Minimum wage job + no support =??

[this-is-my-labyrinth]

Hello all! Some background story for you:

 

Ever since my family moved from everything I have ever known to an extremely hot and confusing town in the middle of the east coast, I have struggled with my weight. I never adjusted; I had been moved into the middle of the south's 4th- grade school year. I sounded funny to them- I had no accent. I said "warsh" instead of "wash". It was "pop", not "Coke" or "soda". You get the idea.

Also, I was a *huge* Buckeye fan. College football was (and still is) extremely serious to me. The SEC did not like the fact that I didn't care for Clemson or Alabama in the slightest.

 

Therefore I was the outcast. I didn't care for my peers anyways, so I sat in class and read books that were made for someone my grandmothers age. I came home and read. I ate popcorn and drank a pop, had some cookies and milk... grazed until my parents came home from work, and then I ate whatever was on my plate. It was usually something that included a high- carb grain, like white rice or fried rice, canned green beans cooked with bacon grease, and some form of protein that was smothered in something high in bad fats and sugars.

 

Between my 4th grade year and the time I hit puberty, I went from being a happy, smiley child to being extremely depressed and surly. 

Then, in the middle of 7th grade, my cycles started.

On top of being extremely angry and bitter at the world, I gained about 20 pounds that year. Top that off with greasy hair and acne along with an underdeveloped bust and Harry Potter glasses, I was the school laughing stock.

 

My eighth grade year, I started having issues with my cycles. Periods would last for months on end at an extremely heavy flow. My mother was about to take up stock in Playtex...

so I went on birth control. I gained more weight, and more depression issues, and more anxiety... and even worse, the birth control stopped working after a year.

So I went on Seasonale. I only had four periods a year (yay!), but gained another 20 pounds, putting me at 5'2" and 155 pounds. I was even more miserable than before, but at least I wasn't having to pack a change of clothes everyday. 

But my mental status was even worse. I flipped shit- literally. Suicidal thoughts, severe depression, severe anxiety- I couldn't keep anything that I ate down. Everything that was in my stomach came back up without force. Between that and swim practice, I went down to 140ish pounds... but I didn't look healthy. My skin was sallow, and my medium-brown hair made me look even more pale than I already was.

 

But I stayed on that birth control until my sophomore year of high school, when I stopped taking it cold turkey. I was only a week into my new pack, and into my garbage can it went. 

 

Fast forward until now.

I am currently 5'5", and 176lbs (down from 181, which is down from 190). I am a size 12 in jeans, a large/XL in shirts, and a freshman in college. I'm afraid to show any skin whatsoever because of how I look. I am ashamed of my body. It's even worse whenever my boyfriend is in town. No, he doesn't make me feel bad about myself. Quite the contrary. However, he is a Marine. He is extremely tall (6'6"), and weighs about 190lbs. But he's extremely thin due to his high metabolism. (Note: he lives off of Monster energy drinks and potato chips). There was a point where I outweighed him by 5 or 10 pounds (before he left for boot camp). I am extremely embarrassed to sleep with him, or even wear shorts or capris and tight shirts around him. I know that he loves my body the way it is, and he has stated this a lot, but I'm still self conscious about it.

 

My issue is this: I make a little over $7.50 an hour- but I only work about 12-16 hours a week, and Uncle Sam sure takes a lot out of my paycheck for me to be making that little. 

And my parents aren't entirely unsupportive, but they aren't the most enthusiastic "lets jump on the bandwagon to make things easier for her" types of people. In fact, my dad believes that if I cut certain things out of my diet (pop, ice cream- neither of which I eat anyways, and when I do, it's on special occasions like my birthday or family gatherings), and went to the gym 2x a week, I'd drop weight like crazy.

 

To humor him, I've taken those things out of my diet, and let my dog walk me walk my dog every day, because it's been pretty outside and my neighborhood is hilly. I've lost 5? pounds. Because of my minimal weight loss, it is assumed that I am either lying OR I am a closet eater. Neither of which is true.

 

I've tried asking them to clean the bad things out of the house because I am a very weak person when it comes to temptation. This was vetoed quickly, because "you should have the self control". Bullshit, I love Lucky Charms and bread and butter and all things fried and sweet. 

