinks I can go from my current 187 to 146 by the middle of October. I doubt that to be honest. I would be thrilled to lose 20 pounds and some of the belly fat I keep reading is so unhealthy.

 

Anyway... in the search for something I could commit too, I ran across nerdfitness. I'm older and I have a very weak lower back. It's pretty easy for me to talk myself out of moving. I like the excitement I feel when I look at the nerd fitness materials. They all seem very reasonable and something that a "real person" can do. Plus I'm a gamer, which is not something most people in my real life know. Nice older ladies are not expected to play MMORPGs. So nerdfitness appeals to me because it seems like a place I can be who I really am: an overweight, little old lady gamer. ;-D

 

Thus far I've read the fitness guide, the diet guide and food fighter. I actually went shopping today at my local organic market and was pleased to find all the fresh food I bought did NOT cost me more than the food I usually buy. I have eaten significantly less fast food in the last two weeks, and significantly more protein.

 

My goals for this week are to:

 

+figure out what I can take to work to eat for lunch (as that's my worst meal of the day)

+read the fitness guide again and begin the lowest level of the fitness workouts, starting out with the stretching for 10 minutes at least one day 

+take one ten minute walk

+drink two glasses of water a day

 

Not very exciting I know. But it is a start.

 

Likely I posted way more than anyone wants to know. So thanks for "listening".

[DaygloNirvana]

Thanks for posting! You'll find lots of support here on the forums.  Don't be afraid to pipe in.  Take a look at the six week challenges, and as always try your best!  Don't get discouraged if you don't reach all your goals at once.  Just pick yourself up, brush yourself off and keep truckin' down that road.  That's what I'm doing.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Welcome aboard. You have an excellent starting point, doing too much too soon almost garuntees burnout. Paleo is a good diet for diabetics as it doesn't fluctuate blood sugar much. Terror can be a good starting point, but your brain cannot sustain that level of terror you now feel unless the threat steadily increases. At some point, if you want to stay healthy, the health itself will have to become a greater motivation than the desire to avoid something negative. Glad to have you in the rebellion.

[mainecoon]

Renegade, you're completely correct. After the first surge of Terror wore off, I slipped more and more back into old habits and I knew it would happen again. Which is why I'm here. :-D

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Ok then, what is your reason for getting fit now without the terror?

[mainecoon]

@tanktimus - I just woke up one morning a month or so ago, and thought "I've got to do better. My health is the most important thing to me. And if that is true: DO SOMETHING!" 

[wildross]

Nf will expose you to so many ways to be fit and have fun. And that is the key to not doing it from terror. Find fun fitness and it is much better than have to fitness. For some it is weights, for some running, for some parkour, etc. You mat be surprised where you end up.

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[Jakob Kopfeld]

@tanktimus - I just woke up one morning a month or so ago, and thought "I've got to do better. My health is the most important thing to me. And if that is true: DO SOMETHING!" 

 

 

Hi mainecoon!

It's awesome that you are here. This community is really supportive and positive. Everyone here will be pleased to help you out if they can.

 

You're right, your health is the most important thing you've got, and you only get one. If you take enough little steps (Steve likes to write a lot about that) and make little changes that actually stick you"ll easily, with a little bit of time, reach your goals and become a healthier person.

Welcome to the Rebellion

[soleil]

My goals for this week are to:

 

+figure out what I can take to work to eat for lunch (as that's my worst meal of the day)

+read the fitness guide again and begin the lowest level of the fitness workouts, starting out with the stretching for 10 minutes at least one day 

+take one ten minute walk

+drink two glasses of water a day

 

Not very exciting I know. But it is a start.

 

Welcome to the rebellion! Haven't you heard how cool it is to be boring?

Your health is the most important thing you have, and it's obvious that you've had a rougher hand dealt to your body than some. Keep up the good work changing little things at a time and you'll get there. Good luck for your challenge, too!

[mainecoon]

I'm not doing so well with the challenge. And I was kind of down about it.

 

But yesterday, I realized, as I was walking around the grocery store, that I am making positive changes. I was buying frozen steamer pack veggies, and grilled chicken for lunch (one of the hardest meals for me to eat well) and my cart was filled with mostly meat, fruit and veggies. And that is a definite change for the good. I've even lost a few pounds. I also realized I wouldn't even know about some of the things in my cart if I wasn't in these forums. So, in balance, happy.

 

And committed to doing a little bit more, and a little bit more.

[sumdawgtwigg]

I think it's very exciting! Welcome and best of luck on all the goals that you set. 

[alienjenn]

I'm not doing so well with the challenge. And I was kind of down about it.

baby steps doll.... baby steps!

 

two steps forward one step back... is still one step forward (net)...

 

it's all about progress...

[mainecoon]

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you get kind of lost in the struggle? Hyper-aware of all your failures, but not really tuned in that you are also succeeding some of the time? That just happened to me. I went in for my quarterly checkup (I'm diabetic) and my doctor actually beamed at me. "You've lost ten pounds since the last time I saw you! And your A1c (long term blood sugar level) is down almost a full point! You can consider your diabetes under control at this moment and if you keep this up, we may be able to take you off some of your meds!" And then she said "Why aren't you more excited?" The truth is I was stunned. I'd noticed I was falling off the "eat real food" wagon a bit lately, and I'd snuck in a couple of sugared soft drinks and I was busy beating myself up for that. But the fact that I had to exchange a skirt I bought for a smaller size that was still loose on me, the fact that my blood sugar when I tested it was generally down about 20 points from what it had been averaging, those things I managed not to really notice. 

 

What I'm afraid of is that if I start to suceed I'll sabotage myself, but I've let myself be happy about this for the last 24 hours. And I wanted to share.

 

Please put a good thought out into the Universe for me that I don't trip myself up and that I continue on. 

[alienjenn]

 

What I'm afraid of is that if I start to suceed I'll sabotage myself, but I've let myself be happy about this for the last 24 hours. And I wanted to share.

 

Please put a good thought out into the Universe for me that I don't trip myself up and that I continue on. 

I totally understand...

Success is hard because change is hard... our minds get to this point where "this" (whatever this is) is the new homeostasis... and moving away from that is difficult... where you are you may not be happy but you know it and it knows you and it's easy...

Your identity becomes wrapped up in where you are now and it's difficult to craft a new one...

Celebrate the small successes... you got into a smaller skirt... your doc said you're doing well...

Ok you made some slip ups... bfd... everyday you can start over.... every hour you can start over.... the past is in the past... move on and regroup...

You can do this... don't beat yourself up... it's taken me eleven years to lose seventy five pounds... that's ok... the journey and the lessons are the primary goal here... weight loss is secondary

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[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Well done! That's so awesome about getting your diabetes under control.  I hear what you're saying about the negativity, I struggle with it too.  Have you considered seeing a counselor to try and talk through some of those issues? It worked for me, in fact it was in a counseling session that I had a huge breakthrough that led to me finally starting regular excersize.

[sweetleaf5]

Best of luck to you!!