 

So, with no support (or help) from my parents, I went to my physician for help. I was, of course, prescribed with a weight loss agent (Phentermine/Adipex P) to speed up my weight loss and get me past my "hump" of 171lbs. I was then preached to about how the scale isn't everything, which I fully understand. But, I believe that with my minimal exercise and diet, it's a pretty good representation of my body fat percentage. 

 

I was right. I'm at 28.6% body fat. Depressing, especially with the summer coming up.

 

 

So, aside from my rambling and run-on sentences (it's going on midnight here, and I haven't been sleeping well lately), my question to you is this:

 

I don't make a lot, and my parents won't help me, and I'd love to go paleo because bread bloats me up anyways, and milk does the same. I don't have the support behind me (with the exception of my boyfriend, who is stationed 5 hours from me, and I need constant motivation IN MY FACE to do anything). How do I go paleo?

 

Halp.

 

Picture is of me, this last August at the beach. I was at 175-180lbs at that time.

[sumdawgtwigg]

Welcome aboard! You've got this! 

[this-is-my-labyrinth]

Thanks!

[GetOffaMyRunway]

Welcome aboard! You kind of sound like mirror-me: I was moved from New Jersey to Ohio as a kid, and had the same kind of problems. I didn't know what pop was, I thought sucker was a person who fell for someone's tricks, and I said caw-fee instead or coffee. Fast forward a few years and I've got horrible PCOS and (finally diagnosed!) bipolar depression complicating things.

 

I've been going strong so far even with my parents and their horrible eating habits in the house. My father routinely makes food I love but don't want to eat and offers me some, or buys treats at the grocery store. (I caved last night and ate two buffalo wings.) My dog is certainly helping - once I got her used to a daily walk, she now bugs everyone until I take her.

 

I have a couple of suggestions you can try. It sounds like you are living at home? Try volunteering to take over the grocery shopping. Have your parents make a list, and while I'm sure they'll want you to get some of the things it's hard to stay away from, you can make sure you have an alternative to reach for. If that doesn't work, you can try to carve out a few dollars every week to buy some good food for yourself. I did that for a while, I only make a little more than you do right now. I found that my willpower gets a little stronger when it's "I could eat this cereal or I could have an orange, an apple, banana, some chicken, or some berries" vs. "I could eat this cereal or I could be strong and not have a snack." Give yourself choices.

 

And don't beat yourself up if you mess up. I had two hot wings yesterday because the smell was overwhelming. I'm not beating myself up about it, because once upon a time I would have eaten a whole plate of wings with a soda and something carb-y on the side. I ate the two wings, enjoyed them, and then got right back to my healthy eating plan. Relish your little victories like that.

[marionette]

I'm an inch shorter than you, and 20lbs heavier. 

 

It is tough. And I'm sure the following is going to come off harsh, but it isn't meant to be anything other than real.

 

First, you need to take some control over your diet. I know you have limited funds, so spend them wisely. Farmer's markets are great ways to pack a bag full of veggies for cheap. Start making dinner once or twice a week at home, pitch it as your way of "helping out" when really it is about taking some control. Volunteer to go get the groceries and ask for a list from your parents a few days in advance and look for some coupons for savings that you can use to get better food. Lucky Charms might be your kryptonite, so measure out a serving using a measuring cup. You can't go paleo if you don't take control.

 

Second, you need to be more active. Paleo is not a magic bullet, it is a tool. If you want to really change how you look, you need to exercise. Try working some jogging into your dog walks, or looking into a couch to 5k program. Look at the beginner body weight exercises and do them. The hotel room exercise guide is great too and you can do it in the privacy of your room. Start with a couple days a week, work up from there.

 

College is a lot of work, but taking a moment every day to do something for yourself will pay huge dividends. Not only will your physical health improve but your mental health will to. You might find a confidence in yourself you didn't know you had. You might find that when your boyfriend is home you are dragging him off on some sort of adventure. What you might find by taking the time to invest in yourself is that you have no limits and there is no stopping you.

 

If you read my intro story you'll see where I'm coming from, and where I'm going. I see no reason why you can't do the same.

[this-is-my-labyrinth]

I'm an inch shorter than you, and 20lbs heavier. 

 

It is tough. And I'm sure the following is going to come off harsh, but it isn't meant to be anything other than real.

 

First, you need to take some control over your diet. I know you have limited funds, so spend them wisely. Farmer's markets are great ways to pack a bag full of veggies for cheap. Start making dinner once or twice a week at home, pitch it as your way of "helping out" when really it is about taking some control. Volunteer to go get the groceries and ask for a list from your parents a few days in advance and look for some coupons for savings that you can use to get better food. Lucky Charms might be your kryptonite, so measure out a serving using a measuring cup. You can't go paleo if you don't take control.

 

Second, you need to be more active. Paleo is not a magic bullet, it is a tool. If you want to really change how you look, you need to exercise. Try working some jogging into your dog walks, or looking into a couch to 5k program. Look at the beginner body weight exercises and do them. The hotel room exercise guide is great too and you can do it in the privacy of your room. Start with a couple days a week, work up from there.

 

College is a lot of work, but taking a moment every day to do something for yourself will pay huge dividends. Not only will your physical health improve but your mental health will to. You might find a confidence in yourself you didn't know you had. You might find that when your boyfriend is home you are dragging him off on some sort of adventure. What you might find by taking the time to invest in yourself is that you have no limits and there is no stopping you.

 

If you read my intro story you'll see where I'm coming from, and where I'm going. I see no reason why you can't do the same.

I do not like to run. I'll go ahead and throw that out there. I do not like being miserable whenever I work out, so I've stuck to walking and swimming. When the weather is nice (it's been raining since Saturday here... yuck), I plan on taking my bike out. I'm in the process of fixing the breaks... which I might want to have fixed before I cycle in an area full of crazy drivers who tend to come up on curbs. Not even the sidewalk is safe! 

 

There aren't any farmers markets here that I am aware of, but I will start searching for them.

 

I am in the process of [slowly] transitioning my diet from Lucky Charms to a "healthier" grain, like All Bran and Raisin Bran. I was told that I did not have enough fiber in my diet, which would explain my irregular bowels.

Instead of coming home and eating a few cookies, I come home and I eat a Greek yogurt. 

Instead of pop, I'll have water, or seltzer water with lemon/ other fruits. I usually stick to tea.

 

I have started looking for grain alternatives, like making cauliflower rice for my sushi. Emcee on chat recommended Sashimi, which I am going to have to look into.

 

Welcome aboard! You kind of sound like mirror-me: I was moved from New Jersey to Ohio as a kid, and had the same kind of problems. I didn't know what pop was, I thought sucker was a person who fell for someone's tricks, and I said caw-fee instead or coffee. Fast forward a few years and I've got horrible PCOS and (finally diagnosed!) bipolar depression complicating things.

 

I've been going strong so far even with my parents and their horrible eating habits in the house. My father routinely makes food I love but don't want to eat and offers me some, or buys treats at the grocery store. (I caved last night and ate two buffalo wings.) My dog is certainly helping - once I got her used to a daily walk, she now bugs everyone until I take her.

 

I have a couple of suggestions you can try. It sounds like you are living at home? Try volunteering to take over the grocery shopping. Have your parents make a list, and while I'm sure they'll want you to get some of the things it's hard to stay away from, you can make sure you have an alternative to reach for. If that doesn't work, you can try to carve out a few dollars every week to buy some good food for yourself. I did that for a while, I only make a little more than you do right now. I found that my willpower gets a little stronger when it's "I could eat this cereal or I could have an orange, an apple, banana, some chicken, or some berries" vs. "I could eat this cereal or I could be strong and not have a snack." Give yourself choices.

 

And don't beat yourself up if you mess up. I had two hot wings yesterday because the smell was overwhelming. I'm not beating myself up about it, because once upon a time I would have eaten a whole plate of wings with a soda and something carb-y on the side. I ate the two wings, enjoyed them, and then got right back to my healthy eating plan. Relish your little victories like that.

 

I think I have PCOS. I might not, though. My Mirena causes cysts, and I can feel them burst. It's quite painful. I've been in tears before, so I at least partially know how you feel. My boyfriend/fiance is from Jersey. He makes fun of me for saying pop 

I do live with my parents. They are willing to help me out, but my father has said some cruel things whenever I get onto a fitness kick. It's his way of "motivating me", but all it does is make me want to curl up in a hole and die. 

When it comes to cereals, I do measure things out... usually less than the serving size, because I'm never hungry in the mornings. If it weren't for the fact that I'm on my feet for a good part of the day (clinicals for nurse aide plus hostessing), I would skip breakfast, sleep in, and then go straight to lunch. I force myself awake at 9 in the morning every day, and at 6:45  whenever I open at work. My normal sleep cycle is opposite... sleep until 7 at night, stay up until 7 in the morning. I hate being awake during the day.

 

Nothing wrong with a little treat now and then!

 

I've just been so burnt out on food lately. I bought myself a quesadilla maker from Target, and have started putting chicken and a bit of cheese in there and packing that for lunch.

 

Just, whatever you do... don't pack a creamy peanut butter sandwich and then change two extremely nasty briefs. I didn't eat that day.

[BigEdna]

Just, whatever you do... don't pack a creamy peanut butter sandwich and then change two extremely nasty briefs. I didn't eat that day.

 

 

I shuddered, reading that. I promise to never do those two things in the same day. 

 

Just so you know, it is totally possible to be extremely poor and still be fit. There are so many good resources (especially here) for strength training and other exercise that requires nothing but you or stuff you can find around your house. It is totally possible and YOU CAN DO IT. If Dad's not supportive or is unintentionally cruel, people here can help out. If you feel like it's not working out and you're fighting an uphill battle, you're not alone. 

 

People here are really awesome. Which means that you're really awesome because... you're here too. Hang in there.

[allirep]

you look adorbs - btw. if you live anywhere near me - you just pop by and i'll feed you paleo food.

 

ok - enough w/the unhelpful - you should make use of the paleo recipes board.  there are some great alternatives out there.  cauliflower is good.  spaghetti squash is yummy - just explore.

 

if you offered to do more cooking and/or the grocery shopping would your parents be more flexible w/the groceries? i find that if i offer to do the cooking at a relative's house - they seem to be less grippy if there isn't any bread on the table. beg, barter, bribe. whatever it takes.  i have 2 stepkids that will probably never be grain-free. so there are unhealthy foods in my pantry at all times. it is hard.  some nights i cook two separate meals. but we all eat together.  

 

there is a board for folks who live w/non paleos.  i think it is called "a house divided".  it can be done. if you live in the southern end of the east coast - there should be a farmers market.  if you live in a decent sized college town, there is probably a co-op.

[this-is-my-labyrinth]

you look adorbs - btw. if you live anywhere near me - you just pop by and i'll feed you paleo food.

 

ok - enough w/the unhelpful - you should make use of the paleo recipes board.  there are some great alternatives out there.  cauliflower is good.  spaghetti squash is yummy - just explore.

 

if you offered to do more cooking and/or the grocery shopping would your parents be more flexible w/the groceries? i find that if i offer to do the cooking at a relative's house - they seem to be less grippy if there isn't any bread on the table. beg, barter, bribe. whatever it takes.  i have 2 stepkids that will probably never be grain-free. so there are unhealthy foods in my pantry at all times. it is hard.  some nights i cook two separate meals. but we all eat together.  

 

there is a board for folks who live w/non paleos.  i think it is called "a house divided".  it can be done. if you live in the southern end of the east coast - there should be a farmers market.  if you live in a decent sized college town, there is probably a co-op.

I live in NC. Thanks for the offer!

 

My parents are usually pretty flexible, but I need to either designate one pantry to be *my* pantry or completely clean out all of the pantries and the fridge, because I do not do well with temptation at all. I've got my mom kinda/sorta on the wagon.

 

 

Just, whatever you do... don't pack a creamy peanut butter sandwich and then change two extremely nasty briefs. I didn't eat that day.

 

 

I shuddered, reading that. I promise to never do those two things in the same day. 

 

Just so you know, it is totally possible to be extremely poor and still be fit. There are so many good resources (especially here) for strength training and other exercise that requires nothing but you or stuff you can find around your house. It is totally possible and YOU CAN DO IT. If Dad's not supportive or is unintentionally cruel, people here can help out. If you feel like it's not working out and you're fighting an uphill battle, you're not alone. 

 

People here are really awesome. Which means that you're really awesome because... you're here too. Hang in there.

 

LOL today wasn't as bad. The elderly are endearing, as always, but I still don't like to change a peanut-butter like substance before break.

Just about lost my breakfast that day.

 

I'm not giving it my all yet, because I need to talk to my mom about it and get a list together... but I'm putting in more effort than I was. Thanks for the support.

[this-is-my-labyrinth]

Update: Mom is now on board, and whatever Mom does, Dad follows.

[allirep]

YEAH

[rogaecia]

Update: Mom is now on board, and whatever Mom does, Dad follows.

That's great news- build it and they will come

Since your boyfriend is in the Marines, he probably has a wealth of knowledge in regards to working out. Do you know if he would be interested in cheering you on and helping you with what your goals are?

The truth is that no one likes to be miserable when they work out. A lot of the time we learn to enjoy what we do when we start seeing the positive results of our actions. 

I can tell you I never really saw myself as being into running around. It hurts. I have a big body and moving it around isn't super pleasant, but taking that time to focus on myself is extremely rewarding and it pays off in more ways than one. 

You have taken the first few steps, you can definitely climb your mountain. 

Welcome!

[alienjenn]

I'm an inch shorter than you and I started at 340 (I'm now 263)

It starts with baby steps... tiny changes that accumulate...

You will find a lot of help here

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2

[this-is-my-labyrinth]

That's great news- build it and they will come

Since your boyfriend is in the Marines, he probably has a wealth of knowledge in regards to working out. Do you know if he would be interested in cheering you on and helping you with what your goals are?

The truth is that no one likes to be miserable when they work out. A lot of the time we learn to enjoy what we do when we start seeing the positive results of our actions. 

I can tell you I never really saw myself as being into running around. It hurts. I have a big body and moving it around isn't super pleasant, but taking that time to focus on myself is extremely rewarding and it pays off in more ways than one. 

You have taken the first few steps, you can definitely climb your mountain. 

Welcome!

 

Thanks!

I'm an inch shorter than you and I started at 340 (I'm now 263) It starts with baby steps... tiny changes that accumulate... You will find a lot of help here Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2

Thanks! And you've made great progress:)

[Teros]

I also despise walking, so I decided to try out a shovelglove and I love it.  Once you find a workout and food that you enjoy, it stops being a chore and instead becomes new life changes.  I second the spaghetti squash.  It's as cheap as a box of pasta, super easy to make, and tastes pretty damn good.  Being italian I can honestly say I don't miss pasta since I've found spaghetti squash.  Also for workouts, you might wanna see about homemade equipment.  For example, an empty gallon water jug filled with sand and duct taped up can make a nifty dumbell/free weight.  Same with sandbags, old tires, and my fav- sledgehammer. 

 

Also, if your dad thinks that all you had to do was tweak some soda issues; why would most of this country be morbidly obese?  It's not just ONE drink and a quick jog.  It's a whole world of processed unhealthy foods.

 

oh yeah, and if you have a spare 40 bucks- a crockpot can do wonders.  Make whole cuts of meat/meals perfectly without any fuss.  I've found it a worthwhile investment.

[wilfnelson]

My suggestion and I know this is going to go completely against the grain, ask for money for Christmas or your birthday whichever and save up for a trip to a nutritionist. Nutritionists are much better trained than doctors when it comes to understanding how food affects the body, I only say this because your irregular periods, your skin problems, not losing weight despite altering diet all suggest some form of hormonal imbalance.

If this is the case then you are like a hyperthyroid patient attempting to gain weight at the pizza parlour, good intention but you won't see any results until you understand what is going on.

Paleo is very good for this stuff but you may need medication to help correct anything that is wrong. Now I live in England where we have a wholly different view of the sick and needy, we have the NHS but as my gran used to say there are three places money should always be spent: health, security and good food.

Hope this suggestion helps

[this-is-my-labyrinth]

My suggestion and I know this is going to go completely against the grain, ask for money for Christmas or your birthday whichever and save up for a trip to a nutritionist. Nutritionists are much better trained than doctors when it comes to understanding how food affects the body, I only say this because your irregular periods, your skin problems, not losing weight despite altering diet all suggest some form of hormonal imbalance.

If this is the case then you are like a hyperthyroid patient attempting to gain weight at the pizza parlour, good intention but you won't see any results until you understand what is going on.

Paleo is very good for this stuff but you may need medication to help correct anything that is wrong. Now I live in England where we have a wholly different view of the sick and needy, we have the NHS but as my gran used to say there are three places money should always be spent: health, security and good food.

Hope this suggestion helps

I'm going to try to get to a nutritionist that is covered by insurance, but I don't know how to look that up. Mom is off Tuesday, and I'll have her look into it. I do have a hormonal imbalance, which was fixed by Mirena. However, I do get a lot of painful ovarian cysts (minus the PCOS), along with a ridiculous amount of vaginal infections. Gets tiring being on a ridiculous amount of medications. I don't have any thyroid issues, which I've had tested before when PCOS was thought to be a diagnosis. A lot of it is probably depression- I don't like NC. It's gotten better, but I'm self conscious at the gym because a lot of extremely judgmental people I went to school with are at the same gyms.

 

I'm probably moving in the fall of this year/spring 2013, and I'm moving towards the coast. So I'll have flatter lands (and a beach as incentive!) 

 

I also despise walking, so I decided to try out a shovelglove and I love it.  Once you find a workout and food that you enjoy, it stops being a chore and instead becomes new life changes.  I second the spaghetti squash.  It's as cheap as a box of pasta, super easy to make, and tastes pretty damn good.  Being italian I can honestly say I don't miss pasta since I've found spaghetti squash.  Also for workouts, you might wanna see about homemade equipment.  For example, an empty gallon water jug filled with sand and duct taped up can make a nifty dumbell/free weight.  Same with sandbags, old tires, and my fav- sledgehammer. 

 

Also, if your dad thinks that all you had to do was tweak some soda issues; why would most of this country be morbidly obese?  It's not just ONE drink and a quick jog.  It's a whole world of processed unhealthy foods.

 

oh yeah, and if you have a spare 40 bucks- a crockpot can do wonders.  Make whole cuts of meat/meals perfectly without any fuss.  I've found it a worthwhile investment.

Thankfully, we have a crockpot. We have freeweights, etc. It's just a matter of using them. And I know the feeling of being Italian- I am, also.

[minx34]

Hi, good luck on your journey! I'm so happy that your mom is on board, and that you are making steps for change. I know what it is like to be uncomfortable around your boyfriend, even though he loves you and supports you. I am 215 and 5'5, plus its an interacial relationship. I'm new, so I don't have much advice. But keep at it! I'm rooting for you, and I hope we can both get to the best versions of ourselves. 

 

P.S. You are gorgeous, no mater what size you are. And I love your swimsuit.

[DaygloNirvana]

Good luck!

[moose004]

First off, I'd say "welcome to NC" but you've been here a lot longer than I have.

 

Second, you look great in that picture.  Do not be ashamed of how you look now because you have no reason to be.  Think instead of what's inside there just waiting to come out.

 

Third, while I'm very new here and not doing paleo, I did do Atkins for a while years ago and will second the suggestions for both cauliflower and spaghetti squash.  I hate most vegetables, but fortunately my wife was quite good at making cauliflower and spaghetti squash into quite good substitutes for my beloved carbs back in the day.

 

Fourth, I don't know where you live in the state, but my gym suggestion, if you want to use gym facilities and can free up the money--it doesn't sound like you can, but maybe your parental units would help out?--is to join a YMCA.  Yes they can be pricey, the family membership we currently have here in Kannapolis is $71 a month, but for that you get a great staff, mostly good facilities (at the ones I've been in in Durham and here in K-town), and I have NEVER seen anybody judged no matter how they look or how old/young/whatever they are.  NEVER.  I drag my 306-pound booty down to the Y here as often as I can and nobody even gives me a second look when I'm flabbing around the pool or the weight machines, and they didn't in Durham either.  I don't know if it's an option, but I've had very positive experiences with them, more positive than privately-owned for-profit gyms.

 

Finally, I agree with you that a dog is the greatest exercise tool ever.  Ours is 5 months old and pushing 50 pounds and between me and my wife, he gets about two miles of walk most days.

 

Good luck!